How is it so easy for so many people to eat less?
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How do they do it? They are cyborgs.
I don't get it either. Anyone who can blithely say, "log it!" or "it's all mental!" Doesn't understand the complexities of what you and I suffer from. And what so many other people suffer from. I don't understand how other people do it either. The thought of setting up a program that I'm only going to be on for a month is beyond my comprehension. If I could set up the program that I'm only going to be on for the next five minutes I'd be doing pretty well.
I come from a family of compulsive over eaters. I was always "the skinny one." Even so, in the last 10 years I've gotten up to about 50 pounds over my ideal weight, 40 over a realistic weight, and 30 pounds over an actually maintainable weight. Aging does not help! I am, however, currently on a very slow and not so deliberate weight loss. As much as I would love to drop 2 pounds a week, it just ain't going to happen. (Or, if I could just drop 10 pounds really really fast, so I'd feel like I was accomplishing something, and then just start losing weight really slowly but steadily… Yeah, right). The reality in my life is that I eat really well all day. I eat very reasonable and a satisfying amounts of high-quality homemade food. And then in the evening it all falls apart.
Four months ago I decided simply to log every damn thing I put in my mouth and not be concerned about what it meant. All I wanted to do was to see how many calories am I putting in my body every day, and where they are all coming from. I didn't have any expectations about meeting any particular goal. I set a calorie level that I thought was reasonable, and then just saw where my actual eating stood in relation to that number. Some days I was 200 cal under and some days I was 1000 cal over. I joined every challenge that came up that was sponsored by a commercial entity – – not the challenges on the community board – – not so much for the possibility of winning something, but more so that it was an extra incentive to look at that and at least want to log my food every day. It was a pretty gentle and low-pressure start.
After about three months of that, I decided to apply myself a little bit more seriously. I still don't hit my calorie goal every day, that is, I overshoot it nearly every day, but something is happening very slowly, and I am not sure what it is. But I think that just doing that logging of every single thing that went in my mouth for several months without any expectation of losing any weight really helped me change something. Something I can't quantify or qualify. I think the bottom line for people like us is just being gentle with ourselves. I wish I had something more substantial to give you but I completely understand where you are coming from.
Blessings.
As a recovering eating disorder sufferer I can quite easily say "it's mental" while still understanding what people like you and the OP is going through. Just because many people say "it's mental" it doesn't mean it's not still complex. But a lot of it IS mental.
It's quite possible that the OP is a volume eater. If she's eating "less" but that has meant eating much small portions then yeah, that will mess with your head and you'll feel deprived. At high carbs but lower protein and fat she may have not found her right macro mix for satiety. So being a volume eater with tiny meals + not knowing your satisfying macros is a baaaaad mix for successful weightloss.
CICO is a very simple concept with a lot of nuances and tweaking for each individual to do it in a happy fulfilling way for them and I think that's what can put a hitch in people's journey, forgetting to experiment to find the best way for them. Taking "eat less" at face value instead of "eat fewer calories". And not realizing that "fewer calories" can easily equal a meal 3 times the size of what you used to eat if you take the time to play the low calorie/high volume puzzle game.
I'm a volume eater. Sometimes my meals look like they should be for 3 people lol but are surprisingly low on calories. I eat those when mentally I just need to see lots of food in front of me so that I don't feel deprived. If I start feeling deprived or guilty it leads me down a path to a bad scene. But what really helps get me through is learning and understanding what macro blends really full me up and make me feel satieted while within my calorie limit.
OP, do you enjoy cooking or baking. If you do, great! If not, now is a great time to learn how fun it can be. I LOVE chocolate. So I've been on this baking kick for finding the best low calorie high protein desserts. I've done cheesecake, 4 different mug cakes and homemade protein bars. I get to eat chocolate desserts almost every day because I'm doing it from scratch. And not a couple of squares of chocolate, but push the plate away before you're done because it's rich and omg.
These things are completely doable, it just takes practice and experimenting. Switch up your macros every day and take notes about which combinations make you feel better than others. Experiment with different types of whole foods for bulking out meals. Beans, chickpeas, spinach, mushrooms, bell peppers and egg whites are GREAT for bulking up meals.
