Do you compare yourself to others?

Just_Mel_
Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
edited 7:11AM in Chit-Chat
Question for the ladies mostly but I guess guys do it to. Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is this just insecurity? I've struggled for years to not do it but it's hard not to check out a hot chick and compare my butt to hers or wish I was pretty like her, had better hair etc.
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Replies

  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    Nope, I'd have zero confidence and be a dribbling wreck if I did.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    of course i wish i was taller, a little thinner, and more talkative like my cousin
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    I find myself admiring other women's attributes that I don't have. I often think "I love her hair, body part, intelligence, confidence, voice etc". If I feel envy it is in a good-natured way, that I would like to have that too, but I don't begrudge her for having the attributes that I think are desirable.

    I do compare myself too, a lot. I don't know why. Sadly I often fall short to my comparisons, so that must be insecurity.
  • DasItMan91
    DasItMan91 Posts: 5,753 Member
    edited May 2017
    I used to compare myself all the time to people but now it's not as prevalent anymore. Once and a while I'll do it again but I try not to. Everybody has insecurities and are going to compare themselves to others especially if they're more successful than they are. However, I will never hate or get jealous of another man just cause he makes more than me or is better looking than me or whatever. I'm like "Wow this dude's got money, I wonder how he did that. I wanna be as successful as he is or at least try to be successful in my own way". You can learn a thing or two from these guys or you can even try to aspire to be emulate their success. Being jealous of another person because they're better looking or make more than you is a feminine trait imo.
  • megdnoorman
    megdnoorman Posts: 282 Member
    I do, but I don't do it in a self-hating sort of way (though lord knows I used to). Now I sort of do it for inspiration and motivation. I don't get down on myself (or her). For instance, right now Julianne Hough is my body inspiration, I like how toned and lean she is. So, when I don't feel like working out, or I want to forge myself on unhealthy stuff, I think about her and it helps motivate me.

    My inspiration changes, and I sometimes comes from someone I see running on the sidewalk, but it's always more of a "wow, she has great arms. I need to step back up my push up game so I can have arms like that."


    As a note, I used to have a lot of negative self-defeating thoughts when I saw someone I deemed better than me in some way, and it took a long time to get past that. Now that I have, I am so much happier, and getting (and staying) in track with my health and fitness is so much easier.
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    What's that quote? Comparison is the thief of joy?
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I find myself admiring other women's attributes that I don't have. I often think "I love her hair, body part, intelligence, confidence, voice etc". If I feel envy it is in a good-natured way, that I would like to have that too, but I don't begrudge her for having the attributes that I think are desirable.

    I do compare myself too, a lot. I don't know why. Sadly I often fall short to my comparisons, so that must be insecurity.

    I think the poster I quoted above pretty much sums up my own thoughts on it pretty well too.
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
    When I was younger, I did. But at my age now (42), I'm happy with myself. Nope, I'm not the most beautiful. Nope, my body isn't perfect. Nope, I don't have the best of the best. But what I do have is a body that my husband still desires; a body that gave birth to 3 beautiful, healthy babies, a happy marriage and most importantly inner peace. I'm happy with me. Yes, I am my biggest critic but it's not because of how someone else looks. It because it's not how I want to look. It's not how I want to feel. I want to feel good about me physically as I do mentally. That's what I'm working towards. Health! I want to be healthy! I've seen some really pretty ladies but their attitude made them ugly. I've seen some who weren't ugly, by no means, but carried themselves with confidence and a great attitude who were prettier to me than the "beauty queens". It's all in the eye of the beholder. I refuse to compare myself to anyone to create misery for myself.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Scoreboard

    It's a *kitten*.
  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member
    I mostly admire woman. I can't envy her for good genes or because she knows how to keep herself together. When I was in my lowest point in my life, I used to do it ALL THE TIME. I've come a long way since then. I'm not gonna lie and said it hasn't happen recently but it mostly circumstancial but then I get over it quickly. I'm still human :)
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    Question for the ladies mostly but I guess guys do it to. Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is this just insecurity? I've struggled for years to not do it but it's hard not to check out a hot chick and compare my butt to hers or wish I was pretty like her, had better hair etc.

    You look good on TV

    maxresdefault.jpg
  • annegegg
    annegegg Posts: 3 Member
    More competitive. Like, "I work out more than she does" or "she eats way more snacks than me", and generally only with people I know well. Most of the time, it's more like I see myself in the mirror and wince.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
    I think it's animal instinct.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    I finally couldn't stand the heat in crossfit the other day and took my shirt off. . Then I looked to my left and the guy next to me looks like a Michelangelo sculpture (except. .you know. . with pants). . So yeah. . I put my shirt back on. .
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited May 2017
    This content has been removed.
  • JLAJ81
    JLAJ81 Posts: 2,477 Member
    I'm always comparing myself to other woman. They usually get upset with me because I stare a little too long
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    Question for the ladies mostly but I guess guys do it to. Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is this just insecurity? I've struggled for years to not do it but it's hard not to check out a hot chick and compare my butt to hers or wish I was pretty like her, had better hair etc.

    You check out hot chicks? Wow so do I and I compare body parts too...
  • mattfieller
    mattfieller Posts: 22 Member
    All the time...I suffer from anxiety. It's hard to go out to places. I always feel like I'm small or don't look good enough. But I'm 6 foot 3 and 260 pounds. All mental but still holds me back. That's also why I don't go to the gym and rather work out at home. Lifetime battle
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    When I was younger...the older I get, the less I care about that kind of stuff. Also, most people don't take me for a 42 year old so I think I'm doin' alright...
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    jenilla1 wrote: »
    This might sound terribly conceited, but when I compare myself to others I usually feel like a winner. High self esteem, I guess. I'm realistic though, so if there's someone out there who has a feature (whether it's physical, mental, some talent) that is awesome and that I don't have or that I'm not as good at, I notice it. But I'm not the jealous type and I don't feel bad about myself. It's either a trait that I don't really care about, or if it IS something that I value, I just think, "Wow, that's really cool." I usually just admire their awesomeness, give them a thumbs up in my mind, and move on. I think of them as a good example, but it doesn't make me any less of a person just because other people out there are awesome, too. I DO compare myself to myself, though. I'm always trying to be the best version of me that I can.

    awesome post !

    .... don't get cocky.


    wait.

    too late for that, huh? ;)
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
    jenilla1 wrote: »
    This might sound terribly conceited, but when I compare myself to others I usually feel like a winner. High self esteem, I guess. I'm realistic though, so if there's someone out there who has a feature (whether it's physical, mental, some talent) that is awesome and that I don't have or that I'm not as good at, I notice it. But I'm not the jealous type and I don't feel bad about myself. It's either a trait that I don't really care about, or if it IS something that I value, I just think, "Wow, that's really cool." I usually just admire their awesomeness, give them a thumbs up in my mind, and move on. I think of them as a good example, but it doesn't make me any less of a person just because other people out there are awesome, too. I DO compare myself to myself, though. I'm always trying to be the best version of me that I can.

    I was going to say something similar. I'm glad it's not just insecure people who compare themselves to others.
    I think I'm probably ridiculous in my justifications though. Like "Sure, he's bigger and stronger but I'm probably a better runner" or "Man, that guys really moving but I bet I'm better at... I don't know, video games or something. Screw that guy"
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    There's always going to be someone bigger, stronger, leaner, richer, faster, etc. I just strive to be the best that I can. I can't be in the gym 2hrs a day b/c of other committments, but when I'm there I make it count!
  • bigmuneymfp
    bigmuneymfp Posts: 2,235 Member
    I could care less
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