Cringe Worthy Sayings
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huntersvonnegut wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »huntersvonnegut wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »
“I’m so so for your loss. I’m here for you.”
Sometimes it just feels like such a generic thing to say. The "they're in a better place" Has been reserved for people who I know went through a lot of pain and suffering before their death. I guess in my mind, I find comfort knowing they are no longer suffering. But yes "I'm sorry for your loss, and I am here if you need me" has become my go to for the most part anymore. I just hope the people I say it to know I really mean it.
I hope we can agree to disagree. In my experience, "they're in a better place" has also been used for people who died suddenly. Everyone is entitled to their personal belief about an afterlife. I'll give some wiggle room for a loved one who wasted away from cancer, etc. but my personal belief is that this life is it so someone telling me my father is in a better place means [expletive deleted] all to me. A sincere expression of sympathy and offer of a shoulder to cry on means so much more. To me.
I would agree with that. I guess it all depends on the person and the situation too. Still though, I just feel awkward all around. I had a cousin I'm not super close with just lose her father due to a sudden heart attack recently. I didn't know whether to call her right away, shoot her a text or go over to her house with a food basket. I went with an " I'm here for you and I am so sorry" text. Because if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want my phone and house blowing up while I'm trying to processes what just happened. Looking back on it, though I'm not sure that was the right move either. But I most certainly wouldn't have told her he was in a better place. Most of the time it was a younger me that was guilty of saying that sort of thing. Usually it was from watching a loved one waste away of cancer and other terminal diseases, but not always. The older I get however, the more insensitive it sounds. I hope I don't sound argumentative, because that's not my intent. My original comment was just pointing out, I was at one point ignorantly guilty of saying that sort of thing. At the time I thought I was being helpful. I had no idea it sounded to insensitive until I think my mom pointed it out during a casual conversation one day. This thread just reaffirmed my reasoning not to say it anymore. ...So, um agree to agree?
Sorry if I've offended anyone here. Again not my intent. 3 -
Whatever!3
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_barefoot_ wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
So inappropriate. When my cousin died in a car accident, one of my aunt's (not her mother) made comments that she hoped she had accepted Jesus into her heart so she could go to heaven. Really????
You have to understand that that is what christians say .
Yeah, but at the funeral of someone named Cohen? Yeah, I know. "Whatever"
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Crafty_camper123 wrote: »huntersvonnegut wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »huntersvonnegut wrote: »Crafty_camper123 wrote: »
“I’m so so for your loss. I’m here for you.”
Sometimes it just feels like such a generic thing to say. The "they're in a better place" Has been reserved for people who I know went through a lot of pain and suffering before their death. I guess in my mind, I find comfort knowing they are no longer suffering. But yes "I'm sorry for your loss, and I am here if you need me" has become my go to for the most part anymore. I just hope the people I say it to know I really mean it.
I hope we can agree to disagree. In my experience, "they're in a better place" has also been used for people who died suddenly. Everyone is entitled to their personal belief about an afterlife. I'll give some wiggle room for a loved one who wasted away from cancer, etc. but my personal belief is that this life is it so someone telling me my father is in a better place means [expletive deleted] all to me. A sincere expression of sympathy and offer of a shoulder to cry on means so much more. To me.
I would agree with that. I guess it all depends on the person and the situation too. Still though, I just feel awkward all around. I had a cousin I'm not super close with just lose her father due to a sudden heart attack recently. I didn't know whether to call her right away, shoot her a text or go over to her house with a food basket. I went with an " I'm here for you and I am so sorry" text. Because if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want my phone and house blowing up while I'm trying to processes what just happened. Looking back on it, though I'm not sure that was the right move either. But I most certainly wouldn't have told her he was in a better place. Most of the time it was a younger me that was guilty of saying that sort of thing. Usually it was from watching a loved one waste away of cancer and other terminal diseases, but not always. The older I get however, the more insensitive it sounds. I hope I don't sound argumentative, because that's not my intent. My original comment was just pointing out, I was at one point ignorantly guilty of saying that sort of thing. At the time I thought I was being helpful. I had no idea it sounded to insensitive until I think my mom pointed it out during a casual conversation one day. This thread just reaffirmed my reasoning not to say it anymore. ...So, um agree to agree? Sorry if I've offended anyone here. Again not my intent.
No offense taken here!1 -
The word ginormous.
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Anything tagged with #firstworldproblems4
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SabotageinStilettos wrote: »K.
yes! I loathe "K". Could you possibly be more dismissive?
Yes. When it’s lowercase with no punctuation
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Word.2
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_barefoot_ wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
So inappropriate. When my cousin died in a car accident, one of my aunt's (not her mother) made comments that she hoped she had accepted Jesus into her heart so she could go to heaven. Really????
You have to understand that that is what christians say .
So then if she didn't, she's burning in hell? I understand that's what Christians say, but that doesn't make it appropriate.
Should she of said that no ...
