Loneliness and weight loss.
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I'm also 27, and very recently went through a hard breakup, from the guy I thought I'll spend for the rest of my life with. So I can very much relate to the loneliness and overeating.
But one thing I can say is that while I was single before I met him I lost weight, and while with him I gained weight. Sometimes in relationships you feel so comfortable that you let yourself go, so take advantage of the fact you're single and have some free time to work out as much as you can. That might distract you from the loneliness (it's not working for me right now, but it did in the past lol - it can give you something else to focus on).
Also, where I'm from, it's fairly common to only get married in your late 20s-early 30s.
Aww I'm sorry you have had to go through a hard time. It is true, it's easier to focus on your health when it's just you. I briefly started hanging out with this guy over the Summer before he moved back to his city, and I was so nervous and stressed about meeting up and dressing "cute enough" I couldn't stay focused on my work out and eating regimen. Now that he's gone, it's not a problem!0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »You get married, have cpl of kids, and then you can't be alone for ten minutes to even take a shower in peace..lol.
Jokes aside, I met my husband after college, I'm 36 now. We have a great relationship and family. But marriage doesn't not make you who you are. It should not be a goal, it should happen organically, if it ever happens. If anything, as far as weight loss and fitness, I think marriage and family makes it a little harder to find time for it.
Be Happy with you, single or married.
Lol so true about not getting to be alone for 10 minutes. I work with sweet little ones full time, and they follow me everywhere.
They even try to follow me into the bathroom, and I'm like ummm no, this is where I draw the line haha! They'll knock on the door and call my name until I come out. And thanks, you're exactly right.0 -
sendtoharvey wrote: »don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy
It kinda sounds like the saying is true, "Love finds you when you least expect it."
be careful with that too. my sister keeps having these men come into her life or she chooses them whatever the case may be, and she isnt in love with any of them.she just thinks she is. the relationship ends not long after. shes in a relationship with a guy my son went to school with. she didnt know him a month ago and now thinks he is the one for her and in love with him.
she said that 3 months ago with the last one. so if you meet someone take it slow and make sure that the person is the one for you, she thinks that if someone comes into your life its meant to be. some come into you life for a reason and some are there to teach you a hard lesson. which for her she never learns from.0 -
I can relate.
I'm 26 and single. I got really fat and gave up. Now I'm trying to lose it so i can find someone. I don't think anyone would want someone who doesn't take care of themself, like I did..0 -
I got married at 28. I met my husband in 1991 - he was the best man in a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. I was about 185 at the time, and had been trying to lose weight for the wedding. I only lost about 30-40 pounds. I then ballooned up to 376, and now am at 347 after losing about 140 pounds a few years ago down to about 240-ish.
Things will happen for you. 27 is still young. Meanwhile, focus on doing things that make you happy. Try to limit the negativity input by not reading the news so much or watching the news or scary, blood/guts movies. Do something you always wanted to do - knitting, quilting, pick up a new language. Something/anything.
Good luck!!
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CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »sendtoharvey wrote: »don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy
It kinda sounds like the saying is true, "Love finds you when you least expect it."
be careful with that too. my sister keeps having these men come into her life or she chooses them whatever the case may be, and she isnt in love with any of them.she just thinks she is. the relationship ends not long after. shes in a relationship with a guy my son went to school with. she didnt know him a month ago and now thinks he is the one for her and in love with him.
she said that 3 months ago with the last one. so if you meet someone take it slow and make sure that the person is the one for you, she thinks that if someone comes into your life its meant to be. some come into you life for a reason and some are there to teach you a hard lesson. which for her she never learns from.[/quote
Oh I know, it's very important to use discernment. I've had to turn away a few men in the recent years lol. Also, I'm not desperate. When I was younger, I was desperate(19-23), so I would date a guy just to have someone to talk to/waste time even though I knew good and well it wasn't going anywhere serious.0 -
I can relate.
I'm 26 and single. I got really fat and gave up. Now I'm trying to lose it so i can find someone. I don't think anyone would want someone who doesn't take care of themself, like I did..
