This has been a frustrating month of ups and downs, losing the same 2-4 pounds over and over again. But on the plus side, I have not allowed it to discourage me to the point of abandoning my efforts.
In the past I really would've fallen victim to the "What's the point?! Eat everything!" mentality. But from experience I know what comes with that. Being even further from my goals, feeling defeated and angry with myself, hating food and my body and my lack of willpower.
There definitely have been points so far these past few weeks where I've thought about just throwing my hands up in the air and eating junk food and not tracking... but the thought of hating myself stops me.
I'm tired of hating myself. I want to like myself. And even if the weight isn't doing the obedient linear thing, I want to at least feel proud of my efforts. I am sick of punishing myself with food, under the guise of making myself feel better. I know where that road leads: It leads to me in front of the mirror, just hating what I'm seeing. It's such a negative place and I don't want to go there.
So for now that is what is motivating me to get beyond this zig zag period. I imagine post-binge, me hating myself and I don't want that.
Plus reading people post about their journeys and where they ended up helps me envision a day when I can say: Oh yes, I've been there and now look at me! 100 pounds down!
That's what I want!!