Is your SO into fitness with you?

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  • KathleenMurry
    KathleenMurry Posts: 448 Member
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    He's into fitness, yes, though prefers to stick to running, crunches and kettlebell workouts. I like doing different things (trying new things... he's not so open to change). He's not into healthy eating with me tho...

    bloody SABOTEUR!!!!!

    Bahahahahahahahahaha
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Nope. She just keeps packing on weight and her midsection keeps getting bigger and bigger. More rapidly lately. It might be my fault. She's due in November.

    Congrats!!
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Or if you're single, are you drawn to people living a fitness/healthy lifestyle?

    I love my bf to death, definitely soul mates, marriage material etc etc etc. BUT we are completely opposite in lifestyle. For the most part, I think it's kind of funny and keeps things interesting.....but sometimes it bothers me a bit.

    I'm in executive sales, I track calories and macros, I work out daily, I run races, never smoked, no drugs, quit drinking....you name it. My bf is a pipe welder (that alone I'm worried is horrible for his health, but he loves doing it so I'm happy for him), he smokes cigarettes and weed (lots), drinks every night, puts whipped cream on everything, eats a few chocolate bars a day. Somehow, he has a 6-pack. It's not fair.

    While I don't approve of his lifestyle, it's not up to me to change it. He does tell me all the time he's proud of my hard work and he comes to my races to cheer me on. I know it's hard for him to get up at 7 am on a Sunday and get to these things, and worst of all for him, he has to control my dog the whole time I'm running :) Because he is so understanding of my lifestyle, I have been returning the favour. When I say it bothers me a bit, of course I'm concerned for his health and want him to live as long as possible, but I'm fully aware that's in his hands and all I can do is set a good example.

    What about you guys? Could you be with someone with a completely different lifestyle? If you are, are you trying to change them or influence them? Are bad habits a deal breaker for you?

    I MARRIED someone with a completely different lifestyle. Like you I never smoke, not a heavy drinker, always active, etc. Whereas my husband was a smoker, loves his beer, and relaxing! LOL Definitely not what I was looking for in a partner. But because I loved him accepted him for him and never pushed him to give anything up. But eventually he decided that he wanted to spend more time with me and we had a hard time getting PG, so he quit smoking. I got PG 4 months later (after 2.5 years of trying). Slowly but surely over the past 13 years he's been changing his lifestyle on his own to be more in line with mine. He's even recently started running and we did our first 5K race together last weekend.

    So I think if you really love your partner, you have to accept them for who they are. You can't push someone to change. That's where resentment starts kicking in! If THEY are invested in the relationship, THEY will decide to better themselves in order to make it last!
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
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    My husband and I both watch what we eat and work out. If one of us has a bad day or a cheat day we don't say anything. Afterall with his lifting and bulking schedule he eats way more than I would ever dream of.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My husband's interest in fitness waxes and wanes. He's Navy, so a certain amount of fitness is required, but there are long stretches where he's working such long hours that it just doesn't happen. He counts calories on and off, although he's trying to get into intuitive eating more because when he's out on the boat calorie counting isn't possible.

    Some of my habits have rubbed off on him over time, and some haven't. It's a non-issue in our relationship honestly. He supports all of my health/fitness stuff and will enter his recipes in my MFP recipe builder when he cooks so that I'll have the calorie counts. I support his desire to not worry about health/fitness all the time, especially when he's stressed out about other things.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I've always had a major thing for chubby guys, so it's no surprise to me I've never had a partner that is interested in fitness. Working out has always been my own thing.

