How is it so easy for so many people to eat less?

AniaMania81

I need help. I'm starting to think that I will never be able to lose weight. I've been trying to lose about three years now but it's not working. I lose a pound and quickly gain it back. I can't seem to stick to eating less, I will do it for one or two days at a time (three for the most) and then I get hungry and eat too much. I started off wanting to lose 25 pounds three years ago and since then I have gained another 30 pounds. I am 5'9" and currently 215 pounds and need to get to 160.

I think my maintenance is about 2250 but I normally eat about 2500 so that is what my body is used to. I try reducing to between 1750 and 2000 and to exercise consistently. I'll make it a few days and then feel crazy hungry and overeat again. I tried IF 16:8 and that helped a lot but again, hard to stick to.

On average I eat probably 100 to 120 grams of protein, maybe 100 grams of fat and about 300 grams of carbs. I know it's a lot. I normally exercise about twice a week and with this I gain about a pound a month.

I eat healthy foods everyday - fruit and vegetables, a variety of meat (not processed), beans, oatmeal etc but I eat a lot of unhealthy, high calorie foods too.

Anyone else experienced this and overcame it? I would really appreciate and welcome all thoughts and advice. Thanks for reading.

cndkendrick

I really think its all mental.
If you think it, then you believe it.
Also, they may really listen to their body.

sosteach

It is mental...you have to be ok with being hungry until your body gets use to eating less. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and fat...but not until I was 100 pounds overweight. I am now 27 down and I am going to do this.

cmriverside

When I started losing weight on this site I was at just about the same height/weight.

I just started logging food every day. I studied my Food Diary every day and tried to make changes. It didn't come easy and it didn't happen all at once. I made some changes and refused/stamped my feet and whined at others.

I just stuck to it. Some days I stayed with my 1300, some days I ate 2300. It's not easy to break bad habits, and it is often two steps forward, one step back.

Just keep swimming.

bbell1985

I don't like to eat "less", so I practice volumetrics. I like huge servings of lower calorie options. Also, lots of protein. I eat more than you and weigh 140ish lbs.

wefts

preaching to the choir if I am not logging I tend to over eat , not even junk food I can do serious damage with Meat and veg and fruit. so I am logging and trying hard my extra weight took a few years to gain so I am aiming to try to drop 50-70 over a year or 2 I started at 226 and I am to about 218 now so my first goal is get back below 200 If I can get that done I will be more comfortable . at least my jeans fit a little better with the few lbs I have dropped
I am concentrating on high nutrition low calorie foods

cmriverside

p.s. I lost 70 pounds and I've kept it off for ten years.

soccerjerseyguy

the 300g of carbs is killing you. Lower the carbs and raise the fat and protein. Eat higher volume low calorie foods. When it's important enough to you, you will be able to overcome this issue.

When I fought this issue I just introduced cheese and nuts. A handful (weighed, of course) when I'm getting hungry. Ice water too. This tactic may help you a lot, it did me.

vivelajackie

A lot of it is mental. If you're used to eating more then there may be some habits there that are more persistent. I drink plenty of water, especially in between meals when I'm working and can't eat. Thirst and hunger are similar feelings.

If you can, plan in snacks between meals. Fats, fiber, and protein help you stay satiated longer. I also have gotten to the point where it's not the end of the world if I'm hungry from time to time. I used to just eat whenever I got the slightest twinge of hunger, and it was mostly boredom...

HoustonStrongMT

Log it in MFP BEFORE you eat it - makes you take a second to think about whether you want it. What really helps me is a paleo type diet - those whole unprocessed foods aren't junk and take a lot longer to break down so I'm not hungry like I was when on weight watchers or eating low calorie but empty calorie foods. I also don't crave sugar and junk. Maybe worth a try.

kimothy38

For me it's a mental game. If I listen to my body and eat when physically hungry and eat till I'm not hungry (not full) then I find it easy to do. I do 5:2 fasting and find the day after fasting my stomach has shrunk so much that it doesn't take much to fill me up. When stressed though I eat emotionally and it's much much harder.

MoiAussi93

Are you actually hungry, or do you just want to eat? Because they are two different issues and I would have different advice depending on which it is.

