What was your first “I’m getting fat” realization?
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »purpleannex wrote: »At about 3 or 4 years old and everyone saying that you're Fat, either directly or indirectly to my mother. This was the 70's when people told the truth. Basically as soon as I was able to comprehend "fat".
This is infuriating. At 3-4 years old, it's not like you're taking yourself to the supermarket and buying Cheetos for yourself.
No, but i was a tall child as well as fat so my mum fed me like my older shorter and slimmer siblings. Whilst it's true that I didn't buy the food or put the portions on my plate, I did eat everything that was put in front of me. As an adult I've observed so many skinny (normal) kids given what I would consider to be small portions and watch them take a few bites and leave the rest saying they're full.
I've never blamed anyone for my weight but myself.9 -
My clothes were too tight, my skin bad, my mood was low from being overweight & self conscious .... just a few from a big list! Now feeling positive & looking forward to my first weigh-in tomorrow
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grumpopuppo wrote: »grumpopuppo wrote: »Bullying when I was very, very young. Wasn't even overweight, didn't know what 'fatty' realistically meant. Turned into something of a prophecy as I turned to food for comfort.
But these days it's my chin (and whether or not there's two of them) and heart burn levels.
Yes!! I have to carry Tums around like I have some sort of weird addiction when I'm not eating right, and gaining weight. When I'm not overeating and I'm either losing or maintaining weight, I don't have that problem. Whoda thunk it?
Yeah, yeah! Get to a certain point on the scale and BAM on comes the heartburn. I hear the best guess as to why that is, is that the extra weight puts more pressure on the stomach and that in turn forces the acid up the eusophagus.
It does! I used to suffer quite a lot and it disappeared when I lost my excess flab. Sadly, for a number of not very good reasons, some weight has gone back on (far from all of it thank goodness) and I bent down to pick some stuff up in the garden and POW there it was back again! Did send me running back to mfp though - on my way down again now
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purpleannex wrote: »At about 3 or 4 years old and everyone saying that you're Fat, either directly or indirectly to my mother. This was the 70's when people told the truth. Basically as soon as I was able to comprehend "fat".
Similar for me. I've always been in the "high percentile" (remember that, kids?) which I thought was good because I also in the "high percentile" for being smart. It got clearer when Mom bought me 6X size clothes as a child, then husky size jeans as a teen (no plus sizes in the '70s). As an adult and near the year I was ready to lose weight, when I had to suck in my gut to fit in doorways.
Yes, I was too fat to fit through a door.
Yes, even sideways.21 -
evilpoptart63 wrote: »I completely agree and I wasnt trying to justify it because his comment helped me lose weight. He was emotionally abusive for years and I know it's not ok. We're both about to start marriage councelling as well as individual therapy and I know there is a good chance I will be leaving anyway
Long time lurker, first time poster. Anyways, I'm a trauma counsellor who works with women in abusive relationships and I just need to mention that couples or marriage counselling is contraindicated when there is abuse. Counselling requires all parties engage with honesty and vulnerability, both of which are unsafe for a woman being abused and unlikely to be achieved by someone who is abusive. Also, many counsellors are unfamiliar with the dynamics of abuse and can be recruited as an ally to the abuser to perpetuate the power and control dynamic. I just ask that you rethink the marriage counselling piece and consider sticking strictly with the one-on-one counselling, but ensure whoever you see is familiar with the dynamics of relationship abuse.
Sorry, I'm done and I don't mean to highjack the thread, I just really needed to mention this.50 -
evilpoptart63 wrote: »I completely agree and I wasnt trying to justify it because his comment helped me lose weight. He was emotionally abusive for years and I know it's not ok. We're both about to start marriage councelling as well as individual therapy and I know there is a good chance I will be leaving anyway
Long time lurker, first time poster. Anyways, I'm a trauma counsellor who works with women in abusive relationships and I just need to mention that couples or marriage counselling is contraindicated when there is abuse. Counselling requires all parties engage with honesty and vulnerability, both of which are unsafe for a woman being abused and unlikely to be achieved by someone who is abusive. Also, many counsellors are unfamiliar with the dynamics of abuse and can be recruited as an ally to the abuser to perpetuate the power and control dynamic. I just ask that you rethink the marriage counselling piece and consider sticking strictly with the one-on-one counselling, but ensure whoever you see is familiar with the dynamics of relationship abuse.
Sorry, I'm done and I don't mean to highjack the thread, I just really needed to mention this.
As someone who has been-there-done-that, I absolutely second this.