    My current partner is interested in being healthier. I try to include him in my activities, drag him along on hikes, invite him to the gym...but it's weird. I feel weird sharing workouts. Those are mine. Go workout over THERE....
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
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    I would have to say no. He goes for walks every now and then with our dog or with our boys. He used to be in the Army, but since he got out he's packed on some pounds. I would love for him to lose the weight, but he's not ready. He smokes, drinks occasionally and eats what ever he wants. He's one of my biggest cheerleaders though and that means a lot to me. He doesn't ***** about me spending money on healthy foods or exercise clothes, he encourages me to because he knows how important it is to me.
  • KombuchaCat
    KombuchaCat Posts: 834 Member
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    My husband and I are both into being healthy and fit. It's easier for him since he has a super fast metabolism and I don't but he still goes to the gym 3-5 days/week at least, never smoked and we drink rarely. I used to smoke but never heavily and quit about 3-4 years ago (I really should know exactly...) I think it does make it easier to be with someone who has the same lifestyle as you for the longterm. We don't always do the same activities (I do yoga and he lifts, we both do cardio, hike, etc) but most of the time we are existing on basically the same wavelength.
    That being said I like that you acknowledge that it's not up to you to change your BF. People have to want to change themselves and if you push it will only cause resentment. I think you totally get that. Perhaps with time if you stay together he will see how great you feel and change slowly over time. Most people can't keep up that sort of lifestyle (drinking everynight, etc) for very long, it catches up to you. I'm not sure how old you guys are but once I turned 30 each year it gets harder and harder to "hang." :drinker:
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 672 Member
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    Yes, I started the journey on my own and had some results. Signed up here and had more results. I do the cooking and he loves the healthier meals. We walk (everyday) and (occasionally) workout together. He then signed up here a few months after me and has lost 15 lbs himself, by making better choices when he is on his own. We are both happier and healthier! :)
  • FrankiesSaysRelax
    FrankiesSaysRelax Posts: 403 Member
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    Yes and no. He goes through periods of being super good- crossfit, eating healthy, you name it. Ends up over-doing it b/c he wants to lose weight or get more muscles ASAP. Then he quits for awhile, puts back on the same 15 lbs he lost and starts all over again. I've tried to teach him about moderation and losing more slowly and without doing such drastic changes.. but he doesn't work that way. I just mind my own business and let him keep doing it his way.
  • KathleenMurry
    KathleenMurry Posts: 448 Member
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    I've always had a major thing for chubby guys, so it's no surprise to me I've never had a partner that is interested in fitness. Working out has always been my own thing.

    My current partner is interested in being healthier. I try to include him in my activities, drag him along on hikes, invite him to the gym...but it's weird. I feel weird sharing workouts. Those are mine. Go workout over THERE....


    OMG - if you love chubby guys, i wrote the best song for you. It was inspired by an overweight fella I had a huge crush on. Check this out :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYLRBbEjmcU
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    My SO is not into fitness and eats very differently than I do. With that said, as I've changed my habits he's slowly changed his a bit. He'll eat a good helping of veggies with dinner, even if I didn't make them for him he'll make them himself. He talks about doing cardio, but hasn't quite gotten to it yet. He works a pretty physically demanding job, so I can't really begrudge him his couch/videogame time anyways. It would be way easier if we ate more similarly, though, since watching him scarf down sweets can be somewhat torturous, but he's not overweight despite how he eats and I was, so he clearly has more self-control than I do (ie I eat 10 cookies while he's satisfied with 3) and does not need the kind of diet reform I do/did. If we were to part ways, though, I'd probably date someone a bit more active physically, but not so much that I'd feel like the schlub in the relationship.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    I'm single, but I have lived with various types of roommates that have caused me to be attracted to people who are of a "parallel" mindset. At the very least, I look for people who watch what they eat, set aside time for dedicated exercise, and do pay attention to things like calories consumed versus calories burned.

    Beyond that, I'm not too particular. I'm not expecting them to do the same exact thing as me.

    The experience that convinced me to pursue people with this similar mindset was based on a period of time I was living with my parents. None of us did the same thing when it came to exercise, but we all went to the gym together. So, while we were each in different ends of the YMCA, we were more "together" than if it was only one or two of us in the gym while the other didn't participate.

