children's diet and the obesity crisis

fionarama

Just had a sleepover which gave me an insight into how other people's kids eat.
So had to have a rant!
Anyone who knows my eating habits know I eat 3 pretty normal meals a day (normal to me!) dinner is normally lean meat and small handful of clean carbs with a generous portion of green veges.
My daughter eats the same. She has dessert sometimes but has been taught not to expect more than a yoghurt and also not to expect a sweet treat after every meal.
its normally subway rather than McDonalds and she is allowed one junk such as crisps or an ice cream once a week. Normally worked into an active outing such as playing in the park.
As a result she's a healthy eater eats pretty much anything - she's learnt if she doens't eat it mum doesn't really bother with alternatives and she'll have to wait to the next meal.
School holidays have come on and I am just astounded at the amount of junk being given to my daughter on playdates and even at paid childcare providers. I've decided to be a mean mamma and ban it and tell the parents I don't want her given this ****.
But its no wonder adults have no idea how to eat healthily and lose weight when the kids are not fed right.
How many times do I go into a nursery or childcare provider and realise most of the kids there have not had their breakfast? Why would you drag your child out of bed and wouldn't the first thing you do is feed them something nutritious, before you do anything else, definitely before they brush their teeth or BEFORE you expect them to leave the house????
Why do kids get their tea separately to adults, and get given "kids food" (read overprocessed chicken nuggets and fish fingers). Why do these kids not eat anything at their meal times and then 5 minutes later ask for junk (and in their own homes seemingly get it given to them, seems to be they no they needn't eat dinner as they'll get some lollies or ice cream some time anyway).
Some of these kids complain to me of sore tummy or of feeling funny (light headed). They are so not in touch with their little bodies they don't even know what being hungry is, they just know they're grumpy and tired.
My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.
anyway it bugs the hell out of me when I have a kid at my place and they won't eat ANYTHING even normal stuff like boiled potatoes or peas. And then 5 minutes later they're into their overnight bag dragging out the lollies and **** the parents had the bad manners to put in their suitcase in some ignorant idea of giving them "treats". How is that kindness/??
But it must move on, if you only eat fish fingers fries and lollies as a kid, when you're a teenager and older leaving home to fend for yourself you must only want takeaways and pizzas?
A study about cooking I read int he Sunday paper today surveying young people and they had no idea how to even boil an egg or how long it takes to cook a bacon rasher (not that 's particularly healthy either).
Rant over but sure is an eye opener.
I know we're all different but it is surprising that's for sure.

AlongCame_Molly

I find it odd that someone who displays "0 pounds lost" on their ticker has the time and audacity to nitpick and feel superior to others' eating habits...

MyChocolateDiet

OP you really really anger me. How sad that some people who beleive they are your friends had their kids invited to your house and you played judgey mcjudgewhatever with their kids.

i hope your darling perfect daughter lives a perfect life and does not crumble under the pressure of your expectations.





http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf0r0i1xBH1qd1nnmo1_500.jpg

dsalveson

ken_hogan

OP you really really anger me. How sad that some people who beleive they are your friends had their kids invited to your house and you played judgey mcjudgewhatever with their kids.

i hope your darling perfect daughter lives a perfect life and does not crumble under the pressure of your expectations.





http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf0r0i1xBH1qd1nnmo1_500.jpg

This.

hookilau

I'm absolutely sure you didn't realize how this would come off when you wrote it :blushing: :ohwell: ....Live and learn.

kathleennf

I find it odd that someone who displays "0 pounds lost" on their ticker has the time and audacity to nitpick and feel superior to others' eating habits...

Hello- maybe she doesn't need to lose weight? Not everyone here is here for the same reason. I'm not trying to lose (any more) weight either!

