Loneliness and weight loss.

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  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    SoozeE512 wrote: »
    I'm 31, single, and haven't so much as been on a date in 8 or 9 years. All of my siblings and friends are married or engaged to be. Many of them have kids already and don't always have time for me.

    I get that it's easy to let yourself feel lonely because you don't have what other people do (I felt that way for a few wasted years), but it's more fulfilling to go out and live your life as you want regardless of whether or not someone else is along for the ride. If/when I should find the right person for me to marry, at least then I'll be able to look back and say I did things with my life before they came along.

    Wow, so many of you are full of wisdom! I'm bad about sitting around feeling sorry for myself sometimes instead of accepting my singleness and embracing it as a blessing. Thanks!
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I was 21. It has worked well for us. HOWEVER, that is far from the norm/average these days. Most people I know are getting married in their later 20s and early 30s and I certainly know people who have gotten married later than that.

    Yes, people are getting married later and later these days. I was hoping to be married at 18 like my mom lol, I'm so glad I wasn't that young and married though. I'm glad it worked out well for you!
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    I got married at 25. Divorced at 35. Remarried before I turned 37, although I did not expect that to happen!

    You never know 100% what direction your life's gonna take. Honestly, my first marriage wasn't bad and we got along, but some of my loneliest years were with my ex husband. We were living separate lives in the same house, in many ways.

    Learning to enjoy your own company is a wonderful thing, at every age.

    So much insight on this post! I know a few couples in my family who coexist like that. It makes me sad, which is why I'm so picky and why I'm still single. I don't want to settle and be unhappy. I'm praying for my spouse. I know everyone isn't religious, but my faith definitely gets me through.
  • need2belean
    need2belean Posts: 356 Member
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    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    Girl. I got married at 29 so do not worry. My brother and sister in law got married at 34. It doesn't matter anymore. Wait until you've found that someone. I do understand the binge eating though. I didn't do it because I was lonely per se. I used to go to the bars and then get taco bell on the way home and eat it while falling asleep watching netflix because I could. There was no one there to keep me away from that and I wanted that taco bell damnt!! Now that I think about it, it could have been a lonely thing or the fact that I was just drunk and hungry. Either way. Do not give up girl.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    rundgrenrocks wrote: »
    It's a great time to get healthy and fit when you are single. You are the only person you need to take care of. It gets more difficult to prioritize yourself once a spouse, kids, and two or more extended families are in the mix.
    When I was 26 I decided to work on me. I dieted and exercised and got down to my best shape. I started doing fun things alone, like going to the movies (my last solo movie was "Groundhog Day", so it's been a while!). People started fixing me up with their friends because I looked and felt good, and that's how I met my husband. We married when I was 28 and he was 32, been married 22 years. One of the things he admired about me was my ability to be independent. He was in the Army and wanted to know I would be okay when he had to leave for weeks or months at a time. Some of my friends who married young or never lived alone still have trouble functioning and running a household.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I definitely tell myself I have to be happy and content now alone, so I can be happy and content in my marriage.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    PennStateChick wrote: »
    I'm 34 and engaged.

    Congrats!
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    KelGen02 wrote: »
    There is no time frame on marriage... I married young 23 had my first son at 25 and divorced at 27... Take your time, be selective. Learn to be happy and enjoy life on your own, being married or with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you will be happy in life. Never leave your happiness in the hands of others. I remarried at 33 and have been happily married now for 15 years. My husband and I had our third child at 36 years old. There is no time table when it comes to building a life with someone. And you certainly do not want to settle just because you feel like the clock is ticking.

    I too am an emotional eater, I had to work very hard on changing that pattern. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can do it :p Focus on you this way when the right one comes along, you will be ready and live happily ever after. <3

    Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with me! So very insightful and humbling.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    LearningToFly13 wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    Being married wont necessarily stop you feeling lonely. Maybe being comfortable and happy in your own company and realising you're enough by yourself will make you a better partner for someone else when/if it happens. Some people feel lonely even when they're surrounded by friends and alot of people feel lonely within a marriage. Loneliness is sometimes a state of mind. Count today's blessings and make your life full now. What you don't have, you don't need right now.

    This is 100% true! I realize these things, which is why I'm single by choice, and frustrating that I allow myself to get down in the dumps even when I know better! It's definitely helpful and humbling to see people's responses.
  • LearningToFly13
    LearningToFly13 Posts: 329 Member
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    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    LearningToFly13 wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    Being married wont necessarily stop you feeling lonely. Maybe being comfortable and happy in your own company and realising you're enough by yourself will make you a better partner for someone else when/if it happens. Some people feel lonely even when they're surrounded by friends and alot of people feel lonely within a marriage. Loneliness is sometimes a state of mind. Count today's blessings and make your life full now. What you don't have, you don't need right now.

