Guys who lift, getting advice from chicks...?
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Carlos_421 wrote: »Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
yep
Speak for yourself.
@3bambi3 that is NOT what I was saying. I was referring to the person who said they had to leave the conversation because it was a no tolerance issue.
I didn't understand how there's no tolerance for discussing that a lot of guys are too stupid to recognize that some girls are just nice.
I can understand no tolerance for a dude being a perv about it when a girl approaches him. I have no tolerance for that myself.
But addressing the issue? Why no tolerance for stating the fact that a lot of guys are that stupid?
How do we fix it if we don't address it?
I agree and don't understand the overreaction to behavior that we know occurs - with both sexes. Some people just can't take a hint.
If this (unwarranted advances) does happen it is good practice to involve the staff immediately. These issues don't go away with time and need to be confronted clearly and directly.2 -
If I want advice and guidance for lifting, I'll happily pay a qualified trainer for it. Gender is irrelevant.
If a qualified trainer feels like giving me a pointer or two in the gym as a freebie, I'll also happily take it as such with the thought that they're offering it to help drum up future business. Again, gender is irrelevant.
If a random person wants to harangue me about whatever they think I'm doing wrong, I'll happily charge them for my time that they've wasted. Gender, again, is irrelevant.6 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »Nah. I just let people do their own thing.
This.
I see cringe worthy activity in the gym all the time.
..... outside of the gym too.
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lynn_glenmont wrote: »I'd assume she wanted to sleep with me.
kidding... kidding...
If it felt like random advice, I'd mostly ignore it. If it was someone who I'd seen at the gym before and who seemed to know what she was doing, I'd take it under advisement. I'd probably record my next set and watch it later with her comments in mind, then go from there.
That applies to anyone giving me advice.
Ultimately though, I just want to be left alone. But that's not gym/lifting specific, that's pretty much my approach to life.
see, you say you're kidding, but....
there's a lot of truth in that. If a girl, especially a fit attractive one, approaches a guy at the gym, there is a STRONG chance that the guy is going to take it as a come on, no matter WHAT the content of the approach is.
So what you're saying is, the force of wishful thinking is strong?
we're optimists. we are also not smart. the endorphines and testosterone from working out also has a negative impact on our cognitive abilities.
[then you're either really arrogant, or a douche. Or both. Probably both.
you called ?
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The guys at my gym frequently help me - they can see I'm a newbie. Sometimes I take their advice (hey, careful not to look at your feet!) sometimes not (you shouldn't be trying to lift heavy, do lots of reps at lighter weight). As a newbie I'm not often in a position where I can see someone else doing something wrong, but it has happened once, with a teen trying to impress his girlfriend and flailing his feet all over the place trying to bench too heavy. I let him go, no point in embarrassing him in front of the girlfriend.
One option would be to ask questions about the person's form. That way you're not leaping in with criticism and if there's a reason they do it that way, they can tell you. Then in the context of the conversation you could explain the way you do it.4 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think anyone is talking about following a girl home because she talked to him...
How is it such a "no tolerance" issue that we have to exit stage left just because someone points out that most guys are highly optimistic in thinking that if a girl talks to him then he's got a chance?
Sure, it shows that guys are stupid but if they don't do anything but think that she might be into him...
Are you saying that most men in the gym view women primarily as sexual objects and assume the woman wants to sleep with them if she talks to them?
It goes both ways. If I try to "help" a female gym goer, she is probably thinking that I am just hitting on her.5 -
Where did OP go? I was hoping she'd tell us how our training is all waaaay wrong.1
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Sorry, but this is a no tolerance issue for me, so I'm just going to back out now.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
i'm not sure what i said that seems to have upset you. I was pointing out that guys, especially most "gym guys" are likely to be kinda douchy. especially with regards to women in the gym. The number of times I've seen variations of "how do I hit on girls at the gym" conversations come up is mind numbing.
a woman approaching a guy in a gym just seems like a recipe for disaster
He's got a point, to a point. It's very hard sometimes for women to approach men without being asked for coffee or drink at the end of the conversation. Not everyone does it, but the majority yes.0 -
byustrongman wrote: »I don't like when anyone talks to me at the gym.
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Was at the gym last month and a gentleman approached my daughter, it was obvious he wasn't trying to hit on her, and was very polite in pointing out how she should widen her stance and point her toes differently while squatting. She was very offended by it, and felt embarrassed by it.
Sometimes your intentions can do more harm than good. I thought he was friendly and polite but she saw it as a know-it-all who ruined her workout!
