What are some of the most positive things your parents passed down to you?
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My parents taught me what not to do by their example.
Sadly I can't think of anything positivite they taught me, except maybe that I figured out that nobody will ever care about you as much as you can care for and about yourself5 -
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My dad taught me how to manage money. My mom taught me how to love unconditionally. They both showed me that marriage is hard work, and there is no such thing as a perfect one. They bicker and argue and it wasn't hidden from their kids. It was just life, but after each day they spoke to each other with respect and kissed openly. They stuck it out and are truly best friends.
I love this.
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Ugh this is hard. And actually has me digging deep to find the positive.
Ok, money doesn't buy happiness. A good work ethic. How to keep a clean house.
Be a strong woman. Don't EVER let a man hit you. Smoking is bad.6 -
I need to say first that I'm genuinely happy for anyone who had a happy childhood.
The one thing I gained from the way I was parented is to value kindness above all other traits a person can possess. If you are strong enough (and perceptive enough), you can see that only weak people want to hurt people. My parents were weak.3 -
unfilterednate wrote: »Life, love and lineage was a saying around my broke home since before I can remember us being broken.
To this day, I can't help but want to reconstruct my family into an extended one, starting with me and whomever my wife will be.
This has shaped my expectations of family in such a way that I'm pretty diehard for anyone that comes into my circle of trust and I would give you the clothes off my back once you're there...
What about you?
"Everything happens for a reason" and "there is no such thing as coincidences" were big in my home due to many circumstances occurring and us being able to see the silver lining. This is something I will pass down to my children as well, and have already integrated into my group of friends.1 -
I will say that I respect the fact that most parents are just fumbling through doing they best they know how, whether or not it's right or wrong, including my folks. Some are just better at learning and growing than others.1
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I'm going to also say they taught me who not to be and thanks for the genetics...sort of.1
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This is a hard question to answer. I have nearly a zero connect with my parents now, which is sad, simply because they aren't experiencing their time as grandparents, but so be it. It is what it is. Not going to change my ways for people who don't really get it.
Growing up though, I will admit, I was really spoiled. Having a kid of my own now, my parenting techniques are different than how we were raised to an extent. Don't get me wrong, we spoil our kid to no end, but, they know their limits. Things get taken away when they are bad. I have a lot of patience. Throw a fit all you want, not going to make me blink an eye.
I guess the positives my parents taught me overall though:
-Don't be a work-a-holic. You can't take money to the grave. My dad wasn't always around growing up due to him working all of the time, but we were spoiled because of it. I think I would have rather had it the other way around though. Spend time with your family. Cherish each moment as if it were your last
- Tools. You can never be too crafty. My dad has shown me some things that I will always use. It is nice being able to work on your own vehicles.
- Don't go cheap. This is vague, but their are some things you just can't simply go cheap on.1 -
my father Died when I was a year old, so my mother had to raise five children in an Era women were really only had certain jobs, it was the 70's so no day care, I would come home to an empty house. MY mother worked her butt off trying to keep the house and feed five children, there were good times and bad. But she did it, she kicked butt when it wasn't the norm for a single lady, she had taught me, you work hard and drive forward, you pull your own weight. Work ethic is everything, and family comes first.
she died a few years ago, so those that have parents still alive, cherish your time with them, life is way to short.
I also had two brothers pass one from Cancer, one from a gun shot wound in a bar fight. IF anything, go live life, enjoy it, it can change on a dime.8 -
Definitely not good Parenting skills!
I've learned that on my own!
On a positive note.. My Mom's side of the Family doesn't start to grey until their late 60s -early 70s and all look very young for their age! :bigsmile:
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My father always told me to never depend on a man because they will enter my life and leave as they please. He taught me to do basic maintenance on my vehicle. He taught me self-reliance. He taught me the importance of hard work. He had an excellent work ethic. He taught me that family comes above all else, i.e. their well-being, their survival. He never failed to work his hardest at providing for my mom and his two children - me and my brother.
My mom taught me to learn patience (I still struggle with this). That one exudes patience with everyone around them especially those they love. That there is strength in walking away from a situation that is bad rather than exist within it, slowly dying. This was perhaps the hardest for me as I found it extremely difficult to walk away from my ex. That day took a piece of me.
My dad was very traditional, old-fashioned. He expected me to greet any and all, not shrink and hide away - this is still hard for me as I'm very much an introvert, but i do it anyway. He was strong willed, very independent and I know my mom was the love of his life. He always made sure she was comfortable, taken care of, that she got into the car first, that she had food readily available so that she and his kids never went hungry. He taught me manners and etiquette through his actions.
My mom taught me what it means to be strong. That should something not go as planned to always have an alternative. That strength happens after you fall.
Oh and my dad always told me, "why are you cooking only for yourself when there are other people around you that may be hungry? ". Lol thinking about that always makes me laugh.
Sorry for the long post.
