Feeling guilty after small slip ups
tdavis1994
Posts: 18 Member
Does anyone else feel so guilty after going over there calories? Yesterday I went over by 100 calories and felt extremely guilty when laying in bed last night. Couldn't stop worrying that I had ruined my progress and would fall back into old habits. How do other people deal with this kind of thing?
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Replies
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Self compassion
Welcome to the human experience where no one is 100% perfect all the time8 -
Nope. And unless you're set to maintenance, you were still in a deficit.9
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None of us are perfect, and we all experience life. Don't beat yourself up; start afresh with your next meal. You can do it.2
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Yes! I feel like I've fallen off the wagon these past 3 days due to celebrations that I attended. We are human and our own worst critic. We just need to stop feeling the guilt and keep moving forward. ...with maybe one less glass of wine! Haha. Wine calories are killing me!3
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If you normally run a 500 deficit and go 100 over your goal one day, that means you have a 400 cal deficit. This is not a disaster. Focus on the facts!10
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I used to. Then I realized one day that beating myself was doing nothing positive for me. As already said, you still had a deficit, just smaller, so no, it won't ruin anything here and there. It's consistency over time.
The stuff you were saying to yourself last night while thinking about it... would you say those things to me, if I told you I had gone over by 100 calories? If the answer is no, then you need to show yourself more compassion.5 -
I am over by 1,670 calories today. The 1,300 Dairy Queen Blizzard didn't help. My daily calorie goal is set to only 750 under maintenance. That means I am about 1000 calories over maintenance. It may slow my progress a little, but is just a blip in the grans scheme of things. As long as it isn't an every day thing, I will be just fine.9
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I've found fretting about small slipups just makes things worse. It's a lifestyle, not a race or marathon. We won't be perfect all through life, so we can't expect to be perfect now. Just calmly take mistakes in stride and if you're like me, forgiving yourself will make you better, not worse, at this. 1
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I acknowledge that I screwed up, acknowledge that I don't feel good about screwing up, acknowledge any negativity that comes with it, have an outlet to vent, and then let bygones be bygones. We are humans and we make mistakes. It is ok.
The key for me (as is taught by vipassana meditation) is embracing whatever negative emotions which might surface, accepting them as they are and knowing that they have their place in your mind for a reason. By learning how to universally accept whatever emotions you feel, you learn how to be loving with yourself and your thoughts, even at times of negativity. Slowly, not only will these negative emotions decrease in intensity, but you will also be able to let go of them and move on a lot quicker. Good luck to your journey! Metta!9 -
No. I struggle in different ways. Not over 100 calories. Maybe over 1000 calories I might get a bit...fidgety.4
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We are human... we will make mistakes, weather it's done deliberately or not... as long as you got back on track... pay yourself on the back!!!2
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One hundred calories is not going to cause any harm. Obsessing about it will cause harm. Always being over is not good, but it's perfectly reasonable to go over by small amounts (like 100 calories) every once in awhile, and to go under by small amounts occasionally too. It's what you do over and over again that causes problems.2
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We are human... we will make mistakes, weather it's done deliberately or not... as long as you got back on track... pay yourself on the back!!!
100 calories isn't even a mistake. Heck, calorie counting is a guesstimate anyway. Statistically, 100 calories is nothing even if one's calorie goal is at maintenance.4 -
Here's what I tell my kid and what my Mom used to say to me. "Don't waste time being sorry. Fix it, get over it or start over."
(Only applies to normal mistakes. Being a dick you should feel sorry about first. THEN fix it, and move on. You can't start over with other prople, just yourself.)3 -
If you normally run a 500 deficit and go 100 over your goal one day, that means you have a 400 cal deficit. This is not a disaster. Focus on the facts!
This.
Understanding the weight loss arithmetic is hugely empowering.
If you've been losing a pound a week, then eat a thousand calories over goal, you've delayed reaching your final weight goal by two whole days. As long as it doesn't happen often, big whoop-tee-doo.
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I know a hundred calories isn't a big deal. It's more about the huge amount of guilt and how upset I get at myself when I have a slightly off day. I am trying to learn how to not be so hard on myself. And I have so much fear I will fail because I need to change so badly.2
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I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment6
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I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment
Going 100 calories over for one day would barely cause any damage. It's less than half an ounce for the entire week, and it can easily be averaged out by someone who follows a weekly goal.4 -
I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment
Pain? I strongly disagree. It's not that we sinned, thus got fat, so need to suffer in penance - LOL.