It's tough! Just make sure that you are getting healthy for you. Not all men are shallow. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I had men pursue me for a serious relationship even while being overweight. Those relationships couldn't work out because we didn't see eye to eye on things like "religion and politics." Or I wanted children and he didn't. Or he believed you should live with someone before you marry them, and I believed you should wait. The list goes on. Anyone who only pursues a relationship with someone who has a perfect body, is probably not a good catch to begin with. Beauty fades, and if their interest in a person is mainly based upon beauty, they will likely bounce from relationship to relationship until they end up utterly alone, or have a change of heart. Love yourself for the beauty you are now!1 -
I got married at 28. I met my husband in 1991 - he was the best man in a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. I was about 185 at the time, and had been trying to lose weight for the wedding. I only lost about 30-40 pounds. I then ballooned up to 376, and now am at 347 after losing about 140 pounds a few years ago down to about 240-ish.
Things will happen for you. 27 is still young. Meanwhile, focus on doing things that make you happy. Try to limit the negativity input by not reading the news so much or watching the news or scary, blood/guts movies. Do something you always wanted to do - knitting, quilting, pick up a new language. Something/anything.
Good luck!!
That's great you are taking care of yourself now. Thanks for sharing!
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »What a strange idea to have in this day and age. There is absolutely no reason why anybody NEEDS to be married.
There's a difference between feeling that you NEED to be married (to fit in, to feel "worthy", for financial security, or whatever other reason you may have), and having the DESIRE to be married and/or have children. There's nothing wrong with the latter.
OP, I met my husband on a blind date when I was 22 (he's 3 years older) and we were married 18 months later - still married after 28 years, and still in love. We've had our ups and downs, but life isn't all smooth sailing!
I have a friend who was married young and got divorced, then found the "real" love of her life at 46. I had another one who married her childhood sweetheart at 18 and they were extremely happy - as far as I know they're still together, but we lost touch years ago. Another one also divorced her first husband, with whom she had no children, and had two beautiful babies with her second husband when she was in her late thirties.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't know what life's going to bring you, or when! Hopefully you will one day find the love you long for, but I wish you a happy life in the meantime. Don't wait around for Mr Right, he'll come along while you're busy enjoying yourself just living! 1 -
Gee let me introduce you to my son. He's 36 and never been married (Just kidding). He got a little concerned about not being married when he was your age and then by reading what St. Paul had to say about the single life in his letters he decided to embrace the single life as a vocation and wait to see if it would be God's Will to bring somebody into his life.Just live the vocation that you have right now and wait on God. 1
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I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.
I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with.
When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.
Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.
I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.
Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.1 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »What a strange idea to have in this day and age. There is absolutely no reason why anybody NEEDS to be married.
There's a difference between feeling that you NEED to be married (to fit in, to feel "worthy", for financial security, or whatever other reason you may have), and having the DESIRE to be married and/or have children. There's nothing wrong with the latter.
OP, I met my husband on a blind date when I was 22 (he's 3 years older) and we were married 18 months later - still married after 28 years, and still in love. We've had our ups and downs, but life isn't all smooth sailing!
I have a friend who was married young and got divorced, then found the "real" love of her life at 46. I had another one who married her childhood sweetheart at 18 and they were extremely happy - as far as I know they're still together, but we lost touch years ago. Another one also divorced her first husband, with whom she had no children, and had two beautiful babies with her second husband when she was in her late thirties.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't know what life's going to bring you, or when! Hopefully you will one day find the love you long for, but I wish you a happy life in the meantime. Don't wait around for Mr Right, he'll come along while you're busy enjoying yourself just living!
Aww thank you so much for this response! Gives me hope 0 -
Gee let me introduce you to my son. He's 36 and never been married (Just kidding). He got a little concerned about not being married when he was your age and then by reading what St. Paul had to say about the single life in his letters he decided to embrace the single life as a vocation and wait to see if it would be God's Will to bring somebody into his life.Just live the vocation that you have right now and wait on God.
Thanks! I have thought about what Paul says about it would be better for people to remain single so you can keep God 1st, but he also says it's ok to marry if we must, because it is better to marry than to burn with passion. I'm not sure which category God has put me in yet, but I sure trust that marriage is in my future! I'll just keep waiting and praying.0 -
I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.
I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with. When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.
Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.
I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.
Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.
