children's diet and the obesity crisis

PikaKnight

See I'm really confused here . On the one hand we're supposed to encourage healthy eating, in foods, childcare providers , everywhere.
On the other hand I'm a "food militant" because i don't want my daughter fed lollies, chocolate, cakes and junk every time she has a play date or goes to a school holiday club.
I'm with the guy on there who used to quote quite frequently "don't treat yourself with food, you're not a dog". I don't want her to have that culture bred into her, that food treats are part and parcel of pretty much any good day.
I think I'm entitled to that and I haven't forbidden anything to her, its only now she's 5 and the play dates are really increasing that I'm somehow going to have to make some kind of a stand as I have a right to.
Alongcome_moi you're quite a contradiction, on the one hand you aren't bothered with the scales and yet you're looking at my weight stats (ever occur to you I've been on MFP for ages and have no idea what I have set as my goal weight or whether I even bother logging it?). and really,, she's going to hate me, because as a parent I decide to try and set some boundaries for her eating habits because as a 5 year old she may not quite have the ability to judge for herself?Fine, let her hate me, I'm her mum not her BFF (well actually I'm both right now but true, sooner or later I might have to choose between being a parent and being a BFF ).
Like I say, really amazing on MFP of all places people find it offensive that I feel I should have the right to influence my child's eating habits. I dont' judge my friends but I am pretty frustrated I have to say that they are unwittingly influencing my child's eating habits.
Maybe they're offended with me for making their kids eat potatoes and only giving them yoghurt for dessert!!!

You say you don't judge your friends and such but your post totally comes off....judgmental. The only reason anyone is offended is because of your attitude.

PikaKnight

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

dandelyon

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Finding a new circle isn't an option but we've had some gentle but productive chats and seen some progress And honestly, MOST of my circle are enthusiastically healthy and probably consider our daily fare a bit junky, although they've never said so. :laugh:

Madame_Goldbricker

I must be a bit slow but I'm really not getting the issue that much? If you don't want your child to eat the "junk" on play dates/ trips then send a packed lunch? I'm quite surprised the organised events distribute unhealthy foods as most schools/organised play events have been subscribing to healthy eating for years now. Most children are quite capable of burning off a few extra calories anyway. I'm sorry to sound impolite but maybe this is more a personal issue for yourself.

JanetP124

I really don't have much to say about the OP other than to point out that she's not truly the bestest parent in the world until she teaches her child to self-regulate all those treats rather than just shoving everything into her mouth that is offered to her by whomever.

In other words, the problem isn't other people feeding your daughter lollies and ice cream blah blah blah blah...the problem is your daughter not saying "no thank you but I've already had my lollie treat today."

susannamarie

I've had both type of kids.
I did not give junk to the one who wouldn't eat just so he wouldn't "starve".
I let him throw his tantrum.
When he figured out he couldn't manipulate me with his tantrum and was ready to be good, I gave him something healthy to eat.

I was that type of child and I will tell you right now there was nothing on this earth that would have made me eat food I didn't like.

I was underweight and wouldn't eat for days at a time. I had very few safe foods that I would eat

I didn't throw tantrums about it. I just flat out didn't eat anything. I didn't do it to try and wait out my parents to get junk food or whatever. I just didn't care if I went hungry. I would throw tantrums at other times, probably because I was hungry, but I didn't really have normal hunger cues back then to understand the connection.

A parent faced with this situation is going to feed their child something that they will eat.

Yep. When a friend of mine was a kid, she went for 4 days without eating because her parents were bound and determined that she was going to eat what they gave her (she was also clinically underweight at this time). She had serious issues with textures of foods and would probably be diagnosed on the autism spectrum today.

Things are different when you have a child who would genuinely rather starve.

lilac67

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Finding a new circle isn't an option but we've had some gentle but productive chats and seen some progress And honestly, MOST of my circle are enthusiastically healthy and probably consider our daily fare a bit junky, although they've never said so. :laugh:

:blushing: I guess that did sound a little wrong! What I mean is that most people we are around care about us and our needs. And that you should be able to share concerns and they understand.

Thanks for being sweet and not making me feel like a total butthead :flowerforyou:

PunkinSpice79

To the OP: I applaud you for being such an involved parent. You are instilling good values in your child and teaching her to make good decisions, weighing the consequences carefully. Good job!

llstacy

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

Meh. I teach my kids that junk food isn't everyday food and that too much makes you fat and sick. We even point out the examples of that in our friends and family. They feel bad for the people who don't have good food to eat or don't know any better and that's exactly the way I want it.

Velum_cado

There could be any number of reasons people make the choices they make for how they care for their children. And while it's normal to make judgements, maybe you should consider what other people might be dealing with in their own lives and how it affects those choices. Giving your kids chicken nuggets is hardly the worst thing you can do to them.

zyxst

Dear OP,

Thanks bunches for telling me I'm a sh!tty parent because my kid eats chicken nuggets and candies. You don't know me or my kid or our lives.

