Bullies
Replies
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cwolfman13 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »I applaud the parents keeping unnecessary technology from their kids. I managed to get by without a phone when I was a kid, as did most of us because cell phones didn't exist when we were teenagers. I was a teenager when beepers were the thing. I only had one because I paid for it myself, with my part time job money. It seems like a lot of parents get their kids phone, tablets, etc as a way to keep them busy so they don't have to watch them, or raise them. That's where a lot of the bullying problems come from. Kids too young have technology they don't need with no kind of parental controls.
I'm not sure I understand. How are a lot of the bullying problems coming from technology? Are we talking about internet bullying in this case?
My kids are 7 & 5 and they both have tablets. I'm not sure how keeping kids away from modern technology is a good thing...they use them for entertainment as well as school stuff that requires either a computer or tablet to complete the project/homework.
We do limit screen time and have parental controls in place, but I think it's pretty important for kids to keep up with and learn the technology that they will be working with going forward. They do not yet have phones...that will likely come in middle school when they'll be a bit more independent, home alone, etc and need to get a hold of one of us as we do not have a landline.
ETA: Verizon still provides basic phones.
Back in my day, if a kid said something nasty or started a rumour about you, heck it took all day if not longer to spread. Now one person says one thing online (true or not) and boom it's viral.
Not to mention, smart phones or tablets with cameras, it's now really easy to take pics of people, post it, and watch them get shamed online. In my day you had to get a camera, buy some film, take the pic, develope the film, pick up pics and then you had a least a good week+ before you got called ugly.
Ok...but none of this technology is going anywhere and is only going to get more advanced...and in the case of my kids, it's basically a requirement for school.
The only thing I know to do about it is to limit screen time and what sites they're allowed to go to.
I realize it's not going anywhere. I'm not saying throw all smartphones in a bonfire like it's some 'risque' book. Just that now, technology does make it easier for bullying to happen. Jmho.0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.
How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.
I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves.
She's about to turn 14. My 8 year old constantly asks for a Phone. My oldest just laughs and says good luck with that one lol
Oh good, there's hope then. I hate knowing that I might be excluding him from things that his friends are participating in as he gets older because I really don't want to hand over a smartphone to him or don't want him to have all the Internet access other children might have. So we're in that process of trying to figure out what is and isn't appropriate.. and it's weird thinking about this and realizing that my parents didn't have to go through any of this with me. I was a teenager by the time we had access to the net, so I mostly self governed and stayed out of trouble (mostly).
Its a catch 22-you don't want them to have a phone to protect them but because all the other kids have one, they get singled out and possibly bullied for it. I don't see why any of these young kids need a smart phone can see potential benefits of having a phone but certainly not a smart phone.
Yes, I was considering a basic phone so he could call for help when/if he needs it or be able to tell us where he is, but I don't know if I want him having a fully capable smart phone with access to the Internet. I feel kinda overprotective being that way, but man.. both my husband and I full well know the dangers of the Internet and the *kitten* people that can inhabit the world.
Thankfully, right now he and kids his age are happy with computer games focused on learning, funny videos of cute animals and cartoons.
I have another year or so at least to think it over.
I don't have kids but I do wonder what I'd do in this situation. I don't like the idea of doing something just so they fit in esp when I feel that these parents are taking the easy way out. Yet obviously I don't want my imaginary kid to be bullied. The problems that an imaginary father faces huh lol
Do you ever worry that even the learning is happening on computer screens? I know interactivity probably captures a kid's imagination more but its no wonder that kids have got their heads so stuck in phones these days
Most definitely. They learn various things on computers at school at designated times, but here at home I rarely let him touch the computer unless he's watching something with me. Other kids in his class already spend most of the their time on iPads or smart phones at home, which baffles me. I mean, I let our son watch television and he helps me play certain games (Minecraft, Galaga, Tetris, Pac-Man), but I only let him play on the tablet (which is mine) when we go on long trips or as a special treat when we need to go somewhere where a long wait is probably going to happen.
I do worry a lot that his (and all children) access to television/screen time is going to severely hinder their imagination or ability to be patient later on. We live in a time when everything is so instantaneous. I bet it will be utterly baffling to him when he gets to be a teenager and realizes that a time existed when kids didn't have any of this technology.