Go easy guys...Some people just try to find the right thing to say--even if they miss the mark! I'm a Christian, I do pray for those that are having a hard time or going through grieve. I just try to find encouraging words-- and if the person asks me for spiritual guidance then I will tell them, there is a Higher Power etc...0 -
tramaine_21 wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
So inappropriate. When my cousin died in a car accident, one of my aunt's (not her mother) made comments that she hoped she had accepted Jesus into her heart so she could go to heaven. Really????
You have to understand that that is what christians say .
So then if she didn't, she's burning in hell? I understand that's what Christians say, but that doesn't make it appropriate.
Should she of said that no ...
Go easy guys...Some people just try to find the right thing to say--even if they miss the mark! I'm a Christian, I do pray for those that are having a hard time or going through grieve. I just try to find encouraging words-- and if the person asks me for spiritual guidance then I will tell them, there is a Higher Power etc...
That's fine if they ask....
If they don't it's really just kind of rude.
I wouldn't tell a grieving Christian, "they may not be in a better place but at least they have lost all form of consciousness and cantf feel a damn thing anymore".
I don't need to hear your religious ideology nor do you need to hear my lack of it. Just be human and show compassion for a loss of a loved one.12 -
Re5pext.2
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"I'll be careful"1
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quoting Monty Python movies....1
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RunHardBeStrong wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
I heard this at least a hundred times when my daughter died. No he didn't need her more than we did. I also heard at least you can have more. You don't know that for sure and even I do have more, they will never replace the one lost.
Everything about this is horrible.
People never know what to say when tragedy strikes and I think more often than not just showing your support is worth more than stupid platitudes.
Agreed. I understand that people get uncomfortable and awkward during times of grief, especially a child and sometimes just blurt stuff out.
I make it a point every year on her death anniversary date to remind people that when someone is grieving from a tremendous loss that less really is more. Let them know you sympathize and you will be there if they need you. No need for "extra" comforting words that may not necessarily be a comfort to them.
It will be 19 years in April and some of the things people said to me still haunt me. I can usually let things go but there's a few things in this circumstance that I just can't, despite my efforts to try.
Because I have such a dark sense of humor: my oldest son lived only 3 weeks. He would be 24 this year. My 5 yr old niece at the time said the best thing to me: Aunt Sue, you’ll have to keep the next one alive. She said it so matter of factly & so practically that I had to laugh 6 -
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"White trash *kitten* pour"
Love/Hate
*kitten rhymes with 'pour'0 -
Not a phrase, but when people use "ur" instead of your or you're.
Come on people, we have the luxury of full keyboards now.4 -
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#alwaysfriendzoned
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empresssue wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
I heard this at least a hundred times when my daughter died. No he didn't need her more than we did. I also heard at least you can have more. You don't know that for sure and even I do have more, they will never replace the one lost.
Everything about this is horrible.
People never know what to say when tragedy strikes and I think more often than not just showing your support is worth more than stupid platitudes.
Agreed. I understand that people get uncomfortable and awkward during times of grief, especially a child and sometimes just blurt stuff out.
I make it a point every year on her death anniversary date to remind people that when someone is grieving from a tremendous loss that less really is more. Let them know you sympathize and you will be there if they need you. No need for "extra" comforting words that may not necessarily be a comfort to them.
It will be 19 years in April and some of the things people said to me still haunt me. I can usually let things go but there's a few things in this circumstance that I just can't, despite my efforts to try.
Because I have such a dark sense of humor: my oldest son lived only 3 weeks. He would be 24 this year. My 5 yr old niece at the time said the best thing to me: Aunt Sue, you’ll have to keep the next one alive. She said it so matter of factly & so practically that I had to laugh
Ok, that's funny. Kids are so honest and tactless at the same time.1 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »empresssue wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »A number of years ago a relative and her husband lost their child only a couple weeks after his birth and one of the biggest aholes I've ever met (family 'friend') told her "It just wasn't meant to be. God needed him more."
I heard this at least a hundred times when my daughter died. No he didn't need her more than we did. I also heard at least you can have more. You don't know that for sure and even I do have more, they will never replace the one lost.
Everything about this is horrible.
People never know what to say when tragedy strikes and I think more often than not just showing your support is worth more than stupid platitudes.
Agreed. I understand that people get uncomfortable and awkward during times of grief, especially a child and sometimes just blurt stuff out.
I make it a point every year on her death anniversary date to remind people that when someone is grieving from a tremendous loss that less really is more. Let them know you sympathize and you will be there if they need you. No need for "extra" comforting words that may not necessarily be a comfort to them.
It will be 19 years in April and some of the things people said to me still haunt me. I can usually let things go but there's a few things in this circumstance that I just can't, despite my efforts to try.
Because I have such a dark sense of humor: my oldest son lived only 3 weeks. He would be 24 this year. My 5 yr old niece at the time said the best thing to me: Aunt Sue, you’ll have to keep the next one alive. She said it so matter of factly & so practically that I had to laugh
Ok, that's funny. Kids are so honest and tactless at the same time.
It was just what I needed. She grabbed onto & held my hand right after she said it.4 -
"I'm Marie and I lost 50 pounds on Nutrisystem."
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_barefoot_ wrote: »" To Be Honest " so dose this mean you weren't honest before ?
I heard once that when someone says that, they are actually lying2
This discussion has been closed.
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