Are you a narcissistic person?

Dazzler21
Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
edited November 18 in Chit-Chat
A few years ago I went through an extremely narcissistic phase where I lost weight, loved selfies, looked damn sexy and was generally happy so long as I was getting attention...

These days, i'm almost the polar opposite. I'm still in okay shape, hate selfies, potentially still sexy :lol: and generally happy, though I miss being cut, fast and getting all the good kinds of attention?

Does this make me a self loathing narcissist?
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Replies

  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Narcissism is VERY unattractive. I understand wanting to look your very best and enjoying some attention. You can do that and still NOT be a narcissist. Humility is WAY more attractive than being arrogant and full of yourself. That's just my 2 cents.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Do you deem a lot about yourself through the validation others gives you? Answer this question and you have your answer.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,982 Member
    In my 20's yes. Lol, came with the territory as a body builder. Today, not so much. I just want to feel well at my age.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    I wouldn't say that I am so much a narcissist, as just a ridiculously selfish and self-centered person...so half of a psychological narcissist, I guess.
  • gamerbabe14
    gamerbabe14 Posts: 876 Member
    From my POV, everyone is narcissistic. It's necessary for survival.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    Only when its about me, which it almost inevitably is....because i'm awesome.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    edited May 2017
    i cant tell from your profile photo

    That was what I thought was my narcissistic days on the left (I had dropped from 26.5%BF to 7% and was proud) and more presently at about 22% on the right.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Do you deem a lot about yourself through the validation others gives you? Answer this question and you have your answer.

    Doesn't everyone worry about others thoughts?
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    edited May 2017
    I think I'm pretty awesome. And I don't care if anyone disagrees. That might qualify me as a narcissist but I've spent many years on the other side of the fence hating myself so if that's what people want to think then by all means do so. Loving yourself is healthy.

    I think this is my problem... Knowing the difference between loving oneself and the fruits of labour OR being a narcissist. I don't think I'm arrogant or full of myself because I see all my flaws and there are many so maybe I'm just a little lost in what I was then to where I am now.

    I don't think having taken the time away to read up Narcissistic Personality Syndrome that it was necessarily narcissism... More just proud of my hard works results.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    If I had an amazing body, was hung or skilled like a porn star, rich or successful, or famous like a rock star I would totally be a d-bag narcissist. I believe that my blessing for better humility and being able to focus on other people beside myself is being the epitome of average in all regards. Happily so...
  • cahubbard6421
    cahubbard6421 Posts: 769 Member
    We all are attention hos. Why else be on this site. Duh.
    ^^^^shes right you know
    From my POV, everyone is narcissistic. It's necessary for survival.
    ^^^^don't necessarily agree but if you don't think you're a badass why try?
  • BedsideTableKangaroo
    BedsideTableKangaroo Posts: 736 Member

    up to this point, i've never started a thread on chit-chat about my qualities. so, no, not yet. but i'm working on it.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    We all are attention hos. Why else be on this site. Duh.

    I can't tell if you're joking, but I kind of agree with this.

    I mean, look at how many posts are in the selfie thread. I don't care what anyone says, if you post in there you want attention. I think there's nothing wrong with that, obviously, since I've posted in there before, but come on. If you post something of yourself anywhere you want attention from it.

    I realize that doesn't make any of us full-blown narcissists who get gratification from their own appearance, but I do think more of us (than a lot of us would care to admit) are vain attention-seekers.

    I was only partially joking. Some call it motivation some call it attention, but even closing your diary for the day is an attention seeking act. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. But if it was just for yourself, you wouldn't even close it.
    Attention is a good motivator for most people.
  • BaddS4
    BaddS4 Posts: 302 Member
    Everyone likes getting attention.. Be proud of what you accomplish, and sometimes you just gotta flaunt it!!! I love it when I get dressed up in a nice suit and head out to dinner or a function.. Makes ya feel good about yourself!!! :smile: (I feel kinda James Bond-ish) lol
  • cdkelly
    cdkelly Posts: 101 Member
    Contrary to popular belief, true narcissists have a lack of self love. Which is why they need the attention from others so much. It's the opposite of codependent, which interestingly enough is also someone with a lack of self love...just a different coping mechanism. I'm definitely more on the codepdent side of the bar. Which most people think means you aren't independent...which is absolutely not true. You are actually usually more independent. The difference is codependents GIVE to feel important and narcissists TAKE to feel important. Ideally we should be able to love ourselves and fit somewhere in the middle of those two.