If you feel a binge coming on schedule a day to eat at maintenance. Take control, don't just throw up your hands and pretend that there is nothing you can do about it because you went over your calories for the day. Eat at maintenance for a day or two and then once you've satisfied the need for those extra calories go back to your cut (deficit).
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Just remember to be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. But to also remind yourself that you're a bad@$$ and that you WILL fight to be your best self, however that looks to you.
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Simple, maybe, but not easy. Habit change is hard.
I suggest giving yourself weekly goals that are not weight related. Like skipping one evening snack a day for seven days. Once that becomes a habit, add another. Through it all log your food on MFP.
This will get you past the three day stall. Knowing that you have a weekly review coming up will help. It might also help to have an accountability partner. Get them to ask how well you did sticking to your goal.3 -
It definitely takes a bit for your body to get used to. A few tricks that help me:
- PLAN your days ahead of time. I'll usually plan what I'm eating for a whole day, the night before. That way lunch is already packed, so I won't be tempted to go to Wendy's. Similarly, if I know I am going to be hanging out with friends on a Saturday night (ie. pizza and drinks) I will be really careful about what I eat the rest of that day. Healthy, low calorie breakfast. Eat a salad before going out with friends, so you aren't AS hungry and maybe only eat one slice of pizza compared to three.
- Keep healthy snacks nearby at all times. In your car, in your desk, in your fridge. I really like those 50-cal low fat string cheese sticks, a cup of yogurt, or a granola bar. An apple or carrots & hummus make good, quick snacks too. ALLOW yourself these small snacks throughout the day - otherwise you will be starving and end up eating more at meal time, or you'll go buy a bag of chips.
- LIMIT salt & sugar. Both of these are crazy addictive; they keep you wanting more and just make you more hungry.
- Drink more WATER. Sometimes when you feel hungry, you are really just thirsty.
- Think about WHY you are eating. Is it because you are bored? Stressed? Hungry? If you are eating for hunger, then think about this - those "empty" calories from unhealthy foods really won't help your hunger! They won't give you any nutrients - your body knows this and you'll be left wanting more!
- Finally, losing weight and eating less is not "easy" for anyone. It's HARD WORK. Some days, it downright sucks ... but it IS possible and it IS worth it. Make small changes, and stick with it. Just like your body got used to eating lots of unhealthy calories, it will get used to eating healthier with time. Those cravings do ease up with time, especially if you stick with it, it will become easier and easier to WANT healthy food & go to the gym.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »It's not easy. People do it because its something important to them.
I agree with this too.
Someone I've known for years looked me up and down recently and said, "I'm jealous!"
I said, "Don't be. I'm hungry."
She's jealous of me because I'm much thinner than she is now, but she's unwilling to eat less and feel bad that way. I'm jealous of her because she can eat all the macaroons and lasagna she wants, but I'm unwilling to be big anymore and feel bad that way. Each of us feels either bad or good per our own choices. But neither way is scott-free.
All of this! People say I'm lucky, I can "lose so fast" Etc... My reality is that on any given day I have to say NO! No to the donuts at work, NO to the cupcake treat, no to the extra helping of spaghetti and garlic bread! And I have to measure my peanut butter which is so very sad. And I have been trying to lose these same 15 vanity pounds for 6 months and I've lost like 3. I'm "jealous" of the person who can eat PB out the jar!9 -
I was just thinking of a perception change that helped a lot. I got used to smaller portions overall. I pack half my restaurant meal for later. I used to eat half then, stomach grumbling, eat the second half. But now, that half a meal seems just right. Nearly all snack bars are around 200 calories. So if they are cut in half, I have an instant 100 calorie snack, which is plenty. But if I have a full bar in my purse, I'm eating the whole thing. So repackaging to appropriate portions helps a lot.6
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I'm a volume eater too. I need to eat until I get that uncomfortably full sensation otherwise I don't feel full.
A huge rainbow salad full of spinach, fresh veg, and maybe a bit of cheese/chicken/nuts and good fats usually forms the base for most of my meals.5 -
I just happened to think of a point from The Beck Diet Solution (cognitive behavioral therapy for weight loss, not a "diet" per se) that I thought was helpful. Don't stand around & graze if you normally have the habit of doing so. Sit down with *all* the food you plan on eating at that meal/snack in front of you and don't multi-task while you eat (mindfulness). That way your brain can appreciate how much you are eating and be satisfied as well as your stomach.4
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I just happened to think of a point from The Beck Diet Solution (cognitive behavioral therapy for weight loss, not a "diet" per se) that I thought was helpful. Don't stand around & graze if you normally have the habit of doing so. Sit down with *all* the food you plan on eating at that meal/snack in front of you and don't multi-task while you eat (mindfulness). That way your brain can appreciate how much you are eating and be satisfied as well as your stomach.
