children's diet and the obesity crisis

PapaverSomniferum

My daughters are exceptionally fit and healthy.

About a year ago, my 10 year old started packing on pounds. She was spending a lot of time with family members who have sedentary lifestyles and had discovered video games at about the same time. We had a talk about how here choices were affecting her body, and how she's young enough that she can choose to be active or not. She evaluated the lifestyles of active adults and less-than-healthy adults she knew, and made appropriate choices. She learned to ride a bike (something she'd had little interest in before), began spending more time at sports during free time at school, and stopped grazing the cabinets after school for chips. She chooses apples instead of candy, if she's feeling hungry.

There have always been healthy meals set before her 5 or 6 nights a week. Those other couple nights we might have Chinese take-out or Pizza. Eating healthy is a lifestyle: NOT a prison. Food is a pleasure; NOT a chore.

Here's the ticket: I give my daughters the choice and the tools to make that change. My older daughter is only 10, but when she started getting unhealthy, we discussed nutrition, and the weight she was putting on (in a loving and non-judgemental way. she actually brought it up). There was no body shaming. No demonizing the junk food. There are still chips and ice cream at her fingertips, and she (as well as I) still eats those things.

If you act like these "treats" are some sort of forbidden, horrible thing, your child will grow up to covet the sugar and snacks. The same thing happens when your local preacher's kid hits high school and gets knocked up by the age of 16. The behavior you describe for yourself here are the things eating disorders are made of. Don't give your kid a f*cking complex.

Children are people, and given the tools to succeed, will generally choose some form of success. Whether it's your idea of success is still up for grabs.

AlabasterVerve

OP: has it occurred to you that for a special occasion such as a slumber party, the fare would be cake, ice cream, cookies and cocoa?.....waffles and other yummy sweet treats are usually slated for parties and celebrations no?

Do you really thing it's fair to judge the fact that children expect lavish treats at such a celebration? Let's not even discuss how the stress of being away from home can affect them.

Shrug. Eyes on your own paper, this sort of internal dialogue generally doesn't make it past the walls of one's home because most folks realize the complexity of such an issue.

I guess what I put didn't come out very well because I am so angry.
My daughter has now been on holiday for three weeks and she has been given chocolate, ice creams, sweets you name it EVERY DAY by other people.

My whole point is its not being kept for special treats its every time, every day. So I have to be the mean mummy and start telling her to refuse things, it's upsetting that people I know and do like, I don't know what to do, I don't want to have to have a confrontation and say next time I drop her off, please don't give her any sweets but it is all the time. And its true, some of these kids don't really understand normal food the meat and two veges kind.
I guess how do other parents feel about their kids being given junk on play dates? Is it normal is it just something that happens? The only thing I remember on playdates was normal food, a peanut butter sandwich or a glass of milk when we were hungry. Not adult sized ice creams for a 5 year old, 5 minutes after lunch was served?
I'm really surprised that people have been well extremely judgemental right back on this website of all places, I would have thought if I was worked up about something like this MFP would be the place to post!

You're not alone, OP. Any activity or event for children is seen as an opportunity to give them sweets and junk food. You might find some like minded parents on the Weighty Matters blog. He has a feature tagged "parental no" which highlights all of these occasions where children are given junk and the dilemma parents face from the "it's just one" and the "kids need treats" school of thought. I don't envy anyone trying to limit sugar in their kids diets because it really is offereed everywhere for every occasion.

http://www.weightymatters.ca/search/label/Parental No

MGwasp

"Your Child's Weight, Helping Without Harming" by Ellyn Satter. Fabulous book for parents concerned about nutrition and weight for their children. Recommended by a nutrition expert specializing in eating disorders. This is definitely worth a read if you want to pass down great eating patterns and habits.

