Bullies
Replies
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I will also say, that this post is in no way referencing anything particular I've seen on here. I know things in that situation are not black and white and I don't take sides.
It was actually about the video I posted and it hit a nerve in me. With things I've witnessed with my own kids. But yeah, adults can learn to be better too, even I can learn.
Only love y'all.5 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »I will also say, that this post is in no way referencing anything particular I've seen on here. I know things in that situation are not black and white and I don't take sides.
It was actually about the video I posted and it hit a nerve in me. With things I've witnessed with my own kids. But yeah, adults can learn to be better too, even I can learn.
Only love y'all.
respext0 -
My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.0 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.5 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Right?
As a kid, I screwed up all the time. The difference is that it wasn't filmed and posted for the world to see.
I was recently asked: What's your biggest fear?
after some thought, I said: I don't exactly know, but becoming an internet meme would really suck.
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Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.
How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.
I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves.
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We very rarely have the TV on in the morning while we're getting ready to head out, but we did today. My son (12) and I watched that video and I offhandedly said "kids can be little a-holes". My sweet, kind, awesome boy sadly said, "Mom, I figured that out a long time ago".
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I know home schooling is a luxury most can't afford. But if it's doable, do it and if it requires a sacrifice, make it. There are even online options now, good for kids in middle school and beyond that are mostly self study courses.
I know this is controversial and may get some defensive responses, but I'd say, at the very least just say no to public school. Although I have no kids, if I did, I'd consider sending my kid to a low-cost tuition religious school that didn't align with my religious beliefs before I'd send the kid to a public school for even for a single day.
Honestly, I was bullied more when I was in private school than I was when my parents had to put me in public school. It was one of their big concerns too...but I was bullied a lot more at my private Christian school than I was anywhere else. It was small and I stood out because I had moved from Nebraska and was just a little different than the other kids...when I went to public school I basically disappeared into the masses.
Bulling can happen anywhere...5 -
I know home schooling is a luxury most can't afford. But if it's doable, do it and if it requires a sacrifice, make it. There are even online options now, good for kids in middle school and beyond that are mostly self study courses.
I know this is controversial and may get some defensive responses, but I'd say, at the very least just say no to public school. Although I have no kids, if I did, I'd consider sending my kid to a low-cost tuition religious school that didn't align with my religious beliefs before I'd send the kid to a public school for even for a single day.
Bullying is not a public school issue. It's a people issue. Bullying happens at work, church, sports, everywhere.7 -
Yep. My kid goes to a private Catholic school and he still gets *kitten*. It's a little better now in JH than it was in elementary, but that's mostly because he has more confidence and is probably bigger than most of the upper classmen at this point.0
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »TicoCortez wrote: »Thank you for speaking up. This place is full of bullies.
You know what....*kitten* you. Are you *kitten* kidding me? This kid is terrified to go eat at school. Nothing an adult can experience on a goddam online fitness community is on that level. Nothing. I was *kitten* abused at home and bullied at school by both kids and teachers. Motherfuck you and your feels at getting disagreed with over your goddam diet and exercise. Way to trivialize a legitimate, terrible issue.
I don't think they were trying to trivialize the experiences of the child in the video. I don't think that your aggression towards @more_skal is warranted, especially in a thread about bullies.
So by comparing the experience of being disagreed with in an online forum to the actual fear and distress of the kid in the video they're not equating the two? This poor kid can't click an x button. He doesn't have a choice. How are they even a TINY bit similar experiences?3 -
And that's not to say that online bullying doesn't exist, and isn't in itself a valid issue that needs to be dealt with, but we're talking about the emotional and physical torment of a kid in comparison with the conversational experiences of an adult on a health and fitness forum.1
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Soul_Radiation wrote: »Unfortunately, the only way I know of to effectively deal with bullies is to beat them in a fight...even if it means hitting them in the back with a fire extinguisher.
I saw a kid do this in high school to protect his friend from a bully...and, bully fell down stairs and was fine. I guess. Not that anybody including parents and teachers would have minded him really getting a broken rib for his level of *kitten* but he was fine.
They were never troubled again.
See this is a hard situation because I completely understand using force and I often think it's justified if a person has tried to use force against you, but I worry that someone would really get hurt, and then you're in a whole different kind of situation.
This is one of the reasons I'm a fan of things like BJJ. My oldest (7) took BJJ for about a year and they had special classes every couple of months that were specific to bullying.
My kiddo was at school and another kid was picking on him on the playground and tried to hit him...my kiddo got him in an arm bar and was able to incapacitate the other kid without hurting him and called for help.0 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »TicoCortez wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »TicoCortez wrote: »Thank you for speaking up. This place is full of bullies.
You know what....*kitten* you. Are you *kitten* kidding me? This kid is terrified to go eat at school. Nothing an adult can experience on a goddam online fitness community is on that level. Nothing. I was *kitten* abused at home and bullied at school by both kids and teachers. Motherfuck you and your feels at getting disagreed with over your goddam diet and exercise. Way to trivialize a legitimate, terrible issue.
I don't think they were trying to trivialize the experiences of the child in the video. I don't think that your aggression towards @more_skal is warranted, especially in a thread about bullies.
So by comparing the experience of being disagreed with in an online forum to the actual fear and distress of the kid in the video they're not equating the two? This poor kid can't click an x button. He doesn't have a choice. How are they even a TINY bit similar experiences?
OP included this in her post:
"We need to be better parents and just better people in general. Even on here. I'm honestly sick of seeing all the negative crap and internet bullying. It's bad enough when kids do it, but pretty sad and pathetic when grown ups still do it.