Very good point! I am guilty of standing in my kitchen eating in front of the laptop while I browse through MFP. Then I can't really remember what I just ate or even whether I enjoyed it.3 -
I am one of those people you look at and think "how is it easy for her to eat less". I am 5'6" and 140 pounds, at 52 years of age. I would like to weigh a bit less, but I don't.
I gained and lost 70 pounds with each of three pregnancies, and it was brutal.
I think about what I eat every single day, I never just wing it for more than a weeks holiday or so. If my weight creeps up then I slap it down.
Right now I am super hungry, but guess what, I need to wait until dinner to eat the meal I planned last night. I will make a cup of tea and eat a mint, that will help a bit.
I am also a volume eater, I will have a piece of baked tilapia and a whole tray of roasted vegetables for dinner. Total calories will be under 350 cals, but it will be a mountain of food and I will be satisfied all evening. I love dessert but never eat it, no treats in the house besides one square of dark chocolate after lunch each day, 50 cals in that. I can down a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream ice cream in 20 minutes flat, so I do not keep ice cream in the house.
Every day is choices.
Every meal out I try to make the right choice, I do not snack between meals, I do not do drive thru's ever, unless it is for a cup of tea.
I lift HIT training 3 times a week, I run 3 times a week and I hike or walk on top of that.
Honestly when you look at people and assume things, you are often very wrong about the way they live.
Never assume that slimmer folk have an easy time of it, an easier time perhaps, but not easy.
All this to say that each person's journey through life is their own, you choose your path and hope that the path leads you in the right direction. Comparing yourself to other people can only lead to distress. When you want change, you have to want to change more than you want to stay where you are. To fight the physical and mental challenges is hard no matter who you are.
To the OP, all you can do is be accountable to yourself. A wise teacher once told me "desire is essential", when talking about life changes. He was right.
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Its not easy at all. I've lost 150+ lbs over the course of years and it never really gets easy.
The key is to find what works for you. Meal timing, calories, food combos you enjoy, etc.
For ME personally, I LOVE FEELING STUFFED. I do so much better eating 2-3 BIG meals and feeling full until my next meal then I ever did eating 6 smaller meals. For others feeling not full and not hungry might work best.
I also do a high volume way of eating, lots of veggies to bulk out a meal and help feel full.
I could easily do -1000 calories, and no treats ever and lose 2 lbs a week just fine for a few months. But that will lead to more months of stalling and binging. So I'd rather -500 calories, do IF, eat pizza because its yum here and there and enjoy life while I'm losing at a steady 1 pound weight loss. "Diet breaks" also help. For every 3-4 months I am at a calorie deficit, I have 2-4 weeks where I eat at mat cals. It might take longer but it helps so much. This is all stuff I have learned over the years of trail and error in what works for ME.
At the end of the day honestly its finding what works for you.4 -
When I'm depressed I actually end up not eating anything at all until my mood becomes normalized again.0
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Log what you're currently eating for a week with no changes.This gives you a baseline. Put your stats into MFP and set for 1 lb per week. . Then drop 100 cals each week til MFP goal.2
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You could try menu planning..as in taking the time to plan out healthy meals and have all ingredents ready. That way you have meals to look forward to that can help you resist temptation. I find it way easier to be ok with being a little hungry at 11 if I know that I like what I'll be eating at noon for lunch. Then I play the 'can I hang on till lunch' game with myself and drink a cup of tea or water and before I know it I've done it.3
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I don't think it's about eating less, but about eating better. I have days I eat everything in sight, but I try and exercise regularly.
My loss is slow but it's going in the right direction. I log my food, even though it doesn't fit into my allowance so when I'm wondering why my loss is slow I can look at my diary and see exactly why,1 -
One of my breakthroughs was realizing that a lot of what I think of as hunger is actually thirst. Carrying a bottle of water helped build the habit of drinking a lot more. I try to get through two fillings of the bottle in a day.
