Does your significant other hold you back on diet needs?

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  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
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    I think I'm the saboteur in our family since I love baking. ;) I am pretty cognizant of what we buy in the first place, though, so our overall diet is fairly healthy. And my attitude is that, if you are consistently dissatisfied with the way your SO does a specific chore, you should either take over that chore or pay someone else to do it.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    OP, sounds like you are your ex just weren't compatible. Glad you're getting back to your old self. You can take this as a learning experience. Now you know what you DON'T want in a partner, and you can avoid the same thing happening again.

    My husband and I are on the same team and share similar goals and values. We compromise on the few differences that we do have. We know each other's strengths and weaknesses, so we are able to support and encourage one another when and where needed. Where I am weak, he provides strength, and vice versa. I'm not sure what is the point of being in a relationship if you aren't actively and enthusiastically supporting your partner's needs. That sounds pretty grim to me. I'd rather be alone that stuck with someone who holds me back in life or makes me feel like I'm always on the losing end. Ugh...

    Good luck! :)
  • DanieSwob
    DanieSwob Posts: 67 Member
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    Yes, he is. Sometimes he will cook his own food because he isn't dieting he's thin and can eat what he wants. But when he cooks for us he will make two meals. We always cook fresh so if he's making himself some food he'll chose a healthier option for me. He loves white rice and a huge bowl full, he will do his and also put a small amount of brown rice on for me and so on.
    If I'm cooking he tells me not to bother cooking two meals and says he'll just eat whatever I'm eating whether that's veg and salad or just salad with a slice of chicken. He eats it without any problem or complaints. He likes to go out to eat sometimes too but I just chose the healthiest option I can find on the menu. If people have a problem what other people eat then there's obviously something wrong with them like some mental illness :smirk:
  • mwalle09
    mwalle09 Posts: 305 Member
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    I think it requires a certain give and take. If you are with someone who is not as into eating the same foods or the lifestyle you have, that should not be a dealbreaker unless it is your occupation or something more intense then you just trying to stay healthy yourself. But I think that as time goes on in any relationship, people begin to notice or scrutinize a partner's habits more and more and that can lead to some trouble. I'd also say its good to try to influence a partner into getting more healthy, especially if they are as unhealthy as some people can be because even if they are at a healthy weight or look fine, there could be some long term effects from it. Still, its not worth always getting into it over.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    DanieSwob wrote: »
    ...If people have a problem what other people eat then there's obviously something wrong with them like some mental illness :smirk:

    Interesting diagnosis. :flushed:
  • meghanvanalstine
    meghanvanalstine Posts: 3 Member
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    I just left a relationship where my partner was not motivated at all to exercise with me and had me buy all sorts of junk food for him when he knew i was trying very hard to be healthier and lose weight. It suck, but in the end you have to do whats best for you and your health. Just find someone who has the same goals and ideals is the lesson learned. U can love someone and not be able to be with that person. :) you're not alone for sure.
  • whatlunasaid
    whatlunasaid Posts: 173 Member
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    I do most of the cooking, and boyfriend eats almost everything I make. He is good about getting me out of the house for exercise, too. But he only ever requests that I make sweets and bread. (I usually oblige because puppy dog eyes.) He loves to enable my junk food addictions, too.

    But he's overweight and knows that needs to change, so when I put my foot down he listens. I think we have a decent, if imperfect, system.
  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,138 Member
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    Absolutely....I have been losing weight for almost 2 years....she still brings home donuts and *kitten* like that...I don't mind so much for me, but I have one son who seriously needs to lose weight, but she brings it home and he takes it and hides it in his room, if I don't find it and throw it away first
  • chantelp0508
    chantelp0508 Posts: 162 Member
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    Mine won't eat "healthy food" because it's different and gets pissed when I spent money on food that only I will eat.
  • take2spicy
    take2spicy Posts: 296 Member
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    chantelp0508 wrote: »
    Mine won't eat "healthy food" because it's different and gets pissed when I spent money on food that only I will eat.


    That sucks...I've been there..hugs
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Hmm.. I suppose I'm fortunate in the fact that I have a partner (almost ten years now) that does support my efforts and will both eat my cooking and actually measure out ingredients when I have him cook. The only downside is that he relies more heavily on exercise to maintain or lose his weight and continues to bring all sorts of things into the house (for himself and me) when I don't ask for them or want them there.

    Good news is that for the most part, I've learned enough restraint to not eat those foods, or eat them sparingly. His biggest weakness is ice cream. He'll buy a gallon and it'll be gone in less than three days. He buys me a tiny quart and it will be in there for months before I eat through it.