I am with OP- childhood obesity is a serious problem in our country. We need to do something about it. Please give people leave to "rant" if they want to do so! This is the best place for it.

lilac67

For my family, it's the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time we eat very well.......the 20% is "the norm". At home we eat well all week, but on Sunday for dinner the family chooses what we have. Some times we have pizza....that's pizza with a big salad. I offer fruit, string cheese, yogurt, granola bars, etc. for snacks and he loves those, too.You have to be careful with kids. If you deny them too much they seem to take off in another direction. I try to keep all things in moderation. I also know that if my son goes to a birthday party he will probably have pizza, chips, soda, cake and ice cream....and that's ok. Teaching a child good habits and good nutrition shouldn't include cutting him off from the world.

kathleennf

For my family, it's the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time we eat very well.......the 20% is "the norm". At home we eat well all week, but on Sunday for dinner the family chooses what we have. Some times we have pizza....that's pizza with a big salad. I offer fruit, string cheese, yogurt, granola bars, etc. for snacks and he loves those, too.You have to be careful with kids. If you deny them too much they seem to take off in another direction. I try to keep all things in moderation. I also know that if my son goes to a birthday party he will probably have pizza, chips, soda, cake and ice cream....and that's ok. Teaching a child good habits and good nutrition shouldn't include cutting him off from the world.

This is awesome. I was raised pretty much like that too. My dad always said "everything in moderation" and I have always tried to keep that in mind. I remember one time we were on vacation and my dad said we could have anything we wanted for breakfast and we challenged him- said we wanted fudge! And he said ok but only on vacation- don't ask for it at home! I was 9. Never forgot it. And I had my first alcohol at home - a small glass of wine on my 13th birthday because I was a teenager. I never grew up thinking alcohol was a mystery or some great thing. Really I tasted it and didn't like it and was never tempted later. Though I did grow to like it- always used in moderation.

hookilau

OP: has it occurred to you that for a special occasion such as a slumber party, the fare would be cake, ice cream, cookies and cocoa?.....waffles and other yummy sweet treats are usually slated for parties and celebrations no?

Do you really thing it's fair to judge the fact that children expect lavish treats at such a celebration? Let's not even discuss how the stress of being away from home can affect them.

Shrug. Eyes on your own paper, this sort of internal dialogue generally doesn't make it past the walls of one's home because most folks realize the complexity of such an issue.

fionarama

OP: has it occurred to you that for a special occasion such as a slumber party, the fare would be cake, ice cream, cookies and cocoa?.....waffles and other yummy sweet treats are usually slated for parties and celebrations no?

Do you really thing it's fair to judge the fact that children expect lavish treats at such a celebration? Let's not even discuss how the stress of being away from home can affect them.

Shrug. Eyes on your own paper, this sort of internal dialogue generally doesn't make it past the walls of one's home because most folks realize the complexity of such an issue.

I guess what I put didn't come out very well because I am so angry.
My daughter has now been on holiday for three weeks and she has been given chocolate, ice creams, sweets you name it EVERY DAY by other people.

My whole point is its not being kept for special treats its every time, every day. So I have to be the mean mummy and start telling her to refuse things, it's upsetting that people I know and do like, I don't know what to do, I don't want to have to have a confrontation and say next time I drop her off, please don't give her any sweets but it is all the time. And its true, some of these kids don't really understand normal food the meat and two veges kind.
I guess how do other parents feel about their kids being given junk on play dates? Is it normal is it just something that happens? The only thing I remember on playdates was normal food, a peanut butter sandwich or a glass of milk when we were hungry. Not adult sized ice creams for a 5 year old, 5 minutes after lunch was served?
I'm really surprised that people have been well extremely judgemental right back on this website of all places, I would have thought if I was worked up about something like this MFP would be the place to post!

usmcmp

it bugs the hell out of me when I have a kid at my place and they won't eat ANYTHING even normal stuff like boiled potatoes or peas. And then 5 minutes later they're into their overnight bag dragging out the lollies and **** the parents had the bad manners to put in their suitcase in some ignorant idea of giving them "treats". How is that kindness/??

Maybe your cooking sucks or maybe the kids are super tasters (they taste bitter where others don't) and the taste makes them sick. How is what the parents packed in their personal stuff bad manners? I think it's bad manners to belittle your guests. I give my kids treats because deprivation leads to overindulgence when they get the chance.

if you only eat fish fingers fries and lollies as a kid, when you're a teenager and older leaving home to fend for yourself you must only want takeaways and pizzas?
A study about cooking I read int he Sunday paper today surveying young people and they had no idea how to even boil an egg or how long it takes to cook a bacon rasher (not that 's particularly healthy either).