Another was that I just can't have the high calorie junk foods around. I don't have the discipline to resist them in the cupboard. I usually can summon the discipline to resist them for the few minutes it takes to get out of the grocery store. Even some normally wholesome foods tend to tempt me to overindulge.
I had to log food and try to hit my calorie goals for a while before I reached any regular success. During this time you're building a sense of how many calories things have and what lower calorie foods you like and find satisfying.
Based on what you say, I would try to cut out the high calorie stuff and consciously look for lower calorie options. Keep foods that you can't resist out of your house.2 -
Cardio/being active is invaluable for me, a lot of people seem to be dieting off calorie restriction alone, no idea how they do it because I would be starving all day.1
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nosebag1212 wrote: »Cardio/being active is invaluable for me, a lot of people seem to be dieting off calorie restriction alone, no idea how they do it because I would be starving all day.
I do it. I mean I lift weights but no cardio. It's fine. I get such a small calorie burn from cardio the time isn't worth an extra 150 calories.0 -
My tdee is areound 1700 apparently, my BMR is around 1250 according to iifym. I have been doing 1300-1400 a day for the past 2-3 months (except maybe a day here or there). I realized I was eating wayy too much before. Especially carbs. I started 145lbs (im only 5'0) and my point was when I went on a cruise and saw the pictures and hated it. I have crohns so my weight goes up and down. I am now down to at least 130 but I have also gained a lot of muscle during the time. Waiting on my scale to see what my muscle mass is. I try to eat about 105 carbs, I think its about 60 fat and 130 or so in protein a day. The protein is definitely what helps. I would try to do more protein to keep you full. I also got some optimum nutrition protein powder which is the best one I have ever tasted. And if I am low on my protein for the day I will add that. I also want the protein to keep my muscles and have also started drinking BCAA's. It is super hard for me to stay away from chocolate. A little easier to stay away from chips and stuff but still.. But I am doing pretty well. And I havn't been to fast food almost none in the past 3 months. So proud of myself. Especially because when I started I was eating out almost every day because I didn't want to cook. Thank goodness for meal prep.1
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My gym has a sign in the ladies room: Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard. While there are strategies you can use (many helpful ones listed here) it all comes down to you being committed to following them. I got fat because I ate too much. It's that simple. I have now lost 110 lbs because I made the decision to eat less. It is not easy for most people but it IS doable. You can do it!3
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Do you try to work with the macros or just the calorie count? For me, I've been able to eat fewer calories because I'm working on nailing the fat, protein, and fiber counts each day. I think that's been the biggest difference. I'm actually filling up on healthy, nourishing foods and not just eating x-amount of calories.2
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I think for most of us, this weight loss journey is difficult. It isn't easy to cut or change eating habits and it takes internal motivation to change and be persistent. I often use running as my way to burn extra calories so that I can eat more comfortably while losing weight. If I were trying to eat only 1200 calories a day, every day, (I tried for a bit) I would be more likely to fail because that is even tougher. The problem is we see what people do for a short period of time, we don't see the work that goes behind it and so we think it is easier for them, when it's not. Except for my 15 year old 6'1" son... he is eating me out of house and home and is still thin, but I don't think that will last long
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AniaMania81 wrote: »Thanks for bringing up the mental bit. I had never thought of that before. I don't think that all of it is mental, some of it is definitely physical, but now that I think of it I can see where I need to challenge myself mentally. I normally cannot stand hunger at all, I lose all resolve after a few minutes of being hungry and it's because of my thinking. Thinking that I'm starving myself, starving my body, and starving my brain of the calories and nutrients it needs to function properly.
I just want to follow up on this part, because I think it's important. I started MFP in January 2013 and set it to lose 1.5 lb/week; I had about 50-70 lb. to lose. For the first three weeks, I found it really hard to stick to my deficit because I felt hungry much of the time. After that, it got a lot easier, though it was still no walk in the park. Here's what helped me:- If I felt hungry between meals, I would try to focus on something else—work, if I was working, or a puzzle, or a good book—something that took concentration. It's easier to deal with hunger if you have something else on your mind.
- If after 15 minutes I was still hungry, I'd have a glass of water.
- If that didn't work, I would have a low-calorie, filling snack. Dill pickles are my snack of choice.
