Maybe my husband is attracted to bigger women???

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Mcgrawhaha
Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
in Motivation and Support
Maybe its just all in my mind, but it seems like the smaller I get, the more my husband ignores me. Maybe my expectations were that hed be super excited with my weight loss, and his lack of excitement is whats bothering me... I don't know... He seems to not even notice... but every other man that I come into contact with does... WTH? I think im just being over sensitive... oh well...

*Just had to vent / VENTING OVER :)
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  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Just maybe your husband loves you just the way you are and the changes you've made are just not that big of a deal to him.
  • FrankiesSaysRelax
    FrankiesSaysRelax Posts: 403 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
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    What changes did you want him to make now that you are smaller? Have you mentioned this to him?
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    Just maybe your husband loves you just the way you are and the changes you've made are just not that big of a deal to him.

    Very true... He always told me I didn't need to lose weight, even though I knew I needed to... maybe he just doesn't even see my "outside" anymore... that makes sense... I wish he noticed tho... would be nice.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    Pretty much exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for typing it before me :)
  • HisStrengthCounselor
    HisStrengthCounselor Posts: 191 Member
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    I can relate, my hubby likes me heavy, but if your and my husbands really love us, how weight should not matter.
  • TheBitSlinger
    TheBitSlinger Posts: 621 Member
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    Just ask him what's going on?
  • JSA17
    JSA17 Posts: 81 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    My husband once told me that he would be afraid if I lost a lot of weight because he might lose me. Maybe your husband feels the same way..................
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    Maybe ignoring me isn't the right word, its more like, ignoring the weight loss. ive told him, and hes like, ofcourse i notice, you look great... i guess i just thought he would be super excited having a wife that was not obese anymore...
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    What changes did you want him to make now that you are smaller? Have you mentioned this to him?

    honestly, i thought hed turn into the biggest pervert... i mean, for years all he has known is a 250 pound wife, and now to have a wife thas can actually look nice in clothes and wear a bathing suit, i just thought it would be exciting for him...
  • GamerGirly
    GamerGirly Posts: 158 Member
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    Maybe its just all in my mind, but it seems like the smaller I get, the more my husband ignores me. Maybe my expectations were that hed be super excited with my weight loss, and his lack of excitement is whats bothering me... I don't know... He seems to not even notice... but every other man that I come into contact with does... WTH? I think im just being over sensitive... oh well...

    *Just had to vent / VENTING OVER :)

    Perhaps he is insecure. Especially since other guys are taking notice of your success.
    Reverse the roles.. see things from his perspective.

    Personally, in this particular situation, I would make sure to show him how much I appreciate him.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    My husband once told me that he would be afraid if I lost a lot of weight because he might lose me. Maybe your husband feels the same way..................

    lol, well, we have 5 kids, so... i would hope he wouldn't think that some weight loss would turn me into someone who would up and leave, and do that to our kids...
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    My husband once told me that he would be afraid if I lost a lot of weight because he might lose me. Maybe your husband feels the same way..................


    both of these. As my weight loss progressed my husband became very insecure. I had to reassure him several times that I was doing it for me, not him, and certainly not anyone else. He is loving it now because of the confidence and charisma that I have gained.
  • WhataBroad
    WhataBroad Posts: 1,091 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    My husband once told me that he would be afraid if I lost a lot of weight because he might lose me. Maybe your husband feels the same way..................

    ^^This is probably what's going on but really... he will have the answer for you =)
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    If he ignores you the more you lose, I have to wonder if he's feeling insecure about you losing weight. He probably feels a little threatened that other men are noticing/commenting on your weight loss. Have you tried talking to him about it?

    My husband once told me that he would be afraid if I lost a lot of weight because he might lose me. Maybe your husband feels the same way..................


    both of these. As my weight loss progressed my husband became very insecure. I had to reassure him several times that I was doing it for me, not him, and certainly not anyone else. He is loving it now because of the confidence and charisma that I have gained.

    the thing is... MY HUSBAND IS HOT!!! i don't know how he could be insecure!!! lol
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
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    First of all, you look amazing. I mean, like-- wow. Awesome.

    However, if your husband is anything like mine, he might be proud of you and think you look great, but if he didn't think you needed to lose weight, it's not going to change his interests or appetites, etc. It might just be that he loved you the way you were, and he loves you the same way now, and no change prompted (or needed) in his mind.
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
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    There are plenty of men who deliberately go for bigger women. Some do it because of insecurity (can be either his or hers) and others do it because that's simply what they like. But the person best able to explain his reaction isn't me. It's him. Talk to him about it.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
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    What changes did you want him to make now that you are smaller? Have you mentioned this to him?

    honestly, i thought hed turn into the biggest pervert... i mean, for years all he has known is a 250 pound wife, and now to have a wife thas can actually look nice in clothes and wear a bathing suit, i just thought it would be exciting for him...

    He may have always seen you as this hot person that you now are and nothing is different for him. I'll be excited for you though! You look amazing!
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
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    wow......welcome to my world!

    My hubby totally ignores me! Wants nothing to do with sex. Umm...really makes me feel insecure about me now. But he was this way before my weight loss. It is really hard because I do get attention from men, and they are like " your hubby must be all over you" and so fourth! when really he just doesn't care!

    No matter what I say or do makes no difference to him. I have even considered the possibility that he is gay!!!
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    Dang girl, you look great!!! I think sometimes us women are just a little oversensitive about things. I know exactly what you are talking about. The little things to them are BIG things to us. Maybe sit down and talk to him and just tell him how you feel and I bet he will be shocked you feel this way. There is NO way he is not more attracted to you with your new transformation!! :) Keep it up!!

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