Is your SO into fitness with you?

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  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    My fiance has been a big part of my lifestyle change!

    While I don't blame my ex-husband's sedentary, indulgent habits for my weight - I was overweight before I met him - I do think that contributed to my continuing to maintain and/or gain so much weight. I often made the mistake of thinking, "Well I am still eating less than he is" when he was having hot wings, cheese sticks, garlic toast, and 4 beers and I was eating a salad drenched in dressing and chicken fingers. Or I'd compare my lifestyle to his; walking a few nights a week, cereal every AM, etc - versus his smoking, eating snack cakes and playing Xbox. So I thought I was doing pretty well and didn't see why I wasn't losing weight over the years.

    I could have done this while I was with my ex. I could have started eating completely different food, counting calories, and changing up my exercise. But I would not have. For some people it is not an issue. For me it was.

    When I met my now-fiance, I was already on a good path but I had a lot to learn and change (still do of course). I had already cut back on a lot of my former bad habits and after divorcing my ex I knew it was an opportunity to stop going to some of his favorite terrible-for-you restaurants, and cooking/baking ridiculous recipes...I even threw some of them in the garbage.

    My fiance lost a huge amount of weight in his early 20's after making the switch to pescetarian and drastically changing the way he cooked and ate, along with a big exercise increase. He looks like a different person than he did a decade ago. At first I thought he might be a bit too diet- and exercise-obsessed for me and it was more than a little intimidating. Hiking and biking weren't my usual date activities, and I'd never even tried a lot of the foods he ate. He assured me that he was into my body even as it was, and knew I had healthy levels of cholesterol, decent blood pressure, etc, so he wasn't worried about that on a dealbreaker level but he knew that I also wanted to lose a bit of weight at least, and get more active. So for the past year he's gradually introduced me to stuff he enjoys and it has REALLY helped.

    We're very compatible in that we love to indulge in the same stuff. It makes cooking and dates a lot easier having someone else who wants to get a sundae and share it after a day of walking everywhere, and no one suggesting late night fast food. Not to mention what all this healthy living does for our sex life!!!!! LOL If I found myself single again in the future (which hopefully won't happen!) I would make it a priority to find someone who places the same emphasis on healthy eating and an active lifestyle.
  • KathleenMurry
    KathleenMurry Posts: 448 Member
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    I've always had a major thing for chubby guys, so it's no surprise to me I've never had a partner that is interested in fitness. Working out has always been my own thing.

    My current partner is interested in being healthier. I try to include him in my activities, drag him along on hikes, invite him to the gym...but it's weird. I feel weird sharing workouts. Those are mine. Go workout over THERE....


    OMG - if you love chubby guys, i wrote the best song for you. It was inspired by an overweight fella I had a huge crush on. Check this out :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYLRBbEjmcU

    That is.....f*cking PERFECT.

    You may have just replaced

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3zlfY0pviY

    as my theme song.

    "Aint nothing wrong with loving chunky"


    That's actually adorable in some weird way haha
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    He is, but I wouldn't say that's something I think is essential in a partner. As long as they support me, and aren't a complete slob then I'm happy :)

    That said, I do think it's a definite plus for us both being into fitness. We can train together and stuff like that :D
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    No, my husband isn't into fitness Yet. Hoping he'll join but that is up to him, although it causes some conflict because I Really don't like what he brings home and what he allows the kids to eat. If it was just me, they wouldn't have some of that crap.

    On the rest of the lifestyles? Nope, too many differences that tend to explode later on. sorry. just my opinion, and yes we are 'white collar and blue collar' so its not that.
  • KathleenMurry
    KathleenMurry Posts: 448 Member
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    I'm single, but it's an absolute requirement for me. It's a huge part of my life, and I can't be with a guy who doesn't understand and respect that. I've dated guys who don't lift, and regardless of what they say in the beginning, it never takes long before they start asking me to skip squat day to go do this or that, and, short of a family emergency, I'm not skipping squat day for anyone.

