If my fiance brings home one more package of Oreo's, I might go full-rage.
_NicLovin_
Posts: 121 Member
I love my darling partner, but he doesn't get it. He's fit, trim, can eat whatever he wants, and has a sweet tooth that would make Willy Wonka cringe. I'll say this up front, because this could absolutely be an unfair request that I've made of him: I've asked him to stop bringing home sweets (i.e cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc.) in order to help support my need to change my eating habits. He graciously goes to the farmers market with me, spends time exercising with me, and overall is very wonderful. That being said, I keep finding family-size packages of Double Stuffed Oreos in our pantry. I jokingly told him to find a better hiding spot, thinking that it's probably not too fair to make him suffer the loss of junk food with me, but I'm telling you - the jealousy I have around his ability to eat whatever he wants and not gain weight is making me silently rage! I'm currently doing Whole30, and in the beginning stages of detox/sugar withdrawal, and I swear it's making me go into "Beast Mode." Endy ranty rant here to confront cookie package with kitchen knife, a la Inigo Montoya - "...prepare to die."
22
Replies
-
Hah, that's rough. My husband also has a crazy sweet tooth, but thankfully I go for salty and savory snacks, not sweet, so I don't have to worry about temptation. For real though, don't feel bad about asking him for help! You two are in this big crazy life thing together, and you being healthy is good for him too!5
-
Ask him to keep any sweets at his desk at work. He can eat them, but you don't have to confront them every time you open the cupboard. One time when I was doing Atkins I told my husband, "You can eat what you want at lunch. But at home, it's going to be low carb." I figured what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me, and he needed to lose weight as well, so eating a simple meat and veggie diet at home wasn't going to hurt him. It worked, as we both lost weight.6
-
My husband has a cabinet for all his foods. I don't open it, plus he doesn't have to worry about me eating something that he is looking forward to having. I know it's there, but thinking of it as "his food" keeps me from eating it.
At the end of the day, we're going to be surrounded by food that we will need to turn down in order to meet our calorie goals. While it's challenging sometimes to have it in our homes, I didn't think it was fair to tell him that he couldn't have his favorite snacks or that his way of life had to change just because I was struggling to moderate my weight.45 -
Ugh, see, I'm the one with the huge sweet tooth. And also the one who's trying to lose more weight. My partner can care less about sweets and is more into savory food. I love savory food too, but put a delicious donut or cookie in front of me and I'm screwed! lol The beast comes out in me too when I don't have sugar in a certain amount of time. How do you guys abstain?1
-
I assigned mine a cabinet and fridge drawer to keep his junk food in. I have actually considered checking the prices of safes that will fit mutliple clamshell boxes of croissants.17
-
From what I've read about that particular fad diet it is more likely you are hangry than in "detox" (not a real thing) or "sugar withdrawal" (also not a real thing).32
-
Oreos are hard for me to moderate. But it has gotten better. I usually only have them in the house when my son is home and then I hide them where I cannot see them. It sounds like your fiance is pretty supportive, so maybe just ask him to hide them from you. It is unfair to ask him not to have them just because you can't. And honestly I would recommend fitting an oreo or two into your day occasionally. If you know you can have one after dinner occasionally then you may not crave them as much. At least that is what works for me. YMMV7
-
hmm.. http://a.co/eMHBDzX (bwahaha- solution)3
-
Another vote for the separate cabinet approach.
You need a long term solution... long term enough to encompass marriage (hopefully a long, long time) and possibly children. Lemme tell you, kid snacks are every bit as tempting. Unless you want to be "that parent" that banishes snack food which I don't advice since kids do need to learn to moderate themselves with that stuff. Unless you live and work alone, you will be facing temptations on the regular. Relying on others to change their pattern isn't a very reliable strategy.
The strategy that works best for me is planning treats I really & truly love -- more than oreos & kid snacks. It's easier to say "no" to one thing when you say "yes" to something better. Not sure how that fits into your Whole30 regimen. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you need a regimen that is a better fit to your long term strategy?12 -
35
-
My husband loves all things sweet (like me!). Fortunately he's a great deal taller than I am so I keep his "treats" in a high cupboard that I can't reach without climbing up the cabinet. It helps that I do all the grocery shopping so I try to pick out things for him that I don't particularly care about.
