Bullies

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  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member
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    My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,200 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    As someone who has been repeatedly treated like crap behind the scenes by someone who is very good at looking like a victim in public, I just want to remind people that these things are not always as black and white as they seem.

    Having said that, I’ve been accused of being a bully myself. I know my sense of humor can be woefully misconstrued though, because I can’t actually hurt a fly. Well that’s a lie, I can kill those by the boatload.. but I did cry once when I saw a moth dying.

    I know this won’t be the popular opinion and you’ll just have to take my word for it that I’m not advocating that people be jerks, but it is good to remember that the internet is not a playground. The vast majority of us are adults. And I think most of us understand the old adage that ‘hurt people hurt people’. This is what I believe is the case for the person who was so ugly to me for months. That doesn’t excuse his behavior at all. But I know it’s complicated. Luckily I wear a helmet when I’m on the internet.

    And a full body oven mitt, but that’s a story for another day.

    I can appreciate the sentiment behind this post. I can also appreciate the sentiment behind the posts of the ‘bullies’ who believe they are sticking up for people they care about.

    Not everything is handled perfectly, especially when emotions flare.

    Very well said and I agree. I would have preferred seeing this in a Velfie though.

    As someone who helped me out through it all and was still kind to that person, I very much appreciate you.

    Aww I love you too. You have a good heart we all know it.

    It’s also true that when I posted a vague post in Jo’s original vague thread and it appeared I was going “punisher” mode on someone you people freaked out. Which was very funny.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,503 Member
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    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    I will also say, that this post is in no way referencing anything particular I've seen on here. I know things in that situation are not black and white and I don't take sides.

    It was actually about the video I posted and it hit a nerve in me. With things I've witnessed with my own kids. But yeah, adults can learn to be better too, even I can learn.

    Only love y'all.

    respext
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
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    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.


    I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.


    I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.

    Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.

    How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.

    I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves. :neutral:
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
    edited December 2017
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    We very rarely have the TV on in the morning while we're getting ready to head out, but we did today. My son (12) and I watched that video and I offhandedly said "kids can be little a-holes". My sweet, kind, awesome boy sadly said, "Mom, I figured that out a long time ago". :'(
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
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    Yep. My kid goes to a private Catholic school and he still gets *kitten*. It's a little better now in JH than it was in elementary, but that's mostly because he has more confidence and is probably bigger than most of the upper classmen at this point.
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    more_skal wrote: »
    Thank you for speaking up. This place is full of bullies.

    You know what....*kitten* you. Are you *kitten* kidding me? This kid is terrified to go eat at school. Nothing an adult can experience on a goddam online fitness community is on that level. Nothing. I was *kitten* abused at home and bullied at school by both kids and teachers. Motherfuck you and your feels at getting disagreed with over your goddam diet and exercise. Way to trivialize a legitimate, terrible issue.

    I don't think they were trying to trivialize the experiences of the child in the video. I don't think that your aggression towards @more_skal is warranted, especially in a thread about bullies.

    So by comparing the experience of being disagreed with in an online forum to the actual fear and distress of the kid in the video they're not equating the two? This poor kid can't click an x button. He doesn't have a choice. How are they even a TINY bit similar experiences?
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
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    And that's not to say that online bullying doesn't exist, and isn't in itself a valid issue that needs to be dealt with, but we're talking about the emotional and physical torment of a kid in comparison with the conversational experiences of an adult on a health and fitness forum.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Soul_Radiation wrote: »
    Unfortunately, the only way I know of to effectively deal with bullies is to beat them in a fight...even if it means hitting them in the back with a fire extinguisher.

    I saw a kid do this in high school to protect his friend from a bully...and, bully fell down stairs and was fine. I guess. Not that anybody including parents and teachers would have minded him really getting a broken rib for his level of *kitten* but he was fine.

    They were never troubled again.

    See this is a hard situation because I completely understand using force and I often think it's justified if a person has tried to use force against you, but I worry that someone would really get hurt, and then you're in a whole different kind of situation.

    This is one of the reasons I'm a fan of things like BJJ. My oldest (7) took BJJ for about a year and they had special classes every couple of months that were specific to bullying.

    My kiddo was at school and another kid was picking on him on the playground and tried to hit him...my kiddo got him in an arm bar and was able to incapacitate the other kid without hurting him and called for help.
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    edited December 2017
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    more_skal wrote: »
    Thank you for speaking up. This place is full of bullies.

    You know what....*kitten* you. Are you *kitten* kidding me? This kid is terrified to go eat at school. Nothing an adult can experience on a goddam online fitness community is on that level. Nothing. I was *kitten* abused at home and bullied at school by both kids and teachers. Motherfuck you and your feels at getting disagreed with over your goddam diet and exercise. Way to trivialize a legitimate, terrible issue.

    I don't think they were trying to trivialize the experiences of the child in the video. I don't think that your aggression towards @more_skal is warranted, especially in a thread about bullies.

    So by comparing the experience of being disagreed with in an online forum to the actual fear and distress of the kid in the video they're not equating the two? This poor kid can't click an x button. He doesn't have a choice. How are they even a TINY bit similar experiences?

    OP included this in her post:

    "We need to be better parents and just better people in general. Even on here. I'm honestly sick of seeing all the negative crap and internet bullying. It's bad enough when kids do it, but pretty sad and pathetic when grown ups still do it.

    Let's be kind y'all. Seriously. We have no clue what people are struggling with.    "

    She mentioned internet bullying so speaking about MFP's forums makes sense.

    Valid point. I honestly didn't see the "Even on here" part. That being the case, I apologize @more_skal . There was a generalized point in the op that they were commenting on, and it wasn't just about the video. I'm not going to edit or delete the original post as I'm sure the mods will blast it on their own. Again. Apologies as it was out of line.

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