fionarama

See I'm really confused here . On the one hand we're supposed to encourage healthy eating, in foods, childcare providers , everywhere.
On the other hand I'm a "food militant" because i don't want my daughter fed lollies, chocolate, cakes and junk every time she has a play date or goes to a school holiday club.
I'm with the guy on there who used to quote quite frequently "don't treat yourself with food, you're not a dog". I don't want her to have that culture bred into her, that food treats are part and parcel of pretty much any good day.
I think I'm entitled to that and I haven't forbidden anything to her, its only now she's 5 and the play dates are really increasing that I'm somehow going to have to make some kind of a stand as I have a right to.
Alongcome_moi you're quite a contradiction, on the one hand you aren't bothered with the scales and yet you're looking at my weight stats (ever occur to you I've been on MFP for ages and have no idea what I have set as my goal weight or whether I even bother logging it?). and really,, she's going to hate me, because as a parent I decide to try and set some boundaries for her eating habits because as a 5 year old she may not quite have the ability to judge for herself?Fine, let her hate me, I'm her mum not her BFF (well actually I'm both right now but true, sooner or later I might have to choose between being a parent and being a BFF ).
Like I say, really amazing on MFP of all places people find it offensive that I feel I should have the right to influence my child's eating habits. I dont' judge my friends but I am pretty frustrated I have to say that they are unwittingly influencing my child's eating habits.
Maybe they're offended with me for making their kids eat potatoes and only giving them yoghurt for dessert!!!

Mustang_Susie

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

pluckabee

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

I was that type of child and I will tell you right now there was nothing on this earth that would have made me eat food I didn't like.

I was underweight and wouldn't eat for days at a time. I had very few safe foods that I would eat

I didn't throw tantrums about it. I just flat out didn't eat anything. I didn't do it to try and wait out my parents to get junk food or whatever. I just didn't care if I went hungry. I would throw tantrums at other times, probably because I was hungry, but I didn't really have normal hunger cues back then to understand the connection.

A parent faced with this situation is going to feed their child something that they will eat.

lilac67

I guess for play dates and visits you should speak with the adults and ask if everyone could agree on healthier snacks. If you are close enough to these people to trust your child around them, then you should be able to be honest with them. If you don't feel you can.....you bring a snack for the kids. Graham crackers, string cheese, apples, maybe.

I have been lucky with my son and our teachers. We all take turns sending snacks to school and the teacher asks for healthy snacks except for holidays and birthdays. It works out nicely. It sure can't hurt to try. It shouldn't be your child's responsibility to always decline. If you put it to them right it becomes a choice.

My son's school offered chocolate milk everyday at school. I asked him his favorite day at school, he said Friday, so Friday is "chocolate milk day". ---It's funny because as a kid that was the only we had chocolate milk at school. He can have a soda at a friend's house....but just one, he decides when. My son is very physically fit and isn't overweight, and I am thankful. I wasn't so lucky, and I still struggle, but that is MY struggle--not his--.

dandelyon

My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

My son is on the autism spectrum and eating can be a real challenge. Unlike the OP's child, he isn't well behaved and easy to take out in public. But he does eat a lot of healthy foods, if he didn't, I would seek help from our pediatrician. It seems like a recipe for disaster to take a child with tantrum behaviors, and give them food that doesn't fuel their body. Learning self control and developing an attention span is hard work for some kids and I happen to think food without nutrients is going to make that work harder for them.

My son and I have conversations about how his tummy and brain feel after he's eaten poorly. He woke up one Saturday morning and ate half a bag of chocolate chips for breakfast. I sat down and had him do his math homework. He learned that a healthy breakfast makes math easier. Having a kid who has a hard time making good decisions, I have been really proud of him as he learns to choose the apples and broccoli when we go out to eat. Maybe that is why I'm a little sensitive when friends and family tell him it's fine to have chips and kool aid for dinner.

ninerbuff

Lol, "junk" food isn't bad for kids if they are still getting in their macros. Why is there an obesity issue? Single obvious answer: Over consumption.
There are lots of kids that eat a lot of processed foods and aren't overweight/obese.
It's great that your kid follows what you think is a great eating pattern, but don't ridicule how others deal with their own. You don't like your kid eating that stuff, then don't let her go to parties or engage with people that do. Go find, "healthy" eating parents you can hang out with.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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lilac67