6 -
steelaxitute2127 wrote: »Ugh, see, I'm the one with the huge sweet tooth. And also the one who's trying to lose more weight. My partner can care less about sweets and is more into savory food. I love savory food too, but put a delicious donut or cookie in front of me and I'm screwed! lol The beast comes out in me too when I don't have sugar in a certain amount of time. How do you guys abstain?
Short answer, I don't. I mean, I don't eat as much as I used to because calories but I just had two Squiggles (cookies). Because delicious.
If moderation is the problem then all of the advice about separate cupboards etc is solid.
You couldn't pay me to do Whole 30 unless I was trying to figure out what might be giving me digestive issues (I don't have any so don't need to do an elimination diet) because I would 100% inhale my fridge at some point along the line.14 -
4
-
steelaxitute2127 wrote: »Ugh, see, I'm the one with the huge sweet tooth. And also the one who's trying to lose more weight. My partner can care less about sweets and is more into savory food. I love savory food too, but put a delicious donut or cookie in front of me and I'm screwed! lol The beast comes out in me too when I don't have sugar in a certain amount of time. How do you guys abstain?
I don't. I try my damnedest not to buy the Oreos, because I WILL eat all of them, but I eat sugar regularly. I try to keep it to a reasonable portion size, but it is my weakness. 8 -
Another vote for the separate cabinet approach.
You need a long term solution... long term enough to encompass marriage (hopefully a long, long time) and possibly children. Lemme tell you, kid snacks are every bit as tempting. Unless you want to be "that parent" that banishes snack food which I don't advice since kids do need to learn to moderate themselves with that stuff. Unless you live and work alone, you will be facing temptations on the regular. Relying on others to change their pattern isn't a very reliable strategy.
The strategy that works best for me is planning treats I really & truly love -- more than oreos & kid snacks. It's easier to say "no" to one thing when you say "yes" to something better. Not sure how that fits into your Whole30 regimen. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you need a regimen that is a better fit to your long term strategy?
I completely agree! Long term, I'm continuing to work on mindfulness and meditation as a way to moderate my relationship with food and willpower (as well as other things - work, life in general - haha); however, I think I do need to make some simple structural changes, and love the idea of planning treats, separate cupboards, and I'm learning to reward myself in other ways than food (i.e. a new dress or fun outing).
Thanks for your suggestions!3 -
Maybe try reframing how you look at it. He could gain weight. He can't eat over his maintenance level and stay the same weight. He has to eat more than you though to maintain his weight. So it is easier for him to eat high calorie foods regularly right now. If he became more sedentary he would not be able to eat exactly the same as he is now and stay the same weight.
You will get to eat less than him to maintain a healthy weight. (You can spend less money on food perhaps.)
If you had kids or other adults in your house they would have different calorie needs from you. It is how it is.
There are people who probably get less maintenance calories than you.
You don't have to do a restrictive diet to lose weight or detox. Just eat the food you like in moderation with a calorie deficit to lose weight. Be less ragey and jealous.
9 -
VintageFeline wrote: »steelaxitute2127 wrote: »
You couldn't pay me to do Whole 30 unless I was trying to figure out what might be giving me digestive issues (I don't have any so don't need to do an elimination diet) because I would 100% inhale my fridge at some point along the line.
Lol, been there before.0 -
Thanks everyone! I love the input, and very much appreciate the advice and humor. Soon, they will no longer call me the Oreo Assassin.
4 -
Yep, I get it. I told DH he needed to hide his chocolates from me. It took him awhile--he kept insisting that I should be able to just eat one or two. Well yeah, I should be able to, but at the moment I don't have the willpower.
At this point he is hiding them somewhere right by the bedroom because I can hear him rustling around. So if I really wanted, I could find them, but just having them out of sight seems to be enough. I have been dieting/lifestlye change for 6 weeks and staying away from his sweets is getting much easier.