So..maybe consider saving advice for friends, or people who ask. Not everyone will be thankful for it.4 -
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I put my headphones in for a reason. I use to work out at a gym on Fort Bragg with the special forces guys and I know they knew what they were doing. I still didn't want their advice or to be chatted to while in the gym. I go to some classes at my gym now and in a class setting in down to talk, I'm open to advice. On the floor not so much. Let me do me and I assure you I'll let you do you.1
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Once when I was doing low bar squats, a guy came running up to tell me --- mid rep --- that I was going to wreck my back because I had the bar in the wrong place. All of the unsolicited advice I've gotten at the gym was similar in quality. When I used to be a sorta kinda competitive runner, same thing used to happen - people who didn't look like they could break 28 in a 5k would give me suggestions when I was in the middle of 5:30 mile intervals or 19:00 5k tempo runs.
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Typically my headphones are in for a reason, I'm pretty anti social at the gym(well actually everywhere). If someone comes up and ask for advice or a spot then I'll gladly give it in a cliff notes fashion so I can get back to what I'm at the gym for2
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I think as long as you start off the conversation by saying "thats not how I saw that lift done on youtube" you shouldn't have any issues. Try it with a variety of different guys and please report back the results.5
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no random stranger at a gym needs to give unsolicited advice to anyone else just mind your own business unless asked.
I don't care if you are a PT, certified or a doctor etc...you don't know the person etc...
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Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer1
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I'd rather just mind my own business1
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many moons ago I was at a Gym, I was trying a "new to me" machine and apparently I was doing it incorrectly. I had this very attractive young lady come up to me and advised that I was doing it wrong and instructed me on how to do it correctly. I found it very helpful and not embarrassed.
So my wife has a new intern at work, her intern tells my wife about this guy who was going to hurt himself doing an exercise at the gym and she had to correct him.
Yep you guessed right, that was me and my wife put it together because I had told her the story and when she called me and asked me to describe the girl....well it was a match.
I went to her work and we confirmed it and had a good laugh.
I rather take advice then get hurt, anything else, well that is their problem.4 -
richardpkennedy1 wrote: »Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer
it's not up to a trainer either...unless it's the trainer hired by the person getting the advice.1 -
TashaaaKayeee wrote: »I know I'm not a trainer but when I see a guy trying to do a deadlift with 100lbs & he's bending his back, I'm pretty sure with a past injury or not, he's going to mess up his back.
I'm hypermobile, I know full well my back rounds when I deadlift, I'm working hard to reduce the rounding but as I said I'm hypermobile. Oh and I work with a trainer who's helping me break the 100kg at the same time as strengthen my posterior chain. Similarly, when I squat my trainer wants me to stop just above parallel whenever I go above 50% bodyweight, I can squat atg, and do with lower weights, but he wants to protect my hypermobile joints and it's actually harder and takes more control for me to stop above parallel. (In body pump I do go right down bum to floor). Again I work with a PT and we've spent weeks working on my squat form.
As a woman if someone came along and tried to give me advice without being asked and told me how bad my form is (especially if they were effectively lifting half that I do) then I'd probably ignore them male or female, I wear headphones when I lift for a reason.Sorry, but this is a no tolerance issue for me, so I'm just going to back out now.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
i'm not sure what i said that seems to have upset you. I was pointing out that guys, especially most "gym guys" are likely to be kinda douchy. especially with regards to women in the gym. The number of times I've seen variations of "how do I hit on girls at the gym" conversations come up is mind numbing.
a woman approaching a guy in a gym just seems like a recipe for disaster
Maybe you're frequenting the wrong gym, the guys at my gym are friendly yes and will give advice if asked, but not in the least bit creepy or douchy.
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I'm not sure where I come down on this, just because I train in martial arts and we tend to have a high turn of people and that's fine, but currently one of our trainers is in her final month of pregnancy and as one of the most experienced students with a high level of control, she has me pair with new people, guys/girls whoever, so that they can get the benefits of being with someone who knows what they're doing, can spot problems as they come up and can actually work with them, i.e. put two new people on the pads together, it's kind of ridiculous. Basically you're getting a better end of the deal that I am.
The problem is, some men take one look at me and decide that they, who are taking their first or second class, know better than I do despite me having been training for over 2 years and don't listen to me. I think know how to hold pads at this point, how to kick, how to move. And if I tell you to turn your foot out, you have to turn your foot out. Your body won't be in the right place otherwise. It also frustrates me because it's not even like I'm a small woman if that's what they're worried about. I'm lean, yes, but I'm almost 6' so you can check your 'weak woman' bull at the door.
So if the situation calls for it, as in I've been asked to help by a teacher -- who I will always defer to, then yeah I'm going to say something and I'm going to keep saying it until you listen, but I wouldn't walk up to someone out of nowhere and say their form was bad. That's not my place to say.
I also think unless they're doing something majorly, possibly dangerous, then leave them with it. I'm hyperflexible like the above poster so I have to modify certain things to my body, like push ups, and people look at me like oh she's doing it wrong/easy/whatever but I know from personal experience that locking my joints isn't a good option for me.1 -
richardpkennedy1 wrote: »Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer
it's not up to a trainer either...unless it's the trainer hired by the person getting the advice.
Yep. Possible exception a trainer is an employee of a gym and part of their duty is to correct people's form. Many trainers are independent contractors and their insurance doesn't cover giving advice to non-clients.0 -
I cannot imagine giving unsolicited advice while someone is working out. What someone else is doing is not my business. I definetly do not want someone trying to correct my form if I have not asked. I think you should work on you and let it be.0
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Packerjohn wrote: »richardpkennedy1 wrote: »Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer
it's not up to a trainer either...unless it's the trainer hired by the person getting the advice.
Yep. Possible exception a trainer is an employee of a gym and part of their duty is to correct people's form. Many trainers are independent contractors and their insurance doesn't cover giving advice to non-clients.
even then it's not their job...they don't know the person or why they are doing what they are doing.
In this instance they should say "hey do you mind if I give a bit of advice?" or " may I ask why you do X this way?"
If I actually went to a gym and a trainer decided to correct my form I would probably not be happy...because most who do that are just trying to drum up business...and I find lots aren't that bright anyway.0 -
Most of us are incapable of graciously handling constructive criticism, especially from strangers, so unless serious injury or death is imminent, I don't get involved.4
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Packerjohn wrote: »richardpkennedy1 wrote: »Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer
it's not up to a trainer either...unless it's the trainer hired by the person getting the advice.
Yep. Possible exception a trainer is an employee of a gym and part of their duty is to correct people's form. Many trainers are independent contractors and their insurance doesn't cover giving advice to non-clients.
even then it's not their job...they don't know the person or why they are doing what they are doing.
In this instance they should say "hey do you mind if I give a bit of advice?" or " may I ask why you do X this way?"
If I actually went to a gym and a trainer decided to correct my form I would probably not be happy...because most who do that are just trying to drum up business...and I find lots aren't that bright anyway.
At least 5 trainers at my gym have commented that my knees should stay behind my toes while squatting. Next time I'm going to carry prints of research papers and distribute to them.5 -
You don't know these people. You don't know their lifting or injury history. You don't know their goals. You also aren't certified, you learned online. Maybe you are wrong.
Absolutely this!
Also, when I was new(er than now) to the gym I know I would have been horribly embarrassed if someone came up to me to say I was doing something wrong or with poor form. I mean, knew I was doing things wrong and with poor form but the whole thing about starting out is learning. I was on the internet just like you trying to figure things out and it takes time and practice. Depending on the person and their approach, unsolicited advice from a stranger could be way more embarrass than helpful.
Saying that, there have been tons of times I wished someone would give a friendly smile or strike up a conversation with me. People at my gym are pretty stoic! If I got chatting with someone and they slipped some advice among pleasantries, I'd be all over it.1 -
Packerjohn wrote: »richardpkennedy1 wrote: »Random advice giving is bound to solicit a bad reaction regardless of gender. Better to flag it to a trainer
it's not up to a trainer either...unless it's the trainer hired by the person getting the advice.
Yep. Possible exception a trainer is an employee of a gym and part of their duty is to correct people's form. Many trainers are independent contractors and their insurance doesn't cover giving advice to non-clients.
even then it's not their job...they don't know the person or why they are doing what they are doing.
In this instance they should say "hey do you mind if I give a bit of advice?" or " may I ask why you do X this way?"
If I actually went to a gym and a trainer decided to correct my form I would probably not be happy...because most who do that are just trying to drum up business...and I find lots aren't that bright anyway.
At least 5 trainers at my gym have commented that my knees should stay behind my toes while squatting. Next time I'm going to carry prints of research papers and distribute to them.
... as you can see by the "woo" you got it's still a commonly held belief.
However, a little digging shows that there is plenty of real research to back up a claim that knees over toes isn't as bad as people think and that knees behind toes actually puts incredible stress on the back and hips.
https://trustmephysiotherapy.com/myth-knees-never-past-your-toes/2 -
Same here ^, unless someone was obviously doing a maching wrong, but then that's why they have staff there. I usually just put on my headsets and get into my zone!!0
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