Loneliness and weight loss.
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LearningToFly13 wrote: »LearningToFly13 wrote: »If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??
Being married wont necessarily stop you feeling lonely. Maybe being comfortable and happy in your own company and realising you're enough by yourself will make you a better partner for someone else when/if it happens. Some people feel lonely even when they're surrounded by friends and alot of people feel lonely within a marriage. Loneliness is sometimes a state of mind. Count today's blessings and make your life full now. What you don't have, you don't need right now.
This is 100% true! I realize these things, which is why I'm single by choice, and frustrating that I allow myself to get down in the dumps even when I know better! It's definitely helpful and humbling to see people's responses.
That's pretty normal. Everyone feels down about something from time to time... just don't let it overwhelm you. You're young, you're beautiful and healthy. Life still has so many possibilities for you.
Aww thank you!1 -
I am 38 and never been married. My weight being a contributing factor to that. Yes, it effects my ability to lose weight as well. I don't want to live forever if living means being the way life is now so I get depressed and wonder why bother losing weight if it's just for my health and not for anything else? 27 is super young and I hope you find someone one day, 38 on the other hand is just too old to have to start a relationship and go through all the time it takes to get to know another person and then start a family. I'd be in my 70's ushering them off to college, ridiculous.3
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If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??
got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol
my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.1 -
MystikPixie wrote: »I am 38 and never been married. My weight being a contributing factor to that. Yes, it effects my ability to lose weight as well. I don't want to live forever if living means being the way life is now so I get depressed and wonder why bother losing weight if it's just for my health and not for anything else? 27 is super young and I hope you find someone one day, 38 on the other hand is just too old to have to start a relationship and go through all the time it takes to get to know another person and then start a family. I'd be in my 70's ushering them off to college, ridiculous.
I'm sorry it hasn't happened for you yet either. I worked with a really nice lady who met her 2nd husband and got married in her upper 30s. Also one of my good friends is 42 and is in a happy relationship as of the past year. So it isn't too late!! That's why we have to be strong and take care of ourselves now, so that we will be a strong spouse in our marriage.1 -
I was married at 18 and separated at 22.. divorced at 25. Trust me.. early is NOT better! You make so many bad decisions that young. It's better to marry once you have outgrown all the selfish, unrealistic immaturitues that plague youth.1
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I never dated much, and hardly even had any girlfriends. I figured I must be one of the least desirable people ever - almost everyone I knew was married or had multiple partners. I spent a lot of time, including bitter and angry Valentine's Days, feeling sorry for myself. What was wrong with me?
Then I met her. And things just clicked. We met when I was 30, and got married 20 months later when I was 31. We're going on 20 years of marital bliss this year.
I'm older and wiser now. I'm quiet and introverted (for the most part), and realize that I had a lot to offer for the right person. There was nothing wrong with me.10 -
I never wanted to get married. Loved being on my own!! Traveled, saw the world and had wonderful adventures. Started my own business. Took classes in whatever interested me at the moment: French, Calculus, Yoga, Jewelry Making, you name it. I dated quite a bit until I was in my mid-40s, then just got tired of it. But surprise!!! Got married 2 years ago at age 60!! LOL. Never say never....13
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CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??
got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol
my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.
26 years is a long time. Oh yes, your daughter needs to stay single until she's 25 at least Lol. I only got myself in bad relationships in my early 20s. It was so bad I basically swore off men at 24. I'm still hopeful I'll find the right one though.1 -
I got married at 35 (that was 15 years ago) and we're still going strong. From a diet and nutrition standpoint, it was much easier to manage my weight when I was single. Dinner could be a peppermint patty and 4 beers or a can of corn. Plus I had all the time in the world to workout. My husband EATS, and for years I tried to keep up with him. I finally gave up.
Are you able to get a dog? They are such wonderful companions and a great way to get out and meet new people.1 -
CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??
got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol
my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.
26 years is a long time. Oh yes, your daughter needs to stay single until she's 25 at least Lol. I only got myself in bad relationships in my early 20s. It was so bad I basically swore off men at 24. I'm still hopeful I'll find the right one though.
yeah she plans on waiting. she doesnt mind being single.1 -
I got married at 35 (that was 15 years ago) and we're still going strong. From a diet and nutrition standpoint, it was much easier to manage my weight when I was single. Dinner could be a peppermint patty and 4 beers or a can of corn. Plus I had all the time in the world to workout. My husband EATS, and for years I tried to keep up with him. I finally gave up.