If you are actually hungry, you really should consider changing WHAT you eat. 300 grams of carbs is a lot. If you reduce that, and add a little more protein and fat, it might help you feel fuller longer. It works for me, and for many people. Cut some of the unhealthy, high calorie foods....or only have them once or twice a week...that is the easy change to make. Start bringing the calories down gradually so it doesn't feel so drastic. Try 2250 for a week or 2, then being it down to 2000. Stay there until you can handle that, then bring it down a little more.

Some other things that helped me were to drink a lot of water between meals. It is good for you and, very importantly, will help keep you from feeling as hungry. Also, if you notice that you get hungry at a specific time of day (late afternoon, evening, whatever) try eating a little less during other parts of the day so you can eat a little more when you tend to be hungriest. Keep busy...if you are occupied you will be less likely to focus on food.

MoiAussi93

If IF helped, try to give that another try. If you can stick to it most of the time, gradually it will become easier to stick to it all of the time. It's all trial and error...keep trying things to see what works for you. If you have a bad day...or a few...just get back on course and put it behind you.

broncobuddee

The hunger thing has been my downfall in all of my past attempts. My doctor slowly edged my carbs down to under a hundred over the course of a few weeks (with protein > 130 and fat > 85) and I haven't been hungry in four months. I don't necessarily suggest that is the entire solution but I have seen and heard people here on MFP say that finding their own macro balance was key to keeping hunger at bay.

jenniferinfl

AniaMania81 wrote: »

I need help. I'm starting to think that I will never be able to lose weight. I've been trying to lose about three years now but it's not working. I lose a pound and quickly gain it back. I can't seem to stick to eating less, I will do it for one or two days at a time (three for the most) and then I get hungry and eat too much. I started off wanting to lose 25 pounds three years ago and since then I have gained another 30 pounds. I am 5'9" and currently 215 pounds and need to get to 160.

I think my maintenance is about 2250 but I normally eat about 2500 so that is what my body is used to. I try reducing to between 1750 and 2000 and to exercise consistently. I'll make it a few days and then feel crazy hungry and overeat again. I tried IF 16:8 and that helped a lot but again, hard to stick to.

On average I eat probably 100 to 120 grams of protein, maybe 100 grams of fat and about 300 grams of carbs. I know it's a lot. I normally exercise about twice a week and with this I gain about a pound a month.

I eat healthy foods everyday - fruit and vegetables, a variety of meat (not processed), beans, oatmeal etc but I eat a lot of unhealthy, high calorie foods too.

Anyone else experienced this and overcame it? I would really appreciate and welcome all thoughts and advice. Thanks for reading.

What if you tried for an even smaller deficit? Something you know you could do for a month? Because, if you could do it for a month, then you could use a site like trendweight to help you figure out what your actual TDEE is. You can use all the calculators you want, people vary. Even people of the same age, weight, height and so on can burn different amounts of calories doing the exact same activity.

I always thought I was sedentary because I have an office job. My husband bought me a fitbit as an early anniversary present and I found out I was active. It just utterly surprised me, I mean, I knew that I paced around a lot, but, you know, when you've spent a lot of your life big, you are used to thinking that your lazy.

I weigh around 230 now and because I'm active I have around a 750 calorie deficit (that's a fairly large deficit) on 2300 calories per day and I'm only 5' 6".

Now, most people do tend to overestimate their activity and underestimate their intake, but, that isn't always the case.

What if you just tried what you believe your maintenance is? Just log everything you eat, add a bit of activity and stay around 2250 per day for a month and see what happens?

What has sabotaged me over and over again is trying to diet on too few calories. It just destroys your resolve. It's like, starve starve, binge, starve starve, binge just doesn't work. Even a small deficit can make a big difference if you can stick with it for the long term.

