Describe your job poorly

deannalfisher

lstrat115 wrote: »

cougargirl1025 wrote: »

I make toys for fuzzy, killer animals and watch them play. Then I train them to let me give them shots and cut their nails.

Fuzzy killer animals are my favorite

cougargirl1025 wrote: »

I make toys for fuzzy, killer animals and watch them play. Then I train them to let me give them shots and cut their nails.

any tricks for getting a very skittish large fuzzy killer animal to cut her nails? (she was a rescue and basically has a meltdown when we do them)

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Jackibrazil

Telling people to go places and them saying no. Getting a headache then calling other people to tell them to go places and they say no some more. Someone says yes then they say no then they say yes.

liftorgohome

I do dangerous things for money. Unspeakable things.

DISCIPLINEEQUALSFREEDOM

I provide the enemy the opportunity to die for his country.

MonkeyMel21

I make guys take their shirts off and touch them till their scapula is perpendicular to the wall.

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mandipandi75

Scream at people all across the globe to do there freakin job

Just_Mel_

I play with dirty green paper all day. And supervise a group of bratty millennials who also play with dirty green paper. Sometimes we get holidays off.

corinasue1143

I sleep until noon. Get up, get dressed, go out to eat, shop, come home, take a nap, go out for dinner. Watch tv until bedtime.
Repeat daily.

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LittleHearseDriver

It's a tie between Necrotic Flesh Management or Zombie Apocalypse Prevention Specialist

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madelaine_xo

I glue hair on peoples eyes and make their skin brown

Mr_Healthy_Habits

I do my best to not *kitten* *kitten* up and ruin the environment

KosmosKitten

I get paid to color in the lines, not sniff glue/markers and sometimes play with glitter. I also wrestle yarn away from old ladies and cats (not at the same time).

CosmoSalt

Basically, I sit in a never ending (NEVER. ENDING.) staff meeting. My boss thinks he is Tony Robbins. I stay sane by chasing a personal best in my own little staff meeting olympics. When people nod off (1 pt) or slobber (2 pts) or the elusive nodding off while slobbering... a whopping 10 points!
Still waiting for someone to sleep, slobber and fall out of the chair; which would net me a cool 322 points.

klkarlen

I get to tell people what to do, after finding out from other people what they want done, and then I check to make sure it was done right, and if not, I get to tell them to do it again, but correctly.

xFunctionalStrengthx

My Full-time job, I get to punch keyboards while making important decisions on procedures and processes. I also get to delegate work to my underlings, who are employees for a company I do not work for.

My Part-time job, I would get to deal with @Mr_Healthy_Habits *kitten* up *kitten* and hope he doesn't have to see the back of @LittleHearseDriver 's vehicle.

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xFunctionalStrengthx

i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »

I get *kitten* at by women in labour poping babies out of their vaginas

Why not just tell them that had they of abstained they wouldn't have to be mean to you.

USAMcK

I am reminded every 600 seconds that people over the age of 50 don't know what a phone jack is.

Vikka_V

I help people do sometimes awful and always unwanted and unasked for things for good reasons.
I relay message to people that they don't want to hear. I buy stuff. I do the thankless and "dirty" work. I'm also the complaints department.

ColtRocker

I put bad guys in "time out"