    Talking about taking selfies and caring about how you look...I don't think that equals narcissistic. Maybe vain...but who isn't lol
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    What you're describing is run-of-the-mill vanity. It's often transitory and situational. Narcissism is related to personality disorder. It's deeper, darker and almost always a permanent fixture in the character.

    This is more or less what I was going to say, but you said it so clearly. You and I can be friends.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Nobody can win this game. If I told you the unselfish thing I'd done, I'd be telling you for the sole purpose of getting "credit" for it, thereby negating its totally unselfish motivation.

    :p
  • gianna42
    gianna42 Posts: 5,991 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.

    ^^ This, as well as raising children. The things I have done and do for them is not for self reward or self satisfaction, but for their good and well-being.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    JeepHair77 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Nobody can win this game. If I told you the unselfish thing I'd done, I'd be telling you for the sole purpose of getting "credit" for it, thereby negating its totally unselfish motivation.

    :p


    This is more or less what I was going to say, but you said it so clearly. You and I can be friends.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    gianna42 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.

    ^^ This, as well as raising children. The things I have done and do for them is not for self reward or self satisfaction, but for their good and well-being.

    Totally. Every single day I do something that is not for me at all. In fact, I hardly do anything for self reward and sometimes I upset myself because I'm always last on the list of priorities.
  • cdkelly
    cdkelly Posts: 101 Member
    For me raising my children is the biggest reward and pay off I've experienced! It's not solely out of responsibility for me...i truly enjoy and love every part of it and find it extremely rewarding. That's not being selfish...but it's still a pay off. Not sure why people think the pay off is a bad thing. It's not. It's being human and the very thing that motivates us to do what we do and progress and evolve as humans.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    MeganAM89 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.

    I think that it can be unselfish for sure, but you still feel good about having volunteered, and that's part of the reason you do it.

    Feeling good about what you've done isn't inherently bad, but you can't deny that if you give $5.00 to a homeless man, pay for a coffee for the person in line behind you, or spend the day planting trees, all of that makes you feel good about yourself.

    I have to disagree. It's not part of the reason I do it at all. If its in my heart to help someone, I'll help and not expect anything in return, not even a good feeling. It's not about me.
  • DasItMan91
    DasItMan91 Posts: 5,753 Member
    Everybody wants attention ESPECIALLY females. Females, no matter how ugly they are or insecure, crave it. With a hot woman.....we all know her ego is gonna be sky high. If you're hitting your goals and are either leaner/ripped or muscular, you want a way to show that off. That's why I wear clothes that show off that I lift. I don't wear baggy clothes anymore like I did in hs/early college days. Everybody likes to feel good about themselves.
    BaddS4 wrote: »
    Everyone likes getting attention.. Be proud of what you accomplish, and sometimes you just gotta flaunt it!!! I love it when I get dressed up in a nice suit and head out to dinner or a function.. Makes ya feel good about yourself!!! :smile: (I feel kinda James Bond-ish) lol
    cdkelly wrote: »
    Contrary to popular belief, true narcissists have a lack of self love. Which is why they need the attention from others so much. It's the opposite of codependent, which interestingly enough is also someone with a lack of self love...just a different coping mechanism. I'm definitely more on the codepdent side of the bar. Which most people think means you aren't independent...which is absolutely not true. You are actually usually more independent. The difference is codependents GIVE to feel important and narcissists TAKE to feel important. Ideally we should be able to love ourselves and fit somewhere in the middle of those two.

    Talking about taking selfies and caring about how you look...I don't think that equals narcissistic. Maybe vain...but who isn't lol

    These
  • BedsideTableKangaroo
    BedsideTableKangaroo Posts: 736 Member
    DasItMan91 wrote: »
    Everybody wants attention ESPECIALLY females. Females, no matter how ugly they are or insecure, crave it. With a hot woman.....we all know her ego is gonna be sky high.

    wow. a bit too much overgeneralization here.

  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.

    Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.

    If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.

    I got a kick out of this. It reminded me of the Friends episode where Phoebe tried to show Joey there is such a thing as a selfless good deed.
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