How do you date in 2018?

sheltondq
sheltondq Posts: 51 Member
edited November 24 in Chit-Chat
I’m at a loss as to how to start dating again and 2018. It’s been a while since I’ve dated and I don’t understand how following someone on Snapchat or Instagram leads to a relationship.
It’s like people “talk to”, then sleep with, then date someone. How can you start dating someone if you’ve never truly sat down and talk to them and gotten to know them? I’m not someone who sleeps with someone that I barely know.
My Friends and I met a group of guys and one of the guys told me that it felt like I was interviewing him when I was just asking him questions about where he went to school and like his favorite thing to do and stuff like that just making conversation. But then later he messages me wanting to hook up which didn’t make any since.
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Replies

  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I just had my 37th anniversary so I am no help here but I am pretty sure it involves a phone app these days.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    How has no one made a "swipe right" joke about Tinder yet? :D
  • DJtobias13
    DJtobias13 Posts: 260 Member
    Where was this hook up first date later mentality when I was younger :D
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    I don't. I've given up.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Before my wife was my wife, she was a hookup at a party...then we started dating...been married going on 13 years and together going on 18.
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    If you figure it out, let me know. I don't have a clue.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    How do I date in 2018?

    I haven't even given it a thought. Far too busy to consider dating someone. I can't give them the time they deserve in a relationship at the moment. So, I just don't think about it.

    Hell, I don't think I even have time to make a FWB work at the moment...
  • dspjohn
    dspjohn Posts: 1 Member
    I think the issue with people that don’t know how to find dates is that they have a small social circle. Remember before social media or internet most people met randomly or they were introduced by a mutual friend. I personally never had an issue finding a person to date. The reason being is that I know so many people, i have a large group of tight knit friends most that I met in college. I say start making friend in person and drop the social media/dating apps. It’s going to sound horrible, but I feel everyone on dating apps are those who are too lazy or weird to meet people in person. They usually have *kitten* attitudes or are completely weird... also too many people can “front” online, make themselves someone who they really aren’t. I say go out there and meet people, if you’re antisocial then good luck finding someone
  • dwrightlaw
    dwrightlaw Posts: 804 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Resign yourself to the strong and distinct possibilities of herpes, HPV, lots of wasted time, increased feelings of loneliness and rejection, jealousy you never knew you had, anxiety about your appearance, false hope that is easily and constantly dashed, the frustration and constant misunderstandings that texting and emailing facilitate, and generally being more unhappy than before you decided to enter the 2018 dating world.

    Find or develop a hobby or two or three. Meet up with people in person who enjoy said hobbies. Have a good time. Have no expectations. See what happens. The worst thing that can happen is you'll make some new friends.

    ^^^
    This
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    edited February 2018
    Dating in 2018? We send dkpix and #*kitten*, then get laughed at to obscurity until we become reclusive hermits and follow thirst traps to send dkpix and #*kitten*.

    Answering for a friend.
  • IDK but if you figure it out let me know! So far, it's the worst. Everyone just wants to hook up. I don't mind the hooking up but I want it to be with one person... where we don't sleep around and can also be friends... so basically a relationship... lol... clearly I was born in the wrong era.
  • W8WarI
    W8WarI Posts: 567 Member
    edited February 2018
    sheltondq wrote: »
    I’m at a loss as to how to start dating again and 2018. It’s been a while since I’ve dated and I don’t understand how following someone on Snapchat or Instagram leads to a relationship.
    It’s like people “talk to”, then sleep with, then date someone. How can you start dating someone if you’ve never truly sat down and talk to them and gotten to know them? I’m not someone who sleeps with someone that I barely know.
    My Friends and I met a group of guys and one of the guys told me that it felt like I was interviewing him when I was just asking him questions about where he went to school and like his favorite thing to do and stuff like that just making conversation. But then later he messages me wanting to hook up which didn’t make any since.

