How do you stop yourself from doing the wrong thing you want to do?
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I think it really sounds like counseling might help you. I sort of hate being "that person" who says so, but I know counseling helped me to identify some areas where I was self-sabotaging.
I know that's not an option for everyone.
My other advice is to set yourself up for success, as cliche as it may sound. Buy the single serving cookies. I do that with Oreos. I get the double Stuf six-in-a-pack that is still pretty high calorie, and a milk, and I go to freakin' town because I know if I bought a big package of Oreos, I would be in them time & time again for a week until they were gone. Even though I wouldn't eat them all at once, it would still be a detriment to my nutritional goals.
Everyone has their stuff that they tend to overeat. My husband's thing is ice cream. This means we go out for single scoops and the occasional sundae, but we never have a big container of ice cream in our freezer. Ideally, yes, we would both have excellent self-control and either not have ice cream at all, or be able to make a gallon last for a month plus...sometimes that isn't reality.
Good luck with your goals.2 -
I cut out my trigger foods. Cheese, pizza, crackers. I know I would eat the whole thing. It's easier to just live without them. Chew on ice, cucumbers, nuts. Basically I subsitute with a healthier option. I feel better eating a bowl of berries instead of a bowl of ice cream.2
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Two thoughts, OP. I've been in your shoes so many times....
1. Buy the cookies and on the way to the car at the grocery store, empty half the cookies into the parking lot trash can. I know it feels like a waste of money, but it does help with portion control. Can't eat it if it's in the trash! Another option if you have a bit more willpower would be to bring a big ziploc bag with you - when you get to the car, fill the ziploc bag with cookies and put in your trunk (this is key so you don't snack while driving). The next day, take the cookies from the trunk and drop off in the break room at work.
2. Read "Brain Over Binge" - this book was recommended on another forum post. Though I personally do not classify myself as a binge eater, I do have those occasional days maybe once a month (likely related to TOM) where I simply feel out of control and go 1000-1500 calories over my budget. Reading this book put things into perspective about the animal brain (you deserve those cookies because F the world) trying to override the logical brain (you shouldn't eat those cookies because you have a larger goal in mind).
Best of luck! Hope this feedback helps. Personally, it's not cookies for me but a big box of assorted chocolates.... it's hard to break the habit, but I am making good progress by enlisting the above to minimize damage when it happens and avoid the purchase altogether when I have the right mindset.5 -
Stay out the store I would say. I don't think it has anything to do with being "heavy set" . Its just hard adapting to a new lifestyle change. People of all shapes and sizes eat junk food all the time it's just good and addictive it's normal . When I started losing weight i had that issue but I stop eating junk food because I knew it would just make me worse . Losing weight and looking at the scale is motivating trust me just eat some fruits . Peanuts . Yogurts . And as you see the scale going down you won't even care you'll be soo much happier you didn't get those cookies .1
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When I buy stuff like that, it usually doesn't even make it home. I'm tearing into the bag on the drive home. I still do it sometimes, but rather than a whole package of Oreos, I get the kids pack. It's still 400 calories that makes me feel like crap, but better than 4000.4
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When I buy stuff like that, it usually doesn't even make it home. I'm tearing into the bag on the drive home. I still do it sometimes, but rather than a whole package of Oreos, I get the kids pack. It's still 400 calories that makes me feel like crap, but better than 4000.
Same here! I think the one I get is 360 or something. The lady at the convenience store knew me for awhile when I would get it once or twice a month, haha...the Oreo pack and a small milk. She tried to upsell me a bigger package of cookies and I said to her, "Nah, if I have 64 Oreos I'll probably eat them all. Better to have six or eight" hehe1 -
Before you go food shopping: 1) Have a list - and say "i'm only getting what is on my list", 2) Drink a glass or large cup of water before you go to the super market (sometimes we think we are hungry when in fact we are thirsty).
While you are shopping: 1) ONLY Go down the aisles you must go to (you obviously know where the cookie section is)-->AVOID THAT SECTION even if you *think* you have to - you don't -you KNOW this -- don't say "explicative" to your body/health because when you think you're saying a big ol' *explicative* to the world you are in fact saying *explicative* to yourself.
Treat yourself to your achievement of not buying the cookie by doing something for yourself that is positive--> rent that movie you've been wanting to see, go out with your wife, etc. --> treat your body like a temple not a playground.