Let's be kind y'all. Seriously. We have no clue what people are struggling with."
She mentioned internet bullying so speaking about MFP's forums makes sense.
Valid point. I honestly didn't see the "Even on here" part. That being the case, I apologize @more_skal . There was a generalized point in the op that they were commenting on, and it wasn't just about the video. I'm not going to edit or delete the original post as I'm sure the mods will blast it on their own. Again. Apologies as it was out of line.3 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Soul_Radiation wrote: »Unfortunately, the only way I know of to effectively deal with bullies is to beat them in a fight...even if it means hitting them in the back with a fire extinguisher.
I saw a kid do this in high school to protect his friend from a bully...and, bully fell down stairs and was fine. I guess. Not that anybody including parents and teachers would have minded him really getting a broken rib for his level of *kitten* but he was fine.
They were never troubled again.
See this is a hard situation because I completely understand using force and I often think it's justified if a person has tried to use force against you, but I worry that someone would really get hurt, and then you're in a whole different kind of situation.
There is always a chance that someone falls backwards and hits their head and dies. Its very rare but it could happen. Then like you say, its then a different type of situation. I certainly am not a fan of hitting someone in the back and not near the stairs either.0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.
How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.
I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves.
She's about to turn 14. My 8 year old constantly asks for a Phone. My oldest just laughs and says good luck with that one lol0 -
Mel this is good. Keep everyone mindful that behind the words on the internet every profile pic is like, a real person8
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CanesGalactica wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.
How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.
I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves.
She's about to turn 14. My 8 year old constantly asks for a Phone. My oldest just laughs and says good luck with that one lol
Oh good, there's hope then. I hate knowing that I might be excluding him from things that his friends are participating in as he gets older because I really don't want to hand over a smartphone to him or don't want him to have all the Internet access other children might have. So we're in that process of trying to figure out what is and isn't appropriate.. and it's weird thinking about this and realizing that my parents didn't have to go through any of this with me. I was a teenager by the time we had access to the net, so I mostly self governed and stayed out of trouble (mostly).0 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Soul_Radiation wrote: »Unfortunately, the only way I know of to effectively deal with bullies is to beat them in a fight...even if it means hitting them in the back with a fire extinguisher.
I saw a kid do this in high school to protect his friend from a bully...and, bully fell down stairs and was fine. I guess. Not that anybody including parents and teachers would have minded him really getting a broken rib for his level of *kitten* but he was fine.
They were never troubled again.
See this is a hard situation because I completely understand using force and I often think it's justified if a person has tried to use force against you, but I worry that someone would really get hurt, and then you're in a whole different kind of situation.
There is always a chance that someone falls backwards and hits their head and dies. Its very rare but it could happen. Then like you say, its then a different type of situation. I certainly am not a fan of hitting someone in the back and not near the stairs either.
I knew of a guy who was 21 and he punched a drunk guy for harassing a group of girls. The drunk guy hit his head on the curb and died and he ended up being charged with manslaughter.
I'm not trying to say that this could happen every single time because of course it wouldn't, but it's something to think about.
That's partly why bullies are so hard to deal with. I feel for this kid. A solution is hard to find.
ETA: to whoever "woo"-ed this post, if you think that I made it up, I didn't.
That's exactly the situation I was thinking about-hitting the head on a pavement. I've seen something like that on crimewatch. In the situation you're describing it seems like the guy was too quick to resort to using his fists. Some people use these situations to vent their own grievances and unrelated anger.
Personally I think the only time to use force is in self defence and for me that generally is going to require more than verbal threats0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »My daughter was a victim of online bullying last year and the effects of that was devastating. As a parent we say things about other adults in front our kids and we forget our kids are listening and they sponge that negativity up thinking that's okay. It all starts at home, you're absolutely right. I really hope he is able to surpass this horrible experience and not let him be defined by it. And for those parents with bully kids, please do something about it.
I absolutely agree. Social Media is something we didn't have to deal with as kids and it's scary to think of how much influence and power it can have over adolescents. I can't even imagine growing up how my kids are now, where value is placed on likes and shares and comments. The world is changing, but bullies have always been around. It's just a lot easier to do it now.
Some might think I'm overly protective but I have decided to not give her access to any social media sites. She doesn't have a phone and the laptop that she has was given at school which is very well controlled as they've blocked many websites and turning off internet use automatically at 11 pm every night. That's as much access to the Internet she has now. Now her focus isn't on likes or comments but she has turned that focus into her education.
How old is she, if you don't mind my asking? My son is young (6) and I worry about this sort of thing for when he gets older. I'm undecided on how I feel about the Internet, social media, etc. I didn't have real access to it until I was 14 (and that was to play Neopets and check email) and no real access to talk to other people on chat services until I was 16. And that was the young(ish) days of the Net.
I hear and read stories about children (and adults) who were bullied so much or threatened so often through online means that they end up harming or killing themselves.
She's about to turn 14. My 8 year old constantly asks for a Phone. My oldest just laughs and says good luck with that one lol
Oh good, there's hope then. I hate knowing that I might be excluding him from things that his friends are participating in as he gets older because I really don't want to hand over a smartphone to him or don't want him to have all the Internet access other children might have. So we're in that process of trying to figure out what is and isn't appropriate.. and it's weird thinking about this and realizing that my parents didn't have to go through any of this with me. I was a teenager by the time we had access to the net, so I mostly self governed and stayed out of trouble (mostly).
Its a catch 22-you don't want them to have a phone to protect them but because all the other kids have one, they get singled out and possibly bullied for it. I don't see why any of these young kids need a smart phone can see potential benefits of having a phone but certainly not a smart phone.1
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