JeromeBarry1

I suggest you make your food diary publicly viewable. When you ask for help, sharing that information is the key.

pkfw88

I greatly dislike when people say it's all mental. That is one of the most frustrating things to hear. Yeah it's mental but it's not simple, and you are basically powerless when all your body and mind are telling you to do is eat. I am/was a slave to food, I think about it all day and it takes all the willpower in me to do what's healthy for my body, it's painful. The only thing that has truly helped me is being able to change that addiction by taking medication. I started taking wellbutrin for depression and finally understood what it felt like to eat like a normal person and not obsess over food, and it was a glorious feeling! A feeling that also made me feel like I have no control over my thoughts, sadness, happiness, hunger, energy levels. It is good and bad, because it won't last forever so I have to figure out how to make healthy habits while I have the willpower so once that goes away I have a safety net. Wellbutrin started working less and less for the hunger, so I started taking contrave which is a prescribed weight loss drug that has Wellbutrin in it. For now I'm riding the wave and feeling like I have this under control, but I'm just waiting for the day that it will stop working and I will fall down again.

Luna3386

I, too, have been doing this for a long time. It's been 5 years. I'm down 60 with 20-40 to go.

What has helped me is a small deficit. Honestly? I would eat what you are eating and exercise. Not decrease calories and exercise. Obviously, what you are doing isn't sustainable, otherwise it would have worked. That's why you end up quitting.

I also have taken lots of breaks.

Poisonedpawn78

pkfw88 wrote: »

I greatly dislike when people say it's all mental. That is one of the most frustrating things to hear. Yeah it's mental but it's not simple, and you are basically powerless when all your body and mind are telling you to do is eat. I am/was a slave to food, I think about it all day and it takes all the willpower in me to do what's healthy for my body, it's painful. The only thing that has truly helped me is being able to change that addiction by taking medication. I started taking wellbutrin for depression and finally understood what it felt like to eat like a normal person and not obsess over food, and it was a glorious feeling! A feeling that also made me feel like I have no control over my thoughts, sadness, happiness, hunger, energy levels. It is good and bad, because it won't last forever so I have to figure out how to make healthy habits while I have the willpower so once that goes away I have a safety net. Wellbutrin started working less and less for the hunger, so I started taking contrave which is a prescribed weight loss drug that has Wellbutrin in it. For now I'm riding the wave and feeling like I have this under control, but I'm just waiting for the day that it will stop working and I will fall down again.

For me, I just mentally hit the point where I decided I am not going to let my body/cravings/stomach rule the land anymore. I dont care how bad the craving gets and how hungry I feel. I am going to rule this body once again. It sucked at first, but has been getting easier as I go.

kavahni

How do they do it? They are cyborgs.

I don't get it either. Anyone who can blithely say, "log it!" or "it's all mental!" Doesn't understand the complexities of what you and I suffer from. And what so many other people suffer from. I don't understand how other people do it either. The thought of setting up a program that I'm only going to be on for a month is beyond my comprehension. If I could set up the program that I'm only going to be on for the next five minutes I'd be doing pretty well.

I come from a family of compulsive over eaters. I was always "the skinny one." Even so, in the last 10 years I've gotten up to about 50 pounds over my ideal weight, 40 over a realistic weight, and 30 pounds over an actually maintainable weight. Aging does not help! I am, however, currently on a very slow and not so deliberate weight loss. As much as I would love to drop 2 pounds a week, it just ain't going to happen. (Or, if I could just drop 10 pounds really really fast, so I'd feel like I was accomplishing something, and then just start losing weight really slowly but steadily… Yeah, right). The reality in my life is that I eat really well all day. I eat very reasonable and a satisfying amounts of high-quality homemade food. And then in the evening it all falls apart.

Four months ago I decided simply to log every damn thing I put in my mouth and not be concerned about what it meant. All I wanted to do was to see how many calories am I putting in my body every day, and where they are all coming from. I didn't have any expectations about meeting any particular goal. I set a calorie level that I thought was reasonable, and then just saw where my actual eating stood in relation to that number. Some days I was 200 cal under and some days I was 1000 cal over. I joined every challenge that came up that was sponsored by a commercial entity – – not the challenges on the community board – – not so much for the possibility of winning something, but more so that it was an extra incentive to look at that and at least want to log my food every day. It was a pretty gentle and low-pressure start.