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What helps me is looking at the serving and how many calories it has. Not ever going back to not caring about the calories. I remind myself that it's empty calories. I can have some fruit or something healthier. Not worth it, that cookie don't control you, you control the cookie.4
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Hi. I dont gice into my cravings except on cheat days. And even then, a cheat day osnt about eating as much as you can and bkowung your calories out of the water; it is about having something you don't normally hace that may not be as good for you.
This sounds like a self control issue. What i would do is this. Next time you have a craving while in the store, put the box of cookies down, walk over to the bakery section and buy 1 or 2 cookies. Make sure you track them. Enjoy them slowly and make it a goal to do it only once a month. Goos luck, you got this!3 -
I have read that willpower is just like a muscle--you need to exercise it and strengthen it. Be careful of how you talk to yourself even when you still buy the cookies!! Break it down into small steps, such as "well I still bought them but at least I had a debate in my head about it and was cognizant and aware--that's a good first step". I've also read that if you apply willpower in maybe less emotionally-charged (or probably biologically-driven like hunger or perceived hunger) areas, as willpower strengthens in those areas you can use it to apply to your weight loss and healthy eating goals. That really works. Also put less pressure on yourself for reaching your goals quickly or "being perfect" along the way--slow and steady works!
I have to say staying perfect with your tracking really helps too. If a cookie or a few cookies or a box of cookies mess up your calorie day and you are diligent with tracking, it usually doesn't take long to make a significant and motivating connection that the cookies just aren't worth it if you see your "in 5 weeks you will weigh xyz" or that now you spent your calories on empty food and are still hungry. It was amazing to me to finally have this click after all this time (i'm a much more live in the moment person). When I'm tracking (every day), it has given me willpower to avoid unnecessary treats and save up for treats I really want for my cheat meal or cheat day. There are times when I bypass 'today' now and postpone the naughty food for cheat day. Then sometimes I've either forgotten about the naughty food or am no longer that interested. Lastly, if it's sugary stuff that you have struggle with willpower-wise, I would highly recommend really reducing the sugar in your diet altogether because once you do, for me & others apparently, you don't crave it. Good luck!4 -
I only grocery shop with cash now, and a list. I still budget for things I enjoy eating, but that now means 1 bag of Fritos instead of 3 etc. I give myself permission to go home and eat the entire bag, but then I won't have any for the next 2 weeks, since I only get groceries twice a month. Since I enjoy eating them with my lunch, I portion the bag out to last the 2 weeks most times. When they're gone, they're gone.
And along with that-I stay out of the store except for my designated twice a month trips. I had a really bad habit of stopping in 3-4 times a week to pick up a 'couple' things, and would always walk out with unplanned items that I'd then eat. If you're not at the store you can't buy the cookies.1 -
I can relate. I too have very little self control when it comes to cookies. And like you it's a big fat F-you to the rest of the world--I am a big girl, I will eat whatever I damn please. But then I realize, no, I am an adult--get ahold of yourself. A few things that have helped me NOT buy them--I am in total agreement with the DO NOT bring them into the house. You only have to say no the one time at the store. One trick--I make the list but my husband goes to the actual store and I tell him do NOT buy cookies/chips whatever and he does not. He sticks to the list. So no cookies in the house. Can you have your wife shop to break that cycle? If you made a list would you be able to stick to it? Even write on the list DO NOT BUY COOKIES maybe. Another trick--I started ordering groceries online with Amazon fresh. That also helps a lot. It is much harder to impulse buy online. I also concur with the poster above who suggested counseling. No judgement, but it might help get to the root of the issue. All the tricks in the world aren't going to get at what's really bugging you.1
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I replace it with another treat. Whether thats more or less expensive doesn't matter to me. If buying a really good peach or two will keep me from the cookies then I'll buy the peaches. It's easier for me to feel satisfied eating the peaches and I like them a lot!1
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Thank you for posting this. And yes, I can seriously relate. One thing that helps me is to make a list of all the reasons I don't want to do that and maybe a few empowering sentences about how you're stronger and smarter than the cookies - on an index card or piece of paper. Stick it in your wallet. Then, just promise yourself you'll take it out and read it BEFORE you put the cookies in the cart. If it doesn't work right away, tell yourself you'll come back around to that aisle later if you still want them and then read it again. Find some way to delay the impulse. I'm with you though...once I get them home....I eat them!!! :-/ Also, I have bought cookies (or other crap), got them out of the store and managed to trash them in a public trash can before I got home. It's $$ down the drain, but better that than fat!1
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I often find myself in the grocery store, staring at the box of cookies, knowing that if I buy the box of cookies, I will get it home, and then eat the whole thing basically by myself over the next day or two.
