GUYS: would you end your relationship over extra skin ?

JTick

Would NEVER have started dating her at 300 lbs.. Yikes! SMH

Well, YOU sound like a catch.

maybe he didnt say it the nicest way but whats wrong with not wanting to date someone who is morbidly obese? its like when women say they wont date a guy who is short.

The ""yikes! smh" is what got me.

shadus

Just wanted to say, there are several very very attractive ladies in this thread who have lost significant weight and who need to stop, take a deep breath, and be confident in who they are now and not who they were.

You are beautiful. Skin and all. If someone fails to see that you just got the early warning that they weren't worth being with before wasting your time on them. You know you should be confident, you've already done something many struggle with and never resolve in their entire life. You are strong and beautiful and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.

Ivey05131980

No. If I loved her at 300 pounds why wouldn't I still love her at 175 loose skin or not?

She's the same woman so If he is repulsed by the lose skin then he should take a hard look in the mirror and decide why he was in the relationship in the first place.

This.

VorJoshigan

I lost a lot of weight....I have loose skin, I am ashamed of my current body. I am repulsed looking at it myself, let a lone expecting someone else to look at it, and think wow, you are really sexy!
...

This is me. I actually just asked a guy friend for a man's perspective on it. I just started dating a really great guy, and he knows how much weight I've lost. I don't know if the thought has connected yet at what that means my body looks like under my clothes. And I don't know if I should bring it up and warn him. We haven't been dating long enough for him to be seeing me naked any time soon, and I'd hope that by the time we reach that point he likes me enough to get past it. He is incredibly fit (his arms are bigger than my thighs, lol... and YUM!) But I also dealt with an ex-husband who every day told me I was repulsive, disgusting, deformed, etc. I'm terrified of seeing that same look of revulsion in this new guys eyes.

I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable enough for someone else to ever touch me or see me naked again.

You know exactly where I am coming from!!!!!......Scary!!!!!!

It makes me so sad that we women are so insecure and focused on trivial things and always thinking we aren't good enough. I know that we are bombarded with messages all our lives that we must be perfect and unrealistically beautiful or there is something "wrong" with us, but I dream of a future generation of women that rises above that and instead is strong and proud in who they are. I've made many changes in my life to try to give that to my daughter. I never put myself down and I never talk about being fat and I don't take part in the beauty industry and I cut off the cable tv recently. It's a start.

I have been single a long time but, occasionally, I also think about how I would "warn" a potential new partner about my skin. But, I can't remember the last time that a man felt the need to warn me that he is not perfect..... I don't expect a man to be perfect, but I do expect good health, a kind heart and a functional brain. Perhaps I should keep that in mind the next time I am thinking about the loose skin. (and NO, it cannot be toned!)

Edit: I do not consider surgery an option. Any surgery carries the risk of lifelong illness or death. I refuse to risk dying over loose skin.

For what it's worth, I have to fight this urge every time I get into a new relationship. I've come to understand that discovery is part of the relationship process and trying to short circuit it with disclosures is a mistake.

melb_alex

If you bread her and deep fry her, the skin is the best part....

hahahah this is awesome

but on a serious note I would increase the vitamin E...

melb_alex

Would NEVER have started dating her at 300 lbs.. Yikes! SMH

Well, YOU sound like a catch.

maybe he didnt say it the nicest way but whats wrong with not wanting to date someone who is morbidly obese? its like when women say they wont date a guy who is short.

This ^^ harsh dose of reality.

melb_alex

Discussing this with my husband tonight:

Me: the surgery is really intense, they basically cut you in half. You walk hunched over for weeks and can't do much of anything for six weeks. Not even stairs. We don't even have a first floor bathroom.

Him: well, you would have to ....

Me: no, I was talking about you.

Him: (small voice) oh.

haha another funny take

LiviLou2011

Id say if u didnt stay with her after she lost all that weight to feel better about herself..that she deserved better then this so called person to begin with.

withtimecomesmiracles

People are talking about how superficial the question is but isn't it required? Like the world isn't all good and people aren't all nice and sure ideally you'd find someone that worship everything about you but that's not always the case. When beginning a new relationship you are clueless about how the other person is gonna react when facing your imperfections. It's scary.

I never dated anyone when I was obese, granted I was only 17 but I never got the chance to find someone who 'likes me for me'. So now that clothed I look somewhat more standard, people who are attracted to me expects one thing and don't always realize that my body can't look like losing almost 100 pounds hasn't left its mark.
So obviously you can't help but feel insecure and nervous and scared wondering if it's gonna be a deal breaker. People are superficials, and judgmental, and douchey. I think it's a question women are allowed to ask themselves. It's hard always trying to live up to expectations while being constantly afraid of rejection.