Help! Dates, eating out, non-trackable food!

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  • dnunny70
    dnunny70 Posts: 411 Member
    PoppyFlower1 wrote: »
    Is it a good idea to say I’m dieting so the guy knows I’m working on my weight? I feel really self conscious about my size at the mo. I met all of the dates online, so haven’t seen any in real life yet and I’m worried in case they think I’m huge. They have seen my pics and I’ve FaceTimed but still..... if I say I’m getting a salad as I’m trying to lose weight maybe that would give me plus points?

    I would not mention it. The guy I have a date with on Sunday knows I am working on healthy habits (exercising etc.).

    Relax and be you! Confidence goes a long way!
  • hroderick
    hroderick Posts: 756 Member
    save calories from other days and have a great time on the date
  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,111 Member
    If I’m going out I look up the menu online and plan my meal. It can still be logged using the closest data base match. Then I adjust the rest of the day (sometimes week) to accommodate the special meal.
  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
    PoppyFlower1 wrote: »
    Is it a bad idea to say I need to order a salad because I’m trying to diet?

    It's not bad per se -- but it all depends on how you want to come across. Do you want to always have to explain your food choices to your partner? Do you want to come across as that stereotypical girl who just eats salads? Do you want them to know you're dieting?

    Those are questions that only you can answer.

    I wouldn't say it, because I don't want to come across as a needy dieter who needs to tell everyone she's dieting, but that's me.
  • jessad215
    jessad215 Posts: 14 Member
    Seems like you have a ton of good advice here about how to make good food choices, but I just wanted to say that I met my forever guy while I was at my highest weight ever. He didn't care--he was smaller than me, but it never mattered. I made choices that felt good for me (which sometimes meant eating more carefully, other times it meant indulging) and didn't talk to him about it in any big way until there was a lot more emotional intimacy built up and I could share my hopes and insecurities and fears in a more real way. The right guy will be interested in who you show him right now. That doesn't mean eating junk to impress him, but it also doesn't mean trying to convince him you're worthy by being on a diet. If he's the right guy, he'll like you for you, diet or not!
  • FlyingMolly
    FlyingMolly Posts: 490 Member
    Three dinner dates in a week is three meals out of 21. I'm sure if you cut back a bit on some of the other 18, you can order something you'll enjoy and eat a satisfying portion of whatever-it-is.

    I also met my now-husband when I was heavier, and had had zero success losing the weight. He was really fit and wound up teaching me a lot about how to exercise more effectively and what healthy eating looked like, but that was after he'd already fallen in love with chubby-and-it-wasn't-going-anywhere me.

    You deserve someone who sees and likes the whole you, not the you that you want to be in two months or a year. You don't need to earn "points"; you need to meet someone compatible with your actual self. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to be liked that we forget to take a real, critical look at the person we're trying to be liked by, and that's almost always a mistake. Go on the dates, have fun, and decide if any of them is with a man you'd like to see again.
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
    Thanks. I went on date number 1 last night, and asked that we just get drinks instead (I’m going to the French restaurant tonight so planned to save my calories for today). This backfired spectacularly. I’m not good at holding alcohol so a few drinks in and I was drunk. I was sober enough to ensure my date drove me home but drunk enough to get in and order a pizza! :-(. So note to self: drinks are off the menu now lol.

    Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that posted, I appreciate it x
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Why eat out? Isn’t it to get to know the other person and enjoy the food, enjoy the company? Do that.

    I would find a date who is obsessing over the menu to be a big turnoff.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    ....and he called back and wanted a second date! You may have considered it a failure but he didn’t.
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
    edited January 2018
    :-)
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
    :-(. So note to self: drinks are off the menu now lol.

    Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that posted, I appreciate it x[/quote]

    You do realize that you'll get more calories out of 3 drinks than some steak and veggies, right?[/quote]

    Yeah, I initially planned two gin and low cal tonics but after the two my judgment went out of the window. I think I will be sticking to sparkling water from now on :p

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