    In contrast, when I was in college and had roommates who did not even have this parallel interest, my going to the gym did drive a bit of a wedge between me and them. It's not like we became enemies or anything like that, but spending sizeable chunks of time apart meant we were following different paths and wound up in different worlds. I don't want fitness to be something that pushes myself and any prospective SO apart.
  • Holly_Lynn81
    Holly_Lynn81 Posts: 13 Member
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    My husband is not at all. We've been married nearly 13 years and he has no interest in fitness or diet. It's a struggle cooking sometimes because he like to butter, salt, and sweeten things up. I wish he would have a desire to be active and eat healthy too. It would be fun to go bike riding together or take walks. I still love him the same tho and won't push him to do these things. He supports my habit of running races and watches our kids while I go run or whatnot and that's very helpful. I am learning that he may not like the same things as I do, but it's ok. He's probably like me to be more interested in the projects he has going on the garage and I'm not :)
  • TheRunningGuppy
    TheRunningGuppy Posts: 651 Member
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    Not quite as much as I am, but he does his thing. He's at a fairly healthy weight, and eats well, so it's not as big a deal for him. We've run one 5K together, but other than that we don't work out together. Both of us enjoy running, and he has lost 15ish lbs in the last 6 months. Some days we take turns running and staying at home with the kids. Although I'm thinking about getting my older son into running with me. He's 9, and I've seen kids much younger than him complete races. Mostly I'm thinking it would be good for his attitude over anything else!
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I wouldn't be able to cope with smoking, no matter how good looking a partner was. I don't mind that my husband isn't as into fitness as I am. I am glad that he goes to the gym, hikes, climbs, and walks with me.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    we are unfortuantely almost complete opposites. He used to be super fit- and got fat. I met him like that- but it's really started to irk me more and more over the last year or so.

    Mostly because he doesn't have any hobbies of his own- and one of mine is being a gym rat... and it's hard because if he wants to do something- most of the time it's nothing.

    I hate doing nothing.

    Its a bigger fundamental difference than working out (which is why we are kind of on the rocks but meh- another story for another thread) is that I DO DO DO EVERYTHING. ALL THE THINGS.

    And currently- he does not.

    We are in negotiations. I don't care WHAT he does- as long as it's something. I can absolutely live with you doing your own thing- but I cannot abide by slothfulness- or laziness or lack of motivation in life.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    I've always had a major thing for chubby guys, so it's no surprise to me I've never had a partner that is interested in fitness. Working out has always been my own thing.

    My current partner is interested in being healthier. I try to include him in my activities, drag him along on hikes, invite him to the gym...but it's weird. I feel weird sharing workouts. Those are mine. Go workout over THERE....


    OMG - if you love chubby guys, i wrote the best song for you. It was inspired by an overweight fella I had a huge crush on. Check this out :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYLRBbEjmcU

    bump. So I can check out this song after work and feel better about my beef cakiness.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I've always had a major thing for chubby guys, so it's no surprise to me I've never had a partner that is interested in fitness. Working out has always been my own thing.

    My current partner is interested in being healthier. I try to include him in my activities, drag him along on hikes, invite him to the gym...but it's weird. I feel weird sharing workouts. Those are mine. Go workout over THERE....


    OMG - if you love chubby guys, i wrote the best song for you. It was inspired by an overweight fella I had a huge crush on. Check this out :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYLRBbEjmcU

    That is.....f*cking PERFECT.

    You may have just replaced

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3zlfY0pviY

    as my theme song.

    "Aint nothing wrong with loving chunky"
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I'm single, but it's an absolute requirement for me. It's a huge part of my life, and I can't be with a guy who doesn't understand and respect that. I've dated guys who don't lift, and regardless of what they say in the beginning, it never takes long before they start asking me to skip squat day to go do this or that, and, short of a family emergency, I'm not skipping squat day for anyone.

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