Do you compare yourself to others?

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  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    Question for the ladies mostly but I guess guys do it to. Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is this just insecurity? I've struggled for years to not do it but it's hard not to check out a hot chick and compare my butt to hers or wish I was pretty like her, had better hair etc.

    You check out hot chicks? Wow so do I and I compare body parts too...
  • mattfieller
    mattfieller Posts: 22 Member
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    All the time...I suffer from anxiety. It's hard to go out to places. I always feel like I'm small or don't look good enough. But I'm 6 foot 3 and 260 pounds. All mental but still holds me back. That's also why I don't go to the gym and rather work out at home. Lifetime battle
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
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    When I was younger...the older I get, the less I care about that kind of stuff. Also, most people don't take me for a 42 year old so I think I'm doin' alright...
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
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    jenilla1 wrote: »
    This might sound terribly conceited, but when I compare myself to others I usually feel like a winner. High self esteem, I guess. I'm realistic though, so if there's someone out there who has a feature (whether it's physical, mental, some talent) that is awesome and that I don't have or that I'm not as good at, I notice it. But I'm not the jealous type and I don't feel bad about myself. It's either a trait that I don't really care about, or if it IS something that I value, I just think, "Wow, that's really cool." I usually just admire their awesomeness, give them a thumbs up in my mind, and move on. I think of them as a good example, but it doesn't make me any less of a person just because other people out there are awesome, too. I DO compare myself to myself, though. I'm always trying to be the best version of me that I can.

    awesome post !

    .... don't get cocky.


    wait.

    too late for that, huh? ;)
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
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    jenilla1 wrote: »
    This might sound terribly conceited, but when I compare myself to others I usually feel like a winner. High self esteem, I guess. I'm realistic though, so if there's someone out there who has a feature (whether it's physical, mental, some talent) that is awesome and that I don't have or that I'm not as good at, I notice it. But I'm not the jealous type and I don't feel bad about myself. It's either a trait that I don't really care about, or if it IS something that I value, I just think, "Wow, that's really cool." I usually just admire their awesomeness, give them a thumbs up in my mind, and move on. I think of them as a good example, but it doesn't make me any less of a person just because other people out there are awesome, too. I DO compare myself to myself, though. I'm always trying to be the best version of me that I can.

    I was going to say something similar. I'm glad it's not just insecure people who compare themselves to others.
    I think I'm probably ridiculous in my justifications though. Like "Sure, he's bigger and stronger but I'm probably a better runner" or "Man, that guys really moving but I bet I'm better at... I don't know, video games or something. Screw that guy"
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    There's always going to be someone bigger, stronger, leaner, richer, faster, etc. I just strive to be the best that I can. I can't be in the gym 2hrs a day b/c of other committments, but when I'm there I make it count!
  • bigmuneymfp
    bigmuneymfp Posts: 2,235 Member
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    I could care less
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
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    thesunmoonandstars wrote: »
    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    Question for the ladies mostly but I guess guys do it to. Why do we compare ourselves so much to each other? Is this just insecurity? I've struggled for years to not do it but it's hard not to check out a hot chick and compare my butt to hers or wish I was pretty like her, had better hair etc.


    I know you're not putting this out here for compliments, but I just want to tell you how I view you.

    You seem very strong, there's something about you that exudes inner strength. You have skin that I envy and every single time I see you post in the selfie thread, I think you're confident and flawless. I don't have that kind of courage to post there. Your posts are quick witted too and I admire that.

    What a kind and genuine compliment! Thank you! :kissing_heart:
  • bathmatt12345
    bathmatt12345 Posts: 145 Member
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    Not as much as other people do :D
  • CWynne3
    CWynne3 Posts: 116 Member
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    I think we all want to be the best we can be, and that's normal... Good even. But the problem is that when we're figuring out what a "better me" entails, we look at the attributes of those around us. The beauty we find in other people (beit physical, intellectual, emotional, etc.) is what we use to formulate our standard. There's nothing wrong with recognizing the beauty/strengths in others! But we HAVE to understand that our identities simply aren't found in other people. You were made to be you, made to look like you, made to sound like you, made to shine like you... Not anyone else. There truly is only one you. You have SO much purpose and SO much to offer and you cannot fulfill your purpose or give what you've got to offer when you're trying to be anything other than you! I used to look at my brother and think, "I wish I were funny and outgoing like him." People would flock to him because he was just so great to be around. I tried to be like him and I'd push myself to put myself out there. But it was exhausting! And while I was able to create this sense of acceptance for myself, I wasn't happy. Thing is, I'm an introvert! I'm not a super outgoing, life-of-the-party, make everyone laugh all the time kind of woman... But let me tell you what I AM! I am very intuitive and discerning. I am extremely sensitive and I don't just see the needs of others- I can feel it. I am an incredible listener and I've been gifted with wisdom. I'm quiet... Not because I'm a mouse or because I have no backbone, but because I think carefully before I speak. I care deeply, I feel deeply, I love deeply. I don't have the great numbers of friends my brother has and I don't make people fall over from laughter. And that's okay! Those are just a couple of the beautiful attributes I see and love in my brother. My hair is thin, my nose is wide, my boobs aren't huge, my complexion is really light. But I wouldn't want it any other way... My appearance makes me, well... Me! I've just learned to recognize that all the comparisons I could make are really just me seeing what I find beautiful in others. I guess I find thick hair, narrower noses, larger breasts and darker complexions beautiful. But that doesn't mean I am not beautiful too. So your butt might not look like the girl next to you and your hair might be different, but just remember that she is not the only kind of beautiful. Who you are may be different, but it's beautiful too and has so very much to offer. <3
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    edited May 2017
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    cabronlobos wrote: »
    I am supremely confident. So no I don't feel the need to compare myself to anybody. But I'm almost 47 yrs old and it definitely wasn't always this way. I'm on my 3rd bucket list of things I want to accomplish. My first one was weak and I didn't realize it until I completed it. My next one I thought would be the last one because I made it harder and thought it would take a lifetime to achieve, I was happy to be wrong. I think that's what has changed me into the confident person I like being instead of the person I wasn't all that fond of.

    I like this. I know when I get out of my comfort zone or do new things or something that scares me, I feel super empowered and confident when I accomplish it. Even if it's something stupid like fixing a broken toilet myself instead of calling my ex to help me.

    I need to make some bucket lists.

    Also just to clarify, I'm not jealous of others. More like observant of them. Then I internalize things. Sometimes they motivate me, on bad days they make me feel insecure.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    I think that any of us who say that we don't admire others qualities and wish that they had those longer legs, flatter stomach, prettier face, etc... are exaggerating! I think it's human nature!
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
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    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    I think that any of us who say that we don't admire others qualities and wish that they had those longer legs, flatter stomach, prettier face, etc... are exaggerating! I think it's human nature!

    There's a difference in admiration and comparison.
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
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    I compare myself to the Sun, a leaf in the wind, a glass of water. It's deep, bro.

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