Are you a narcissistic person?
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.
Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.
If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
I think that it can be unselfish for sure, but you still feel good about having volunteered, and that's part of the reason you do it.
Feeling good about what you've done isn't inherently bad, but you can't deny that if you give $5.00 to a homeless man, pay for a coffee for the person in line behind you, or spend the day planting trees, all of that makes you feel good about yourself.
I have to disagree. It's not part of the reason I do it at all. If its in my heart to help someone, I'll help and not expect anything in return, not even a good feeling. It's not about me.
So you've never felt good about yourself for doing volunteer work? You just pack it in for the day and think, "well, I feel meh about what I've just done."
Not only volunteer work but there are selfless things that I've done just because I care. I don't focus on how it feels to me. I guess it feels okay but I never think once to pat myself on the back. For example before my mom died she was bedridden and did EVERYTHING on herself. Did I feel good about cleaning it up? Not necessarily, but I did it anyway. I don't recall going back home and thinking "boy do I feel great about cleaning up a grown ups soiled bed and diaper". It's just something I did for absolutely NO self reward AT ALL.2 -
TheRoadDog wrote: »Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.
Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.
If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
I think that it can be unselfish for sure, but you still feel good about having volunteered, and that's part of the reason you do it.
Feeling good about what you've done isn't inherently bad, but you can't deny that if you give $5.00 to a homeless man, pay for a coffee for the person in line behind you, or spend the day planting trees, all of that makes you feel good about yourself.
I have to disagree. It's not part of the reason I do it at all. If its in my heart to help someone, I'll help and not expect anything in return, not even a good feeling. It's not about me.
Well, you're an anomaly, then.
Yeah I'm not quite normal.
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BedsideTableKangaroo wrote: »DasItMan91 wrote: »Everybody wants attention ESPECIALLY females. Females, no matter how ugly they are or insecure, crave it. With a hot woman.....we all know her ego is gonna be sky high.
wow. a bit too much overgeneralization here.
It's the truth, women want attention.1 -
In all seriousness, yeah, I do some volunteer and pro bono work, but I can't claim that it's 100% selfless. I do get benefits from it, and I pick and choose my causes based on my personal priorities. So there's definitely some self-motivation there, and I don't think that's a bad thing.
Parenting? Same deal - I get a ton of benefits from parenting. My kids make me happy. Individual activities involved in parenting them aren't necessarily rewarding, so no, I'm not like "Yay! I get to break up another argument over the same stupid iPhone charger!!!" But in the big picture, I love my kids, I love the people they're becoming, so parenting is HUGELY rewarding for me. I can't claim that's "selfless."
We're probably just talking in circles, here, anyway.0 -
DasItMan91 wrote: »BedsideTableKangaroo wrote: »DasItMan91 wrote: »Everybody wants attention ESPECIALLY females. Females, no matter how ugly they are or insecure, crave it. With a hot woman.....we all know her ego is gonna be sky high.
wow. a bit too much overgeneralization here.
It's the truth, women want attention.
i'm gonna guess 91 in your username is your birth year, and you've been burned by women a few times.
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.
Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.
If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
I do lots of volunteer work. I commend you for it. However, isn't one of the reasons you do it because of the good feeling it gives you? IKnowing you are doing the right thing and helping others?0 -
TheRoadDog wrote: »TheRoadDog wrote: »Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.
Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.
If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
I do lots of volunteer work. I commend you for it. However, isn't one of the reasons you do it because of the good feeling it gives you? IKnowing you are doing the right thing and helping others?
Nope not necessarily. Already addressed this same point.0 -
*kitten* yes.0
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TheRoadDog wrote: »TheRoadDog wrote: »Very few people do anything for a totally unselfish reason. Think about it.
Almost everything I (and others) do is for a self reward.
If you can name something you do that is totally unselfish, I'd love to hear about it.
Really? I gather you've never done any volunteer work. There are TONS of things you can do unselfishly.
I do lots of volunteer work. I commend you for it. However, isn't one of the reasons you do it because of the good feeling it gives you? IKnowing you are doing the right thing and helping others?
Nope not necessarily. Already addressed this same point.
I saw that after I had already responded. Didn't mean to beat a dead horse. Sorry. I guess you are unique.
I know I go out of my way to treat my wife the way I do, but it all comes back to me positively by her appreciation and the way she treats me and feels about me. That's not why I do it, but it's still a positive feedback that I am aware of, just as you know the positive changes you have made in other people's lives. That's all I'm saying.1 -
I'm not narcisistic....i'm perfect!
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DasItMan91 wrote: »Everybody wants attention ESPECIALLY females. Females, no matter how ugly they are or insecure, crave it. With a hot woman.....we all know her ego is gonna be sky high. If you're hitting your goals and are either leaner/ripped or muscular, you want a way to show that off. That's why I wear clothes that show off that I lift. I don't wear baggy clothes anymore like I did in hs/early college days. Everybody likes to feel good about themselves.Everyone likes getting attention.. Be proud of what you accomplish, and sometimes you just gotta flaunt it!!! I love it when I get dressed up in a nice suit and head out to dinner or a function.. Makes ya feel good about yourself!!!
(I feel kinda James Bond-ish) lolContrary to popular belief, true narcissists have a lack of self love. Which is why they need the attention from others so much. It's the opposite of codependent, which interestingly enough is also someone with a lack of self love...just a different coping mechanism. I'm definitely more on the codepdent side of the bar. Which most people think means you aren't independent...which is absolutely not true. You are actually usually more independent. The difference is codependents GIVE to feel important and narcissists TAKE to feel important. Ideally we should be able to love ourselves and fit somewhere in the middle of those two.
Talking about taking selfies and caring about how you look...I don't think that equals narcissistic. Maybe vain...but who isn't lol
These
Don't start writing a book on females just yet bud.1 -
If you are defining narcissistic behavior as getting fulfillment/happiness from large amounts of attention then no I am not. I feel uncomfortable with attention/praise. I don't really seek it out.
I do have some selfishness and pride of course.
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