    Sad thing is, there's no way we can exercise together due to his job and having a child. Bit of a bummer, but this is my journey, not his.
  • melaniedscott
    melaniedscott Posts: 1,322 Member
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    brybatman wrote: »
    lilawolf wrote: »
    My ex started going to the gym but quit... I kept going and started running and starting doing martial arts. I did all of the cooking, so I did the choosing. He did eat pretty much anything which was nice. He was always free to make something else but was usually too lazy and did eat his veg... Probably helped that my diet included pizza once a week :p

    But... It was also one more thing that we stopped having in common. Yet one more reason that we grew apart and it didn't work out.

    Thats pretty much along with other factors would lead to having distance in my case. I'd wake up Sunday morning, nice day, I'd want to go out for a run, or Hell see she'd want to join with a casual walk, she'd say shes not a morning person & wouldnt get up, or say "Your day off, & you dont even want to stay in bed & cuddle", so then im torn, I'd eventually leave though cause Im not big on sleeping in.

    My hubs is a sleep-in-on-the-weekend kind of guy and I'm usually away by 6 or 6:30...I might stay for snuggles for an hour or so (read a book)...but eventually, gotta get up. And he gets that. Trying to make you feel guilty is not a mature choice.

    I have to say, that double chocolate porter sounds amazing...
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    Incompatible people (different lifestyle, different interests, different beliefs, etc) seem to fizzle as a couple if one is always caving to the other's wishes while getting resentful. People who have some differences but compromise more seem to be able to keep going as a couple.

    The key is not being resentful and compromise. I love all things veggie. I love fish. I love quinoa. I like Korean food. Hubs, not so much. The list of veg he dislikes is pretty long...but if I wanted to cook them, he'd be cool. He might not eat it, but he wouldn't hate that it was there or act like a kitten about it (except for cooked peppers...he claims the smell makes him queasy). I choose not to cook things he doesn't like unless I'm only cooking for myself. And if he really isn't into something I've cooked, he can eat a peanut butter sandwich (and does, happily). I go out for Korean with a friend, 'cuz I know he doesn't like it. It's about balance. I like what I like and he likes what he likes. There's overlap and that's where we tend of work from. I don't love sandwiches...I swear that when we met, he had a neon sign that would appear on his forehead twice a week that said, "Yellow Sub"...so occasionally, we'd go there. But if I wasn't into it, we would skip it for something we could agree on. Communicate!

    OP, it doesn't sound like your SO was into honest communication and wanted to play manipulative pouting games to get what she wanted. Yikes! You're probably better off without her.
  • massjenacide
    massjenacide Posts: 7 Member
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    My husband and I are separated right now, but yeah, I experience him setting me back on so much, diet and exercise included. I would often tell him not to bring soda or treats home for me and he would do it anyway. I know he was doing it as a sign of "affection", but to me, it started to feel like complete disregard to my desires.
    If I tried to work out in the house (I have to get up early to get any exercise in) Iwould have to be super quiet and keep the lights super low so he wouldn't get up and be grumpy.
    I would often be so tired after a day of dealing with him and work and our children that I just stopped trying to get fit or eat right. Now I just feel horrible about myself with everything that's gone on, and I want and need to get back on the train.
  • DapperDassie
    DapperDassie Posts: 190 Member
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    Fortunately, no. I'm really lucky that my boyfriend is actually my personal trainer. He's helped my weight loss immensely and motivates me with how fit he is
  • irxproductions
    irxproductions Posts: 28 Member
    edited May 2017
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    If your partner cooks dinner and it's not the healthiest, don't forget that you're in control of how much you eat. You can eat anything if you watch your portions. Use MFP to find a close substitute and use that including portion controls.

    Let's say your significant other makes homemade tacos. Well, you can probably bet their tacos are healthier than, say, Taco Bell's. So, why not use Taco Bell's calorie counts to record your dinner?

    This technique works for pretty much anything. Do a search in MFP for what you're eating and pick a result that sounds like it'd be close in calories (or, if you want to really work yourself, pick a MFP choice that sounds even unhealthier than what you're eating), and then use that. Restaurants like TGIFriday's or Denny's and other chains are notoriously unhealthy, so use their calorie counts for homecooked meals (or food you're eating which doesn't have an exact match).

    That's what worked for me when someone made me a dinner that might not be totally healthy.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
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    My husband lifts and is into a healthy lifestyle. However he doesn't count and laughs when I say "macro". I don't change the way I cook when Im trying to lose weight. I just eat less. Anything over the board gets annoying.

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