My mom cooked amazing and healthy home cooked meals for us as children. Dinners out were rare treats and we almost never had fast food. When my sisters and I got our driver's license all we ever ate was fast food. We all went from healthy weight to obese at that point. I can cook very well, but I'd rather eat junk because I never got it as a kid. Sort of blows your theory out of the water.

Mustang_Susie

It's not just food, it's good parenting in general that has declined over the last few decades.
It's about discipline and self control.
The parents don't have it themselves so they can't pass it along to their children.
It's much easier to give a child what he/she wants than to actually raise them to be disciplined, productive adults.
I'm at the tail end of the baby boomers and was raised by parents who grew up during the depression.
I ate what was on my plate or I didn't eat.
I didn't call the shots, my parents did.
I didn't throw a tantrum if I didn't get what I wanted.
And I certainly never talked back.
My parents were the authority because they knew more than I did.
Sadly, that's not the case anymore.
It's the blind leading the blind.
Call me old school, but old-fashioned parenting works.

theoriginaljayne

For my family, it's the 80/20 rule... You have to be careful with kids. If you deny them too much they seem to take off in another direction. I try to keep all things in moderation. I also know that if my son goes to a birthday party he will probably have pizza, chips, soda, cake and ice cream....and that's ok. Teaching a child good habits and good nutrition shouldn't include cutting him off from the world.

This is awesome. I was raised pretty much like that too. My dad always said "everything in moderation" and I have always tried to keep that in mind. I remember one time we were on vacation and my dad said we could have anything we wanted for breakfast and we challenged him- said we wanted fudge! And he said ok but only on vacation- don't ask for it at home!

I was raised in a similar way. Yes, we ate plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, etc, etc... but special treats were certainly never banned! Yet we're all still in very good health and maintain normal weights. Everything in moderation, as they say.

usmcmp

School holidays have come on and I am just astounded at the amount of junk being given to my daughter on playdates and even at paid childcare providers. I've decided to be a mean mamma and ban it and tell the parents I don't want her given this ****.

Your daughter will hate you at some point. I'm predicting quite soon. If she's allowed to go and sit out other children will make fun of her. If you keep her from going she will resent you.

AlongCame_Molly

I find it odd that someone who displays "0 pounds lost" on their ticker has the time and audacity to nitpick and feel superior to others' eating habits...

Hello- maybe she doesn't need to lose weight? Not everyone here is here for the same reason. I'm not trying to lose (any more) weight either!

OP's ticker says "9kg to go". Unobservant poster is unobservant.

abbylg1983

Oh boy, these "and this is why I'm better than everyone" posts really don't go over well around here. OP glad your child is a good eater with a good temperament. Attributing her laid back personality to your militant views on food might be a stretch. I guarantee you she won't be happy and laidback when all the other kids in her group are enjoying treats and the teacher or other parent tells her she can't have any.

I'll agree with you that childhood obesity is a problem and the onus is on the parents to teach and enforce good eating habits. But you can do so without denying all treats and judging every other parent that comes across your path.

roodica

It's not just food, it's good parenting in general that has declined over the last few decades.
It's about discipline and self control.
The parents don't have it themselves so they can't pass it along to their children.
It's much easier to give a child what he/she wants than to actually raise them to be disciplined, productive adults.
I'm at the tail end of the baby boomers and was raised by parents who grew up during the depression.
I ate what was on my plate or I didn't eat.
I didn't call the shots, my parents did.
I didn't throw a tantrum if I didn't get what I wanted.
And I certainly never talked back.
My parents were the authority because they knew more than I did.
Sadly, that's not the case anymore.
It's the blind leading the blind.
Call me old school, but old-fashioned parenting works.

oh good grief - "kids today, not like when I was a kid"...mantra has been around since the beginning of time. Most often used by the childless.

AlongCame_Molly

School holidays have come on and I am just astounded at the amount of junk being given to my daughter on playdates and even at paid childcare providers. I've decided to be a mean mamma and ban it and tell the parents I don't want her given this ****.

Your daughter will hate you at some point. I'm predicting quite soon. If she's allowed to go and sit out other children will make fun of her. If you keep her from going she will resent you.