    I don't date. Unless it's putting a label on leftovers. Women are interested in two things...how much money I make...and how much of my time they can occupy...ergo they are interested in me expressly for 2 of my 3 most important resources. Typically a woman wants to know how much money i make within 3 or 4 messages on any given dating platform. It's an interesting experiment. Sometimes I say $50,000 per year...sometimes $150,000 per year. Guess which answer typically receives heightened interest and further engagement. Sometimes even having a second account and talking to the same person simultaneously and giving her one of each. Guess which one she ghosts almost right away every time. Call me what you will for conducting these little social experiments but the truth is revealed in uncomfortable fashions.

    My advice. Don't date.

    How about just ceasing, all contact if/when they begin; questioning your income instead?
  • an0nemus
    an0nemus Posts: 149 Member
    There are 3 VERY important rules to dating:
    1) Don't be needy
    2) Be attractive
    3) Don't be not attractive

    Actually, I think as long as you got 2) you can ignore 1)....at least for a while.
  • anubis609 wrote: »
    Dating in 2018? We send dkpix and #*kitten*, then get laughed at to obscurity until we become reclusive hermits and follow thirst traps to send dkpix and #*kitten*.

    Answering for a friend.

    Still sending Dpix in 2018. Brah???? We all F-bois nowadays. Gotta phone you a Fboi. Doesn't matter if you did the deed or not. Guilty. No need to continue the thirst.
  • sheltondq
    sheltondq Posts: 51 Member
    IDK but if you figure it out let me know! So far, it's the worst. Everyone just wants to hook up. I don't mind the hooking up but I want it to be with one person... where we don't sleep around and can also be friends... so basically a relationship... lol... clearly I was born in the wrong era.

    This is exactly how I feel. I’d would do a FWB as long as as we’re not sleeping around lol.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    anubis609 wrote: »
    Dating in 2018? We send dkpix and #*kitten*, then get laughed at to obscurity until we become reclusive hermits and follow thirst traps to send dkpix and #*kitten*.

    Answering for a friend.

    Still sending Dpix in 2018. Brah???? We all F-bois nowadays. Gotta phone you a Fboi. Doesn't matter if you did the deed or not. Guilty. No need to continue the thirst.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sarcasm doesn’t translate well in text. Still happens tho apparently. Dudes out here eating detergent, fam. I don’t think acting right is on their priority list.
  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    Its hard
    I feel as I’ve gotten older dating has become more difficult
    Well ...not difficult ,just less quality men
    I feel like everyone wants to play around and not really get to know someone.

  • Unknown
    edited February 2018
    This content has been removed.
  • anubis609 wrote: »
    anubis609 wrote: »
    Dating in 2018? We send dkpix and #*kitten*, then get laughed at to obscurity until we become reclusive hermits and follow thirst traps to send dkpix and #*kitten*.

    Answering for a friend.

    Still sending Dpix in 2018. Brah???? We all F-bois nowadays. Gotta phone you a Fboi. Doesn't matter if you did the deed or not. Guilty. No need to continue the thirst.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sarcasm doesn’t translate well in text. Still happens tho apparently. Dudes out here eating detergent, fam. I don’t think acting right is on their priority list.

    Tide Pod 4 Lyfe.
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    edited February 2018
    Just_J_Now wrote: »
    elizarizo wrote: »
    Its hard
    I feel as I’ve gotten older dating has become more difficult
    Well ...not difficult ,just less quality men
    I feel like everyone wants to play around and not really get to know someone.

    Less quality women. Want to know where all the good men gave gone. Too many women looking to trade up the second they think a better option comes along. Men are tired of it. Tired of paying child support. Tired of losing half our assets when we get divorced. Tired of dying earlier. Tired of working longer hours only to be publicly flogged as "less quality" ...plenty of good men out here. Many are just opting out.

    I blame the slogan..."I won't settle." Which is fine for those with desirable traits, but don't expect 6'2" six pack and making 200k Prince charming to come along and date 100% of the single population. Here's a clue. Those men have the women they want. Those men represent less than 1% of the male population. So be very careful with how you define "quality men". Women were once very angry about having to live up to a "Barbie standard" (and rightfully so to be angry...thats unrealistic)...but we need to start having some realistic expectations and conversations about what makes a quality man.