    This is 100% true! I realize these things, which is why I'm single by choice, and frustrating that I allow myself to get down in the dumps even when I know better! It's definitely helpful and humbling to see people's responses.

    That's pretty normal. Everyone feels down about something from time to time... just don't let it overwhelm you. You're young, you're beautiful and healthy. Life still has so many possibilities for you.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    LearningToFly13 wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    LearningToFly13 wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    Being married wont necessarily stop you feeling lonely. Maybe being comfortable and happy in your own company and realising you're enough by yourself will make you a better partner for someone else when/if it happens. Some people feel lonely even when they're surrounded by friends and alot of people feel lonely within a marriage. Loneliness is sometimes a state of mind. Count today's blessings and make your life full now. What you don't have, you don't need right now.

    This is 100% true! I realize these things, which is why I'm single by choice, and frustrating that I allow myself to get down in the dumps even when I know better! It's definitely helpful and humbling to see people's responses.

    That's pretty normal. Everyone feels down about something from time to time... just don't let it overwhelm you. You're young, you're beautiful and healthy. Life still has so many possibilities for you.

    Aww thank you!
  • MystikPixie
    MystikPixie Posts: 342 Member
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    I am 38 and never been married. My weight being a contributing factor to that. Yes, it effects my ability to lose weight as well. I don't want to live forever if living means being the way life is now so I get depressed and wonder why bother losing weight if it's just for my health and not for anything else? 27 is super young and I hope you find someone one day, 38 on the other hand is just too old to have to start a relationship and go through all the time it takes to get to know another person and then start a family. I'd be in my 70's ushering them off to college, ridiculous.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    edited September 2017
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    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol

    my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
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    MystikPixie wrote: »
    I am 38 and never been married. My weight being a contributing factor to that. Yes, it effects my ability to lose weight as well. I don't want to live forever if living means being the way life is now so I get depressed and wonder why bother losing weight if it's just for my health and not for anything else? 27 is super young and I hope you find someone one day, 38 on the other hand is just too old to have to start a relationship and go through all the time it takes to get to know another person and then start a family. I'd be in my 70's ushering them off to college, ridiculous.

    I'm sorry it hasn't happened for you yet either. I worked with a really nice lady who met her 2nd husband and got married in her upper 30s. Also one of my good friends is 42 and is in a happy relationship as of the past year. So it isn't too late!! That's why we have to be strong and take care of ourselves now, so that we will be a strong spouse in our marriage.
  • GlassAngyl
    GlassAngyl Posts: 478 Member
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    I was married at 18 and separated at 22.. divorced at 25. Trust me.. early is NOT better! You make so many bad decisions that young. It's better to marry once you have outgrown all the selfish, unrealistic immaturitues that plague youth.
  • Fitkam90
    Fitkam90 Posts: 360 Member
    edited September 2017
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    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol

    my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.

    26 years is a long time. Oh yes, your daughter needs to stay single until she's 25 at least Lol. I only got myself in bad relationships in my early 20s. It was so bad I basically swore off men at 24. I'm still hopeful I'll find the right one though.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    edited September 2017
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    I got married at 35 (that was 15 years ago) and we're still going strong. From a diet and nutrition standpoint, it was much easier to manage my weight when I was single. Dinner could be a peppermint patty and 4 beers or a can of corn. Plus I had all the time in the world to workout. My husband EATS, and for years I tried to keep up with him. I finally gave up.

    Are you able to get a dog? They are such wonderful companions and a great way to get out and meet new people.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    Fitkam90 wrote: »
    If you're reading this and are married, how old were you when you got married?? I'm 27 and still single, and often wonder if marriage will happen for me. That loneliness causes me to binge eat for comfort sometimes. Can anyone relate??

    got married at 17 and still married 26 years later. There is nothing wrong with being single, my daughter is 22 and is single. she never dated anyone yet and states she doesnt want to date right now as she is loving life being single atm. she said sure she would like to have a relationship but,she doesnt want to go through what a lot of her friends have so she stays single. lol

    my sister has been married and divorced 3 times so.and she enters a relationship as fast as she ends one. she doesnt like being alone is her excuse.

    26 years is a long time. Oh yes, your daughter needs to stay single until she's 25 at least Lol. I only got myself in bad relationships in my early 20s. It was so bad I basically swore off men at 24. I'm still hopeful I'll find the right one though.

    yeah she plans on waiting. she doesnt mind being single.

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