I'm beginning to understand how my folks must feel.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »I applaud the parents keeping unnecessary technology from their kids. I managed to get by without a phone when I was a kid, as did most of us because cell phones didn't exist when we were teenagers. I was a teenager when beepers were the thing. I only had one because I paid for it myself, with my part time job money. It seems like a lot of parents get their kids phone, tablets, etc as a way to keep them busy so they don't have to watch them, or raise them. That's where a lot of the bullying problems come from. Kids too young have technology they don't need with no kind of parental controls.
I'm not sure I understand. How are a lot of the bullying problems coming from technology? Are we talking about internet bullying in this case?
My kids are 7 & 5 and they both have tablets. I'm not sure how keeping kids away from modern technology is a good thing...they use them for entertainment as well as school stuff that requires either a computer or tablet to complete the project/homework.
We do limit screen time and have parental controls in place, but I think it's pretty important for kids to keep up with and learn the technology that they will be working with going forward. They do not yet have phones...that will likely come in middle school when they'll be a bit more independent, home alone, etc and need to get a hold of one of us as we do not have a landline.
ETA: Verizon still provides basic phones.
Back in my day, if a kid said something nasty or started a rumour about you, heck it took all day if not longer to spread. Now one person says one thing online (true or not) and boom it's viral.
Not to mention, smart phones or tablets with cameras, it's now really easy to take pics of people, post it, and watch them get shamed online. In my day you had to get a camera, buy some film, take the pic, develope the film, pick up pics and then you had a least a good week+ before you got called ugly.
Ok...but none of this technology is going anywhere and is only going to get more advanced...and in the case of my kids, it's basically a requirement for school.
The only thing I know to do about it is to limit screen time and what sites they're allowed to go to.
I realize it's not going anywhere. I'm not saying throw all smartphones in a bonfire like it's some 'risque' book. Just that now, technology does make it easier for bullying to happen. Jmho.
I worry that a lot of technology is just technology for technology's sake. I see things like talk of integrating humans and technology and wonder is this really necessary. Do I need lenses that allow me to answer a phone. Its great sci-fi but it doesn't in my opinion make for great real life. But that's another conversation.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »I applaud the parents keeping unnecessary technology from their kids. I managed to get by without a phone when I was a kid, as did most of us because cell phones didn't exist when we were teenagers. I was a teenager when beepers were the thing. I only had one because I paid for it myself, with my part time job money. It seems like a lot of parents get their kids phone, tablets, etc as a way to keep them busy so they don't have to watch them, or raise them. That's where a lot of the bullying problems come from. Kids too young have technology they don't need with no kind of parental controls.
I'm not sure I understand. How are a lot of the bullying problems coming from technology? Are we talking about internet bullying in this case?
My kids are 7 & 5 and they both have tablets. I'm not sure how keeping kids away from modern technology is a good thing...they use them for entertainment as well as school stuff that requires either a computer or tablet to complete the project/homework.
We do limit screen time and have parental controls in place, but I think it's pretty important for kids to keep up with and learn the technology that they will be working with going forward. They do not yet have phones...that will likely come in middle school when they'll be a bit more independent, home alone, etc and need to get a hold of one of us as we do not have a landline.
ETA: Verizon still provides basic phones.
Back in my day, if a kid said something nasty or started a rumour about you, heck it took all day if not longer to spread. Now one person says one thing online (true or not) and boom it's viral.
Not to mention, smart phones or tablets with cameras, it's now really easy to take pics of people, post it, and watch them get shamed online. In my day you had to get a camera, buy some film, take the pic, develope the film, pick up pics and then you had a least a good week+ before you got called ugly.
Ok...but none of this technology is going anywhere and is only going to get more advanced...and in the case of my kids, it's basically a requirement for school.
The only thing I know to do about it is to limit screen time and what sites they're allowed to go to.
I realize it's not going anywhere. I'm not saying throw all smartphones in a bonfire like it's some 'risque' book. Just that now, technology does make it easier for bullying to happen. Jmho.
I agree...I'm just curious as to what to do about it.