After about three months of that, I decided to apply myself a little bit more seriously. I still don't hit my calorie goal every day, that is, I overshoot it nearly every day, but something is happening very slowly, and I am not sure what it is. But I think that just doing that logging of every single thing that went in my mouth for several months without any expectation of losing any weight really helped me change something. Something I can't quantify or qualify. I think the bottom line for people like us is just being gentle with ourselves. I wish I had something more substantial to give you but I completely understand where you are coming from.

Blessings.

CaliMomTeach

Stick with it no matter what for 5 weeks. Don't weigh yourself for those five weeks. Seeing how much you lose will motivate you to continue. You'll get used to fewer calories. It just takes a couple of weeks or so.

Poisonedpawn78

kavahni wrote: »

How do they do it? They are cyborgs. I don't get it either. Anyone who can blithely say, "log it!" or "it's all mental!" Doesn't understand the complexities of what you and I suffer from. And what so many other people suffer from.

I dont know if this happens to you, but for me when i go grocery shopping, that junk pop/chip/candy isle calls out to me constantly. I would try and avoid the isle but In the past i would cave and go get something every time. For every healthy choice i made, i would say, i could totally get a pop or some chips too.. we all know how that ends.

The last 2 months I have gone to the isle and stared at every single thing that i wanted and mentally said to myself. I love you, but i will NOT buy you today. Forcing myself to stare "the devil" down.

everher

Here's my advice:

1. Just log everything you eat for a week or two. Consistently and honestly. Weigh your solids and measure your liquids. After logging your food becomes second nature move on to step two.

2. Enter your stats into MyFitnessPal. Set a low goal. I wouldn't start with more than a pound a week loss, which is 500 calories less than your body needs a day to maintain its weight. I say start with a pound and not half a pound a week loss because this gives you some room for logging errors and some overeating, but still the ability to lose weight even if it's small at first.

3. Look back at your diet from the past week or two and see where you can make changes or substitutions. The goal is to get the most bang for your buck so to speak. If you're using up a third of your day's calories on sweets for example of course you're going to be hungry. You want to figure out how to stay within your calories, but while also hitting your macro goals. This will likely mean changing some things.

4. This isn't a linear process. It's most likely going to take some experimentation, but that's okay. Maybe eating several smaller meals a day will help you with hunger or maybe the key is eating three larger meals but allowing rooms for snacks. You might find that meal timing helps you also or saving most of your calories for the afternoon. You'll most likely have to experiment with your macros too to find what really fills you up and keeps you satisfied.

5. You will be hungry at first. I am not going to lie to you. I have been on many a diet in my lifetime and every time I first start eating in a calorie deficit I am hungry. It usually passes after the first week or so. It's not extreme hungry or unbearable, but it is a noticeable thing that I have always experienced at the onset of a diet. The good news is it does pass and being hungry is totally okay. Being extremely hungry and it not going away is likely the result of eating too little or a change in macros or meal timing needing to be made.

Just know if you keep going despite the bad days, and you will have bad days, eventually you will make it to your goal. My last piece of advice is don't try to change everything at once. I would focus on getting my eating under control before adding exercise to the mix. Just focus on one thing at a time.

SafioraLinnea

It's not easy. It's very hard but I am committed to my health so I do it in spite of it being hard.

I will keep my suggestions short and sweet and to the point.

Ensure your TDEE calculations and modifiers are accurate.

Set a reasonable goal. Even 150 calories below your TDEE will result in changes over time. Small changes can lead to big results if you stay committed.

Pre-log your food to prevent going over your calories. Log honestly and accurately, measuring food with a food scale.

Exercise. Unless you're a quadriplegic, you can exercise your body.

Practice confident self talk: I can do this. I am worth it. I am strong.

ninerbuff

AniaMania81 wrote: »

I need help. I'm starting to think that I will never be able to lose weight. I've been trying to lose about three years now but it's not working. I lose a pound and quickly gain it back. I can't seem to stick to eating less, I will do it for one or two days at a time (three for the most) and then I get hungry and eat too much. I started off wanting to lose 25 pounds three years ago and since then I have gained another 30 pounds. I am 5'9" and currently 215 pounds and need to get to 160.