    The end.

    Why you mad though? :joy:

    Not mad. People want to know what's on the mind of single men in 2018. That's it. Don't mean to sound harsh. It is what it is. Just being honest. Trust me...some men are very angry. But because their anger is misinterpreted as misogyny in a politically correct world their concerns are laughed at or dismissed...only further exacerbating the anger.

    I'm presenting one thought to OP topic on why it's hard to date in 2018. I think this qualifies as one of several legitimate explanations.

    Some men are just checking out.
  • W8WarI
    W8WarI Posts: 567 Member
    elizarizo wrote: »
    Its hard
    I feel as I’ve gotten older dating has become more difficult
    Well ...not difficult ,just less quality men
    I feel like everyone wants to play around and not really get to know someone.

    Less quality women. Want to know where all the good men gave gone. Too many women looking to trade up the second they think a better option comes along. Men are tired of it. Tired of paying child support. Tired of losing half our assets when we get divorced. Tired of dying earlier. Tired of working longer hours only to be publicly flogged as "less quality" ...plenty of good men out here. Many are just opting out.

    I blame the slogan..."I won't settle." Which is fine for those with desirable traits, but don't expect 6'2" six pack and making 200k Prince charming to come along and date 100% of the single population. Here's a clue. Those men have the women they want. Those men represent less than 1% of the male population. So be very careful with how you define "quality men". Women were once very angry about having to live up to a "Barbie standard" (and rightfully so to be angry...thats unrealistic)...but we need to start having some realistic expectations and conversations about what makes a quality man.

    The end.

    I agree & disagree, you're correct pertaining to the unfair expectations of women; as you mention! However even though I saw "The Red Pill", the main misrepresentation concerning men blaming women; for legal matters' that until women and/or men of color were permitted to even vote, most of these views/laws; were orchestrated by Caucasian men & you still dominate, the political landscape to change this as you always've; yet don't choose to but just complain/blame!
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    edited February 2018
    W8WarI wrote: »
    elizarizo wrote: »
    Its hard
    I feel as I’ve gotten older dating has become more difficult
    Well ...not difficult ,just less quality men
    I feel like everyone wants to play around and not really get to know someone.

    Less quality women. Want to know where all the good men gave gone. Too many women looking to trade up the second they think a better option comes along. Men are tired of it. Tired of paying child support. Tired of losing half our assets when we get divorced. Tired of dying earlier. Tired of working longer hours only to be publicly flogged as "less quality" ...plenty of good men out here. Many are just opting out.

    I blame the slogan..."I won't settle." Which is fine for those with desirable traits, but don't expect 6'2" six pack and making 200k Prince charming to come along and date 100% of the single population. Here's a clue. Those men have the women they want. Those men represent less than 1% of the male population. So be very careful with how you define "quality men". Women were once very angry about having to live up to a "Barbie standard" (and rightfully so to be angry...thats unrealistic)...but we need to start having some realistic expectations and conversations about what makes a quality man.

    The end.

    I agree & disagree, you're correct pertaining to the unfair expectations of women; as you mention! However even though I saw "The Red Pill", the main misrepresentation concerning men blaming women; for legal matters' that until women and/or men of color were permitted to even vote, most of these views/laws; were orchestrated by Caucasian men & you still dominate, the political landscape to change this as you always've; yet don't choose to but just complain/blame!

    Your expectations of Caucasian men seems awfully high.

    Historically, perhaps. But we are dissecting dating in 2018.

    And those Caucasian men who control the political landscape today. They don't have dating apps. You realize not all caucasian men are political power weilders? Demographics are changing year to year. And we all deal with that a it comes. But the Red Pill outlines some very true and stark problems men face, yet to most its classified as misogynistic Nazi right wing propaganda.

    I don't really want to delve into politics here. We can agree to disagree and be friendly. MFP has some strict policies about politics in the forums.

    I just want to reiterate I was giving one point of view that is representative of a lot of MEN...not just Caucasian men...as it pertains to dating these days.
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