Online Dating!
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I've tried it. It wasn't for me. I reactive my okcupid account every couple months when I'm feeling bored and quickly deactivate it. I don't "click" with very many guys in general even if we do have a lot in common. I don't like the idea of meeting someone who is more or less a stranger and can't shake the feeling that I'm being judged and weighed against the guys ideas of a good lay, gf, wife, etc. I also feel when I put up my best photos that I look much better than I do in person and someone will think I lied. I wanted to put up an awful photo of myself but my friends told me not to and while I thought it was funny I see their point. Most guys don't want to talk much before meeting - and I understand that - see if there is a spark so we aren't wasting time right? Well I don't want to waste a bunch of time meeting guys when I can tell after chatting for a few days that I might not get along with them. It's a catch 22. I did meet one guy - we seemed to have a lot to talk about before meeting but when we did meet it was very meh. He seemed a lot older (not physically just in general) and while it wasn't a horrible experience it wasn't a great one either.
The first time I signed up I used a photo from the waist up because I am a bigger girl and wanted that to be clear from the start but that just got me lots of messages about my boobs. It calmed down once I took that photo down.
My biggest problem would be guys who don't have much to say or trail off and really pushy guys. If I tell you more than once that I am not interested in meeting until I know you better and you keep asking me "what about tomorrow night" I'm going to stop talking to you because you are already annoying the crap out of me.
There were a few guys that I thought were probably pretty nice but I don't feel I could really get to know them on there and didn't want any of the pressure with meeting them in person. I just hate "dating" in general. All of the guys I've had relationships with I knew them as coworkers or friends or friends of friends so it wasn't so weird - even a few online ones from gaming.0 -
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* Don't discount someone just because you don't think their pics are that great. I did NOT think my fiance chose good pics for his profile. I looked at it for months and skipped over it every time because I didn't feel attracted to him. When I finally gave him a chance and met in person, he looked TOTALLY different in a good way! Instant sparks!
Some people are not photogenic and look way better in person
Yes....I feel exactly the same.0 -
I met my fiance on a dating website and we now have an awesome 2 week old son!0
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I signed up for OKCupid, as well. It's been hit or miss - but, I'm definitely having fun, and have gotten some great stories out of the experiences. :-) The above advice is very sound, and actually easy to follow. Just be aware and pay attention to signs and clues.
Never knew MFP was also a dating site! HA! It's delightful to read that some of the couples met here. When someone is right, here's hoping that you find them who-knows-where!0 -
writeaprisoner dot com0
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I tried several sites when I was single. You have to weed through a lot, but it can work. I met my boyfriend on POF over a year ago and we have been living together for 2 months now. I was about ready to give up for good and he was just signing back on after a few months break. We were meant to meet. (ok our paths had crossed before, but never officially met until I approached him on the site)
My best advice is be honest, don't let the picture alone dictate who you meet, and go with your gut instinct.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm with my boyfriend I met on OkCupid for almost 2 years now. I also tried match.com and eharmony.com, but it all depends on what you're looking for because they all seem to cater to different types of people - also, OKC is free and most other sites are not. It's real hit and miss with all of them, but worth a try I think.
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I actually joined OKC to laugh at the creepers and wound up meeting my amazing boyfriend through it. There are genuine people on there who want more than just a hookup and the more of those little quiz questions you answer, the better the match you find.
Always be really careful with what you put on those sites and say to people, though. My boyfriend accidentally gave away so much that I wound up knowing his home address before we'd ever met. (He linked me to a video on his YouTube account, where I found another video with his name on it, found him on Facebook to make sure he was legit and his address was public.)0 -
Well...there is always craigslist :smooched:
I met my husband online, though not on a dating site. It was a forum for an anime convention. My friend and I were looking for more friends our age to hang out with at the convention and he was too. So we met at the convention after a few nervous conversions and hit it off (go geek powah!) Started dating, moved in at the end of the year...got engaged at the same anime convention the next year. Now we have been married for almost 3 years and have 2 beautiful daughters.