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evilpoptart63 wrote: »I completely agree and I wasnt trying to justify it because his comment helped me lose weight. He was emotionally abusive for years and I know it's not ok. We're both about to start marriage councelling as well as individual therapy and I know there is a good chance I will be leaving anyway
Long time lurker, first time poster. Anyways, I'm a trauma counsellor who works with women in abusive relationships and I just need to mention that couples or marriage counselling is contraindicated when there is abuse. Counselling requires all parties engage with honesty and vulnerability, both of which are unsafe for a woman being abused and unlikely to be achieved by someone who is abusive. Also, many counsellors are unfamiliar with the dynamics of abuse and can be recruited as an ally to the abuser to perpetuate the power and control dynamic. I just ask that you rethink the marriage counselling piece and consider sticking strictly with the one-on-one counselling, but ensure whoever you see is familiar with the dynamics of relationship abuse.
Sorry, I'm done and I don't mean to highjack the thread, I just really needed to mention this.
Thank you for sharing your insight. That didnt cross my mind but it makes sense! I also sent you a message. Sorry for derailing this post!! I'll butt out. Just wanted to say thank you18 -
always how my clothes fit! I can always tell immediately and try to "reign it in" at that point.2
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When my clothes felt uncomfortably tight.2
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Kangaroo pooch, mood swings, tighter jeans, and waking up without a flat tummy.4
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I felt like a stuffed sausage in my clothes!5
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At birth3
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I suspected I was getting fat about a month or two post-tobacco quit when I had to cut the fixed "elastic" in the waistband of my Class A greens skirt to be able to fit into it for a mandatory funeral attendance. The slacks still fit at the time because the waistband sat higher but there was no way in Hades I was going to wear polyester pants in El Paso, TX, in late summer. That was around 155 lbs.
I knew I was officially fat when I had to put on BDUs that winter, one last time, after 30+ days terminal leave for out-processing and felt (and looked) like a sausage stuffed in a casing two diameter sizes too small. It was embarrassing. I didn't button the pants because I physically couldn't and prayed my top was still long enough to cover the fact. That was somewhere in the 176-182 lbs. range.
Right on point with BMI charts for my height.
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My pants and shirts were getting too tight. When I had to go a size up in my shirt and two sizes in my pants I knew enough was enough.2
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I decided March of 2017 to be a stay at home mom. I have an 11 year old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I did this to spend more time with them and do things I couldn’t do while I was living life in a rush from working full time. I had plans of trips to parks, playing outside, daily walks for exercise, cooking healthy meals instead of fast food convenience because of busy schedule (which is how I got up to 198). Instead I felt like I “deserved” to take it easy for once because I had a very stressful job that left me in tears a lot of evenings. So these plans didn’t seem as appealing as sleeping in and just laying around snuggling with my baby all day. I mean who doesn’t love cuddles from babies?!
My daughter was 1 at the time and getting into everything. Some days there wasn’t even a minute to shower let alone make myself anything other than easy microwaveable food like chicken nuggets or put a frozen pizza in the oven so there was nothing to prepare bc I didn’t have time. My energy got so low that I would lay on the couch all day and my poor toddler brought her toys to ME to play. I was too lazy to even sit up so she would just climb on the couch with me and play with her toys on my belly...all day. She started eventually telling me to sit up and don’t lay down. Also she will randomly say “I love cheeseburgers and French fries” or ask for chicken nuggets and corn dogs when I now put baked chicken and veggies in front of her. My “holy realization” moment was all of that. I realized I’m not only doing this to myself but to my daughter too. My son eats healthy, always has. My husband will eat good for the most part too. I just feel like I’m doing not only myself but my daughter wrong. I think to myself all the time, what kind of mother was I turning into?
I grew up with my perfect body. I was a dancer for 16 years and was toned and lean. I never lost my baby weight from my first pregnancy at 24. I have been overweight since. I sometimes feel like a failure letting it go. I’m trying to turn things around for myself and my family.21 -
When I put on an old pair of dress pants that used to be comfortable but now felt like I had a wedgie.6
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I looked at pictures of t-shirts getting tighter and tighter on me...2
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ginyspills wrote: »For some reason these realizations give me more fuel to stick to eating healthy!
Mine was my mood. I realized I’ve been feeling constantly moody/insecure. Great marriage, work is fine, same amount of money stress. So what is the problem? Looking back at photos of me with the huge smile, I realized I have gained a crap ton of weight! How can I smile like that when my clothes hardly fit me? I refuse to buy new outfits in a bigger size! Determined to lose this weight
How about you?
No lie. It was the bedroom for me. I came to the realization that it was time to lose weight. I want to feel beautiful with my man. Not trying to find a blanket to hide under. Im 4 pounds lighter today. Since the 8th. Yay!10 -
The pants that I bought because they were a little loose were way too tight.5
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I always knew, I just wasn't feeling motivated to do anything about it. Until one day I got up on the scale and it edged at 99 kg. I told myself that enough is enough and I refuse to go to three- digit numbers.2
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