P.S. another thing my mother tells me even now, "forgive even your enemies before the day ends. Never close your eyes in sleep, Sylvia, until you resolve any issue with another soul that plagues your conscience". This can be very hard at times, definitely easier said than done. ♡5 -
Thanks for all the honesty and well thoughtful posts.
. It is appreciated.
As the posts roll in you can tell that old adage "it takes a village to raise a child" coming into view.. as many parents struggle to figure it all out.. I often wonder how much more positive impressions and subjects would we have known if or communities were just a little bit closer knit..4 -
My father always told me to never depend on a man because they will enter my life and leave as they please. He taught me to do basic maintenance on my vehicle. He taught me self-reliance. He taught me the importance of hard work. He had an excellent work ethic. He taught me that family comes above all else, i.e. their well-being, their survival. He never failed to work his hardest at providing for my mom and his two children - me and my brother.
My mom taught me to learn patience (I still struggle with this). That one exudes patience with everyone around them especially those they love. That there is strength in walking away from a situation that is bad rather than exist within it, slowly dying. This was perhaps the hardest for me as I found it extremely difficult to walk away from my ex. That day took a piece of me.
My dad was very traditional, old-fashioned. He expected me to greet any and all, not shrink and hide away - this is still hard for me as I'm very much an introvert, but i do it anyway. He was strong willed, very independent and I know my mom was the love of his life. He always made sure she was comfortable, taken care of, that she got into the car first, that she had food readily available so that she and his kids never went hungry. He taught me manners and etiquette through his actions.
My mom taught me what it means to be strong. That should something not go as planned to always have an alternative. That strength happens after you fall.
Oh and my dad always told me, "why are you cooking only for yourself when there are other people around you that may be hungry? ". Lol thinking about that always makes me laugh.
Sorry for the long post.
What Wonderful Parents! You are Truly Blessed!
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unfilterednate wrote: »Thanks for all the honesty and well thoughtful posts.. It is appreciated.
As the posts roll in you can tell that old adage "it takes a village to raise a child" coming into view.. as many parents struggle to figure it all out.. I often wonder how much more positive impressions and subjects would we have known if or communities were just a little bit closer knit..
I agree. I think communities need to be more human.
P.s. i am liking this thread1 -
Lessons taught by parents-
People are more important than money. Family is important.
Make a plan.
Don't be late. Be early.
No snooze alarms.
Don't be mean, yell, hit or curse at people. Don't hate people. Try some understanding and patience.
Work hard. Do your best.
Be loyal. Respect traditions.
Take educational opportunities seriously.
When you go out in the world, present yourself as best you can. Put your best foot forward.
Mistakes happen. If you mess up, try to fix it.
Do it yourself. Don't pay people to do things for you or ask for favors all the time.
"It just doesn't matter". A lot of that *kitten* you could just let go.
Learning what to do or not do by seeing mistakes parents made-
Don't live beyond your means. Save up for things. Make a budget.
Don't buy stuff just because it is cheap. It is not a good deal if it just gathers dust or breaks.
Don't watch so much tv. Get up and move more.
Communicate your feelings. You are not a bad person if you are angry or sad.
Work should not be your whole life. Have some hobbies. Have friends. Spend time with your family.
You don't have to put up with a toxic job or people.
You can love someone without telling them or being physically affectionate but it is nicer to say it and show it more directly on a regular basis.
It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to call an electrician or pay someone to mow the lawn. It is okay to seek medical care before you are seriously ill.
It is okay to be late sometimes or not plan everything. The world will still turn.
Sometimes you should stand up and be more loud about things that are wrong.2 -
Not necessarily my parents but my son.....if you are cold go and stand in the corner of the room it's 90 degrees 5
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FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »My father always told me to never depend on a man because they will enter my life and leave as they please. He taught me to do basic maintenance on my vehicle. He taught me self-reliance. He taught me the importance of hard work. He had an excellent work ethic. He taught me that family comes above all else, i.e. their well-being, their survival. He never failed to work his hardest at providing for my mom and his two children - me and my brother.
My mom taught me to learn patience (I still struggle with this). That one exudes patience with everyone around them especially those they love. That there is strength in walking away from a situation that is bad rather than exist within it, slowly dying. This was perhaps the hardest for me as I found it extremely difficult to walk away from my ex. That day took a piece of me.
My dad was very traditional, old-fashioned. He expected me to greet any and all, not shrink and hide away - this is still hard for me as I'm very much an introvert, but i do it anyway. He was strong willed, very independent and I know my mom was the love of his life. He always made sure she was comfortable, taken care of, that she got into the car first, that she had food readily available so that she and his kids never went hungry. He taught me manners and etiquette through his actions.
My mom taught me what it means to be strong. That should something not go as planned to always have an alternative. That strength happens after you fall.
Oh and my dad always told me, "why are you cooking only for yourself when there are other people around you that may be hungry? ". Lol thinking about that always makes me laugh.
Sorry for the long post.
What Wonderful Parents! You are Truly Blessed!
Thank you ♡0
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