Treated differently after weightloss

yweight2020

Men definitely treat me different when I'm bigger than a size 16 and not in A good way, even though a few men were interested in me at my biggest size 20 Not many and for the wrong reasons, like thinking big women love to cook and want to feed them or were insecure because of oir size so we'll except any treatment.

And women well to many of us arent nice to each other especially when we're dealing with smaller or pretty women .I've been much smaller perceived as a threat not many nice or be friendingg. As long as I'm big women are nice, befriending its really sad and ashamed behavior because my insides are the same regardless to my size.

ricomincia

Sometimes I think there is an element of self perception / projection here too... when you achieve your targets and you feel more positive about yourself you present a different version of yourself to the world around you... more energetic, vibrant and postitive - so mainly (speaking from experience) its more a change of your outlook on life and this shines through and people generally respond to this.....

SalinitySally

ek0513 wrote: »

utahjulia wrote: »

lacrosby03 wrote: »

I truly believe that the way we are viewed and treated has a direct correlation to the way we view ourselves. When we don't like who we are on the inside or on the outside others are able to perceive this. If you are confident in who you are, no matter your size, than shame on those who are judging you. It is unfortunate that we live in a society where looks matter more than anything else. How you treat yourself is how you will also be treated. Whether you are overweight underweight or somewhere in between, we all struggle with something. The unfortunate thing about dealing with excess weight is that others see our weight and view it as a conditional or psychological problem. Oftentimes we believe that if we lose weight all of those problems will go away. Unfortunately it is how we are feeling on the inside that matters. No amount of weight loss can help us from our eyes looking outward at oirselves. We all must learn to love ourselves for who we are, no matter what our size or our weight. Sure we should all work towards bettering ourselves health wise, but not just so we can please others and fit in to a societal view of what is appropriate. Go forth with confidence and a positive view of who you are and others will see you in the same light.

Not true for me. I’ve always been very outgoing and confident and aware of my worth (and educated and competent) but when I’m heavier SOME other people treat me like they need me to acknowledge my lesser (fatty) worth by piping down. Or I’ve been treated like I’m invisible. When I’m closer to goal weight, I get more respect and acceptance.

I’m with you as well. I feel like my personality has been the same throughout this whole process, but people use to just never give me the chance to get to know me because I wasn’t their idea of attractive. I feel like I’m being treated as if my presence is a lot more accepted and desired now that I lost weight.

Exactly what I meant, but more succinctly stated.

jjalbertt

Since gaining weight from being fit I know I'm treated differently in the dating department. People aren't as interested than before.
I'm working on it though and clearly those people aren't worth it!

sugarnspice0613

Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »

One thing I found painful was when I mentioned a person to someone and they asked: "Who? The fat one?" No one would have ever said something like that to me when I was also overweight, but now that I'm the "normal" club people aren't as careful anymore I guess. The reason it hurt was because "the fat one" is an awesome person, a great human being, being singled out by this one feature. And it makes me wonder how many times people in the past have referred to me as 'the fat one'?

I also had a similar situation. After I lost a significant amount of weight (I believe 50 lbs at this time), people started paying more attention to me, and I developed a friendship with a married couple who lived in an apartment across from me. I saw them all the time and talked with them frequently, but we never hung out. After losing weight, they started inviting me to go out with them which I did...I always had a blast so we hung out most nights of the week.

And then one day, we were at Sonic sitting at one of the tables outside, and the husband started making fun of a fat person and said he should suck on a peppermint and then stick it on the person’s chair as they were sitting down so we could laugh once the person stood back up with candy stuck to their butt. I had always viewed the wife as one of the sweetest people I had met, but she just laughed at the thought of being cruel to someone simply because of their weight. I was shocked.

I immediately just started bawling because in that moment, I realized why we never became friends sooner. I realized they hated fat people, and I realized that was how they had viewed me until my weight loss...as if I was less of a person because of the extra weight. Our “friendship” ended that night.



As far as how everyone else treated me, I didn’t really notice a huge change in how women responded to me except that they would come up to me and tell me how much I inspired them with my weight loss journey (around 70lbs lost total). That made me feel amazing, but I didn’t feel they treated me differently as a person. I definitely had more men striking up random conversations, and it wasn’t due to having more confidence from losing weight. My confidence came from the attention I was receiving, not the other way around.