Loneliness and weight loss.
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »It's really strange that you equate not being married with loneliness. The loneliest people that I know ARE married.
Not being married means that you have every opportunity to learn, travel, try new things and make friends without a spouse limiting your life or holding you back. It sounds like the problem is YOU, not your lack of a marriage partner.
What a strange idea to have in this day and age. There is absolutely no reason why anybody NEEDS to be married.
I am 42 and never married, by choice, though I certainly had lots of opportunities. I feel very little social pressure to get married and hardly ever feel lonely. I hate no trouble dating even when I was very large.
Who said anyone NEEDS to be married? It seems your choice has worked out great for you. I am my own problem in different areas sometimes, as well as every other human being. Sometimes we stir up trouble for ourselves. However, being single or feeling I'm missing out on a loving marriage doesn't mean I'm the problem. Some people have that desire for marriage and kids, some don't. I am not wrong for being one that does desire marriage and children. I'm old fashioned. "This day in age" does not mean much to me. To each his own. Some couples are very lonely in their marriages, others have very fulfilling and loving marriages. I also never said marriage is the ONLY way for people to not be lonely lol. That would be strange... Thank you for your point of view though!1 -
I got married at 31 and never thought I'd find anyone and had stopped looking. Was pure luck and chance. I was independent and happy being single. Most of my friends are single and have never looked back. You have lots of time still too.1
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don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy1
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sendtoharvey wrote: »don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy
It kinda sounds like the saying is true, "Love finds you when you least expect it."1 -
Hi
I was 24when I got married. Divorced at 30. I'm in no hurry to do it again! You are so young! I'm 42 now and single. Ok love being single! I have 2 great kids ages 16 and my son will be 10 tomorrow! Enjoy being young! There is plenty of time for marriage and kids. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have gotten married. He was a great guy but I just like being alone. I'm one of those people that am happier alone I don't need anyone to make me feel complete. Learn to love yourself first. It will happen. Good luck0 -
I was 22, but my wife was 30(and never married before). Over 22 years together and counting...0
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Halloweenmom31 wrote: »Hi
I was 24when I got married. Divorced at 30. I'm in no hurry to do it again! You are so young! I'm 42 now and single. Ok love being single! I have 2 great kids ages 16 and my son will be 10 tomorrow! Enjoy being young! There is plenty of time for marriage and kids. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have gotten married. He was a great guy but I just like being alone. I'm one of those people that am happier alone I don't need anyone to make me feel complete. Learn to love yourself first. It will happen. Good luck
Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you've found happiness in your singleness!
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I'm also 27, and very recently went through a hard breakup, from the guy I thought I'll spend for the rest of my life with. So I can very much relate to the loneliness and overeating.
But one thing I can say is that while I was single before I met him I lost weight, and while with him I gained weight. Sometimes in relationships you feel so comfortable that you let yourself go, so take advantage of the fact you're single and have some free time to work out as much as you can. That might distract you from the loneliness (it's not working for me right now, but it did in the past lol - it can give you something else to focus on).
Also, where I'm from, it's fairly common to only get married in your late 20s-early 30s.1 -
You get married, have cpl of kids, and then you can't be alone for ten minutes to even take a shower in peace..lol.
Jokes aside, I met my husband after college, I'm 36 now. We have a great relationship and family. But marriage doesn't not make you who you are. It should not be a goal, it should happen organically, if it ever happens. If anything, as far as weight loss and fitness, I think marriage and family makes it a little harder to find time for it.
Be Happy with you, single or married.0 -
I'm also 27, and very recently went through a hard breakup, from the guy I thought I'll spend for the rest of my life with. So I can very much relate to the loneliness and overeating.
But one thing I can say is that while I was single before I met him I lost weight, and while with him I gained weight. Sometimes in relationships you feel so comfortable that you let yourself go, so take advantage of the fact you're single and have some free time to work out as much as you can. That might distract you from the loneliness (it's not working for me right now, but it did in the past lol - it can give you something else to focus on).
Also, where I'm from, it's fairly common to only get married in your late 20s-early 30s.
Aww I'm sorry you have had to go through a hard time. It is true, it's easier to focus on your health when it's just you. I briefly started hanging out with this guy over the Summer before he moved back to his city, and I was so nervous and stressed about meeting up and dressing "cute enough" I couldn't stay focused on my work out and eating regimen. Now that he's gone, it's not a problem!0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »You get married, have cpl of kids, and then you can't be alone for ten minutes to even take a shower in peace..lol.
Jokes aside, I met my husband after college, I'm 36 now. We have a great relationship and family. But marriage doesn't not make you who you are. It should not be a goal, it should happen organically, if it ever happens. If anything, as far as weight loss and fitness, I think marriage and family makes it a little harder to find time for it.
Be Happy with you, single or married.
Lol so true about not getting to be alone for 10 minutes. I work with sweet little ones full time, and they follow me everywhere.