All I know to do is to educate my kids and let them know that there are just *kitten* people in the world and there are people who can be even shittier hiding behind a computer and social media. The other day I had someone from some group I follow on FB go off on me and a bunch of other people and started saying all kinds of nasty things...my kids could tell I was surprised and I told them what was going on and they asked me what I was going to do. I just told them that there are some really bad people out there and I just hit "block"0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »I applaud the parents keeping unnecessary technology from their kids. I managed to get by without a phone when I was a kid, as did most of us because cell phones didn't exist when we were teenagers. I was a teenager when beepers were the thing. I only had one because I paid for it myself, with my part time job money. It seems like a lot of parents get their kids phone, tablets, etc as a way to keep them busy so they don't have to watch them, or raise them. That's where a lot of the bullying problems come from. Kids too young have technology they don't need with no kind of parental controls.
I'm not sure I understand. How are a lot of the bullying problems coming from technology? Are we talking about internet bullying in this case?
My kids are 7 & 5 and they both have tablets. I'm not sure how keeping kids away from modern technology is a good thing...they use them for entertainment as well as school stuff that requires either a computer or tablet to complete the project/homework.
We do limit screen time and have parental controls in place, but I think it's pretty important for kids to keep up with and learn the technology that they will be working with going forward. They do not yet have phones...that will likely come in middle school when they'll be a bit more independent, home alone, etc and need to get a hold of one of us as we do not have a landline.
ETA: Verizon still provides basic phones.
I think bullying comes from the fact that kids are picking up habits of what they see or read online. The parents who expect technology to babysit their kids in particular. The parents aren't spending time with their kids, telling them right from wrong. Kids getting their influence from stuff they see online when they aren't being monitored. I'm not saying all parents that allow their kids time with technology are like this. I know some people who monitor and limit their kids. It's unfortunate some parents don't do that.1 -
Apparently he was using the N word2
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Mandygring wrote: »Oh yeah I can't watch that either. I hate bullies and can't stand to see anyone bullied. It really breaks my heart. I'm a nice person so I've had my fair share as most ppl have.Mandygring wrote: »Oh yeah I can't watch that either. I hate bullies and can't stand to see anyone bullied. It really breaks my heart. I'm a nice person so I've had my fair share as most ppl have.Mandygring wrote: »Oh yeah I can't watch that either. I hate bullies and can't stand to see anyone bullied. It really breaks my heart. I'm a nice person so I've had my fair share as most ppl have.
yes you are mandygring snake-in-eye
Lol you know it
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JuddNelsonMFP wrote: »I think this whole thing has gotten out of control in this day and age. Back when I was a kid we were free to bully anyone we wanted. Now it’s so frowned upon I find it hard to have any fun. What about my feelings? My rights? Why isn’t anyone fighting for what’s right for me?
Ok Judd...
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FYI -
Kimberly Jones' Keaton Jones' mother's Facebook page features several photos of herself and friends displaying the Confederate flag. There's also a post in August where she seems to be telling people to stop whining about slavery and racism. It's not clear exactly what she's referring to, but the post was written 2 weeks after the neo-nazi rally in Charlottesville.
The story of Keaton Jones is going from the most likable kid in America to his racist mom using her own sons suffering to make money. This is disgusting. Poor kid and what a way for the mother to ruin something good for her child.
This thread started for good reasons. Please keep it this way, but people who use other people are a kind of bully too. It makes me sick to find out how his own mother is using this kid.7 -
Look.....A kid was/is being bullied. Plain and simple. Think about how many kids are teased and bullied because of crap their parents have done. Yeah, we don't know the whole story, but it doesn't diminish the fact that a child was afraid to eat lunch at school. That is real life.
If anything, it has started a very much needed conversation about an awful problem. Little kids are killing themselves because of bullying and everyone should have eyes wide open over this problem.4 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Look.....A kid was/is being bullied. Plain and simple. Think about how many kids are teased and bullied because of crap their parents have done. Yeah, we don't know the whole story, but it doesn't diminish the fact that a child was afraid to eat lunch at school. That is real life.
If anything, it has started a very much needed conversation about an awful problem. Little kids are killing themselves because of bullying and everyone should have eyes wide open over this problem.
I knew about this story the same as you did. It's only recently I found out how *kitten* up the mother is. I do think she was trying to get social media attention by exploiting her child. Otherwise why would she ask the questions she did. I bet this isn't the first time this poor kid has left when he did. She knew exactly what to ask him and filmed it...
No, what she did does not diminish what is going on with kids today. I know having been one of those kids. I bet many others here know too.
I am just heartbroken for that kid that has a mother like that. What kind of mother would use her own son's pain for her personal gain? That's all I'm saying.