    I get where you're coming from - I'd be pissed off, too. I guess I'm just really lucky in that boyfriend "gets it". If we haven't seen each other all week while he's away at work, ideally he would like me to get over to his place ASAP on Fridays. But I tell him "Sorry babe, I don't get home from work until 5:00, then I need to work out so..... I'll be over around around 8:00". He pouts, but he doesn't put up a fight :)
  • perrinjoshua
    perrinjoshua Posts: 286 Member
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    Well, my SO&SO blew me out of the water the last few weeks when he suggested he would like to accompany me to the pool where I swim a couple of nights a week. I am not a strong swimmer but I get the job done and although much more fit overall than he is, he is now keeping up with the number of laps I do AND passing me every time. Will he start to do my morning workouts with me? I doubt it. Will he walk with me every time I go out? Yes, definitely, has for years. Does he expect me to cook special meals for him? No. When I turned vegetarian, he ate what I made him and ate at his own place or at restaurants when he wanted meat. When I turned vegan, he read the literature and jumped right in. The thing is, it has to be his choice, not mine.
  • Specialkayrina
    Specialkayrina Posts: 242 Member
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    Yes, he is, and I'm so thankful for that.
    We make all our meal together, exercise together, and keep each other motivated.
    The only down side is that being a man he loses weight wayyyy faster than me, but I've learned not to compare myself with others anymore and I'm just glad I'm making another life commitment with him.
  • angieroo2
    angieroo2 Posts: 973 Member
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    He is most definitely not in to fitness. But, he works a manual labour job, so that's quite a bit of physical exertion.

    That being said, he is supportive of me going to the gym and understands that I feel better when I go.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    It was the other way around for me, for a long time. My husband is the healthy athlete and I was lazy and comfortably fluffy. He wanted me to feel the benefits he feels everyday but he never pushed it. I looked at him one day and saw this gorgeous, healthy, energetic man and decided he deserved better from me. We are going to spend our lives together and the last thing he deserves is a slob with potential health problems that are perfectly avoidable. As it is now, I'm still not as healthy as he is, but I'm doing much better. He seems to be happier that we can share it, too.


    This sounds a lot like us!

    When we started dating last June, I weighed almost 40 lb more than my fiance. Now I am 2-3 lb lighter than he is, and I'm so proud of that...although obviously, he is a man and 6'3" and I am female and 5'8" so I need to weigh much, much less...but I'm still glad that we have our little running joke that I'm "beating him" at the weight loss game now :-)
  • ProgressNotPerfection32
    ProgressNotPerfection32 Posts: 1,155 Member
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    My husband started atkins with me 2 years ago and lost 20 pounds but then made excuse after excuse to not eat our new lifestyle. I stuck with it, lost 60 lbs with no exercise. The start of June this year, I started a 3k running program to break an 8 month plateau. About 3 weeks in to it he called me obsessive, but I loved how I was feeling. Out of the blue, 3 weeks ago, he said he wanted me to teach him to run. I'm continuing of my running program plus starting interval beginner running with him. We also ordered the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred last week. Started that on Saturday. I LOVE IT, now, we run together 3-4 days/week and are doing the video together!!! He has even started tracking calories along with watching his macros. It super proud and LOVE that its something we can share together now.
  • SGSmallman
    SGSmallman Posts: 193 Member
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    When I got back into training I was with someone who not only didn't exercise but didn't like me to either. After ending that relationship and sorting myself out for a few months unintentionally I met someone in my gym we do some fitness related things together and stuff on our own/ others. She likes long distance running I prefer obstacle courses and compound lifts but we like to give each others interest a go. It's nice on occasion to see her boss it and show me a few things and on occasions I get to do the same.

    I could never go back to dating someone who wasn't into fitness. So long as there's a balance I'm happy :)
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 570 Member
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    Not, really, no. I told him I'd love for him to join me, but he has issues with nerve damage and chronic headaches that tend to discourage him from wanting to move. Any spikes in his BP seem to cause him pressure and pain in his head (he has mild Chiari.) I quit smoking, he still smokes. I DO worry about his health, but I can only harp on him so much without bordering the land of "NAGGING." What can ya do? That your SO comes to your races and supports you in other ways is worth its weight on gold.
  • micqs
    micqs Posts: 186 Member
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    Nope! He just goes along for the ride. I do the cooking so he is forced to eat what I make. Haha. I go running: he goes running. Like others said, I lead by example. He complains whenever we go running but he does it because I enjoy it and he wants to keep me company. He just started saying about how he wants to go to a gym though!!!
  • TinaA72
    TinaA72 Posts: 27 Member
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    My husband and I are quite opposite when it comes to fitness...He doesn't exercise or watch what he eats and yet, his blood work is better than mine...I have a desk job and his is very active...he drinks beer I do not...I exercise about 2-3hours a week ...more if possible...but he is 6' 2 and I am 5'3 so there's an advantage there in the weight gain department...taller can handle gains better than shorter folks...to me...