How do you...not? How do you not buy the cookies?
I stopped buying the cookies when my doctor told me my cholesterol was so high I was at risk of a heart attack or stroke. He also wanted me to go on blood pressure meds. There's nothing like very real, scary health problems to take the fun out of eating a package of cookies. I lost 40 pounds and have kept it off since Nov. 2016 because I keep remembering what the doctor said.
Three things:
For myself, I had a very clear, no-crap idea of where I needed to go with my health and weight loss. You have to find your own reason.
The second thing is I did cut sweets like cookies and other trigger foods out of my life. I can't control myself, so I don't buy them. Some people feel deprived and then binge if they do this, but I don't have that problem. It was hard the first couple of weeks, but then I got over it. (And I did not allow myself to walk into the cookie aisle and stare at the boxes - instead, I would get an amazing takeout salad or something else as a treat).
The last thing is I still needed treats. My treats are fruit and vegetables. Yes, they have sugar, but I'm able to control myself there, mostly. I'll buy apples, but not grapes, because I will eat all the grapes just like cookies.
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Lots of good advice above. Whichever way you choose to go about overcoming this problem, be sure to give yourself lots of credit along the way. You have practiced this pattern of giving in and buying the cookies for a while now (sounds like it anyway) so you're going to practice not giving in if you want to stop doing it.
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I can relate, OP. I did that kind of thing a lot more before I started counting calories. I did it less when I started counting, but I'd still get that IDGAF attitude maybe once a month and binge and try to start fresh the next day. Once I started counting even the binges, I turned the corner. I still eat stuff I hadn't planned on occasion, but it's dramatically less calories (a couple hundred vs. thousands) and I adjust the rest of my day or the next day to make it fit. Plus now that I know I'm going to log it all in a "sober" moment, fitting it in means cutting back on something later which I won't be thrilled about later. That knowledge is often enough to convince me to hold off and wait it out. Good luck to you. Practice does make it better.2
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Lately I've stopped myself from having anything sugary by drinking a small smoothie.
But...I couldn't stop myself from ordering Chinese noodles today and paid the price. About 15 minutes after eating I got violently sick.
So I'm very put off by crappy food now.2 -
I often find myself in the grocery store, staring at the box of cookies, knowing that if I buy the box of cookies, I will get it home, and then eat the whole thing basically by myself over the next day or two.
One last thing, If/when you buy them again when you were conflicted about it, you can always throw them away on the drive home -- pull over somewhere and put them in a trashcan or throw them out the window for the birds.
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Yup! There are some foods that are trigger foods for me as well, so I avoid them until I feel safe enough to reintroduce them slowly into my diet. Though some foods are still on the "no touchy" list.
-Rice was completely avoided but can now be handled every once in a while
-Buns/bread were avoided but can now be handled
-Haggen Dazs icreceam cant be touched
-Taiwanese Pineapple cake be touched
-Gummy bears (and other gummy candies) can't be touched.
Why can't be touched? Because once I start I will eat the whole bag/box/pint. I have zero portion control for those foods. And maybe as my journey continues I will get to a point where I feel safe enough to take the risk, like I did with rice, and discover that I can have just 1 or 2 and stop, but today is not that day.
You ask how we do it, how we say "no" and walk away. Honestly, some days I drag myself away kicking and screaming in my head. Desperately wanting it but yelling at myself, "No!" On the outside you would never be able to tell the struggle going on within. It doesn't mean it's not happening.
But on these days I just tell myself that I want to be healthy more. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
On other days I don't even want it because I feel like I'm rocking my journey. Strength is up, weight is down, butt looks good, and I'm happy with my yummy mom-trigger foods.
I think that the farther into it you get the easier it will become. For now though you are just going to have to know what you want and WANT IT. Want it so badly you can taste it. And then do what you have to do in order to focus on that goal.3 -
Here are some strategies that I find useful for doing the food shop, some of which other members have already suggested:
1) The most important for me is to make sure I'm not hungry when I go food shopping.
2) Plan your meals for the week ahead, write a shopping list out for exactly what you need and stick to it. This saves time, money and calories!
3) Avoid the aisles with the less healthy options, don't even use them as a short cut!
4) Do not bring saboteurs with you to the supermarket (in my case, my boyfriend or my nephew, they are both bad influences!)