Achrya

Just had a sleepover which gave me an insight into how other people's kids eat.
So had to have a rant!
Anyone who knows my eating habits know I eat 3 pretty normal meals a day (normal to me!) dinner is normally lean meat and small handful of clean carbs with a generous portion of green veges.
My daughter eats the same. She has dessert sometimes but has been taught not to expect more than a yoghurt and also not to expect a sweet treat after every meal.
its normally subway rather than McDonalds and she is allowed one junk such as crisps or an ice cream once a week. Normally worked into an active outing such as playing in the park.
As a result she's a healthy eater eats pretty much anything - she's learnt if she doens't eat it mum doesn't really bother with alternatives and she'll have to wait to the next meal.
School holidays have come on and I am just astounded at the amount of junk being given to my daughter on playdates and even at paid childcare providers. I've decided to be a mean mamma and ban it and tell the parents I don't want her given this ****.
But its no wonder adults have no idea how to eat healthily and lose weight when the kids are not fed right.
How many times do I go into a nursery or childcare provider and realise most of the kids there have not had their breakfast? Why would you drag your child out of bed and wouldn't the first thing you do is feed them something nutritious, before you do anything else, definitely before they brush their teeth or BEFORE you expect them to leave the house????
Why do kids get their tea separately to adults, and get given "kids food" (read overprocessed chicken nuggets and fish fingers). Why do these kids not eat anything at their meal times and then 5 minutes later ask for junk (and in their own homes seemingly get it given to them, seems to be they no they needn't eat dinner as they'll get some lollies or ice cream some time anyway).
Some of these kids complain to me of sore tummy or of feeling funny (light headed). They are so not in touch with their little bodies they don't even know what being hungry is, they just know they're grumpy and tired.
My daughter is calm and cheerful always, I can take her anywhere and do anything with her and I know its because right from when she was eating solids she has been fed regularly and well with an even blood sugar level and no spikes.
anyway it bugs the hell out of me when I have a kid at my place and they won't eat ANYTHING even normal stuff like boiled potatoes or peas. And then 5 minutes later they're into their overnight bag dragging out the lollies and **** the parents had the bad manners to put in their suitcase in some ignorant idea of giving them "treats". How is that kindness/??
But it must move on, if you only eat fish fingers fries and lollies as a kid, when you're a teenager and older leaving home to fend for yourself you must only want takeaways and pizzas?
A study about cooking I read int he Sunday paper today surveying young people and they had no idea how to even boil an egg or how long it takes to cook a bacon rasher (not that 's particularly healthy either).
Rant over but sure is an eye opener.
I know we're all different but it is surprising that's for sure.

I'd be pretty annoyed if I showed up at a party and they tried to feed me boiled potatoes and peas and I'm a grown up. Thankfully I would never run in social circles with such a person, which is good since they'd clearly be judging me behind my back/on the internet.

sarahthin

It's not just food, it's good parenting in general that has declined over the last few decades.
It's about discipline and self control.
The parents don't have it themselves so they can't pass it along to their children.
It's much easier to give a child what he/she wants than to actually raise them to be disciplined, productive adults.
I'm at the tail end of the baby boomers and was raised by parents who grew up during the depression.
I ate what was on my plate or I didn't eat.
I didn't call the shots, my parents did.
I didn't throw a tantrum if I didn't get what I wanted.
And I certainly never talked back.
My parents were the authority because they knew more than I did.
Sadly, that's not the case anymore.
It's the blind leading the blind.
Call me old school, but old-fashioned parenting works.

Totally agree with you. I am from before baby boomers and that is the way wewere raised. My kids had it a little easier, I knew that not all of them liked the same things so meal time was a mixture of healthy foods that all could get their belly full on. There was always lots of fruit in the house but there was also snacks chips, popcorn and ice cream. Of my three, one still goes for all the processed things, tells me he only eats what he likes not necessarily what's good for him. The other two do a fairly good job of rovidng healthy meals. Their kids are the same way, one lives on the sweets, one on carbs and the other two very balanced. The ones kids are so picky that I can't feed them.

ladymiseryali

I assume a play-date involves "playing" and activities. She will burn off what she eats, so what is the problem? She's 5 years old FFS. If you keep on her food choices like this, it MIGHT encourage an eating disorder later in life. She eats well most of the time. A couple of weeks of treats here and there won't hurt her.

SJVZEE

There could be any number of reasons people make the choices they make for how they care for their children. And while it's normal to make judgements, maybe you should consider what other people might be dealing with in their own lives and how it affects those choices. Giving your kids chicken nuggets is hardly the worst thing you can do to them.