They even try to follow me into the bathroom, and I'm like ummm no, this is where I draw the line haha! They'll knock on the door and call my name until I come out. And thanks, you're exactly right.0 -
sendtoharvey wrote: »don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy
It kinda sounds like the saying is true, "Love finds you when you least expect it."
be careful with that too. my sister keeps having these men come into her life or she chooses them whatever the case may be, and she isnt in love with any of them.she just thinks she is. the relationship ends not long after. shes in a relationship with a guy my son went to school with. she didnt know him a month ago and now thinks he is the one for her and in love with him.
she said that 3 months ago with the last one. so if you meet someone take it slow and make sure that the person is the one for you, she thinks that if someone comes into your life its meant to be. some come into you life for a reason and some are there to teach you a hard lesson. which for her she never learns from.0 -
I can relate.
I'm 26 and single. I got really fat and gave up. Now I'm trying to lose it so i can find someone. I don't think anyone would want someone who doesn't take care of themself, like I did..0 -
I got married at 28. I met my husband in 1991 - he was the best man in a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. I was about 185 at the time, and had been trying to lose weight for the wedding. I only lost about 30-40 pounds. I then ballooned up to 376, and now am at 347 after losing about 140 pounds a few years ago down to about 240-ish.
Things will happen for you. 27 is still young. Meanwhile, focus on doing things that make you happy. Try to limit the negativity input by not reading the news so much or watching the news or scary, blood/guts movies. Do something you always wanted to do - knitting, quilting, pick up a new language. Something/anything.
Good luck!!
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CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »sendtoharvey wrote: »don't stress. I was 27-28, my wife is 4 yrs older. both of us weren't looking for relationships when we met, in fact we were supposed to marry other people before but broke those off then happened to find each other when redoing our careers. you've got more than enough time to find the right match.. just focus on you being happy
It kinda sounds like the saying is true, "Love finds you when you least expect it."
be careful with that too. my sister keeps having these men come into her life or she chooses them whatever the case may be, and she isnt in love with any of them.she just thinks she is. the relationship ends not long after. shes in a relationship with a guy my son went to school with. she didnt know him a month ago and now thinks he is the one for her and in love with him.
she said that 3 months ago with the last one. so if you meet someone take it slow and make sure that the person is the one for you, she thinks that if someone comes into your life its meant to be. some come into you life for a reason and some are there to teach you a hard lesson. which for her she never learns from.[/quote
Oh I know, it's very important to use discernment. I've had to turn away a few men in the recent years lol. Also, I'm not desperate. When I was younger, I was desperate(19-23), so I would date a guy just to have someone to talk to/waste time even though I knew good and well it wasn't going anywhere serious.0 -
I can relate.
I'm 26 and single. I got really fat and gave up. Now I'm trying to lose it so i can find someone. I don't think anyone would want someone who doesn't take care of themself, like I did..
It's tough! Just make sure that you are getting healthy for you. Not all men are shallow. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I had men pursue me for a serious relationship even while being overweight. Those relationships couldn't work out because we didn't see eye to eye on things like "religion and politics." Or I wanted children and he didn't. Or he believed you should live with someone before you marry them, and I believed you should wait. The list goes on. Anyone who only pursues a relationship with someone who has a perfect body, is probably not a good catch to begin with. Beauty fades, and if their interest in a person is mainly based upon beauty, they will likely bounce from relationship to relationship until they end up utterly alone, or have a change of heart. Love yourself for the beauty you are now!1 -
I got married at 28. I met my husband in 1991 - he was the best man in a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. I was about 185 at the time, and had been trying to lose weight for the wedding. I only lost about 30-40 pounds. I then ballooned up to 376, and now am at 347 after losing about 140 pounds a few years ago down to about 240-ish.
Things will happen for you. 27 is still young. Meanwhile, focus on doing things that make you happy. Try to limit the negativity input by not reading the news so much or watching the news or scary, blood/guts movies. Do something you always wanted to do - knitting, quilting, pick up a new language. Something/anything.
Good luck!!
That's great you are taking care of yourself now. Thanks for sharing! 0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »What a strange idea to have in this day and age. There is absolutely no reason why anybody NEEDS to be married.
There's a difference between feeling that you NEED to be married (to fit in, to feel "worthy", for financial security, or whatever other reason you may have), and having the DESIRE to be married and/or have children. There's nothing wrong with the latter.
OP, I met my husband on a blind date when I was 22 (he's 3 years older) and we were married 18 months later - still married after 28 years, and still in love. We've had our ups and downs, but life isn't all smooth sailing!
I have a friend who was married young and got divorced, then found the "real" love of her life at 46. I had another one who married her childhood sweetheart at 18 and they were extremely happy - as far as I know they're still together, but we lost touch years ago. Another one also divorced her first husband, with whom she had no children, and had two beautiful babies with her second husband when she was in her late thirties.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't know what life's going to bring you, or when! Hopefully you will one day find the love you long for, but I wish you a happy life in the meantime. Don't wait around for Mr Right, he'll come along while you're busy enjoying yourself just living! 1 -
Gee let me introduce you to my son. He's 36 and never been married (Just kidding). He got a little concerned about not being married when he was your age and then by reading what St. Paul had to say about the single life in his letters he decided to embrace the single life as a vocation and wait to see if it would be God's Will to bring somebody into his life.Just live the vocation that you have right now and wait on God. 1
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