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

PikaKnight

See I'm really confused here . On the one hand we're supposed to encourage healthy eating, in foods, childcare providers , everywhere.
On the other hand I'm a "food militant" because i don't want my daughter fed lollies, chocolate, cakes and junk every time she has a play date or goes to a school holiday club.
I'm with the guy on there who used to quote quite frequently "don't treat yourself with food, you're not a dog". I don't want her to have that culture bred into her, that food treats are part and parcel of pretty much any good day.
I think I'm entitled to that and I haven't forbidden anything to her, its only now she's 5 and the play dates are really increasing that I'm somehow going to have to make some kind of a stand as I have a right to.
Alongcome_moi you're quite a contradiction, on the one hand you aren't bothered with the scales and yet you're looking at my weight stats (ever occur to you I've been on MFP for ages and have no idea what I have set as my goal weight or whether I even bother logging it?). and really,, she's going to hate me, because as a parent I decide to try and set some boundaries for her eating habits because as a 5 year old she may not quite have the ability to judge for herself?Fine, let her hate me, I'm her mum not her BFF (well actually I'm both right now but true, sooner or later I might have to choose between being a parent and being a BFF ).
Like I say, really amazing on MFP of all places people find it offensive that I feel I should have the right to influence my child's eating habits. I dont' judge my friends but I am pretty frustrated I have to say that they are unwittingly influencing my child's eating habits.
Maybe they're offended with me for making their kids eat potatoes and only giving them yoghurt for dessert!!!

You say you don't judge your friends and such but your post totally comes off....judgmental. The only reason anyone is offended is because of your attitude.

PikaKnight

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

dandelyon

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Finding a new circle isn't an option but we've had some gentle but productive chats and seen some progress And honestly, MOST of my circle are enthusiastically healthy and probably consider our daily fare a bit junky, although they've never said so. :laugh:

Madame_Goldbricker

I must be a bit slow but I'm really not getting the issue that much? If you don't want your child to eat the "junk" on play dates/ trips then send a packed lunch? I'm quite surprised the organised events distribute unhealthy foods as most schools/organised play events have been subscribing to healthy eating for years now. Most children are quite capable of burning off a few extra calories anyway. I'm sorry to sound impolite but maybe this is more a personal issue for yourself.

JanetP124

I really don't have much to say about the OP other than to point out that she's not truly the bestest parent in the world until she teaches her child to self-regulate all those treats rather than just shoving everything into her mouth that is offered to her by whomever.

In other words, the problem isn't other people feeding your daughter lollies and ice cream blah blah blah blah...the problem is your daughter not saying "no thank you but I've already had my lollie treat today."

susannamarie

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

I was that type of child and I will tell you right now there was nothing on this earth that would have made me eat food I didn't like.

I was underweight and wouldn't eat for days at a time. I had very few safe foods that I would eat

I didn't throw tantrums about it. I just flat out didn't eat anything. I didn't do it to try and wait out my parents to get junk food or whatever. I just didn't care if I went hungry. I would throw tantrums at other times, probably because I was hungry, but I didn't really have normal hunger cues back then to understand the connection.

A parent faced with this situation is going to feed their child something that they will eat.

Yep. When a friend of mine was a kid, she went for 4 days without eating because her parents were bound and determined that she was going to eat what they gave her (she was also clinically underweight at this time). She had serious issues with textures of foods and would probably be diagnosed on the autism spectrum today.

Things are different when you have a child who would genuinely rather starve.

lilac67

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Finding a new circle isn't an option but we've had some gentle but productive chats and seen some progress And honestly, MOST of my circle are enthusiastically healthy and probably consider our daily fare a bit junky, although they've never said so. :laugh:

:blushing: I guess that did sound a little wrong! What I mean is that most people we are around care about us and our needs. And that you should be able to share concerns and they understand.

Thanks for being sweet and not making me feel like a total butthead :flowerforyou:

PunkinSpice79

To the OP: I applaud you for being such an involved parent. You are instilling good values in your child and teaching her to make good decisions, weighing the consequences carefully. Good job!

llstacy

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

Meh. I teach my kids that junk food isn't everyday food and that too much makes you fat and sick. We even point out the examples of that in our friends and family. They feel bad for the people who don't have good food to eat or don't know any better and that's exactly the way I want it.

Velum_cado

There could be any number of reasons people make the choices they make for how they care for their children. And while it's normal to make judgements, maybe you should consider what other people might be dealing with in their own lives and how it affects those choices. Giving your kids chicken nuggets is hardly the worst thing you can do to them.