Does your significant other hold you back on diet needs?

brybatman

I was in a relationship the last 3 & a half years, prior to that I would Fast periodically once a month or every couple months, eat clean light, lift & go on runs. Being in the relationship, as much as that person was an amazing person (at the time), she didnt like vegetables, did not excercise.

So to sacrifice my routines, when she'd cook dinner, of course heavy carbs, cheese, pastas, beer. My weight slowly began to rise & rise out of control. When I mentioned I would like a salad or maybe chicken breast & veggies, she'd look at me with a face of disdain & say, "Well you can eat that, Ill have something else" or my favorite "Well I guess I wont eat then". So I'd cave in to make her happy so we can eat together happily (well me not so happy)

It was weird, its like I felt this uneasyness bout eating so sinfully haha.

I ended the relationship for various reasons last Sat., in doing so I find myself so relieved, & finding myself back again, in eating the way I remember, having the energy back. Now Im on a journey to get back to my ideal weight goal.

Just curious if anyone went or knew anyone going through that?.
I know someone are gonna reply "thats the married life" or "life with a wifey" but I do see many
couples that motivate each other & go to the gym & eat good & stuff.

bigmuneymfp

Yes constant sabotage

brybatman

_har_T_Swallow wrote: »

went through it myself years ago now. it sucks but it is what it is. if someone is so little that they truly can't support you when you're trying to better yourself (most likely in part for them too), then they're not really worth it.

Yeah I should of saw that, not as a sign but maybe a breadcrumb that might lead to other situations.

Motorsheen

just the opposite.

She makes our own almond butter & coffee creamer. Makes amazing salads and buys only grass fed beef from a friend's ranch in California.

We keep sweets and chips out of the house and she will have a glass of wine from time to time but there is no liquor in our home ( there is a 6 pack of beer in the guest refrigerator that's been there if we have a house guest).

She will only have one cheat meal a week.

( On the other hand, I typically have 2 to 3 cheat meals a day... sometimes 4 ...or even 5; okay, 5 )

Motorsheen

This is the only beer we keep in the house (seriously).

It's a local hometown brew.

lilawolf

My ex started going to the gym but quit... I kept going and started running and starting doing martial arts. I did all of the cooking, so I did the choosing. He did eat pretty much anything which was nice. He was always free to make something else but was usually too lazy and did eat his veg... Probably helped that my diet included pizza once a week

But... It was also one more thing that we stopped having in common. Yet one more reason that we grew apart and it didn't work out.

cwolfman13

I don't think I'd like plain chicken and veg either and I'd probably roll my eyes if my wife ever suggested it...healthy doesn't have to be bland and boring.

peaceout_aly

I go to the gym daily, meal prep for myself (and my boyfriend) and live an ultimately healthy lifestyle. My boyfriend goes to the gym *occasionally* (before it was never, recently it's been 2 times x week) and eats what I meal prep but also eats out during the day since his job requires him to buy lunches for doctors, which are typically Chick Fil A or pizza. Clearly on different levels with the fitness thing. I'm obsessed, he's lenient. He will often times tell me that I can skip the gym just once, or make extra snack foods before bedtime for me, but I don't view that as him trying to sabotage me, he just thinks it will make me happy or less stressed. Very seldom do I give in to an extra treat or skipping the gym (I do two-a-days 6-7 x a week so if I already went for the day and he gets home late, I'll give in...gotta have quality time too) it's just about having that mental capability to not give in. In your situation, you said your girlfriend was making dinner and you gave in just to satisfy her. Personally, if my boyfriend did a different meal prep than me, or made a different dinner, I wouldn't be offended at all. You could still eat together, just eat what made you happy. Support and understanding are important when it comes to relationships.

brybatman

kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »

Ultimately you are responsible for yourself. It is unfortunate when a SO has no regard to your efforts, but if you are determined to reach your goals it is going to be up to you to do what it takes for yourself.

Precisely. Although with a S.O that will not fully support you & keeping junk food around, it does ultimatly take a toll on you because you want them to be happy & avoid arguments. In conclusion, I couldnt agree more.

RoxieDawn

This is where I had to learn that not everyone will be dieting when I am.