I think my maintenance is about 2250 but I normally eat about 2500 so that is what my body is used to. I try reducing to between 1750 and 2000 and to exercise consistently. I'll make it a few days and then feel crazy hungry and overeat again. I tried IF 16:8 and that helped a lot but again, hard to stick to.

On average I eat probably 100 to 120 grams of protein, maybe 100 grams of fat and about 300 grams of carbs. I know it's a lot. I normally exercise about twice a week and with this I gain about a pound a month.

I eat healthy foods everyday - fruit and vegetables, a variety of meat (not processed), beans, oatmeal etc but I eat a lot of unhealthy, high calorie foods too.

Anyone else experienced this and overcame it? I would really appreciate and welcome all thoughts and advice. Thanks for reading.

Habitual behavior takes more than a week to learn. And that's what you have to do and what people who eat less do........................change their habitual behavior. So how bad do you really want it? If you could earn $10,000 to do it for a month, would you? And if the answer is yes, then you just need to find the motivation within yourself to decide to do it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

kommodevaran

I think a lot of it is about how you frame it, how you choose to understand things and words, how you structure your life and surroundings.

For me, eating less is easy in some ways, but hard in other ways. Adjustments to my schedule and home environment makes eating less easier, but it still takes effort and commitment. I plan my meals, and I shop guerilla style, I cook most of my meals from relative scratch. I still have to say no. I still eat more than intended occasionally. The big difference is that I own it now. I eat for pleasure, not to ease emotions or because I'm bored, or just because there's food around. I don't continue to overeat just because I overate. I don't let others tell me what to eat, I decide what I want to eat and eat that.

I don't eat so little that it makes me hungry. But I do accept hunger as normal, natural, a reminder to eat. I like to wait until I'm really ready for a good meal, and then enjoy it.

I accept that temptations exist. I acknowledge that my body needs fuel, and that my brain is programmed to seek out easy calories. I acknowledge that food manufacturerers' job is to sell food, and thus will make an effort to make food tempting and available, and are using (exploiting) our natural instincts. But I also acknowledge that it's my job to feed myself properly, and that I am capable of making my own decisions, independently. I am offered food, intently, but not forced to eat. It's is a big difference there.

I have struggled with overeating, overweight and fear of food and weight for 20 years. Now I've finally lost my excess weight (50 pounds) and I've kept them off for 2 1/2 years. The way I'm eating and moving now, is something I think I can continue doing forever, at least I want to. I am eating, moving, thinking and feeling like a normal weight person. I have lost weight before, but I kept the overweight mindset. This is different. It doesn't feel like much, but normal doesn't feel like much either.

amusedmonkey

If you're wanting it to be completely effortless, you need to adjust your expectations. People can make things easiER for themselves by discovering their own food quirks and satiety, but it's never effortless. Some days we feel hungry, some days we don't, some days we give into cravings, other days we don't. Hunger isn't scary, and feeling stuffed to the brim 24/7 is not what you should expect. You just accept that there will be challenges to your plan, be it internal (hunger and rationalizations) or external (temptations and triggers). You accept this will always be the case, and that it's normal to feel hungry/tempted sometimes. You just need to make more calorie decisions that push your weight in the right direction than decisions that push it in the opposite direction, while continually learning about yourself, and you will eventually get where you want to be.

nutmegoreo

everher wrote: »

Here's my advice:

1. Just log everything you eat for a week or two. Consistently and honestly. Weigh your solids and measure your liquids. After logging your food becomes second nature move on to step two.

2. Enter your stats into MyFitnessPal. Set a low goal. I wouldn't start with more than a pound a week loss, which is 500 calories less than your body needs a day to maintain its weight. I say start with a pound and not half a pound a week loss because this gives you some room for logging errors and some overeating, but still the ability to lose weight even if it's small at first.

3. Look back at your diet from the past week or two and see where you can make changes or substitutions. The goal is to get the most bang for your buck so to speak. If you're using up a third of your day's calories on sweets for example of course you're going to be hungry. You want to figure out how to stay within your calories, but while also hitting your macro goals. This will likely mean changing some things.

