I hate you when I hate myself..
Savagedistraction
Posts: 312 Member
I think it comes as no surprise that we are often the most critical of others, the most sarcastic, and the most likely to gossip when we feel we are lacking and failing in our own lives. I have definitely been guilty of this behaviour at times and I'm really trying to keep it in check. I'm not saying I'm going to fake sunshine and rainbows to everybody, or that I'm going to abandon my witty sarcasm when it's appropriate. I think I'm going to start by just refraining from comment when I can tell someone is simply looking for attention, and try to think where that is coming from. Ask more questions. Check my reactions until I have more information. Above all, just trying to practice more tolerance and compassion. It's a struggle at times. When I feel ugly, or afraid, or lonely. That is when I'm most likely to be touchy and critical. So that's my honest analysis, and my plan to change my behaviour in times of stress. Anyone care to discuss their own struggles with this?
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Lmao1
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Yes. I'm trying too consciously have that honest conversation with myself. I find myself often belittling people who dont stick to workout plans, because deep down I fear my own failure as such.0
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Read this:
.... or not; I don't care.6 -
Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree2
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Savagedistraction wrote: »Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree
yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.0 -
I have one co-worker who insults everyone I work with basically everyday. She says things that everyone interprets as condescending. I have a short-lived sense of hatred towards her, when she says something to me or one of my other co-workers that is rude or condescending.
I don't think she means to be so rude, but just has really bad social skills.
I am trying to not feel hostile towards her when she makes her comments. To just be able to let it go and not get irritated. It does make it better to know that everyone feels the same way about this person, but still, I want to be indifferent to her remarks.2 -
I think it helps to just remeber that everyone has a story. Doesn't mean you have to befriend her, or like how she is, but the perspective makes it easier to let go. Besides, nobody is perfect2
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Well it's not that I'm going to start being lovey dovey, it's more restraining myself from rudeness and judgement. Mostly because when I'm more likely to be that way it's because I'm feeling bad about myself. People with high self-esteem don't go around crapping on others.Motorsheen wrote: »Savagedistraction wrote: »Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree
yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.
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Savagedistraction wrote: »
Well it's not that I'm going to start being lovey dovey, it's more restraining myself from rudeness and judgement. Mostly because when I'm more likely to be that way it's because I'm feeling bad about myself. People with high self-esteem don't go around crapping on others.Motorsheen wrote: »Savagedistraction wrote: »Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree
yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.
That's true.
Indifference is a virtue.1 -
What has helped me is going out in nature. It has a way of removing the ego. I feel so miniscule in this universe when I stare at a tree that will probably still be standing long after I die. And it makes me feel so grateful to be in the present moment. To be here in this wonderfully giving universe. I can't tell you how many times I've been on a nature walk and been hit with a 5-10 min. rush of consciousness where I understand absolutely everything. Everything that could ever be understood, I understand it at that moment in time. And I feel completely bathed in this love and ecstasy and everything is one. You can't just teach or learn this stuff... it's a feeling you gotta surrender to, bro. So the way I see it, there's just so much more to the universe than the people in it. Who are we really in the grand scheme? When I can allow a tree to move me, it becomes so easy to love another human being. I don't have the energy for anything but the love and embracement of everything in this universe.
Does this make any sense?
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Yeah it does. I feel like that often as well. Exercise helps. I injured my back at work and I've had to Curtail a lot of my training in the last week. It's getting better and I'm thankful for that, but when I can't exercise like I want it messes with my head and I find myself getting more negative. Nobody is sunshine and light all the time, but I try to remember that when I'm in a bad mood dragging others down is not a solution.1
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Savagedistraction wrote: »I think it comes as no surprise that we are often the most critical of others, the most sarcastic, and the most likely to gossip when we feel we are lacking and failing in our own lives. I have definitely been guilty of this behaviour at times and I'm really trying to keep it in check. I'm not saying I'm going to fake sunshine and rainbows to everybody, or that I'm going to abandon my witty sarcasm when it's appropriate. I think I'm going to start by just refraining from comment when I can tell someone is simply looking for attention, and try to think where that is coming from. Ask more questions. Check my reactions until I have more information. Above all, just trying to practice more tolerance and compassion. It's a struggle at times. When I feel ugly, or afraid, or lonely. That is when I'm most likely to be touchy and critical. So that's my honest analysis, and my plan to change my behaviour in times of stress. Anyone care to discuss their own struggles with this?
I have a tendency to isolate myself when I am stressed or upset. Meditation helps me recenter myself.
Have you heard of THINK?
"Is what I am saying, texting or typing True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind?"
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What I do is compare myself to someone else. Like, for example @MeeseeksAndDestroy I compare myself with him and think "ya know, I got it pretty good"
I then go strolling confidently down the street like a young Mickey Rooney whistling a tune.
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Meh. I like most people more than I like myself.
I treat them better too.