I also have tried to encourage him to buy himself the sweets that I don't like. I love chocolate, but I don't care for non-chocolate candy and don't have a problem resisting that. Love brownies, but don't care for donuts. Love potato chips but not Doritos. So maybe there are sweets that you'd be less tempted by that he could keep in the house and the stuff you love he could mostly eat at work.6 -
Ioneda - yes! Actually, there are things that he likes that I don't - for instance, all those Entenmann's packaged sweets, which to me just taste like a weird chemical concoction gone wrong. Funny you mention hearing the rustling around - I hear the same, particularly around 1 or 2 am. Hahaha.3
-
OP, count your blessings. When I consider the outrages visited upon me by my family of dependents and moochers, I laugh at your petty annoyances.8
-
nrodriguez32730 wrote: »I love my darling partner, but he doesn't get it. He's fit, trim, can eat whatever he wants, and has a sweet tooth that would make Willy Wonka cringe. I'll say this up front, because this could absolutely be an unfair request that I've made of him: I've asked him to stop bringing home sweets (i.e cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc.) in order to help support my need to change my eating habits. He graciously goes to the farmers market with me, spends time exercising with me, and overall is very wonderful. That being said, I keep finding family-size packages of Double Stuffed Oreos in our pantry. I jokingly told him to find a better hiding spot, thinking that it's probably not too fair to make him suffer the loss of junk food with me, but I'm telling you - the jealousy I have around his ability to eat whatever he wants and not gain weight is making me silently rage! I'm currently doing Whole30, and in the beginning stages of detox/sugar withdrawal, and I swear it's making me go into "Beast Mode." Endy ranty rant here to confront cookie package with kitchen knife, a la Inigo Montoya - "...prepare to die."
You are correct it is unfair...
If you want to not eat oreos oh I don't know be an adult and say no I won't eat that????
and btw you can eat whatever you want in moderate quantities just like your husband and not gain weight...
I don't get why our partners need to change for us...esp if you won't change for him, because apparently you aren't willing to not eat his oreos...after all they are his...16 -
My wife has the unnatural ability to just eat 2 Oreos, or 3 squares of a Hershey's bar, or 1 part of a Twix, and then slowly make her way through the remainder over the course of days. On Sunday morning, I found a single Pop-Tart in cling wrap in a cabinet that I really didn't think we ever used.
I feel your pain!9 -
haha! I understand!1
-
SweatsOnSunday wrote: »My wife has the unnatural ability to just eat 2 Oreos, or 3 squares of a Hershey's bar, or 1 part of a Twix, and then slowly make her way through the remainder over the course of days. On Sunday morning, I found a single Pop-Tart in cling wrap in a cabinet that I really didn't think we ever used.
I feel your pain!
Haha, I bow at greatness of your wife's superpower!3 -
nrodriguez32730 wrote: »I love my darling partner, but he doesn't get it. He's fit, trim, can eat whatever he wants, and has a sweet tooth that would make Willy Wonka cringe. I'll say this up front, because this could absolutely be an unfair request that I've made of him: I've asked him to stop bringing home sweets (i.e cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc.) in order to help support my need to change my eating habits. He graciously goes to the farmers market with me, spends time exercising with me, and overall is very wonderful. That being said, I keep finding family-size packages of Double Stuffed Oreos in our pantry. I jokingly told him to find a better hiding spot, thinking that it's probably not too fair to make him suffer the loss of junk food with me, but I'm telling you - the jealousy I have around his ability to eat whatever he wants and not gain weight is making me silently rage! I'm currently doing Whole30, and in the beginning stages of detox/sugar withdrawal, and I swear it's making me go into "Beast Mode." Endy ranty rant here to confront cookie package with kitchen knife, a la Inigo Montoya - "...prepare to die."
You are correct it is unfair...
If you want to not eat oreos oh I don't know be an adult and say no I won't eat that????
and btw you can eat whatever you want in moderate quantities just like your husband and not gain weight...