Yep to this! As a parent of a kid who has food sensory issues, and will in fact starve herself instead of eating something she can't tolerate, I've gotten the 'looks' and comments from other parents. They have NO idea of what we've gone through with this child (who now currently will only eat bananas and sloppy joes. Before that she'd only eat mac and cheese. And Yes, her pediatrician is aware of this). My other daughter has diagnosed IBS and is very sensitive to different foods and she's very picky with her choices. And then my 5 yr old would just rather throw his food than eat it But, I've figured out who our real friends are and who are the people we don't need in our lives

CoderGal

in for judgy McJudge pants!

DragonSquatter

Didn't we have a thread about this same thing yesterday or the day before?

n3verlettingmyselfgo

I agree and disagree with this. Yes, i think it is awful that SOME kids will eat and eat junk food all day long, and their parents will just sit back and let it go on. However, i don't think this is actually the case with these people you are talking about. If you do not allow your child the occasional treat, or some sweats on special occasions, then when she grows up, she is going to want to eat more and more of it, because she was starved of it as a child. This is the same with most other things, and it's FACTUAL. Like alcohol. If you strictly DO NOT under ANY circumstances allow your 14 - 17 year old have a glass of alcohol on special occasions, when they are allowed to make their own decisions, they are more likely to go crazy on the things they were deprived of, and a study has shown this. It sounds to me like, your dieting habits are being passed on to your daughter and it's not fair on her. Everything is okay in moderation, and you shouldn't deprive her of treats now and again, just because of your expectations.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

Meh. I teach my kids that junk food isn't everyday food and that too much makes you fat and sick. We even point out the examples of that in our friends and family. They feel bad for the people who don't have good food to eat or don't know any better and that's exactly the way I want it.

I'm sure your friends and family are thrilled that you and your children pity them.

CooperSprings

I grew up poor and hungry.
Now when I have food I binge on it.
The kids have treats at everyone else's house.
They hate my fruit for snacks rule & have a habit of whining over their regular food.
I wish they had grown up with me in my home.
They would never whine about onions or feta in their salads.
But then they wouldn't know how to get a hold of themselves mentally when they're presented with food.
It's a tough balance, in the end.
I'm sure that we all do our best, for our children's sake.

dandelyon

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Finding a new circle isn't an option but we've had some gentle but productive chats and seen some progress And honestly, MOST of my circle are enthusiastically healthy and probably consider our daily fare a bit junky, although they've never said so. :laugh:

:blushing: I guess that did sound a little wrong! What I mean is that most people we are around care about us and our needs. And that you should be able to share concerns and they understand.

Thanks for being sweet and not making me feel like a total butthead :flowerforyou:

I got the gist of it

rosemaryhon

It's not just food, it's good parenting in general that has declined over the last few decades.
It's about discipline and self control.
The parents don't have it themselves so they can't pass it along to their children.
It's much easier to give a child what he/she wants than to actually raise them to be disciplined, productive adults.
I'm at the tail end of the baby boomers and was raised by parents who grew up during the depression.
I ate what was on my plate or I didn't eat.
I didn't call the shots, my parents did.
I didn't throw a tantrum if I didn't get what I wanted.
And I certainly never talked back.
My parents were the authority because they knew more than I did.
Sadly, that's not the case anymore.
It's the blind leading the blind.
Call me old school, but old-fashioned parenting works.

oh good grief - "kids today, not like when I was a kid"...mantra has been around since the beginning of time. Most often used by the childless.

Hear, hear, ITA.

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates

Most of the young parents I come in contact with are doing a pretty good job of it.

astartig

I think the OP is right. She isn't saying all people are like that just a lot adn they are. People seem to equate junk food and not saying no to sweets as love. it's wrong.

it IS the reason we have a growing obesity problem.

rather than get mad or angry look at the big picture. it's a real problem in america.

YaGigi

I absolutely agree with you. I was shocked when I first come to the USA and saw he you feede kids. No good veggies or fruits, only processed fake food like pizza. How giving pizza to a three years old child can be good?!

In my country the outline of the diet for kids is developed by the governmental authorities. And all school and kids care have to follow the outlines. Every school has professional nutritionist developing the weekly diet.

Generally it's food that would be easy to digest but would have all the necessary nutritionistfor the growing child. It's often oatmill for breakfast. For lunch it's always light healthy soup and protein with veggies, Brown rice or wholewheet pasta. For dessert it's usually fruits.

No soda, no pizza, no fake food like mcnuggets (is there really chicken there? I doubt).

I actually felt bad for those kids I saw,what kind of health issues they'd have as adults, and really bad setting habits.