It looks like perhaps there were some other issues in the relationship that were not quite right, surely some compromise on either part and working to find a happy medium could be reached and if not then the best is to part ways..

Good luck to you and much success in reaching your goals.

MoiAussi93

My boyfriend has very different eating habits than I do...but he has never tried to pressure me into eating something that I didn't want to. If he is going for fast food, he will offer to get me something, but he is totally cool with me saying no thanks. When I cook, if it is something he likes, he will eat it and be appreciative. But he has no problem with me eating something that he doesn't like.

Your partner doesn't have to have the same habits, they just need to be accepting and understand that you will make some different choices. Your ex seems a little juvenile and selfish...sorry, I know you said she's a great person, but "I guess I won't eat then" is not something a mature, considerate partner would say, especially on a routine basis. Relationships are about compromise, or at least accommodation and tolerance. I'm glad you are back to habits that make you happy.

brybatman

lilawolf wrote: »

My ex started going to the gym but quit... I kept going and started running and starting doing martial arts. I did all of the cooking, so I did the choosing. He did eat pretty much anything which was nice. He was always free to make something else but was usually too lazy and did eat his veg... Probably helped that my diet included pizza once a week

But... It was also one more thing that we stopped having in common. Yet one more reason that we grew apart and it didn't work out.

Thats pretty much along with other factors would lead to having distance in my case. I'd wake up Sunday morning, nice day, I'd want to go out for a run, or Hell see she'd want to join with a casual walk, she'd say shes not a morning person & wouldnt get up, or say "Your day off, & you dont even want to stay in bed & cuddle", so then im torn, I'd eventually leave though cause Im not big on sleeping in.

MoiAussi93

Motorsheen wrote: »

This is the only beer we keep in the house (seriously).

It's a local hometown brew.

I've had that beer...we live in the same area. I'm also a fan of their Moon Juice.

Lounmoun

Incompatible people (different lifestyle, different interests, different beliefs, etc) seem to fizzle as a couple if one is always caving to the other's wishes while getting resentful. People who have some differences but compromise more seem to be able to keep going as a couple.

alida1walsh

My significant other gives me a bit of a hard time about my food choices but it's really a difference of opinion.

ATM he doesn't approve of the unsweetened almond milk I have on my cereal or the high protein milk I use in my coffee. He'll insist on nothing but full cream milk as it's "all natural". He also shamed me out of eating low fat ice cream saying it "is ice cream with the ice cream taken out". He also gives me a hard time about having plain Chobani 0.5% fat yoghurt. But I'll stick with it for now.

I give him a hard time about not eating enough vegetables. He used to call salad "rabbit food". But his vegetable consumption has improved a great deal since we've been together, especially given I do most of the cooking.

We never work out together but only because I prefer to do resistance training and run whereas he does free weights and surfs. We've both tried each other's exercise regimes but it doesn't suit. Our arguments are more about who has to stay with the kids while we exercise.

I guess what I'm saying is that relationships are about growing as people and compromise. If you're the only one willing to make a sacrifice then there is no compromise; only resentment. You cannot grow as people.

Also, I think your girlfriend probably enjoyed cooking and hoped you would shower her in praise. Sometimes I've spent a considerable amount of time and effort coming up with what I've considered to be restaurant quality meals only to be told things like "I'm not a big fan of curries". It hurts! But I've also adapted and so has he.

It's hard but I admire your stance. Stay strong!

take2spicy

Mine has gotten upset before because he wants to go out to eat which is OK and I want my family happy. It's not that I won't go but I'm more limited as to what I choose to put on my plate. It's not hard for me to say no to food it's more I get a dirty look or "is that all you are eating" type of talk that frustrates me. I mean I'm there so he can enjoy it. & I don't complain I just try to be happy. I think ppl get used to it after awhile or it's not about food it's about some other issue like insecurity or anger about something unrelated.

Motorsheen

why does anyone care what someone else is eating?

FabulousFantasticFifty

I sometimes feel Sabotaged by my entire Family!

TonyB0588

cwolfman13 wrote: »

I don't think I'd like plain chicken and veg either and I'd probably roll my eyes if my wife ever suggested it...healthy doesn't have to be bland and boring.

Chicken in our house isn't bland, and the vegetables aren't boring either.