Guys who lift, getting advice from chicks...?
TashaaaKayeee
Posts: 114 Member
So I have been hitting the gym for almost two years now. When I first started, I learned everything on my own from bodybuilding.com, youtube, articles & so now.
Lately when I'm at the weight deck I see some guys lifting & I can tell their form is all wrong & it looks like they're about to hurt themselves. At times it's like guys that look in their 30's but then I see I (not trying to be mean or judgmental) boy teenagers who are "tiny" trying to lift heavy weights & everything they're doing is just waaaaay wrong! Just looking at them I cringe!
I know a lot of people at the gym just mind their own business but never have I seen another guy help out ANOTHER guy! I feel like I should say something so they won't get hurt (nicely of course) but I'm not sure how.
I guess I'm asking for those of you who go to the gym, what would you do?
Guys, if a girl came up to you saying you're probably doing it wrong, would be offended? embarrassed? take the advice?
Girls, if you were in my shoes, would you say something?
I feel like it's easier for a guy to go to another guy or even a girl to suggest something rather than a girl going to a guy.
Thoughts?
Lately when I'm at the weight deck I see some guys lifting & I can tell their form is all wrong & it looks like they're about to hurt themselves. At times it's like guys that look in their 30's but then I see I (not trying to be mean or judgmental) boy teenagers who are "tiny" trying to lift heavy weights & everything they're doing is just waaaaay wrong! Just looking at them I cringe!
I know a lot of people at the gym just mind their own business but never have I seen another guy help out ANOTHER guy! I feel like I should say something so they won't get hurt (nicely of course) but I'm not sure how.
I guess I'm asking for those of you who go to the gym, what would you do?
Guys, if a girl came up to you saying you're probably doing it wrong, would be offended? embarrassed? take the advice?
Girls, if you were in my shoes, would you say something?
I feel like it's easier for a guy to go to another guy or even a girl to suggest something rather than a girl going to a guy.
Thoughts?
4
Replies
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They will probably read into it something you didn't intend. Be warned.28
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I had a guy copy my routine badly, was not sure what to say. I told him my routine was made for me and my weaknesses by a trainer and suggested he get his own.
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I do things in the gym that look like I am doing them with bad form. They're usually just a version of something that's tweaked to hit a certain part better or to fix something. If someone came up to me and told me I was doing it wrong I might not have a polite answer for them.
You don't know these people. You don't know their lifting or injury history. You don't know their goals. You also aren't certified, you learned online. Maybe you are wrong.33 -
I know I'm not a trainer but when I see a guy trying to do a deadlift with 100lbs & he's bending his back, I'm pretty sure with a past injury or not, he's going to mess up his back.10
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TashaaaKayeee wrote: »I know I'm not a trainer but when I see a guy trying to do a deadlift with 100lbs & he's bending his back, I'm pretty sure with a past injury or not, he's going to mess up his back.
Did you know there's this thing called the American Deadlift that requires you bend your back? It violates absolutely everything you learned online about doing a deadlift, but it's a great exercise done for a very specific reason.22 -
Nah. I just let people do their own thing.6
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There are also many other types of deadlifts such as:
-Conventional
-Sumo
-Snatch grip
-Stiff leg
-Romanian
-American
-Hex/Trap bar
-Deficit
-Rack pulls
-Jefferson squat (which is actually a deadlift)
-Hack squats (which is again actually a deadlift)
-Suitcase
-Reeves
-Single leg
That's not even getting into bands, chains, kettle bell, or dumbbell variations.21 -
Ive had people come upto me and question my methods of lifting, usually im doing something odd that isolates a muscle directly but looks strange haha usually when im doing stiff leg dumbbell deadlifts and everyone loses their minds and jump in to tell me im deadlifting wrong... worse is when im doing light dumbells on my arms and people snicker and laugh cause its light... *slaps forehead* but majority of ego lifters that you see are literally doing it wrong and you can tell by the confidence of how someone lifts rather than the form4
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I do things in the gym that look like I am doing them with bad form. They're usually just a version of something that's tweaked to hit a certain part better or to fix something. If someone came up to me and told me I was doing it wrong I might not have a polite answer for them.
