Do you compare yourself to others?
Replies
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Yes but more of in an inspiring way not in the self deprecating way. I have decent self esteem so it doesn't get to me toooooo much.2
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I compare myself to other women literally *all* the time. I have forever... and I'm aware it's unhealthy and a result of low self esteem. But since I've been the fat chick and never the pretty girl all my life, it's hard to shake that. I'm trying to focus on "If I work hard enough, I could look fantastic like that, too!" instead of "I'll never look that good, why bother." I'm doing better with it, but I've still got lots of work to do... mentally and physically.1
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Definitely insecurities, but I think it's something we do as humans. It doesn't have to always be looks either, as a girl I longed to have mama's and daddies like the other kids. As a teen I wanted to be taller, and drive a pretty car like the rich kids. As a heavy woman I envied the grace and attention all the pretty girls got. As a thinner chic I strive to be stronger like the lifters. I don't know that who I am now is insecure anymore, just more competitive with myself. I watch others to see and learn what and how they are lifting or running or sometimes eating, but the score for me to beat is my own. I worry much more about what people will remember about me as a person, vs who was checking out the goods cause I'm so hawt.
Hope that all makes sense...3 -
No what's the point?0
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Honestly, I used to. I had self-esteem issues early in life due to bullying. I used to compare myself to others and strive to be like them.
Then one day, I had an eye opening revelation. I figured out that there were people who were comparing themselves to me (not physically, not too many people strive to be as big as I am) and striving to be where I was in life.
At that point, I might compare myself to others but mainly in a physical way and not in a self deprecating way. I might look at a guy on MFP and say, I should work to have arms like that or to have pecs as big as his. I use others as positive inspiration now. If I work hard, I might be ripped like him!!!4 -
No. I would be judging myself and other people with some unnecessary expectation. This wouldn't be good imo.0
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Nope. I'm unique. Others compare themselves to me.3
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Other women are your allies, not your competition. Just stop it! Comparison is the thief of joy!1
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I do. I think it's useful/inspirational. If somebody else can lose weight, for example, then so can you. People aren't magic, and can copy the behavior of others to improve themselves if they have similar goals.
I don't necessarily think it's a good idea to derive your goals from the goals of other people.
You have to figure those out for yourself.
After comparing yourself to an ideal you can fall way short...I know I do. That creates frustration and cognitive dissonance, but you can resolve that by developing a plan of action to reach your goal. If you do nothing about it, then I think it leads to despair as you'll always know that your goal will never be obtained. Even if you can never obtain your goals, I think there is a lot of satisfaction in trying to go after them.0 -
annieberical wrote: »Other women are your allies, not your competition. Just stop it! Comparison is the thief of joy!
Comparison isn't competition.
But I do love that quote, I tell myself that often!0 -
I think it's just kinda something everyone does and it's super hard not to. Try to just compete with yourself instead of others though.
Then you get into a habit of pushing your boundaries to make yourself happy instead of doing it because you feel like you owe it to whoever/whatever else which just endlessly makes you feel like crap.0 -
I do compare myself to others, and it makes me feel really really unattractive, because Los Angeles.1
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Sometimes.
Here I feel like I am lacking in many areas, so I head over to Facebook and I am smart and pretty again.4 -
I compare myself to others physically. When walking with my daughter if I see someone who I think is about my size I will ask her if she thinks we're the same size. I think it's more out of curiosity, I'm not sure I'm seeing myself as others see me. If I am fooling myself maybe?
Sometimes I wonder how someone can afford this or that. I think "How much are they making?" Reality is I don't have any credit card debt and my house is almost paid off and I have decent retirement savings. So I may not travel as much as I would like to or have the newest car but I know I have other things going for me.0 -
I used to do it all the time. It took me a long time to realize I don't have to be like everyone else. I still slip into that way of thinking on occassions.0
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I compare myself to others physically. When walking with my daughter if I see someone who I think is about my size I will ask her if she thinks we're the same size. I think it's more out of curiosity, I'm not sure I'm seeing myself as others see me. If I am fooling myself maybe?
Sometimes I wonder how someone can afford this or that. I think "How much are they making?" Reality is I don't have any credit card debt and my house is almost paid off and I have decent retirement savings. So I may not travel as much as I would like to or have the newest car but I know I have other things going for me.
^ What??? You mean, strangers? How do they react to that?
I would be a little taken aback if someone on the street approached me to ask whether I thought we were the same size. If the person was obviously bigger, I'd never say so, as it would hurt her feelings, so I'd probably nod and agree; and if I thought we were the same I'd just nod and agree. So either way I'd probably just nod, agree (or, maybe just breezily say "Oh, I don't know...nice to meet you though!") and the person would not necessarily have gotten any closer to the truth. It's IMO an odd and uncomfortable thing to ask anybody, but especially a stranger. You won't be getting real answers, again IMO.
Also, as for how people see you - you can't change that, so...? When I was about 80 lbs. overweight and my husband was at least 100 lbs. overweight, he totally saw me as fat and him as just a little big or whatever. In fact, he saw us this way - him okay, me fat - when I weighed 130 in early pregnancy and he was already a good 60+ pounds overweight. I could not have changed his self-assessment or his criticisms of others (in this case, me) for anything. People see what they want to see, are conditioned to see, or are fooling themselves into seeing so you're just never going to get what you want out of people by asking them questions like that...and...it's a little intrusive.
Sorry. 
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