Jenn010101

Ugh I hear this argument all the time!!!! Two of my best friends both have 5 year olds but their parenting is on both ends of the spectrum. One friend has had weight issues all her life so she is much more strict with what she places on her daughter Lily's plate (the chicken and 2 types of veggies and mashed potatoes type) whereas my other friend lets her daughter Maggie pick her meals and they always seem to be boxed pizzas or frozen dinners, canned alphaghetti etc. She says she doesn't mind continually giving her processed foods because at her age she will always run off the calories and that since she works all day she doesn't have the time to make a "proper meal". At this age, Lily is learning that eating good food will help her grow taller and run faster than the other kids on the playground which is promoting the good food. Lily also knows that treats are for special occasions and not daily snacks. Maggie on the other hand doesn't drink any water because it has no flavor,prefers pop with all her meals and thinks that anything in the cupboard is fair game for snacks (I was over the other day and had a tantrum because she couldn't have chocolate cake for dessert because there just wasn't any left ) and is now addicted to computer games. It really surprises me when I have them both kids over at my place and Lily will run around the playground for hours while Maggie just pouts and kicks dirt around wanting to go home and watch TV because running around "makes her tired". I just hope that my children understand the benefits of good food and have an active lifestyle. I may be about 10 pounds from my ideal weight but I feel that teaching kids the benefits of healthy eating, regular exercise and that treats are ok once in a while might be a way to solve the obesity crisis.

randomtai

Paragraphs would work wonders. Just saying.
Also mind your own business and raise your own kids to hate you. :flowerforyou:

morticia16

I agree with the OP. How can an adult have healthy food habits if they were raised on heaps of processed foods. I don't know, could be that I'm from Europe, but the notion of so many posters here implying that processed foods are part of growing up and a normal part of a child's diet really surprises me. I mean, I was not raised on fast food, don't like Macs and similar, yeah, have love for pizzas and pasta, they are culturally part of the environment where I come from, and I can only say I am grateful for my parents on how they took care of my diet since I must say, resetting my eating habits back to what is healthy for me isn't a process of denying myself. Feels more like eating foods I was raised on, so it's pretty much comfy and yummy.

Edit to add: No, I don't have children. So I took the post from an adult's perspective and not from the parenting point of view.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

My parents were pretty balanced I think. We had pizza and ice cream regularly, but they also had a garden and we ate a ton of veggies and home cooked meals. I never fell for any fad diets and the like because I just grew up knowing that over-consumption is what leads to weight issues (I don't even remember my parents ever talking about it, it's just something I knew) so when I started to have weight issues I knew what to do.

I think that like discussions of adult diet this one has a very polarized feel-- people seem to think that the two available options are a constant barrage of junk or a completely healthful restricted diet. I think the truth for most of us is closer to the middle.

OP your post was poorly received because of your tone. You sound very judgmental of other parents. If you had approached it as "I don't mind my kids having treats but it has been every day this summer. What can I do to make sure their diet is more balanced when they go on play dates?" I think you would have fared better.

llstacy

Dandelyon, kudos to you! If you explain to the adults in "your circle" about mindless snacking and the negative effects it has on your child, they should be careful what they give as snacks, if they don't.......maybe it's time to find a new circle. Thanks for your post.

Yep. Limiting your children's experiences is so the way to go [/sarcasm] And by limiting, I don't mean by food, but how they deal with people who live differently from them. this sounds like one way to teach a kid intolerance by saying they can't hang out with certain kids because they don't eat the way they do.

And hey, friendships are fleeting right? any excuse to get rid of those that will not follow your way, eh?

Meh. I teach my kids that junk food isn't everyday food and that too much makes you fat and sick. We even point out the examples of that in our friends and family. They feel bad for the people who don't have good food to eat or don't know any better and that's exactly the way I want it.

I'm sure your friends and family are thrilled that you and your children pity them.

I don't care. We love them and care about them but their choices are making them fat and sick. Live and let live but my children know if they have a bottle of soda in their hand all day they can expect to be an overweight diabetic like Grandmom. Or if they eat like their cousins they can expect a mouth full of cavities that all of the brushing and flossing in the world won't fix. Or they'll be too fat and out of shape to enjoy the amusement park.

What they do with that knowledge is up to them but it's my job to make them aware of the consequences of eating like a lot of the people around them do. Sorry, just because it's normal doesn't mean it's right.

Francl27

I see both sides. I agree with OP that there are limits, and I'd never personally send junk food with my kids to a sleepover... I'd teach them to eat what is served and say thank you.

I probably wouldn't serve boiled potato if my kids had a sleepover though (peas? no problem here). And they do have junk food a few times a week (although not candy bars etc). I believe that forbidding it is more dangerous long term than moderation, personally.

And yes, I have kids... 5yo twins who go to bed hungry if they don't eat dinner (and they have the same thing we do).