You don't know these people. You don't know their lifting or injury history. You don't know their goals. You also aren't certified, you learned online. Maybe you are wrong.
My thoughts exactly. BTW, even though I've lifted for years I have no problem taking direction from a younger female. I did a small group training class and the instructor was one of the best I've been around. She was a former D1 athlete, exercise science degree, had been through several in person training sessions with well known performance coaches. She knew her stuff.
Some random person, male or female, not so much.
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I don't want training advice from anybody in the gym unless it's somebody who I've personally vetted and solicited/hired for that express purpose. I especially don't want training advice from some random bro or bro-ette, who I have no idea as to their training, experience/expertise or certification. Over the years I've seen far too much bad, stupid and/or downright dangerous advice dispensed in gyms by people who may have good intentions but don't have the slightest idea what they're talking about. And that includes a lot of the "personal trainers" who actually work in those gyms (disclaimer: not saying there are no good personal trainers - just saying that they're not all good).
On the flip side of the coin, I would gladly and gratefully accept advice from a female trainer if I knew for a fact that she was on point. If somebody like Sumi Singh or Andrea Valdez walked into my gym and offered to train me, I'd take them up on it in a heartbeat.
So in other words, my willingness to take advice from somebody in the gym would have nothing whatsoever to do with whether they were male or female. I'd ignore a fit, jacked woo-spouting bro just as fast as I'd ignore a fit, jacked woo-spouting bro-ette.26 -
It's not my place, male or female. I wouldn't go up to a stranger riding a bike without a helmet and tell him or her to wear a helmet. I wouldn't tell a stranger driving recklessly to drive more safely - and even if I did, it likely wouldn't be well-received. I guess I just can't imagine many situations in which people would take kindly to a stranger criticizing them, no matter how constructive and well-meaning the criticism.3
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Guys, if a girl came up to you saying you're probably doing it wrong, would be:
Offended? No - would assume their intentions were to be helpful and friendly.
Embarrassed? Not at all.
Take the advice? Depends on the knowledge of the person and the quality of their advice, not their gender. If Jennifer Thompson told me I was benching wrong I would definitely listen!
I feel like it's easier for a guy to go to another guy or even a girl to suggest something rather than a girl going to a guy. I think you are probably right.
Think that also applies to someone young being more likely to listen to someone their age, ditto someone older being more likely to listen to someone older.
A couple of my gyms have been close to colleges so have a young demographic and there is a noticeable difference in training style between the young men and young women. As a generalisation young women seem more likely to get professional help with setting up a decent routine and being taught good form whereas too many guys just copy their clueless mates or things they have seen online but don't understand the purpose or context, have awful routines, talk a load of crap to try and impress their mates with their "knowledge" and lift vanity weights badly.
PS - if I see someone likely to injure themselves I would most likely ask one of the PTs to intervene.7 -
PS - if I see someone likely to injure themselves I would most likely ask one of the PTs to intervene.
Basically this.
My gym is a bit unusual and the newer trainers take turns to work reception, plus sometimes the gym manager and even the owner (yeah, when Shaun *kitten* Stafford is on the front desk I definitely work a bit harder!!). Also, it's open plan so you can see the whole gym from the reception desk. If you're lifting heavy, it's totally normal to go and borrow whoever's on reception to spot you for your last set or whatever.
So if someone looks like they're actually liable to injure themselves, I'd let whoever was on the desk know to maybe keep an eye on them.
It probably depends on the nature of the gym though... I'm not sure that approach would have worked in any of my old gyms. Then, I'd just leave someone to it, or maybe roll my eyes at a passing staff member and nod in their direction!1 -
I don't like when anyone talks to me at the gym.9
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Have to vet the sources. Just because you learned form from YouTube doesn't mean it's right. We all remember this world class instructional video (sarcasm) from world famous personality Jillian Michaels.
3 -
I'm not a man, but when I'm in the gym or exercising I don't consider it to be a collaborative project. If I'm not paying you for your input or asking for your advice, I'm not really interested in your feedback.
Like people have said, we don't always know someone's goals and injury history.10 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I'm not a man, but when I'm in the gym or exercising I don't consider it to be a collaborative project. If I'm not paying you for your input or asking for your advice, I'm not really interested in your feedback.