- Finally, if I was still hungry 15-20 minutes after a couple of baby dills, I would have a small, protein- and fat-rich snack, like half an ounce of nuts.
I was already exercising regularly when I started MFP, not that it had much effect on my weight. But I do think exercising while on a deficit helped my body adapt more quickly to burning more fat and fewer carbs as fuel.
I didn't make many changes to my diet, other than eating less of everything, especially calorie-dense food like cheese. The main exception is that I stopped eating cereal for breakfast, because I discovered that 150 calories of buttered toast keep me satiated much longer than 300 calories of cereal with milk.
Finally, I focused on maintaining an average weekly deficit. If I went over my goal one day, I'd make it up over the next few days. If I knew I had a party or dinner out coming up, I would "bank" extra calories for that event. Some people can't do that because they don't actually make up the excess, but if you can, it can be a useful way to think about your goal.
That's what worked for me (65 pounds lost Jan. 2013-Dec. 2014), and what's working for me now as I work on taking off 10 lb. that I regained due to a couple vacations and a stressful period in my family life. Again, the second time around I found that a couple weeks into the process it got a lot easier to bear. It might not work for you, but I hope you do find something that does. Good luck!
If you have time for some reading, Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's book The Diet Fix is pretty good, both about why most diets don't work in the long run, and about what has been shown to work. His basic principle is that you can't succeed in a lifestyle change if you feel deprived most of the time. That means coming to terms with how your weight loss goals intersect with your other goals. It also means not cutting out foods if you don't plan to live without them for the rest of your life: instead, ask yourself, "How much of this do I need to eat in order to feel satisfied?" Then eat only that much, and savor it. It's one of a handful of really useful books on losing weight among the thousands of terrible ones.4 -
Switch up your macros a bit. If I ate the amount of carbs you do I'd always be aggressively hungry. See if your body is more contented with more protein or fats and less carbs.1
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It becomes easier when you do it long enough to truly FEEL how healthy you are. Looking better doesn't hurt, either. Once you're used to eating healthier, your body will feel awful when you fall off the wagon. Maybe once you can maintain healthier eating for longer, you'll feel less tempted knowing how crappy your body will feel afterward.
And stop thinking of food/lack of food as a reward or punishment. That part is mental and reinforces unhealthy eating patterns. If you have a great week of exercise and healthy eating....dont reward yourself with food. Buy a smaller-sized workout outfit, new shoes, a fun camping trip, whatever you love.
Like someone told me about my lifetime, severe insomnia: "Stop chasing sleep. Just stop." Because the more I obsess about my lack of sleep....the less I sleep.
Instead of chasing this "eating problem"...just commit to treating food as nourishment and nothing else. You can enjoy it, indulge sometimes, but obsessing over it won't help a bit.
Healthy eating shouldn't feel like a punishment you have to escape by eating badly or eating too much. It should feel like an incredible achievement that will change your health, body, mind, and life. You HAVE to get your mind there first. Stop expecting yourself to fail. Because you weren't assigned failure. It's a choice. Stop accepting it, stop guilting yourself, and move on to whoever the "new you" is going to be.5 -
It's not easy to eat less. It's work.0
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nosebag1212 wrote: »Cardio/being active is invaluable for me, a lot of people seem to be dieting off calorie restriction alone, no idea how they do it because I would be starving all day.
Perhaps, but for myself I definitely feel hungrier on days I run. So while I can eat more, I also need to relay more.1 -
I just started working out 9 days ago and this is a big issue for me. I just recently stopped breastfeeding and have been used to eating a lot to maintain my milk supply. My stomach growls all day long.0
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tlasublime83 wrote: »I just started working out 9 days ago and this is a big issue for me. I just recently stopped breastfeeding and have been used to eating a lot to maintain my milk supply. My stomach growls all day long.
Cardio is known to cause instant growling. Try putting cucumber, lemon, and ginger in your water bottle. Helps the growls and reduces bloat (if you have any).0 -
Get your thyroid checked and get checked for insulin resistance/diabetes.0
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tlasublime83 wrote: »I just started working out 9 days ago and this is a big issue for me. I just recently stopped breastfeeding and have been used to eating a lot to maintain my milk supply. My stomach growls all day long.
if it bothers you all day long, you could try replacing a full lunch with 2-3 snacks spaced out every few hours. see if it helps with that issue.0
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