Just try it and have fun with it. I wasn't looking for anything serious but I found him 0 -
I met my current boyfriend on a dating site. Only been together five months, but he's lovely....and we're off to Paris together next month! So I'd recommend it!!!0
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I am on both eHarmony and Match.com.....Losing 30 pounds helps give you a sense of confidence! eHarmony is more intensive and a lot slower in the responding. I have a date tonight, we are meeting in a public place. I wish you could make updates to your profile without matches seeing that...I am constantly thinking of things I would like to change, but don't0
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i realized recently that online dating has alot of fake profiles. They need to be active in getting rid of them or the experience is going to be ****.0
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Online dating is stupid. I absolutely did not meet my husband by stalking him on a internet forum the summer of 2006. Was more like early autumn...0
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I met my boyfriend here, on MFP. Neither of us were looking for a partner . . . it just kind of happened.
I actually think some of the better relationships are formed from friendships that end being so much more. When you are friends with someone you are a lot less guarded and are more true to who you really are than when you are doing the whole "I hope he likes me" thing and are trying to impress someone. Because we were friends first we both kind of threw all of our garbage out there from the word go. We got to know the good, the bad and the ugly about each other pretty quickly. When we moved from being friends to being in a relationship I didn't have to worry about any surprises or him not being the perfect match for me because I already knew what I was getting.
My boyfriend is my best friend and that's why we have such a strong bond beyond how much we love each other. So, "looking for love" isn't always the best path. But hey, opinions are like *kitten*. Everyone has one.
I actually believe in this philosophy...however, I have been single for 15 years (basically since I started wanting to date at 14) and now that I face turning 30 next year without ever being asked out it just doesn't fly. I get "friend-zoned" by men pretty voraciously and stay in that zone until the friendship eventually dissolves.
I used to blame it on my weight seeing as I'm a highly educated, literate, and highly employed woman but women on MFP have opened my eyes to realize that everyone of every shape finds someone.0 -
Had good and bad experiences, just like meeting in person. Be careful, it may be worth it.0
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My husband and I met online over 9 years ago! We were just friends for a year and then had a long distance relationship for a year until he moved to be with me. We got engaged after that. Now we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary and we have 2 kids! We didn't use dating site though. Good luck!0
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Howaboutwe is amazing.0
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The free sites:
OkCupid - Most promising site to find a relationship, many of my friends have found success on here.
Plenty of Fish (POF) - Probably the most sketch site of all of them. I'd only recommend this one if you're feeling lucky, but most likely will end up prepositioning yourself to get raped.
Tinder - Best app (iOS/Android) for hookups imo. But it's also really great to meet new people, especially if you're willing to go out and do stuff.0 -
It can happen - I met my husband on Match - my best friend met her husband on Match (after trying Toyboy warehouse for some fun first), an ex-colleague also met her husband on Match, and another good friend met her husband on The Guardian dating website. However, I have also had other friends and colleagues who met people to date for 4-12 months, with no marriage - but which I also see as a successful outcome.
In addition to what some of the other posters have advised (being safe etc), I also:
1. Looked at other peoples profiles before writing your own. You don't want to come across as only a good time girl, but neither do you want to seem like your looking for husbands and babies, etc.
2. Everyone has the pre-requisite scuba diving or skiing photo, and the made up, at your best photo (eg at a wedding), but it is the other photos of you looking relaxed and natural, that appeal. You want to look good in your photos, but better in person.
3. I only engaged with guys who contacted me first and mentioned something about my own profile - ignore general comments, or blanket emails. You want to see that they are interested in you.
4. Do not over invest emotionally in someone before you even meet them. Emailing for too long can create a false sense of intimacy or connection - in the end, you need to meet them to see if the connection is there.
5. If you want longer term -don't sleep with them for about a month - unless you want to, but then don't be surprised if they don't stick around long after. (This is not meant to sound judgemental or manipulative -but experience has borne this out)
6. It sounds stupid, but I guess that I was expecting everyone I met to be weirdos or players - but that was not the case. Most were nice people, and most were just looking for what we all are - friendship, love and affection, marriage and babies -etc
7. The stats worked out by my friends and I about our collective dates meant that about every 7th person we met there was a longer term dating / relationship formed
Sorry if this is TMI - I was lucky to have the experience and tips of friends and colleagues who had already been on-line dating for a while before I started, and so some of this was advice from them, some I learned myself. I was lucky to meet someone on a site that I married - I had decided he was my last date and then I was not renewing my membership, and it worked out for me. Even if I hadn't met him, however, I would still have enjoyed the overall experience as it gave me more confidence and also a greater insight into people and how they think.