    But other than that, neither of us is overweight ..I just want to tone up and look better and more comfy in my clothes and he does nothing and can lose weight tremendously faster than me ...even if I do everything right...But love is stronger than these petty differences...
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 570 Member
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    Kathleen- with exception for the 6-pack I think we are dating the same person! He's a machinist so the dangers are pretty close to the same. lol I thought I could deal but it is starting to wear on me. I'm trying to be a healthier me but only last a week or so because I hate having to cook two seperate meals since he wont eat anything unless it came from a cow or out of a box. It's already hard enough to cook for two when one of us doesnt do left overs- (not me).There is my rant on the subject!
    Hahah! I cook healthy meals most times. Hubby has often praised my cooking, even though he is a huge junk food eater. That said, I make ONE meal, and if he doesn't wanna eat it, he can microwave some damn burritos. It's bad enough my three year old is in a "picky" phase; I can't cater to my husband too! lol
  • hopefaithlove24
    hopefaithlove24 Posts: 454 Member
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    When we first started dating and got married i used to call my husband 'the Health freak', he used to work out almost every night at the gym and he ate so healthy I thought it was ridiculous... After dating him for a while I went to the gym with im at least 3 times a week to spent time with him, I really enjoyed it, but since we got married we haven't been going. He bought some workout stuff for at home and does his workouts at home now, I used to be very slim and gained some weight in the last year, but recently started doing insanity. He wanted to do it with me, but has decided not too as he thinks insanity workouts onyl make you lean and not muscular! He barely has any fat on his body so he just wants to build muscle. Nowadays he's very busy round the house as we're doing some landscaping, so doesn't work out as much as he used too. I work out more than him at the moment, but then again, I need it a lot more than he does:) he already had his well earned six pack and mine is just slowly starting to show now:) I have def changed my eating habits to be more like his, which was a positive change for me.
  • Zaniejane
    Zaniejane Posts: 329 Member
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    Yes, I could live with someone with a different lifestyle. There are so many ways two people can be different besides just diet and exercise. My husband ran with me to be supportive, and then managed to increase his speed to double mine, with less effort. Grumble grumble.... But I love him anyways:)
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
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    No, he isn't. It doesn't bother me much, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to work out with. And I am starting to get concerned about his health, as some issues have popped up recently.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    I'm a lucky girl!! My hubby does all the cooking and about a year after I started trying to manage my eating he got on here and put some of his recipes into the recipe calculator. He was SHOCKED at how calorie dense the stuff he was making (and it's good fresh stuff with veggies and good stuff. . .just calorie dense!). He started making adjustments and we eat MUCH lighter now. Of course, changing the recipes and watching his portion sizes dropped 30 lbs for him in 4 months (it took me a full YEAR to accomplish that amount).

    He's not into fitness. His hobby is home brewing craft beer (YUM!!!). But, he is completely supportive of all my endeavors and comes to most of my races (he works Saturdays and can't always get off to come to those). So, while I run and he doesn't. . .he's made healthy changes and is SUPER supportive. I'm a lucky girl!!!
  • estielouise
    estielouise Posts: 46 Member
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    No my hubbie was fit when I met him, he walked up mountains and hiked hills, he did smoke. Since we have been married he's all but given up any form of exercise, he drinks beer most days, and sits working into the evening on his computer.

    But he super supportive, he does all the cooking, so makes me healthy meals, pays for my gym membership, and later this year he is going to support me when I give up work in September to change my career by retraining at school for 10 months! I am very lucky to have him, and to be honest if he did train with me he'd probably still beat me, he has a super metabolism , and it would probably annoy me after the months its taken me! Oh and he is 1 week into giving up smoking ( I am one month in!) so I managed to persuade him to quit with me!

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