5) Have what you enjoy in moderation. I can eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's on my own, no problems. So I never buy ice cream for my home, instead I only eat ice cream when I go to my parent's house for dinner (roughly every 3 weeks, my mum has the most amazing ice cream selection in the world) or if I go out to eat at an Italian restaurant where they serve gelato. I find you enjoy these foods more when you aren't eating them just because they are there.1 -
I can relate. For a very long time I was where you were and could have written your entry, OP. I felt trapped by my habits and desires. I still occasionally have calorie blowouts nowadays, but they are exceptions. After a "bad day" I pick right back up with my good habits.
Here are some things that worked for me:
- Set a healthy calorie budget (which includes daily indulgences) and committing to stick with it. By doing this I was able to train myself to resist foods that I couldn't fit in my budget. My wife introduced me to the phrase "not worth the calories", and it's a useful concept. "I could have that cookie, but then I couldn't have that bottle of Zombie Dust that's chilling in the fridge."
- Understand how many calories are in things. I used to buy and eat a whole can of cashews for my evening commute - that's something like 1500 calories! I can't go back to that knowing that that's the equivalent of a half-pound of fat.
- Daily exercise, including eating back all my exercise calories. It's harder to "blow it" when you're also blowing all the exercise you did too.
- Avoid temptations, if possible. Maybe you should skip the grocery store for a while.
- Practice man, practice.
Great reply.
In addition, you CAN have the cookies... occasionally.
MFP lets you view your weekly calorie consumption. (In the Nutrition section of the app.)
You can have a blowout one day, so long as your deficit the rest of the week makes up for it.2 -
Can you buy cookies that come wrapped in small packets? My sister buys cookies from Costco that are in packs of two - they are luxury biscuits (like you get in a good hotel - high calorie but delicious!) but she puts the box on a high shelf so if she wants them she has to get her step stool out, get up (you get the idea!).
If I really want something and it doesn't fit into my calorie goals for the day, I don't fool myself "I'll be good tomorrow". I say, "What will I NOT have today to make up for it?" So cookies or wine, crisps or chocolate, whatever is in my plan. If I decide no, I've got to have everything, I check the calories and work out how much exercise I need to do to cover the calories - 20 mins of sit-ups and press-ups is not even enough for a 2-bar kitkat, it takes 25 mins of aerobics to "buy" TWO chocolate digestives.
Also look in the mirror, paying particular attention to the bits sticking out of your clothes.
There is a reason we need MFP to get into shape - if we had perfect willpower we wouldn't have got fat in the first place!1 -
What do you do when you DO eat all the cookies? Do you log them?
If not, you absolutely need to.
Eating cookies is not something that 'happens' to you. It's a choice. On some level, you believe that it's worth it. So to have any chance of changing that behaviour, you need to fully experience the consequences of that choice.
It may only take a few occasions of logging the calories for a full pack of cookies before you start to feel a bit differently about them.3 -
Giving into temptation always involves several steps. You can stop it at any of them.
Don't go down the cookie aisle. Take a step away from the cookies. Use a snap band. Make your wife do the shopping. Freeze the cookies when you get home. Pray. Buy a single serving package instead.
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »What do you do when you DO eat all the cookies? Do you log them?
If not, you absolutely need to.
Eating cookies is not something that 'happens' to you. It's a choice. On some level, you believe that it's worth it. So to have any chance of changing that behaviour, you need to fully experience the consequences of that choice.
It may only take a few occasions of logging the calories for a full pack of cookies before you start to feel a bit differently about them.
Yep. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Your OP shows you're getting there.3 -
I literally stand in the isle, reading the nutritional info on the back, get angry that I can't afford to eat it and then walk away dejectedly haha. I do this every time I shop but I always feel really satisfied after I leave the store.
Don't give up what you want for what you want right now.2 -
if I have this urge then I think about what I'm urging most about it, and see if I find a tiny package within my allowance. I had a small bag of somewhat luxury crisps yesterday. Sure it eliminated 200kcal of my 300kcal deficit, but I did not eat above maintenance. And I enjoyed it.2
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I allow myself something indulgent every day and make sure it fits my calories. It works most of the time but I have the occasional day where I will buy the cookies and eat them!
If I have a 'treat' every day then it becomes sort of less desirable, or less like I have to eat an entire box of whatever because I feel deprived. I just have to figure out what I can have in the house without eating too much at one time, and I don't always get it right. It's definitely a learning curve as to what is going to work for you.1
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