Oh, and, this ^^

pluckabee

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

dandelyon

It seems that being a kid IS a special occasion for some people. During the times of the year when my son is involved in a lot of outside activities, he eats heaps of sugary junk and yes, it reaches the point where I'm like, no you need real food in your body.

I'm someone who believes in moderation, but when I look back over the day and can't think of a single fruit, vegetable, or protein that my child consumed then I obviously need to take a more active role in his food options.

PapaverSomniferum

My daughters are exceptionally fit and healthy.

About a year ago, my 10 year old started packing on pounds. She was spending a lot of time with family members who have sedentary lifestyles and had discovered video games at about the same time. We had a talk about how here choices were affecting her body, and how she's young enough that she can choose to be active or not. She evaluated the lifestyles of active adults and less-than-healthy adults she knew, and made appropriate choices. She learned to ride a bike (something she'd had little interest in before), began spending more time at sports during free time at school, and stopped grazing the cabinets after school for chips. She chooses apples instead of candy, if she's feeling hungry.

There have always been healthy meals set before her 5 or 6 nights a week. Those other couple nights we might have Chinese take-out or Pizza. Eating healthy is a lifestyle: NOT a prison. Food is a pleasure; NOT a chore.

Here's the ticket: I give my daughters the choice and the tools to make that change. My older daughter is only 10, but when she started getting unhealthy, we discussed nutrition, and the weight she was putting on (in a loving and non-judgemental way. she actually brought it up). There was no body shaming. No demonizing the junk food. There are still chips and ice cream at her fingertips, and she (as well as I) still eats those things.

If you act like these "treats" are some sort of forbidden, horrible thing, your child will grow up to covet the sugar and snacks. The same thing happens when your local preacher's kid hits high school and gets knocked up by the age of 16. The behavior you describe for yourself here are the things eating disorders are made of. Don't give your kid a f*cking complex.

Children are people, and given the tools to succeed, will generally choose some form of success. Whether it's your idea of success is still up for grabs.

AlabasterVerve

OP: has it occurred to you that for a special occasion such as a slumber party, the fare would be cake, ice cream, cookies and cocoa?.....waffles and other yummy sweet treats are usually slated for parties and celebrations no?

Do you really thing it's fair to judge the fact that children expect lavish treats at such a celebration? Let's not even discuss how the stress of being away from home can affect them.

Shrug. Eyes on your own paper, this sort of internal dialogue generally doesn't make it past the walls of one's home because most folks realize the complexity of such an issue.

I guess what I put didn't come out very well because I am so angry.
My daughter has now been on holiday for three weeks and she has been given chocolate, ice creams, sweets you name it EVERY DAY by other people.

My whole point is its not being kept for special treats its every time, every day. So I have to be the mean mummy and start telling her to refuse things, it's upsetting that people I know and do like, I don't know what to do, I don't want to have to have a confrontation and say next time I drop her off, please don't give her any sweets but it is all the time. And its true, some of these kids don't really understand normal food the meat and two veges kind.
I guess how do other parents feel about their kids being given junk on play dates? Is it normal is it just something that happens? The only thing I remember on playdates was normal food, a peanut butter sandwich or a glass of milk when we were hungry. Not adult sized ice creams for a 5 year old, 5 minutes after lunch was served?
I'm really surprised that people have been well extremely judgemental right back on this website of all places, I would have thought if I was worked up about something like this MFP would be the place to post!

You're not alone, OP. Any activity or event for children is seen as an opportunity to give them sweets and junk food. You might find some like minded parents on the Weighty Matters blog. He has a feature tagged "parental no" which highlights all of these occasions where children are given junk and the dilemma parents face from the "it's just one" and the "kids need treats" school of thought. I don't envy anyone trying to limit sugar in their kids diets because it really is offereed everywhere for every occasion.

http://www.weightymatters.ca/search/label/Parental No

MGwasp

"Your Child's Weight, Helping Without Harming" by Ellyn Satter. Fabulous book for parents concerned about nutrition and weight for their children. Recommended by a nutrition expert specializing in eating disorders. This is definitely worth a read if you want to pass down great eating patterns and habits.