I lost 50+ pounds in less than a year, by setting a reasonable, achievable calorie deficit, learning what/when I personally needed to eat to get adequate nutrition and feel satiated most of the time, then stuck to that the overwhelming majority of the time, letting myself go over goal once in a while for special occasions.
It's about learning how to eat in a healthy, satisfying way permanently. Yes, we have to have guidelines, but they need to be sustainable, too.
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I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment
I don't see this as being helpful or productive in any way shape or form. I'm all for tough love when it's appropriate, and will dole it out, but kicking someone who is down and already kicking themselves is unnecessary. 100 calories over the deficit, still leaves a deficit. She's still in an overall negative net, so doing just fine.4 -
OP it can be a hard trek losing weight, try not to make it harder on yourself by letting perfect be the enemy of good.
We all make mistakes, don't expect yourself to be perfect and be kinder to yourself when things don't go according to plan, just keep doing better than you did before.2 -
Maybe what you're feeling isn't so much guilt but fear. Is your self-confidence shaken?
When that happens to me, I use it as a springboard for a new burst of determination, go into competitive mode and vow that in three days I can calculate and see that I'm indeed on track. Eat 33 fewer calories per day for 3 days and that extra 100 won't matter.
I continually try to find ways to prove to myself how strong I am, especially after a slip up. Focusing on the present and the future is so important in building confidence.2 -
I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment
If you want to talk about a slippery slope, stressing about 100 calories is more like a slippery slope to an eating disorder than a slippery slope to eating too much. I just think you're offering bad advice here. As other posters have said, if you're in a 500 calorie deficit and you eat 100 calories over, you're still in a 400 calorie deficit. That's not worth beating yourself up over, and guilt over small slipups is its own slippery slope.
To the OP, I totally relate. I had a calorie-bomb meal at a restaurant today and I'm trying to follow my own advice and not feel guilty about it.
Generally, what works best for me is that if I'm going to eat "too much" I try to do it mindfully and intentionally. If you're going to go over your calorie goal, make that decision in advance. Then when you do go over, you don't have to feel guilty or feel like you messed up or fell off the wagon because you made an intentional choice to eat whatever you ate. There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating over your goal once in a while, I just think that when you do it, you need to enjoy it and find a way to do it without looking back and feeling guilty.5 -
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For everyone that had helpful positive things to say, thank you. I am at a huge deficit as it is and I need to remember that. It will take me time to get the weight off and I will learn what's best for me as I go.2
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tdavis1994 wrote: »
Don't take it personally. Some people need to move out of their mother's basement.5 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »tdavis1994 wrote: »
Don't take it personally. Some people need to move out of their mother's basement.
I don't get what this means. Someone please explain.0 -
1. Minor slip up if at all
2. Measuring by you, boxes or restaurants can be off, way off.
3. If you go to the gym tomorrow, work an extra ten minutes if you're really worried.
4. If you make this process complicated and frustrating you might be less likely to succeed.
5. Losing sleep might make you hibgrier tomorrow, it does for me.
6. You are human. Enjoy every once in a while, no big deal.
It's all good! Move on. New day tomorrow.0 -
I am over by 1,670 calories today. The 1,300 Dairy Queen Blizzard didn't help. My daily calorie goal is set to only 750 under maintenance. That means I am about 1000 calories over maintenance. It may slow my progress a little, but is just a blip in the grans scheme of things. As long as it isn't an every day thing, I will be just fine.
*Exact* same thing happened to me today. A frozen custard put me over by 1000. But even so, my weekly net has me right on track. In the past, something like this would have me stressing and giving up because I'm not able to be perfect, but now, I'll chalk it up to having an *occasional* decadent treat. I've been craving and putting off that custard for a month (in the past, it would not have been put off for no man's money, so that in itself was a win). And now, I'll go on with life and be back on track tomorrow.
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It's just life.
We all have days when we go over. Today I've got a family do. I'll go over - it's all planned like that.
One thing is to learn to accept the decisions you make. I've decided I want to enjoy prosecco with my family today. I will - and tomorrow's a new day.
You can't change the past - so no benefit in worrying or feeling guilty.
By all means learn from it. So take a moment to register that you don't like the way you feel when you over indulge for a reason you haven't planned. Then next time you are in the same situation remember how you will feel afterwards.
Hope that's of some help to you.2
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