Are you able to get a dog? They are such wonderful companions and a great way to get out and meet new people.
It is way more convenient to cook for myself and only have to worry about satisfying my own taste buds and belly. I have 3 big beautiful dog babies
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I never dated much, and hardly even had any girlfriends. I figured I must be one of the least desirable people ever - almost everyone I knew was married or had multiple partners. I spent a lot of time, including bitter and angry Valentine's Days, feeling sorry for myself. What was wrong with me?
Then I met her. And things just clicked. We met when I was 30, and got married 20 months later when I was 31. We're going on 20 years of marital bliss this year.
I'm older and wiser now. I'm quiet and introverted (for the most part), and realize that I had a lot to offer for the right person. There was nothing wrong with me.
That's a really sweet story. God makes us wait for a reason!1 -
I got married at 29. At 27, I had no intentions of marriage or settling down. It happened to me when I least expected it. Just have fun, enjoy your life, and when you are not looking for it, it will naturally happen.Wish you all the best!1
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I'm 29 and not in a serious relationship, it took me a long time to get comfortable being single. If the person I'm dating right now breaks up with me, I know I'll be just fine, but I didn't always feel this way. It was a journey. My biggest fear is not being alone; it's being trapped in an unhealthy/abusive relationship.
I know someone amazing who started dating her current serious boo at age 33 (they are goals together), and another drop dead gorgeous, social, fun, smart woman who thought her life was over when her longtime boyfriend broke up with her when she was 28. People are single at all ages for any number of reasons and it's no reflection of character, attractiveness, etc.
Connecting it to your eating habits is actually a great step. If you know what life circumstances lead you to take worse care of yourself, you know where to start. I highly recommend therapy as a way to talk through the tough stuff; and meanwhile, focus on other aspects of your life.1 -
I will be 34 next month. I can second the feeling alone while with someone. While I wasn't married to him we were together for 10 years. It's heartbreaking to feel alone and be in a relationship. I did get a wonderful kiddo out of it and I have to say I am happier now that I am single. I don't date but I am learning to be happy with me. You have time.2
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I'm 56 and I have never been married. I love being single and I love living alone. Make yourself and your life as happy as you can be. Only you can make you happy.1
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I'm 29 and not in a serious relationship, it took me a long time to get comfortable being single. If the person I'm dating right now breaks up with me, I know I'll be just fine, but I didn't always feel this way. It was a journey. My biggest fear is not being alone; it's being trapped in an unhealthy/abusive relationship.
I know someone amazing who started dating her current serious boo at age 33 (they are goals together), and another drop dead gorgeous, social, fun, smart woman who thought her life was over when her longtime boyfriend broke up with her when she was 28. People are single at all ages for any number of reasons and it's no reflection of character, attractiveness, etc.
Connecting it to your eating habits is actually a great step. If you know what life circumstances lead you to take worse care of yourself, you know where to start. I highly recommend therapy as a way to talk through the tough stuff; and meanwhile, focus on other aspects of your life.
I'm the exact same way about being in an unhappy or abusive relationship. I would much rather be single and lonely sometimes, than be miserable in a toxic relationship. Been there done that. I want that "goals" type of relationship as well. Thanks for your kind and helpful post! 1 -
fupthesides wrote: »I will be 34 next month. I can second the feeling alone while with someone. While I wasn't married to him we were together for 10 years. It's heartbreaking to feel alone and be in a relationship. I did get a wonderful kiddo out of it and I have to say I am happier now that I am single. I don't date but I am learning to be happy with me. You have time.
I'm sorry you had to go through that heartbreak. I experienced the same thing from 18-24 with my ex. I don't have any children though. I'm glad you've found relief and peace in your singleness. I am definitely way more at peace and content being single than stuck in that old toxic and lonely relationship.1 -
I married at 34 last year. Honestly glad I didn't sooner because I didn't meet Mister Awesomesauce til I was 31 and I really wasn't a fully formed adult until 30. Sooo glad I waited. 30 was my roar year.3
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luckywizard wrote: »I married at 34 last year. Honestly glad I didn't sooner because I didn't meet Mister Awesomesauce til I was 31 and I really wasn't a fully formed adult until 30. Sooo glad I waited. 30 was my roar year.
