My friend constantly vents to me about his girl ... at this point what do I say to him?

trytpbme1
trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
edited November 18 in Chit-Chat
My guy friend has a girlfriend , they've been together for one year and he is miserable. He is very affectionate and she doesn't give him any affection back he likes to cuddle ,kiss,hold hands etc and she never initiates any of that.
He pays all of the bills and she only pays her half of the rent and she makes a lot more money than he does and he buys the washing powder ,dish detergent etc so basically she only pays for one thing. He finds it weird that she goes to her moms house every single day.
When he calls her he says that she acts like he's bothering her. Also he says he has tried to break up with her once before and she went to his bestfriend and tried to talk him into getting them back together.... he talks about leaving her then calls me and complains about how he feels about her and how he dislikes her personality ...
why won't he leave her then? I'm trying to be a good friend and be supportive but I don't get him
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Replies

  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Is she hot?
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    Let him live his life. Nothing you say to him is going to make him change his mind.

    I am letting him live his life but he vents like .. what am I supposed to do ?
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    Is she hot?

    She's okay she's not ugly
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    Let him live his life. Nothing you say to him is going to make him change his mind.

    I bet I could think of something...
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    trytpbme1 wrote: »
    Let him live his life. Nothing you say to him is going to make him change his mind.

    I am letting him live his life but he vents like .. what am I supposed to do ?

    Honestly, I would simply say I'm not going to listen to you complain about a problem that you're not willing to fix.

    You stole that from my conversation with you yesterday.
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    Bang his gf
  • PrincessMel72
    PrincessMel72 Posts: 1,094 Member
    I'd let him know that while I realize he's venting, the problems aren't going to go anywhere and if he truly wants to be happy, he needs to move on from her.
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  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    OP guy or girl?
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    OP guy or girl?

    Female
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    there's nothing wrong with their relationship. he's just trying to get with you too.


    I doubt it lol
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    trytpbme1 wrote: »
    Let him live his life. Nothing you say to him is going to make him change his mind.

    I am letting him live his life but he vents like .. what am I supposed to do ?

    Honestly, I would simply say I'm not going to listen to you complain about a problem that you're not willing to fix.

    You stole that from my conversation with you yesterday.

    I believe you have me mistaken for some other mentally challenged middle aged dude

    Could be. The list is long.
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    I'd let him know that while I realize he's venting, the problems aren't going to go anywhere and if he truly wants to be happy, he needs to move on from her.


    Thanks nicely said I can't wait to say this the next time he brings this up
  • DasItMan91
    DasItMan91 Posts: 5,753 Member
    trytpbme1 wrote: »
    Let him live his life. Nothing you say to him is going to make him change his mind.

    I am letting him live his life but he vents like .. what am I supposed to do ?

    Honestly, I would simply say I'm not going to listen to you complain about a problem that you're not willing to fix.

    This, tell him to stop complaining to you about his relationship problems.
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    Your guy friend wants to get with you
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    there's nothing wrong with their relationship. he's just trying to get with you too.

    Yup. Why else would a guy have bitchsessions about his girlfriend to his female friend. Either this or he has not yet come out of the closet. :o

    p.s. I'm kidding. I'm sleepy and silly right now.
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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Had a friend that did the same things for almost 20 years. I would always ask if there was ANYTHING he liked about his wife and why he stayed married. Finally got divorced and although he is much happier, most of that has to do with his attitude change towards his new SO.

    Funny how looking at the good in people shadows the bad, and vice versa.
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    Your guy friend wants to get with you

    Well why would he complain about his gf and not leave her I doubt it lol
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Maybe tell him to post on a fitness site to get answers...
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    He wants to have you on the side
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    Or he is waiting for you to show interest before he leaves the other
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    trytpbme1 wrote: »
    tsortsor wrote: »
    Your guy friend wants to get with you

    Well why would he complain about his gf and not leave her I doubt it lol

    just because he wants to bang you doesn't mean he wants to leave his girlfriend. He wants your you know...sympathy.
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    He wants to have you on the side
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    trytpbme1 wrote: »
    tsortsor wrote: »
    Your guy friend wants to get with you

    Well why would he complain about his gf and not leave her I doubt it lol

    just because he wants to bang you doesn't mean he wants to leave his girlfriend. He wants your you know...sympathy.


    Oh wow thanks guys for answering
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    Some ppl like to piss and moan about everything. I'd follow @abitoftrouble advice here but you know him better than us. Go in direct and hard and tell him to stop complaining if he isn't going to do anything about it or go softy softy and try talk him round.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,447 Member
    Tell him you are sick of him complaining about his girl and he can dump her or not but you are done listening to it. Then when he starts complaing make one conversation topic change. "How about the cubs this year? " if continues to complain stand up say you will see him later and walk away.
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    I think you knew that.. you just wanted justification/ confirmation before u jumped in
  • trytpbme1
    trytpbme1 Posts: 107 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    I think you knew that.. you just wanted justification/ confirmation before u jumped in


    Actually no because he hasn't gave me a sign of interest
  • tsortsor
    tsortsor Posts: 830 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    I think you knew that.. you just wanted justification/ confirmation before u jumped in

    Would you stop acting like you don't know how to use the quote function. No one knows who you are ever talking to.

    Sure
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    tsortsor wrote: »
    tsortsor wrote: »
    I think you knew that.. you just wanted justification/ confirmation before u jumped in

    Would you stop acting like you don't know how to use the quote function. No one knows who you are ever talking to.

    Sure

    Well now that's better, isn't it. Nice PP

    It was clear, which is good, right?
This discussion has been closed.