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@MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »What I do is compare myself to someone else. Like, for example @MeeseeksAndDestroy I compare myself with him and think "ya know, I got it pretty good"
I then go strolling confidently down the street like a young Mickey Rooney whistling a tune.
Ya know, after posting that meme... your profile pic when viewed at a distance.... kinda uncomfortable ifyouknowwhatImean.
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ClubSilencio wrote: »What has helped me is going out in nature. It has a way of removing the ego. I feel so miniscule in this universe when I stare at a tree that will probably still be standing long after I die. And it makes me feel so grateful to be in the present moment. To be here in this wonderfully giving universe. I can't tell you how many times I've been on a nature walk and been hit with a 5-10 min. rush of consciousness where I understand absolutely everything. Everything that could ever be understood, I understand it at that moment in time. And I feel completely bathed in this love and ecstasy and everything is one. You can't just teach or learn this stuff... it's a feeling you gotta surrender to, bro. So the way I see it, there's just so much more to the universe than the people in it. Who are we really in the grand scheme? When I can allow a tree to move me, it becomes so easy to love another human being. I don't have the energy for anything but the love and embracement of everything in this universe.
Does this make any sense?
Your words ate amazing and I feel it. Ditto.ClubSilencio wrote: »What has helped me is going out in nature. It has a way of removing the ego. I feel so miniscule in this universe when I stare at a tree that will probably still be standing long after I die. And it makes me feel so grateful to be in the present moment. To be here in this wonderfully giving universe. I can't tell you how many times I've been on a nature walk and been hit with a 5-10 min. rush of consciousness where I understand absolutely everything. Everything that could ever be understood, I understand it at that moment in time. And I feel completely bathed in this love and ecstasy and everything is one. You can't just teach or learn this stuff... it's a feeling you gotta surrender to, bro. So the way I see it, there's just so much more to the universe than the people in it. Who are we really in the grand scheme? When I can allow a tree to move me, it becomes so easy to love another human being. I don't have the energy for anything but the love and embracement of everything in this universe.
Does this make any sense?0 -
There is core group of viscious "mean housewives" on the boards. I'm trying to learn to not have knee jerk reactions to their posts. They're probably unhappy, and I see what I fear in that, and lash back, which is the least productive thing to do ever, and really don't make me feel better anyway. Need to master the art of "skipping over that"4
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more like a bad reality show haha.kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Savagedistraction wrote: »There is core group of viscious "mean housewives" on the boards. I'm trying to learn to not have knee jerk reactions to their posts. They're probably unhappy, and I see what I fear in that, and lash back, which is the least productive thing to do ever, and really don't make me feel better anyway. Need to master the art of "skipping over that"
Sounds like a horror movie.
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Savagedistraction wrote: »
more like a bad reality show haha.kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Savagedistraction wrote: »There is core group of viscious "mean housewives" on the boards. I'm trying to learn to not have knee jerk reactions to their posts. They're probably unhappy, and I see what I fear in that, and lash back, which is the least productive thing to do ever, and really don't make me feel better anyway. Need to master the art of "skipping over that"
Sounds like a horror movie.
There's lots of franchises built around housewives....perhaps a RHoMFP is in the works1 -
Savagedistraction wrote: »
more like a bad reality show haha.kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Savagedistraction wrote: »There is core group of viscious "mean housewives" on the boards. I'm trying to learn to not have knee jerk reactions to their posts. They're probably unhappy, and I see what I fear in that, and lash back, which is the least productive thing to do ever, and really don't make me feel better anyway. Need to master the art of "skipping over that"
Sounds like a horror movie.
There's lots of franchises built around housewives....perhaps a RHoMFP is in the works
there is a thread for that...where do you think those women hang out??0 -
Savagedistraction wrote: »I think it comes as no surprise that we are often the most critical of others, the most sarcastic, and the most likely to gossip when we feel we are lacking and failing in our own lives. I have definitely been guilty of this behaviour at times and I'm really trying to keep it in check. I'm not saying I'm going to fake sunshine and rainbows to everybody, or that I'm going to abandon my witty sarcasm when it's appropriate. I think I'm going to start by just refraining from comment when I can tell someone is simply looking for attention, and try to think where that is coming from. Ask more questions. Check my reactions until I have more information. Above all, just trying to practice more tolerance and compassion. It's a struggle at times. When I feel ugly, or afraid, or lonely. That is when I'm most likely to be touchy and critical. So that's my honest analysis, and my plan to change my behaviour in times of stress. Anyone care to discuss their own struggles with this?
I think you posted something honest and vulnerable and brave and true. I'm with you.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Read this:
.... or not; I don't care.
I liked this book enough to listen to it 2 1/2 times.1 -
well today was a good day. Mentally stopped myself from being snappy and critical x2.3
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Savagedistraction wrote: »well today was a good day. Mentally stopped myself from being snappy and critical x2.
Sometimes just, venting helps; such as: creating this, thread! Good work ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))!0
This discussion has been closed.
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