Maybe my husband is attracted to bigger women???

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  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    yeah, i have had talks with him, he thinks im crazy. he says i look great, he says hes proud of me... i just don't feel like he acts like it, or shows it... i don't know, im sure its 100% completely in my head, just wanted to get some other perspectives on it, and all of you seem to be on the same track... that's actually very encouraging to me! thanks again!
  • mikelosewt
    mikelosewt Posts: 3 Member
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    Will echo response below. Some spouses are insecure when their spouse is losing the weight, and even may encourage their spouse to overeat so they appear to be less attractive to others. On the other hand,as you slim you may be more attractive to some people while becoming less attractive to others. There are many health benefits (less wear and tear on the organs, the lower back and the leg joints) to weight loss as long as it is not too excessive because at some point, you will have to adjust your nutritional intake (eat a little more to maintain your good weight. I lost about 20 pounds, the gut is gone and my Wife is very Happy! Take Care!!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Could be right; I've known a few like that. One man told his wife not to lose weight because his ideal for a woman was that she be exactly like a big soft pillow he could sink into and forget his day.

    bleh! but it takes all kinds
  • annakow
    annakow Posts: 385 Member
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    Oh dear..I left my boyfriend after 4 years relationship. He wasn't happy and supportive about my new life and ways in my opinion.. I got a feeling he found me less attractive? Maybe he just got fed up with my weight problems...we can be difficult at times.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    You may have to get aggressively naked and wave the changes in his face. My own DH thought he was being so supportive--and he was,if I brought the subject up-- but he didn't realize until I pointed it out that he said never a word about it unless I mentioned it first. Never occurred to him. That's a man for you.
  • _Tara_R
    _Tara_R Posts: 688 Member
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    I'm going through the same thing right now...it's like he doesn't notice me at all. He's not the most supportive person either. I could walk around naked and I don't think he would notice!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    one of my problems with the get naked and jump on him thing is that i have very low self esteem from years of being over weight. i still lock myself in the bathroom to change, i still wear big bulky sweats and tshirts to bed... i don't even know how to seduce a man, let alone, getting naked without all the lights off and the black out curtains shut! lol
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
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    one of my problems with the get naked and jump on him thing is that i have very low self esteem from years of being over weight. i still lock myself in the bathroom to change, i still wear big bulky sweats and tshirts to bed... i don't even know how to seduce a man, let alone, getting naked without all the lights off and the black out curtains shut! lol

    Oh honey! If you aren't flaunting it and showing off your new confidence (which you should have and earned) then how is your husband supposed to act different. It's kind of the same situation. He's not jumping your bones because of the weight loss and neither are you. Go out there and buy some hot lingerie and flaunt the hell out of your body. You earned this, you both should be enjoying it!

    At least buy some cute sleep clothes. Those work well too. :)
  • kkclif
    kkclif Posts: 155 Member
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    one of my problems with the get naked and jump on him thing is that i have very low self esteem from years of being over weight. i still lock myself in the bathroom to change, i still wear big bulky sweats and tshirts to bed... i don't even know how to seduce a man, let alone, getting naked without all the lights off and the black out curtains shut! lol

    Oh honey! If you aren't flaunting it and showing off your new confidence (which you should have and earned) then how is your husband supposed to act different. It's kind of the same situation. He's not jumping your bones because of the weight loss and neither are you. Go out there and buy some hot lingerie and flaunt the hell out of your body. You earned this, you both should be enjoying it!

    At least buy some cute sleep clothes. Those work well too. :)

    Yep. Hit up Victoria's Secret and wear it to bed. No more seduction necessary. :flowerforyou:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Just ask him what's going on?

    Silly person...

    ...actually talking to your spouse about stuff is not the MFP way.
  • ttiiggzz
    ttiiggzz Posts: 154 Member
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    My husband preferred me bigger. He met the boy's girlfriend before I did, and when I asked what he thought of her, he said nice curves... like you used to have.

    He was 'ignoring' me for a while, but I think he realized it was futile so he's paying attention to again. LOL
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    Just ask him what's going on?

    Silly person...

    ...actually talking to your spouse about stuff is not the MFP way.

    lol, I have asked him several times, he thinks its all in my head...
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Just maybe your husband loves you just the way you are and the changes you've made are just not that big of a deal to him.

    Very true... He always told me I didn't need to lose weight, even though I knew I needed to... maybe he just doesn't even see my "outside" anymore... that makes sense... I wish he noticed tho... would be nice.

    That's a pretty big change not to notice. I'd say it's more like he feels insecure. Make him feel more secure. =D
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    one of my problems with the get naked and jump on him thing is that i have very low self esteem from years of being over weight. i still lock myself in the bathroom to change, i still wear big bulky sweats and tshirts to bed... i don't even know how to seduce a man, let alone, getting naked without all the lights off and the black out curtains shut! lol
    So, start to change little things at first, maybe not the VS right away if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but show more skin. Change your bedroom attire into a little tank top and shorts. Change your shirt in front of him. Baby steps to build your confidence, so that when you do show off your VS, you will be completely confident in your own skin....
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Some men like bigger women. It doesn't make him insecure (even though that seems to be the prevailing thought.), it just means he has a preference. Some guys like tall women, short women, muscular women, thin women, and blonds or redheads or whatever.

    However just because he is more inclined towards bigger women doesn't mean he can't also be attracted to you.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    Just ask him what's going on?

    Silly person...

    ...actually talking to your spouse about stuff is not the MFP way.

    lol, I have asked him several times, he thinks its all in my head...
    myb it is then?
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    Just ask him what's going on?

    Silly person...

    ...actually talking to your spouse about stuff is not the MFP way.

    lol, I have asked him several times, he thinks its all in my head...
    myb it is then?

    yeah, I figured that, that's why I kinda wanted to get some other perspectives from my peers... see what some other interpretations could be... looks as though im just being extra sensitive...
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
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    would hang...hard, alot.

    There ya go.
  • Melissa11412
    Melissa11412 Posts: 145 Member
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    Maybe ignoring me isn't the right word, its more like, ignoring the weight loss. ive told him, and hes like, ofcourse i notice, you look great... i guess i just thought he would be super excited having a wife that was not obese anymore...

    so he has noticed and has commented on your weight loss. **the following is a serious question, no smartazz involved** What is it you want him to do [exactly]? you say you thought he would be super excited.....maybe his version of super excited isn't the same as yours?
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Just maybe your husband loves you just the way you are and the changes you've made are just not that big of a deal to him.

    Very true... He always told me I didn't need to lose weight, even though I knew I needed to... maybe he just doesn't even see my "outside" anymore... that makes sense... I wish he noticed tho... would be nice.

    In a way, it's a good thing. He loves you for you and not what you look like. Still, we all like to feel sexy and desired. I know he thinks it's in your head, but you could tell him that he needs to tell you that he's attracted to you if he wants you to feel that way. Also, a weekend away without the kids could always ramp things up ;)

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