This is a good thread Mel. I'm just very upset at what trash his mother turned out to be and how she doesn't seem interested in her own child's well being.2 -
She may very well be a piece of shiit. But it's not that kid's fault. It's sad that she is exploiting the situation, unfortunately she's not the first parent to do such a thing and won't be the last.
Regardless of the way it all came out, bullying needs to be exposed and a change needs to come. We need to be better people. Not to sound too hippy-ish, but this world is hurting and we really need to love each other more.1 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
Regardless of the way it all came out, bullying needs to be exposed and a change needs to come. We need to be better people. Not to sound too hippy-ish, but this world is hurting and we really need to love each other more.
Yessss!!!
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I am very ashamed to admit this, and I feel awful to this day for some of the things I did, but I was a bully for a short time when I was in grade 6.
I was hurt, and I then tried to hurt other people...and it worked. Knowing that I could hurt and manipulate other people gave me a sense of power or control that I didn't have in my home situation. I felt like they "let me do it", it was so easy.
It's scary the sense of "power" it gave me. A sense of "satisfaction". I didn't even dislike the 2 people that I remember bulling, they were nice girls and I was jealous of them. Of course I wasn't alone in my actions, my friends all joined in, but I was the instigator.
I quickly realized that my behaviour was horrible, it actually did dawn on me one day "how would I feel if someone treated me this way" and I did a 180 and became the opposite of a bully, I went out of my way to defend or befriend people who were treated badly by other kids.
I still feel an intense guilt for the way I treated those 2 girls...and I should, I deserve it, I have a monster in me.
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My eldest was bullied at school not only by the children but a teacher!! She had an ear condition which meant her ear leaked. Her first operation was when she was 4 years old her last one was when she was 16 years old. She is now 24 and a very confident adult. She decided these bullies are the ones with the problem and became stronger from the years of abuse but not all children/adults can deal with such abuse and turn down a darker road sometimes ending in tragedy.
It is absolutely disgraceful how people young and old feel they can say and do whatever they please to cause someone else hurt. We would like to believe as we all get older maturity, empathy and compassion would become part of who we are but unfortunately not there are still vile, nasty, immature people who think it's funny to act in a way that, I would hope, their parents would be ashamed of.
It's easy on here to be behind a screen writing things that can be hurtful, I have had it on here and actually it's by some of the people who have commented on this post, ironic really!!1 -
This is a wonderful, eye opening, and sad thread @Avocado_AS5 ...I've seen the video and it hit home for me. I was badly beaten and bullied throughout my school years for various reasons. I was poor. I was short. I was fat. I was awkward. I was unpopular (some or all of which are still true)... right up until I left high school before graduating, I had to be escorted to the bus at the end of every school day, so I wouldn't bee attacked.
Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes, from all sources, overtly and deceivingly. From children, from bosses, from "friends", from strangers, as a child or as an adult. There is no rhyme or reason, under most circumstances, for why it happens. However, my theory is that the bully is missing something in their lives. Most likely an inability to deal with the negativity in their own lives, or a "learning by environment" from their parental type situation.
Regardless of why it happens, I think to suggest that it is the fault of technology, is at best, blame placing. The ability to reach millions at the press of a button does not instantly make one a bully or a bad person. That way of thinking is taught, through parents or same age peers. A kid doesn't shoot up a school because he played Grand Theft Auto, and a kid doesn't learn to beat someone up through a comic book..... teach your kids love and compassion, and the world will learn to stay that way.2 -
Again, this is a kid.
Who can't control his family situation or the actions of his mother. Anyone with eyes can see that the pain he felt in that video is real. I pray that all this attention and controversy surrounding him doesn't affect him even more.1 -
I was bullied my entire time of school because I was a fat kid until I got to college. So I understand how he is feeling or how any kid who is bullied from the time they get on the bus until the time they get home.Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Again, this is a kid.
Who can't control his family situation or the actions of his mother. Anyone with eyes can see that the pain he felt in that video is real. I pray that all this attention and controversy surrounding him doesn't affect him even more.
But if its true that he was using racist words, I can't defend his *kitten* whompin'
Also, it is extremely weird that his mother pulls out her phone (camera) to film it. I wouldn't do that to my kid.....I wouldn't want him to ever relive it by my hands.
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Thank you to those sharing their stories. I think we all know that bullying causes so much damage and the affects are painful even many years later.0
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