fionarama

See I'm really confused here . On the one hand we're supposed to encourage healthy eating, in foods, childcare providers , everywhere.
On the other hand I'm a "food militant" because i don't want my daughter fed lollies, chocolate, cakes and junk every time she has a play date or goes to a school holiday club.
I'm with the guy on there who used to quote quite frequently "don't treat yourself with food, you're not a dog". I don't want her to have that culture bred into her, that food treats are part and parcel of pretty much any good day.
I think I'm entitled to that and I haven't forbidden anything to her, its only now she's 5 and the play dates are really increasing that I'm somehow going to have to make some kind of a stand as I have a right to.
Alongcome_moi you're quite a contradiction, on the one hand you aren't bothered with the scales and yet you're looking at my weight stats (ever occur to you I've been on MFP for ages and have no idea what I have set as my goal weight or whether I even bother logging it?). and really,, she's going to hate me, because as a parent I decide to try and set some boundaries for her eating habits because as a 5 year old she may not quite have the ability to judge for herself?Fine, let her hate me, I'm her mum not her BFF (well actually I'm both right now but true, sooner or later I might have to choose between being a parent and being a BFF ).
Like I say, really amazing on MFP of all places people find it offensive that I feel I should have the right to influence my child's eating habits. I dont' judge my friends but I am pretty frustrated I have to say that they are unwittingly influencing my child's eating habits.
Maybe they're offended with me for making their kids eat potatoes and only giving them yoghurt for dessert!!!

Mustang_Susie

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

pluckabee

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

I was that type of child and I will tell you right now there was nothing on this earth that would have made me eat food I didn't like.

I was underweight and wouldn't eat for days at a time. I had very few safe foods that I would eat

I didn't throw tantrums about it. I just flat out didn't eat anything. I didn't do it to try and wait out my parents to get junk food or whatever. I just didn't care if I went hungry. I would throw tantrums at other times, probably because I was hungry, but I didn't really have normal hunger cues back then to understand the connection.

A parent faced with this situation is going to feed their child something that they will eat.

lilac67

I guess for play dates and visits you should speak with the adults and ask if everyone could agree on healthier snacks. If you are close enough to these people to trust your child around them, then you should be able to be honest with them. If you don't feel you can.....you bring a snack for the kids. Graham crackers, string cheese, apples, maybe.

I have been lucky with my son and our teachers. We all take turns sending snacks to school and the teacher asks for healthy snacks except for holidays and birthdays. It works out nicely. It sure can't hurt to try. It shouldn't be your child's responsibility to always decline. If you put it to them right it becomes a choice.

My son's school offered chocolate milk everyday at school. I asked him his favorite day at school, he said Friday, so Friday is "chocolate milk day". ---It's funny because as a kid that was the only we had chocolate milk at school. He can have a soda at a friend's house....but just one, he decides when. My son is very physically fit and isn't overweight, and I am thankful. I wasn't so lucky, and I still struggle, but that is MY struggle--not his--.

dandelyon

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

My son is on the autism spectrum and eating can be a real challenge. Unlike the OP's child, he isn't well behaved and easy to take out in public. But he does eat a lot of healthy foods, if he didn't, I would seek help from our pediatrician. It seems like a recipe for disaster to take a child with tantrum behaviors, and give them food that doesn't fuel their body. Learning self control and developing an attention span is hard work for some kids and I happen to think food without nutrients is going to make that work harder for them.

My son and I have conversations about how his tummy and brain feel after he's eaten poorly. He woke up one Saturday morning and ate half a bag of chocolate chips for breakfast. I sat down and had him do his math homework. He learned that a healthy breakfast makes math easier. Having a kid who has a hard time making good decisions, I have been really proud of him as he learns to choose the apples and broccoli when we go out to eat. Maybe that is why I'm a little sensitive when friends and family tell him it's fine to have chips and kool aid for dinner.

ninerbuff

Lol, "junk" food isn't bad for kids if they are still getting in their macros. Why is there an obesity issue? Single obvious answer: Over consumption.
There are lots of kids that eat a lot of processed foods and aren't overweight/obese.
It's great that your kid follows what you think is a great eating pattern, but don't ridicule how others deal with their own. You don't like your kid eating that stuff, then don't let her go to parties or engage with people that do. Go find, "healthy" eating parents you can hang out with.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

lilac67

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.