It is like everything in life - you get out of it what your looking to get out of it.0 -
I've never had any luck but my girlfriend got married after finding someone on match, I tend to attract strange guys lol0
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I haven't dated much in last 3 years, did use POF for 3-4 months late last year... Went on a date nearly every week... Even after reading their profile and chatting to the girls on the phone... They were different meeting them in person... And a few total loony tunes and some scary...
Not sure what I want to do in future... I don't tend to 'look... Might try again...'0 -
I don't know if this is helpful, but an online dating site led me to my boyfriend. But I knew him before and messaged him half as a joke because his profile came up on my match list.... But we kind of hit it off because of that0
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Wait! You're telling me this isn't an online dating site?? What the hell am I doing here then.0
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I haven't had much luck with dating lately so I am thinking of doing online dating. I'm kind of nervous about it though!
I was hoping you guys could share your experiences with online dating. Any tips or advice?
Thanks!
And also which site is the best? Haha, I don't know what site I should use!
Out of curiosity..where are you located? Sometimes that can have a swing on who you're meeting online in certain areas. I know DC area can be interesting..I'll put it that way!!
I live in Denver Colorado 0 -
In the days before internet dating took off people went on blind dates, I met my husband on a blind date on June 4th 1994 and we were married within 3 months and gave birth to my son on.....June4th 1995! exactly a year later lol, we have been together happily for 19 years . The advantage of a face to face meeting early on was if there was no spark or attraction then we were only invested one date in and could have walked away easily.
there are drawbacks to internet dating and the whole getting to know you slowly thing, you still have to meet at some point and may not be attracted to each other after all, by that time you may have opened up about everything under the sun over a period of months and spent hours on the phone too, so it wont be as easy to disentangle emotionally and from somebody who comes across in person as a weirdo.
Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.0 -
I had success on Match.com. I went on it because two of my friends met their husbands through this website. And, I can boast that I too met my husband on Match.com! While there are a lot of emotionally unstable or strange people out there (or even "players" - that goes for both sexes), I found that I watched very closely to what people said when they emailed me, as well as what they said on their profiles. What made my husband's profile different is that he wasn't doing some broad public announcement (e.g., "Hey ladies! Here I am. To apply, you cannot have any baggage whatsoever!"). His communication was realistic (..."We all have baggage, as long as it fits into the overhead compartment, we're good"), simple ("I'm looking for someone who can give me a different viewpoint on life.") and it was like he was talking to just one person (in this case, ME!). Funny enough, my profile was the same - as if I was talking to just one person and letting them know who I was and what I was looking for.
I would say don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Just have rules in place for yourself. Mine were to not take my profile down when met with disappointment, and to have trusted friends review profiles and emails that I felt uncertain about and give me their take. I also put a 2500 mile radius on my search, as my viewpoint was that someone out there would be willing to relocate to be with me. (My husband was in a different State and relocated to be with me.)
Good luck!0 -
Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.
That's a bit of an old-fashioned notion, that when two people have sex right away the woman is the only one being used. It all depends on what women want from the guy, and sometimes it's just a fun weekend.0 -
Finally my husband works with a lot of men , some of the single ones use Plenty of Fish looking for a weekend legover. They all say the women are willing and up for having sex immediately , if thats the case then they cant complain about being used . Whether you meet someone in real life or meet someone via the internet , just be safe, dont rush into physical intimacy and until you go exclusive then date as many people as you want.
That's a bit of an old-fashioned notion, that when two people have sex right away the woman is the only one being used. It all depends on what women want from the guy, and sometimes it's just a fun weekend.
Yes, in the past I've met a few women in the past who just wanted a 'leg over' on the first evening, no relationship, just a leg over... And that's it... No problems... I just more women were more honest like that... Its the whole point in being single, yes, would be nice to find someone to have a 'relationship', until then a fun weekend doesn't hurt anyone....0 -
I thought this was online dating....wtf
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Do you mean online dating like POF? where you make an account, meet someone online then meet in real life? if so that's not so weird.
But if you mean dating online, and never meeting the person and having cyber sex sessions, then it's a bit weird.0
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