It sounds like you have had to endure some difficult times! I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need and are taking of yourself! Thank you for sharing! I really enjoy everyone's stories.0 -
I was married at 21 we just had our 26 anniversary. I wish ya the best of luck with finding everything you are looking for2
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I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.
I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with. When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.
Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.
I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.
Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.
It sounds like you have had to endure some difficult times! I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need and are taking of yourself! Thank you for sharing! I really enjoy everyone's stories.
It was no fun at times, but I'm doing really well now. I've not had a mood swing in almost two years, which is amazing! I'm happy and getting healthy, and my husband is fully supporting me. I literally could not do this without him.
I've enjoyed everyone's stories too! This is a great thread!
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You can find things you like to do to keep you busy and don't focus on finding "the one". This is your journey and no one else. I think you what you feel is you think you are missing out on human contact that happens in a relationship. When people find a replacement such as food to fill the void, it can have the result you were not looking for. I have been married for over 20 years and I tell you, it takes a lot of work to keep it going. It has many up and and just as many downs. In the down times I found comfort in food and it gave the the body that was a prison cell. High blood pressure, back problems, knee pain and constant fatigue and led to medications. I would love to tell you marriage is bliss but it's not always a happy ever after. Take you time finding "the one" and I sincerely hope you do. In the mean time, focus on you, take care of you.2
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do you ever date or have a way to meet new people? You are very young from my perspective and have plenty of time to meet "Mr. Right".... since the beginning of civilization people have met and coupled. Get out there - enjoy the world and have the time of your life while young!!1
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Hi all-
I am 47 and single. And I have to say that nighttime loneliness is a huge obsticle for me. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes I feel like Food is my only comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?0 -
I got married at 28, I'm 37 now. I'm very happy, but I never had the intention of getting married, I just met someone I couldn't see myself living without, so I married him. Before that, most guys were just my boyfriends or lovers but I never felt like I needed them in my life, although most of them might have thought differently I guess.
Either way, I didn't meet my husband until I became the person I would want to be married to, if that makes any sense? I couldn't even see myself as married until I was that person. Then it was easy to attract the person I wanted, because I had the qualities to attract a good person that I couldn't see myself without.
My husband is my best friend and more, there is so much more to a marriage than meeting someone to solve the problem of loneliness, lest you become lonely in a room with another human being who makes you feel even more lonely.
Really, you have to be whole on your own; no other person can complete you. You have to be the best person you can be on your own to attract the kind of person you want to be around for the rest of your life, and you don't deserve any less (and neither do they)
I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Work on yourself, meet lots of people and if it is meant to happen, it will when the time is right. Marriage isn't a gateway to buying a home and having 2.5 kids, it's about so much more if it is to be successful.
That's about all I can say as a happily married person.4 -
Hi all-
I am 47 and single. And I have to say that nighttime loneliness is a huge obsticle for me. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes I feel like Food is my only comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?
find a hobby or find groups in your area that have interests you may like say cooking,reading club something along those lines. clubs can be a way to meet new people and make new friends0 -
I met my husband when I was 28 and married him when I was 29. We've been together for almost 27 years. I had pretty much stopped trying to find someone when I met him. That is of course when it happened lol. I do remember feeling lonely and wondering if I would ever meet anyone.1
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I met my husband when I was 28 and married him when I was 29. We've been together for almost 27 years. I had pretty much stopped trying to find someone when I met him. That is of course when it happened lol. I do remember feeling lonely and wondering if I would ever meet anyone.
Thank you for sharing. Congrats on 27 years.0 -
I got married first at 22 and then again at 42...marriage is not the answer to loneliness. I have been lonely in both marriages... Loneliness is something that you need to work out inside yourself..you need to love yourself...do things that you want to do to do for you...As for meeting someone...you will. But please don't jump into anything too quickly just to get married. Hindsight is always 20/20....marriage can be wonderful, but it is not the answer to loneliness. The worst kind of loneliness is being in a loveless marriage...1
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I got married at 34, me my husband at 29.
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I was 21, she was 20. It's been 34.
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You are so young! You have no reason to stress, you wil meet your man in your time.
I was 38 when I got married.1 -
I continue to enjoy reading everyone's replies!0
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I agree, the younger you are when you get married, the more likely you are to be divorced. Enjoy being you!!!0
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