Like people have said, we don't always know someone's goals and injury history.
This for me too. I want to be left alone at the gym. It's my only me time.8 -
I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.4 -
TashaaaKayeee wrote: »So I have been hitting the gym for almost two years now. When I first started, I learned everything on my own from bodybuilding.com, youtube, articles & so now.
Lately when I'm at the weight deck I see some guys lifting & I can tell their form is all wrong & it looks like they're about to hurt themselves. At times it's like guys that look in their 30's but then I see I (not trying to be mean or judgmental) boy teenagers who are "tiny" trying to lift heavy weights & everything they're doing is just waaaaay wrong! Just looking at them I cringe!
I know a lot of people at the gym just mind their own business but never have I seen another guy help out ANOTHER guy! I feel like I should say something so they won't get hurt (nicely of course) but I'm not sure how.
I guess I'm asking for those of you who go to the gym, what would you do?
Guys, if a girl came up to you saying you're probably doing it wrong, would be offended? embarrassed? take the advice?
Girls, if you were in my shoes, would you say something?
I feel like it's easier for a guy to go to another guy or even a girl to suggest something rather than a girl going to a guy.
Thoughts?
Depends on the individual. I wouldn't strike up a conversation with a stranger and leap into "Hey your form sucks", but sharing information with someone you already know would have a better chance at a positive outcome.
Generally speaking women are more detail oriented than men. Knowing this I specifically sought out the insight from a female weightlifter when I started lifting again. For the first few sessions she had me working with a broomstick as any bad movements would be highlighted and often hidden under weights. This was one of the best investments I ever made. I'm lifting heavier than before and injury free.2 -
I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.5 -
I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.
So what you're saying is, the force of wishful thinking is strong?
4 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.
So what you're saying is, the force of wishful thinking is strong?
we're optimists. we are also not smart. the endorphines and testosterone from working out also has a negative impact on our cognitive abilities.10 -
A general rule I apply to all advice is if it's unsolicited don't give it.17
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Last Friday I was in the weight room and I was trying a new to me movement...a young lady came up to me and told me my form was off and did a demonstration...I continued with the movement, but not quite right so she corrected me again and I got it down...she also showed me this amazing stretch for an issue I was having.
I gave her some knuckles and thanked her...but she's also my wife's personal trainer and a very good friend of the family...I'd likely not have the same reaction with some rando in the gym who doesn't know anything about me or what I'm doing...I do quite a few things in the gym for very specific reasons that a lot of people would probably find unusual and awkward looking...9 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.
So what you're saying is, the force of wishful thinking is strong?
we're optimists. we are also not smart. the endorphines and testosterone from working out also has a negative impact on our cognitive abilities.
Not to derail the thread, but that's a *kitten* excuse. If a girl talking to you is a come on, then you're either really arrogant, or a douche. Or both. Probably both.
Hoping it's a come on and assuming it is are very different, with very different responses.12 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.
So what you're saying is, the force of wishful thinking is strong?
we're optimists. we are also not smart. the endorphines and testosterone from working out also has a negative impact on our cognitive abilities.
Not to derail the thread, but that's a *kitten* excuse. If a girl talking to you is a come on, then you're either really arrogant, or a douche. Or both. Probably both.
Hoping it's a come on and assuming it is are very different, with very different responses.
oh no, it's not an excuse. We're already stupid. The gym has the ability to amplify our preexisting stupidity.
There is a different between something being explainable and being excusable.7 -
Sorry, but this is a no tolerance issue for me, so I'm just going to back out now.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.1 -
Sorry, but this is a no tolerance issue for me, so I'm just going to back out now.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
i'm not sure what i said that seems to have upset you. I was pointing out that guys, especially most "gym guys" are likely to be kinda douchy. especially with regards to women in the gym. The number of times I've seen variations of "how do I hit on girls at the gym" conversations come up is mind numbing.
a woman approaching a guy in a gym just seems like a recipe for disaster7 -
I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...1 -
If its someone I train with, sure, I have no problem saying something, but if its some random dude quarter squatting with a p***y pad, then he's on his own.4
This discussion has been closed.
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