4. This isn't a linear process. It's most likely going to take some experimentation, but that's okay. Maybe eating several smaller meals a day will help you with hunger or maybe the key is eating three larger meals but allowing rooms for snacks. You might find that meal timing helps you also or saving most of your calories for the afternoon. You'll most likely have to experiment with your macros too to find what really fills you up and keeps you satisfied.

5. You will be hungry at first. I am not going to lie to you. I have been on many a diet in my lifetime and every time I first start eating in a calorie deficit I am hungry. It usually passes after the first week or so. It's not extreme hungry or unbearable, but it is a noticeable thing that I have always experienced at the onset of a diet. The good news is it does pass and being hungry is totally okay. Being extremely hungry and it not going away is likely the result of eating too little or a change in macros or meal timing needing to be made.

Just know if you keep going despite the bad days, and you will have bad days, eventually you will make it to your goal. My last piece of advice is don't try to change everything at once. I would focus on getting my eating under control before adding exercise to the mix. Just focus on one thing at a time.

This^^^

And for those who are discussing the "it's all mental" responses, that doesn't negate the complexity of it. If anything it highlights how complex it is. There are many deep seated beliefs we hold about foods, diets, and what's right or wrong. Challenging those concepts is an uncomfortable process. When I first had a change in my viewpoint was when I threw out everything I thought I knew about losing weight. It's still a challenge because life happens, stress happens. But I no longer beat myself up for eating ice cream. It's ridiculous. This whole process is hard enough without making it worse by placing all these unecessary rules in it. Can't eat this, must eat that, must do this, can't do that.... just adds stress.

OP, just start with logging and see what you find. You might be surprised. Log the good, the bad, and the ugly. Own it and evaluate it, then make small changes. It will suck sometimes and you will be hungry sometimes. You will learn a lot about yourself along the way, which is progress.

Etsar73

For me l don't like breakfast so l just have a coffee. Lunch is rice thins with tuna. I keep it the same everyday. I don't love lunch but it satisfies me through the day. Dinner for me HAS to be good. I use minimal oil and less meat and more veggies to bulk but l eat whatever l want. I like dinner to be huge!! I would be sad and hungry at the thought of a small dinner. Maybe make one meal your focus big meal. Keep the rest small and simple. This is the only way l could get through this keeping calories down.

nutmegoreo

Also, just because you don't see the struggles, doesn't mean others find it easy. They may just be choosing to not voice their frustrations. Not saying that you shouldn't vent your frustrations, just that some won't so it seems like they aren't having issues.

Lounmoun

This is going to take time to make lasting changes. You will not be perfect everyday. If you go over calories one day then the next day try to do better. Look at your weekly calories as well as daily.
Go slower. If you normally eat 2,500 try reducing to 2,250 first. When you can stick to 2,250 for a couple of weeks then reduce to 2,000. When you can stick to 2,000 drop your calories to 1,750.

Get in the habit of logging everything. Notice your patterns. Look at your log and see what foods helped you and what foods made it more difficult to stick to your goals. What time of day do you get the hungriest? Reserve more calories for that time. Do you do okay on weekdays but lose it on weekends? Maybe more structure and routine on the weekends would be helpful.
Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat when you are bored? Work on different coping skills that are not food or drink.
Try prelogging your food for the whole day. Plan your eating and it may be easier to know what portion size is okay or to just say you don't want something because you have a plan.
Don't radically change your diet overnight. Make sure you get enough protein, fats and fiber to help you feel more satisfied.
Put more low calorie vegetables on your plate. Have a salad with your meal.
Cook more. Look up nutritional info for restaurants.
Don't buy foods you have trouble moderating as often or buy them in a single serving container.
Switch to lower calorie or no calorie drinks and have more calories for food.
If you have eaten to your goal and still want to eat then try drinking a glass of water or cup of unsweetened tea and waiting 20 minutes to see if the feeling goes away.
These are things people do.

Losing weight is work. How you lose is simple but the process takes a fair amount of effort for most of us. If you want to lose and maintain at a healthy weight you will eat fewer calories, get more exercise or do both. But you might have to start with smaller changes.