Feeling guilty after small slip ups
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OP it can be a hard trek losing weight, try not to make it harder on yourself by letting perfect be the enemy of good.
We all make mistakes, don't expect yourself to be perfect and be kinder to yourself when things don't go according to plan, just keep doing better than you did before.2 -
Maybe what you're feeling isn't so much guilt but fear. Is your self-confidence shaken?
When that happens to me, I use it as a springboard for a new burst of determination, go into competitive mode and vow that in three days I can calculate and see that I'm indeed on track. Eat 33 fewer calories per day for 3 days and that extra 100 won't matter.
I continually try to find ways to prove to myself how strong I am, especially after a slip up. Focusing on the present and the future is so important in building confidence.2 -
I feel for you but you do need to be hard on yourself 100 can soon be 200 !and then 300. You need to get a grip and not make such basic mistakes. There is no progress without pain and commitment
If you want to talk about a slippery slope, stressing about 100 calories is more like a slippery slope to an eating disorder than a slippery slope to eating too much. I just think you're offering bad advice here. As other posters have said, if you're in a 500 calorie deficit and you eat 100 calories over, you're still in a 400 calorie deficit. That's not worth beating yourself up over, and guilt over small slipups is its own slippery slope.
To the OP, I totally relate. I had a calorie-bomb meal at a restaurant today and I'm trying to follow my own advice and not feel guilty about it.
Generally, what works best for me is that if I'm going to eat "too much" I try to do it mindfully and intentionally. If you're going to go over your calorie goal, make that decision in advance. Then when you do go over, you don't have to feel guilty or feel like you messed up or fell off the wagon because you made an intentional choice to eat whatever you ate. There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating over your goal once in a while, I just think that when you do it, you need to enjoy it and find a way to do it without looking back and feeling guilty.5 -
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For everyone that had helpful positive things to say, thank you. I am at a huge deficit as it is and I need to remember that. It will take me time to get the weight off and I will learn what's best for me as I go.2
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tdavis1994 wrote: »
Don't take it personally. Some people need to move out of their mother's basement.5 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »tdavis1994 wrote: »
Don't take it personally. Some people need to move out of their mother's basement.
I don't get what this means. Someone please explain.0 -
1. Minor slip up if at all
2. Measuring by you, boxes or restaurants can be off, way off.
3. If you go to the gym tomorrow, work an extra ten minutes if you're really worried.
4. If you make this process complicated and frustrating you might be less likely to succeed.
5. Losing sleep might make you hibgrier tomorrow, it does for me.
6. You are human. Enjoy every once in a while, no big deal.
It's all good! Move on. New day tomorrow.0 -
I am over by 1,670 calories today. The 1,300 Dairy Queen Blizzard didn't help. My daily calorie goal is set to only 750 under maintenance. That means I am about 1000 calories over maintenance. It may slow my progress a little, but is just a blip in the grans scheme of things. As long as it isn't an every day thing, I will be just fine.
*Exact* same thing happened to me today. A frozen custard put me over by 1000. But even so, my weekly net has me right on track. In the past, something like this would have me stressing and giving up because I'm not able to be perfect, but now, I'll chalk it up to having an *occasional* decadent treat. I've been craving and putting off that custard for a month (in the past, it would not have been put off for no man's money, so that in itself was a win). And now, I'll go on with life and be back on track tomorrow.
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It's just life.
We all have days when we go over. Today I've got a family do. I'll go over - it's all planned like that.
One thing is to learn to accept the decisions you make. I've decided I want to enjoy prosecco with my family today. I will - and tomorrow's a new day.
You can't change the past - so no benefit in worrying or feeling guilty.
By all means learn from it. So take a moment to register that you don't like the way you feel when you over indulge for a reason you haven't planned. Then next time you are in the same situation remember how you will feel afterwards.
Hope that's of some help to you.2 -
tdavis1994 wrote: »For everyone that had helpful positive things to say, thank you. I am at a huge deficit as it is and I need to remember that. It will take me time to get the weight off and I will learn what's best for me as I go.
If you are substantially undereating recommended calories for weight loss, it is likely you will eat over your own set calorie allowance again. You body won't be getting the nutrition it needs and you will likely be hungry.0 -
I am eating enough calories to feel full. I just mean that if I go over 100 calories one day the deficit in big enough that it really won't matter. And I should stop beating myself up about something that is such a small impact and learn from my mistakes
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It's easy to lose perspective when calorie counting if you overthink it. So try thinking about it another way:
Bananas are around 120 calories. Are you really going to let 4/5 of a banana dictate how you feel about yourself today?
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It's easy to lose perspective
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Nope. And I also don't freak out if I'm 200 under. It's the average over time and whether that gets you to your goal that matters. In fact I carry a lot during the week because I will plan for things like giant lobster rolls and fries.0
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tdavis1994 wrote: »I am eating enough calories to feel full. I just mean that if I go over 100 calories one day the deficit in big enough that it really won't matter. And I should stop beating myself up about something that is such a small impact and learn from my mistakes
THIS !!!!!!!
The best advice I received when I first started losing was :"You are not making a big change in your life, you are making a series of small changes".
How this translates to the days I overeat:- Was I hungry? Did I NEED to eat extra?
- Did I eat more than target of something healthy or was it fun food?
- Was this a one-time thing or am I doing this frequently?
If you are eating at a deficit on a daily basis, you are doing just fine. A day or two of eating at a smaller deficit (or even maintenance), especially if you were hungry, does not matter in the overall scheme of things. You are LEARNING how to eat better. People who are not overweight also have days where they eat more than they burned that day, they just adjust for it over the next couple of days. You are learning how to eat like that and this is just one lesson in that series of changes. It was NOT a mistake, it is part of the learning process.
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tdavis1994 wrote: »Does anyone else feel so guilty after going over there calories? Yesterday I went over by 100 calories and felt extremely guilty when laying in bed last night. Couldn't stop worrying that I had ruined my progress and would fall back into old habits. How do other people deal with this kind of thing?
If you only went over by 100 calories, then you didn't ruin a damn thing.
When you signed up for mfp, you chose to lose a certain amount each week and the amount of calories are deducted from your maintenance calories. Technically you can eat up to your maintenance calories (anywhere from 250-1000) and not gain (or lose less than expected).
You gain when you go over maintenance (500 over maintenance every day for a week) can lead to a 1lb gain. So your 100 calories isn't going to make much of a difference in the week- you'll lose just a tiny bit less, or it won't really matter. It certainly won't matter in the long run. A drop in the ocean.
So drop the guilt and shame; it's not doing you any favours.2 -
I went over calories by about 125 yesterday. The day before, I was under by 54 calories. As much as we try to log accurately, there's some wiggle room in the MFP database. Don't micromanage yourself! It's all within the range of success. You'll find that you are still losing weight, slowly but surely, with these little blips.1
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Nutrition labels can be off, legally, by up to 20%.
You simply cannot measure your intake to the nearest 100 calories in a day.
And if you could that is only 11 grams of body fat, your scale cannot measure that accurately.
If you are worried, go an additional 100 calories under some day to make up for it.
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Yeah, I went over maintenance three days in a row as of yesterday. I'll probably be up a lb tomorrow, but I'm still in deficit for the month and I bet I can drop that lb again by the end of the week. It happens. I truly believe that this will only work AND stick if I'm gentle to myself. It took me seven years to gain the 70 lbs I'm hoping to lose and keep off. I'm six months and 18 lbs into it and so long as I'm losing or maintaining, I'm going to call that a success.2
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