Guys who lift, getting advice from chicks...?
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Generally, just don't, as above, you don't know goals/etc.
If you must.
Try... "I noticed you doing xxx exercise, I was taught to do it (mention form difference) is there a reason you're doing it (however you think is wrong)."
That way you're not attacking or criticizing.
Barring the douchy guys who think you're flirting, you'll either get.
Oh, really, I didn't mean to... who will then record their next set for review.
Yes, In fact I'm actually doing yyy drill, it targets (injury/focus area)
or alternate douchy response ... ***Kitten*** you, no I'm not.
When you approach ~Notadouche this way, you'll either, help someone out, or learn something.
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GiddyupTim wrote: »Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
yep
No.
Please.
Believe it or not, some of us have the intelligence to discern and interpret motive. We're not all deluded by a notion that we are absolutely irresistible.
"most"
"some"
neither her statement or yours are mutually exclusive.
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jseams1234 wrote: »TashaaaKayeee wrote: »I know I'm not a trainer but when I see a guy trying to do a deadlift with 100lbs & he's bending his back, I'm pretty sure with a past injury or not, he's going to mess up his back.
let him mess his back. he will learn soon enough, on his own. also, when people are progressing to higher weights, their form is not going to be the best on that PR.
Your form would have to be extremely wonky to mess you up with a 100# Deadlift...
Not really, because if your form is wonky at 100#, if you don't correct it, it will still be wonky when you get to #400.
Alternately, if you're doing a variation, You probably won't do that variation at #400.
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If everyone minded their own business at the gym, and nobody talked to anybody, the world would be a happy place.10
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Age, gender, etc. should have nothing to do with it. You may have a fair bit of knowledge in this area, but really, two things are important here (1) you have no formal training or certification in fitness, (2) they did NOT ask you for your advice and you have no professional relationship with them. Given those two things, you should mind your own. Generally speaking, unless (2) is true, you should probably stay out of it.
Also, as others have pointed out, a guy may take this the wrong way, and you could end up with him following you around the gym. It shouldn't be this way, but it still tends to happen.4 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »If everyone minded their own business at the gym, and nobody talked to anybody, the world would be a happy place.
that's my take
only thing I wanna hear in the gym is "you using this?"
verbal response not required.3 -
VintageFeline wrote: »A general rule I apply to all advice is if it's unsolicited don't give it.
Yeah, this is a discussion that my husband and I had recently. He's very free with giving advice to his friends and family and I'm much more . . . hands-off. If I am asked, I'll always do my best to try to help but I rarely just offer my opinion (especially on things like relationships or children or weight/health issues). I figure if someone wants help to live their life, they're going to ask me.3 -
Warning: If you do offer unsolicited advice expect someone to complain about it on MFP.11
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I just calls em like I sees em.
Those guys in the gym are the same ones scamming ways to get girls to take off their headphones and pay attention to them in the gym.0 -
I just calls em like I sees em.
Those guys in the gym are the same ones scamming ways to get girls to take off their headphones and pay attention to them in the gym.
Or maybe a lot of people at the gym are actually just uneducated when it comes to proper form?
Maybe they learned it all on BB com
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I usually have a woman spot me on bench on Thursdays - she's a fellow competitive powerlifter. She tells me when things look different/weird/something. I listen to her, as she's shown she knows what she's talking about. Conversely, I ignore a couple of the guys at the gym, as they've shown themselves to be completely clueless.
If someone told me they saw something on BB.com or youtube, or just read something, I'd probably put my earbuds back in and walk away - male or female.3 -
I never offer anybody advice in the gym. If somebody were to ask for advice I'd help if I could but who am I to offer unsolicited advice? Also, the gym I belong to is a college gym and I'm the age of many of the members' parents. Nobody wants the stranger equivalent of their mom wandering over to say "engage your lats!" or "your hips are shooting up too fast" when they are lifting. I just don't see that going over well.5
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Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
That's not what I'm saying (and I'm certainly not saying they should!).
I'm only saying that most guys are dense enough that if they're into a girl and she's nice to him, he'll be overly optimistic that she likes him too. Especially if she initiates conversation.
Lots of guys are unable to distinguish between "being nice" and "being interested."
Strangely, if a guy isn't into a girl and she's nice, he recognizes that she's just friendly.
How do we jump from that to "women are sexual objects?"5 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
That's not what I'm saying (and I'm certainly not saying they should!).
I'm only saying that most guys are dense enough that if they're into a girl and she's nice to him, he'll be overly optimistic that she likes him too. Especially if she initiates conversation.
Lots of guys are unable to distinguish between "being nice" and "being interested."
Strangely, if a guy isn't into a girl and she's nice, he recognizes that she's just friendly.
How do we jump from that to "women are sexual objects?"
My apologies, I meant to quote the other dude who responded in the affirmative to my question.1 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
yep
Speak for yourself.
@3bambi3 that is NOT what I was saying. I was referring to the person who said they had to leave the conversation because it was a no tolerance issue.
I didn't understand how there's no tolerance for discussing that a lot of guys are too stupid to recognize that some girls are just nice.
I can understand no tolerance for a dude being a perv about it when a girl approaches him. I have no tolerance for that myself.
But addressing the issue? Why no tolerance for stating the fact that a lot of guys are that stupid?
How do we fix it if we don't address it?6 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
That's not what I'm saying (and I'm certainly not saying they should!).
I'm only saying that most guys are dense enough that if they're into a girl and she's nice to him, he'll be overly optimistic that she likes him too. Especially if she initiates conversation.
Lots of guys are unable to distinguish between "being nice" and "being interested."
Strangely, if a guy isn't into a girl and she's nice, he recognizes that she's just friendly.
How do we jump from that to "women are sexual objects?"
My apologies, I meant to quote the other dude who responded in the affirmative to my question.
Gotcha. No problem.
Honestly, it irritated me that he responded on my behalf.3 -
I was extremely self-conscious and shy and had a friend who worked out who got me to go to the gym with her. Every time, I had to overcome my shyness and anxiety about being judged but I stuck with it. I lifted weights for two years and began to enjoy it immensely. It was a stress reducer, helped me maintain a 60-lb. weight loss and gave me great self-confidence after surviving a physically and emotionally abusive marriage. I was 5'3", 140 lbs. and a perfect size 10, the healthiest and happiest I've ever been with my body. I have a naturally muscular body and I develop large biceps and huge quads very quickly. In addition to lifting, I did at least 30 - 40 minutes of cardio every day. Because I was often the only female in the free weights area, I often got funny looks from the guys, but didn't really care. It was when some of the women took it upon themselves to offer to "help" me lose weight by suggesting I do more cardio and less lifting so I could "get trim" and one of the gym employees told me the same thing (You don't want to have big muscles, just be thin and toned), I started feeling anxious about going. When one of the guys at the gym started calling me "moose" under his breath as he walked by me I quit going altogether. Within a year, I had lost all muscle tone and regained 40 pounds and was a size 16 again. Bottom line is this: you don't know someone's history, why they are at the gym, how long they have been working out or anything about their personality. BEFORE you go up and offer to "help" someone, maybe try to get to know them over a period of time first. Make conversation, ask them questions about themselves, and THEN let them ask YOU questions. Otherwise, keep your comments to yourself. You may do way more harm than good by offering to "help".16
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Would you appreciate a man (or woman) trying to correct your form?
Sometimes I have men ask me about my programming...sometimes it's legit and sometimes it's flirting. I'll "talk shop," but I'm not going to go out of my way to correct someone's form. Not my back...not my problem.0
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