Haha! That's great. Congratulations
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I met my husband when I was 35! Prior to meeting him I never had a relationship last more than three months. I was pretty happy single, however - it's a mindset. Focus on what is great in your life. Because while having a husband is lovely, there are definitely downsides to being married and fabulous upsides to being single. Enjoy it while you can.3
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ContraryMaryMary wrote: »I met my husband when I was 35! Prior to meeting him I never had a relationship last more than three months. I was pretty happy single, however - it's a mindset. Focus on what is great in your life. Because while having a husband is lovely, there are definitely downsides to being married and fabulous upsides to being single. Enjoy it while you can.
I think I need more hobbies lol. Thanks for sharing!0 -
I'm 28-years-old (and will actually be 29 in about a month). I've never been married. I'm on the more emotional end of the personality spectrum, so this does get me down. I know people say "you're so young" when you're in your 20s, but it's difficult when you grow-up in an area (the Midwest, in my case) where the majority of friends my age are engaged or married. I'm hopeful and look forward to experiencing getting married someday though.
I also think this has affected my eating habits. Over the past 1.5 years I believe one of the reasons I gained weight was because I was sad and finding comfort in food... unfortunately. Now I'm trying to get myself on a better path.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »You're still young...
I got married when I was 30...I'm 43 now in a couple weeks.
I have a buddy who was married in his mid twenties and divorced by 30...he remarried in his mid to late 30s.
I'd say that most people I know who married young are divorced...most people I know who married later are still together...
"Most" may be key. Married a 22 and still married at 73. And with the same man
OP you are still very young so instead of worrying about when or if you will get married, use this time in your life to learn a new trade, improve your education, grow as a person and in your professional life, travel, enjoy your single friends, volunteer, and do things that once you get married and have children you will not be able to do much or at all. Who knows, you may find the love of your life in un-expected places.
Don't use food as an excuse because it will not solve your problem. Find comfort in activities that you like to do, books to read, movies to watch, places to visit.5 -
cefleischman wrote: »I'm 28-years-old (and will actually be 29 in about a month). I've never been married. I'm on the more emotional end of the personality spectrum, so this does get me down. I know people say "you're so young" when you're in your 20s, but it's difficult when you grow-up in an area (the Midwest, in my case) where the majority of friends my age are engaged or married. I'm hopeful and look forward to experiencing getting married someday though.
I also think this has affected my eating habits. Over the past 1.5 years I believe one of the reasons I gained weight was because I was sad and finding comfort in food... unfortunately. Now I'm trying to get myself on a better path.
You sound just like me. I live in the south, and the pressure for marriage and children is high. But it's not just because I feel pressured, I genuinely desire with my whole heart to get married and have children, always have had that ache since I was a kid. Food has always been my comforter. I'm an emotional being too. I've recently come up with a new phrase with myself. Anytime I want to binge over emotions (sad, stressed, excited, bored, tired, lonely, etc) I tell myself "I am not going to punish myself today for being emotional." Punish meaning stuffing my body with the poison that is ...junk food. I take it one day at a time. It's working for me. Gotta learn to love yourself first, which is what I'm currently learning myself.3 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »You're still young...
I got married when I was 30...I'm 43 now in a couple weeks.
I have a buddy who was married in his mid twenties and divorced by 30...he remarried in his mid to late 30s.
I'd say that most people I know who married young are divorced...most people I know who married later are still together...
"Most" may be key. Married a 22 and still married at 73. And with the same man
OP you are still very young so instead of worrying about when or if you will get married, use this time in your life to learn a new trade, improve your education, grow as a person and in your professional life, travel, enjoy your single friends, volunteer, and do things that once you get married and have children you will not be able to do much or at all. Who knows, you may find the love of your life in un-expected places.
Don't use food as an excuse because it will not solve your problem. Find comfort in activities that you like to do, books to read, movies to watch, places to visit.
Thank you for the advice, ma'am. What a wonderful blessing to be married for over 50 years. I hope to accomplish that feat some day.1 -
I met my husband and fell in love when I was 18...we married 5 years later...22 years after we married I became a widow...you never know what life is going to throw at you...you think that one thing will make you happy and whole but that's not the way it works.5
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I met my husband and fell in love when I was 18...we married 5 years later...22 years after we married I became a widow...you never know what life is going to throw at you...you think that one thing will make you happy and whole but that's not the way it works.
I'm so sorry for your loss.0
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