I was FINALLY gonna talk to Hot Cafe Guy...
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Christen850
Posts: 19 Member
in Chit-Chat
I often go to a particular local cafe to grade papers and lesson-plan. This one guy, henceforth known as Hot Cafe Guy, is *always* here. I never have the guts to talk to him for 2 reasons:
1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
2) I am shy and insecure.
Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.
And he is here, of course!
However...
He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
Guess I can focus on getting work done...
1) He looks perpetually focused/angry.
2) I am shy and insecure.
Today was going to be the day! Feeling confident, good hair-day, etc. I packed up my laptop and headed for the cafe. I knew in my gut that HCG would be there.
And he is here, of course!
However...
He is currently being chatted up by a lovely young brunette.
This is literally the first time in a year that I’ve seen HCG smile.
Guess I can focus on getting work done...
1
Replies
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »If he is hot looking , then I am pretty sure he gets hit on a lot ...
Not someone you would want to get involved with , especially if you are insecure .
save you're self from a heart break .
A lot of good looking people rarely get hit on because of people assuming that they must get hit on all the time, or because their looks make people feel intimidated.
Not saying I'm good looking before this looks like a narcissistic post
But I never ever get hit on5 -
Maybe it's his sister.3
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Have a 2nd coffee shop handy in case this doesn't pan out for you....all the best.2
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »If he is hot looking , then I am pretty sure he gets hit on a lot ...
Not someone you would want to get involved with , especially if you are insecure .
save you're self from a heart break .
A lot of good looking people rarely get hit on because of people assuming that they must get hit on all the time, or because their looks make people feel intimidated.
game theory level 2..
now, game theory level 3
A lot of good looking people get hit on because people assume that A lot of good looking people rarely get hit on because of people assuming that they must get hit on all the time, or because their looks make people feel intimidated.3 -
I'd say if you don't see a ring go for it. Maybe incorporate the ol' "bend and snap"
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Oh no!!! you look like a lovely young brunette!! Do it tomorrow. What's the worst thing that can happen? If he's not interested, there's other HCGs in the sea!!1
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My boyfriend is incredibly good looking. I went for him with confidence. Now he's stuck with me lol4
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.
Here are some of my ideas to appear mysterious:
1) Answer a pretend phone call and loudly whisper, “They must not obtain the microfiche! We’ll have to make the exchange now! I’m at ____ Cafe; be sure your agent knows the passphrase.”
2) Instead of drinking my latte, I’ll not-so-discreetly pour small amounts into my shoe every few minutes.
3) To appear aloof: I will approach him and ask for the time. As he looks down at his watch, I turn and quickly walk away, muttering, “Whatever...”
THOUGHTS??7 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.
Is this hunter gatherer theory? I saw two male goats fighting over a female today. I suppose that's how it still works too.
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It wasn't this guy was it?
1 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.
It's 2017.
I don't know what 2017 has to do with it. When I was single I was exactly the way @Cutaway_Collar says. Though I don't know if most men are like that.
OP, you look great as well. You should go for it imo.1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Men do not like those who approach them. Well, most men. Men are chasers. The best you can do is offer mystery and be aloof.
Is this hunter gatherer theory? I saw two male goats fighting over a female today. I suppose that's how it still works too.
OP - If you want something you go for it, the worst he can say is no. In fact, he won't say no. He'll probably be courteous and chat you up a bit. Be friendly and see where it goes, at the very worst you've gained a friend.
Regardless of the outcome you've gained experience + you'll never have the feeling of regret of not knowing 'what if' you hadn't drummed up the courage.
Personal development is never a wasted cause.
Oh liver, this is the best advice I've read so far from you. Personal growth is always a gain.0 -
I promise I’m not trolling. I just have a dorky sense of humor. Also, I am simply incapable of thinking of normal social interaction scenarios.
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Just because this guy had a conversation with someone else doesn't mean you can't talk to him. If he was responding in a friendly way to someone else maybe that could make it easier to approach him.
After a year going to the same cafe you might try smiling and saying hi every now and then to the other regulars even if they aren't hot guys. Get some practice.0
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