I don't get why our partners need to change for us...esp if you won't change for him, because apparently you aren't willing to not eat his oreos...after all they are his...
I second this. It comes down to decision: you decided to lose weight. There's a whole world of temptation out there, but you decided, and good for you. Your partner's food choices, as long as he isn't taunting you with the sweet stuff, have nothing to do with yours.
That being said, please find some safe alternatives as soon as you can, because a long-term denial of desires (e.g., chocolate) can be a real mind screw. I'm not familiar with Whole30, but can you eat fruit? One piece of dark chocolate, maybe?5 -
nrodriguez32730 wrote: »SweatsOnSunday wrote: »My wife has the unnatural ability to just eat 2 Oreos, or 3 squares of a Hershey's bar, or 1 part of a Twix, and then slowly make her way through the remainder over the course of days. On Sunday morning, I found a single Pop-Tart in cling wrap in a cabinet that I really didn't think we ever used.
I feel your pain!
Haha, I bow at greatness of your wife's superpower!
I wouldn't call it a superpower - its all about goals and desire and motivation. I've been working my way slowly through a bag of mini-ghiradelli chocolates for about a month now - I have 1-2 pieces depending on what I can fit into my macros for the day; I do the same with gummy bears or other candy7 -
Not to generalize but I have just about always dated men that can eat whatever they want and all my female friends and I have to eat a certain way to not gain weight. Some things have helped in the past. I have an extra drawer that I tell myself to never open... perfect for treats. I like to have a candy dish for guests and stock it with my least favorite candies. I make healthier versions of treats for myself (and whoever wants them) to avoid a sweet tooth meltdown.
I dont know what all you can have with a whole 30 diet but there has to be something sweet you can have.2 -
nrodriguez32730 wrote: »I love my darling partner, but he doesn't get it. He's fit, trim, can eat whatever he wants, and has a sweet tooth that would make Willy Wonka cringe. I'll say this up front, because this could absolutely be an unfair request that I've made of him: I've asked him to stop bringing home sweets (i.e cookies, cakes, pies, candy, etc.) in order to help support my need to change my eating habits. He graciously goes to the farmers market with me, spends time exercising with me, and overall is very wonderful. That being said, I keep finding family-size packages of Double Stuffed Oreos in our pantry. I jokingly told him to find a better hiding spot, thinking that it's probably not too fair to make him suffer the loss of junk food with me, but I'm telling you - the jealousy I have around his ability to eat whatever he wants and not gain weight is making me silently rage! I'm currently doing Whole30, and in the beginning stages of detox/sugar withdrawal, and I swear it's making me go into "Beast Mode." Endy ranty rant here to confront cookie package with kitchen knife, a la Inigo Montoya - "...prepare to die."
You are correct it is unfair...
If you want to not eat oreos oh I don't know be an adult and say no I won't eat that????
and btw you can eat whatever you want in moderate quantities just like your husband and not gain weight...
I don't get why our partners need to change for us...esp if you won't change for him, because apparently you aren't willing to not eat his oreos...after all they are his...
It's not about 'being an adult', it's about knowing your vices and doing your best to avoid them. Some people are better at resisting than others. It's a fact that people can stick to their meal plans better when they rid their shelves of the junk.
She never said she's expecting him to change; she just said she wishes he'd hide treats better so she won't find them and be tempted.8 -
I try to talk myself down. I look up the calories. I try to contract with myself not to eat it and find a healthy or healthier alternative. For me, icecream is really tough to refuse but I try to make a frozen fruit and milk smoothie. Frozen smoothies are very enjoyable for me and not nearly the calories as icecream. I notice sometimes I am just hungry and really just need an extra meal. Other times, I feel like a sugar addict and remove myself from the situation entirely. It has gotten bettersteelaxitute2127 wrote: »Ugh, see, I'm the one with the huge sweet tooth. And also the one who's trying to lose more weight. My partner can care less about sweets and is more into savory food. I love savory food too, but put a delicious donut or cookie in front of me and I'm screwed! lol The beast comes out in me too when I don't have sugar in a certain amount of time. How do you guys abstain?
1
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions