Is your SO into fitness with you?

KathleenMurry

Or if you're single, are you drawn to people living a fitness/healthy lifestyle?

I love my bf to death, definitely soul mates, marriage material etc etc etc. BUT we are completely opposite in lifestyle. For the most part, I think it's kind of funny and keeps things interesting.....but sometimes it bothers me a bit.

I'm in executive sales, I track calories and macros, I work out daily, I run races, never smoked, no drugs, quit drinking....you name it. My bf is a pipe welder (that alone I'm worried is horrible for his health, but he loves doing it so I'm happy for him), he smokes cigarettes and weed (lots), drinks every night, puts whipped cream on everything, eats a few chocolate bars a day. Somehow, he has a 6-pack. It's not fair.

While I don't approve of his lifestyle, it's not up to me to change it. He does tell me all the time he's proud of my hard work and he comes to my races to cheer me on. I know it's hard for him to get up at 7 am on a Sunday and get to these things, and worst of all for him, he has to control my dog the whole time I'm running Because he is so understanding of my lifestyle, I have been returning the favour. When I say it bothers me a bit, of course I'm concerned for his health and want him to live as long as possible, but I'm fully aware that's in his hands and all I can do is set a good example.

What about you guys? Could you be with someone with a completely different lifestyle? If you are, are you trying to change them or influence them? Are bad habits a deal breaker for you?

RaveOnOn

When I started reading this I thought "no, absolutely not. He HAS to be on board the fitness train, too" but then I saw the part about him coming to your races and that changed my mind. The idea that he drags himself out of the house to cheer you on says an awful lot. He may not be ready to take up the fitness gauntlet yet, but there may come a time when he wants to see what he's missing. It could start small with a 5K fun run. Personally, I got into running by joining a local pub running group. The beer and pasta bar at the end was my motivation. I still always give myself something at the end of the bigger runs (purely psychological, of course) but that may be his trigger, too. You may get enjoyment out of the act of running, but HE may do it for the beer at the end. All in all, I don't think it should be a deal breaker. But having an open mind is definitely helpful.

SarahBeth0625

He likes biking outdoors; I prefer to workout at the Y. So in a way, yes, but he doesn't understand why I workout indoors. I don't really care.

eric_sg61

No, I wish she was though...but she is perfect in every other way

HealthyVitamins

He really wants to be into fitness, and is terribly upset about the way his body looks (I think he is gorgeous) but he struggles with motivation no matter what I try.

I think Battlefield 3 and Dota are more his calling for now.

jessicawrites

I'm typically the one to suggest a gym visit or a run, but he's almost always up for it.

Brown523

Kathleen- with exception for the 6-pack I think we are dating the same person! He's a machinist so the dangers are pretty close to the same. lol I thought I could deal but it is starting to wear on me. I'm trying to be a healthier me but only last a week or so because I hate having to cook two seperate meals since he wont eat anything unless it came from a cow or out of a box. It's already hard enough to cook for two when one of us doesnt do left overs- (not me).There is my rant on the subject!

MinnieInMaine

Ha! Not even close. BUT he is very supportive of my fitness goals. He knows I'm going to have to be away from home for an extra hour every day so I can get my gym time in. He thinks of ways to get me moving of I'm sitting around a lot, even if it's not my favorite thing (hey, have you cleaned the windows lately?). And best of all, he brags on me to just about anyone who'll listen about participating in races and my weight loss achievements thus far.

I'll still ask him if he'd like to join me for a walk or suggest going for a hike but he's just not interested. He's an outdoorsy guy but would rather explore the woods from his 4 wheeler.

highervibes

My husband eats whatever he wants, smokes weed every day, doesn't exercise and isn't interested but he did quit smoking cigarettes. It happened about 8 months after I did and NO I did not ask or even suggest it. I led by example unintentionally. He is an adult, he can make his own choices. I love him just the same, but it's up to HIM, 100%.

I will admit to being jealous that he can eat TWO hamburgers and half a box of Jos Louis and it be pretty inconsequential (for now) so I would ask yourself if it's possible that that your motives aren't completely altruistic.

alpine1994

He's not. Sometimes I wish he was, and then I remember that I would prefer to work out by myself anyway. I wish he would want to do more active things though. I work a 9-5 (well...more like 7:30-7) and he works a lot of nights and weekends (he flies helicopters) so we never have a whole day together. Once in a great while we will, but we can never come up with something to do because he doesn't want to do anything active. I love the guy to death but sometimes it's like..UGH can we PLEASE go hiking?! I'm sure he would if I was like "look, we are going hiking today" but I don't want to make him do something he doesn't want to do.

Like another poster said, he is perfect for me in every other way and I could never give up on our relationship just because of the fitness thing.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

He's into endurance mountain bike racing. I dabble and mountain biking and lift weights. He's always been way more fit than me. But if it wasn't for him I'd probably be a lot more lazy and probably heavier. I think he's been a good influence on me in the last 10 years.

_DreDay_

When we first got together, he had lost about 100lbs. He was running, boxing and getting into MMA (he loves the fighting world). As time went on, he eventually lost the motivation and drive to the healthy lifestyle he was living and it all started with a tooth ache. Granted, I thought gym rats were crazy and I loved my fast food at the time so I don't think I was much of a help. We slowly gained weight together and drank on the weekends when we weren't going to college classes until I finally decided to change my life.

Now, I try to stay within my macros, track my food, run, lift and try to get PR's. It's a fufilling lifestyle to have esp. compared to what I used to look fwd to. He still loves his beer, green and pizza (I tell him pizza will be his downfall lol) but he's slowly getting motivated and back into exercising. I think I'm beginning to rub off on him!

He signed up for a 3 month summer contract at our gym and we've started to workout together. He even tried Spinning!! I'm more than happy to show him my lifting routines and to be of any motivational and positive influence that I can be as he's chosen to start being healthy again. I know he still has that active, health 'nut' inside of him somewhere, he just needs a little push getting him out

All and all, I stuck by him (and him by me) through everything and even when he wasn't into fitness (other than health related concerns) I was just fine with that, hell, he didn't bash MY bad eating, lack of exercise habits back in the day lol

TheGymGypsy

My boyfriend doesn't put much thought into how he eats, and will maybe come do 30 minutes of cardio a week with me at the gym. It's just not his priority. It makes me sad because he is 13 years older then me and I want him to be around for a long time, but he has to be the one who decides to change his habits.

BlueBombers

My husband is also working at losing some weight he has put on, although he has a lot less to lose than I do. He's not counting calories or being as picky as I am but he is eating a lot healthier. I've also been on him as his cholesterol is a bit high, so I'm mostly concerned for his health and well-being.

We don't work out together as we have different works schedules but we do support each other which helps a lot with this whole process. He does his thing, I do mine.

Iron_Lotus

Nope, but he is super supportive.

ETA: I am answering the title question only.

sillygoosie

Yes and no. He loves to hike, backpack and mtn bike. He doesn't understand my need to workout almost every day and he doesn't understand why I like organized races etc. He also never tries to stop me and really appreciates the benefits of all my hard work. :blushing: He's not lazy by any means but he could stand to lose a few pounds. I love him just the way he is. I will say that since I've met him I have been neglecting my road bike (which makes me sad and 10 lbs heavier) and riding my hybrid much more. We take easy rides for fun and it's nice because I lost that joy by over training last year.

MelsAuntie

No, he is almost 65, diabetic, has neuropathy in both feet, has balance problems. One reason I am getting fit is to do more of the farm work that he can no longer do. He can do laundry, dishes, cooking, food shopping and planning, while I haul hay and clean stalls.

KathleenMurry

Seems like the consensus is that we love our hubbies no matter what This is AWESOME!

PunkyRachel

nope he doesn't exercise, but he he eats my healthy cooking with no complaining, so I cut him some slack

KenosFeoh

Nope; not at all. He's proud of his big belly, believes it is a sign of maturity.

Bleh!

imtrinat

It was the other way around for me, for a long time. My husband is the healthy athlete and I was lazy and comfortably fluffy. He wanted me to feel the benefits he feels everyday but he never pushed it. I looked at him one day and saw this gorgeous, healthy, energetic man and decided he deserved better from me. We are going to spend our lives together and the last thing he deserves is a slob with potential health problems that are perfectly avoidable. As it is now, I'm still not as healthy as he is, but I'm doing much better. He seems to be happier that we can share it, too.

ezziepug

My significant other sleeps like 20 hours a day. They scarf down their dinner like they haven't eaten in years. It's so bad the food sticks to their whiskers! The only activity they like to do is chase a ball over and over and over. And I don't like the way they look at other women, especially their a--.

Donald_Dozier_50

My wife and I are complete opposites. We have taken those compatibility test and they support that. We are both here on MFP but are not working together hardly at all. The only thing we have in common is that I do 100% the cooking and I make the plates, measuring and weighing the food. I log in every day without fail, she doesn't. We exercise separately. I have no clue what she is doing and she has no clue about me.

We have been married 34 years the same way. I guess it is entirely possible to work.

fittie_cent

Yes and no... it's hard to make meals that he enjoys but he's up for the challenge

He's very Italian and is used to the huge portion pasta sizes, meatballs and all that other good stuff!

Teardrop81

My husband and I were both sedentary for a decade. I started exercising and eating right 10 months before he got interested. Now he's completely onboard. I was leading by example.

sijomial

Q: Is your SO into fitness with you?
A: Absolutely not! She hates exercise with a passion.

It's just one of many ways we differ, in some ways diametric opposites - she's a church warden and I'm an atheist for example.

It works though as we've been married for 30 years.
I actually find it a little creepy when meeting couples that are like twins and finish each other's.....

.....sentences. (Said my wife)

ninerbuff

Not with me, but yes. She enjoys dancing (ballroom and salsa with some Zumba mixed in) but she also lifts and occasionally comes in and does my TKO (kickboxing boot camp) classes.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

beachbabe6206

My bf works in the health field and studies medicine and nutrition but he also lovessss his treats, desserts, restaurants etc. This makes it pretty hard for me most days, because he loves to treat me to dinner and grab candy for our movie dates. I love to be active and I love to eat smaller healthier meals. He will go a whole day and eat 4 donuts, cake, cookies, ice cream and nothing else its terrible. I try to remind him to eat "real" food but when it comes down to it, he can't change until he decides to for himself. We are getting gym memberships this week and I've bought him swimming gear so he can swim laps with me. Hopefully that helps.

mandeenicoleb

Pretty much the same here. Although my BF says he feels amazing when he works out and says he likes to, it's so difficult to get him started. When I met him he drank soooooo much beer. Easily a 6-pack or more a day. He stopped that. I didn't pressure him, just helped him because he said he truly wanted to. He started becoming addicted too hookah which is no good especially because he quit smoking, that's not a good thing to get into.

Either way it's tough to motivate him, yet he says he wants me to. I feel like I don't want to be a nag or sound like I NEED him to workout, but it's confusing when he says he wants it and doesn't go for it. He knows he can't really used that excuse of not having time because although we both work full time I am also a full time student and workout 5 days a week. He just has his job.

I told him the most important thing to me is that he makes smart choices because I too want him to live a very long life. I hate the thought of ever being without him in my life.

bunbunzee44

Nope, my husband isn't so much into it. He started doing the 100 push ups challenge though and he's started to eat better, purchased weights for us etc but I don't feel he is as motivated. I wish he would work out with me more But I'm glad he doesn't 'sabotage' my eating like I often read here, or make nasty comments. He eats all the foods I eat and links fit girl pics for me xD

KathleenMurry

Pretty much the same here. Although my BF says he feels amazing when he works out and says he likes to, it's so difficult to get him started. When I met him he drank soooooo much beer. Easily a 6-pack or more a day. He stopped that. I didn't pressure him, just helped him because he said he truly wanted to. He started becoming addicted too hookah which is no good especially because he quit smoking, that's not a good thing to get into.

Either way it's tough to motivate him, yet he says he wants me to. I feel like I don't want to be a nag or sound like I NEED him to workout, but it's confusing when he says he wants it and doesn't go for it. He knows he can't really used that excuse of not having time because although we both work full time I am also a full time student and workout 5 days a week. He just has his job.

I told him the most important thing to me is that he makes smart choices because I too want him to live a very long life. I hate the thought of ever being without him in my life.

It was your status earlier that made me want to write this post!

I wonder if he says he wants to work out just to please you? Maybe he's not that interested but says he is because he's afraid of losing you? I catch my bf in that lie every now and then. Then he just outright admits his fear that I will leave him for a super fit runner.