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What do I do?
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Let us know what happens and let management know of the big mouthed front desk giving your info.
If I was your Mom...I would love to go with you and take care of this Nut!1 -
Change your times every day so you are not predictable. Get some pepper spray or a key chain siren. Park in a well lit area close to building and do not go wondering around outside w/o scoping the parking lot!
Do not look for this fool in the gym just be in your own world working out and walk past him if needed with no eye contact!2 -
Alright. I’m going to try to tell him to leave me alone. So thank you all for your advice on this matter. I really appreciate it!
I read through this whole thread, and really glad you’ve decided on this! He sounds like a total creep. If he gives you any more trouble after telling him blatantly to leave you alone, definitely go to the gym management (and maybe even do this no matter the outcome - management should be aware they have such a creepy patron making other patrons so uncomfortable).
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Change your times every day so you are not predictable. Get some pepper spray or a key chain siren. Park in a well lit area close to building and do not go wondering around outside w/o scoping the parking lot!
Do not look for this fool in the gym just be in your own world working out and walk past him if needed with no eye contact!
Yeah, I already do kinda go at different times. But most of the time I'm there at 4ish, whether it be I just started, leaving, or mid-workout. I actually walk to the gym, it's right behind where I live. So I have to walk behind the building to get to the entrance so I'm already aware of my surroundings, even when I don't feel creeped out by a person lol. And I do walk by him and make try to make no contact, I'll try to look busy or while I'm walking past the area he is in, act like I'm in the middle of something, but he will come up and say something most of the time. The gym I go to is closed on the weekends, so tomorrow I'm going to attempt to tell him what people have stated above. Nervous already
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craygslyst1 wrote: »I hope I’m not too late into this topic.
Nah, you good. Still overthinking this matter so
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I have read all the comments and I could not feel stronger about how I would handle this situation. NEVER walk alone again to or from this gym- for the remaining time you are there. It is not fair but, I wouldn't return to the gym. His words and actions are that of someone dangerous and predatory.-- Not the inappropriate comments but, the implied threat of how he doesn't respond well to rejection. Being a strong and right woman is one thing, having someone hurt you or worse can change your life forever regardless of ANY reaction/response that you give him.2
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gearfreegains wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »He’s grooming you.
I shared office space with a guy like this. You described him to a T. I always struggled with him not getting my hints because I HATE to be mean. He was using that to his advantage.
Establish boundaries. Don’t change gyms. Don’t try to educate him on what’s acceptable and what isn’t at this point. Just tell him the next time you see him, firmly and looking squarely in the eye, that he has crossed the line with you and not to speak with you. Don’t be mad. Just be clear. If he begs for explanations or gets pitiful or tries to diminish how he makes you feel like you’ve arrogantly misinterpreted his intentions, put your hand up and say “We are not friends. We are acquaintances. Leave me alone.” He will probably act like a kicked dog. That isn’t your fault. It is not your responsibility to avoid hurting his feelings.
I’m telling you, you must be clear without giving him too much explanation. End this awkward nightmare, this is the only way to start unfortunately. You can’t nice your way out of this thing. Nobody else can do it for you. Trust me
Good luck.
This. This here answer from caco_ethes. Switching gyms might not help seeing as to how he already followed you to a different one.
Do you happen to have some big brothers (by big I don’t mean older I mean hulk sized dudes) you can ask to talk to this stalker?
I haven't switched gyms. Not sure where you read that lol. But it's the same gym for the past 2-3ish months now.
And no, I only have one brother (he isn't that big either lol) and he is at college and my dad is traveling for work until May.0 -
He wasn’t there today. So tomorrow I will try again. Maybe he has an account on here and read it. That would make this so much easier.2
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kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
No-wasn’t entirely prepared to talk to them yet. I wasn’t even fully prepared to tell the guy. So, I’m still working up the courage to tell. Sorry, I’m trying.
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kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
No-wasn’t entirely prepared to talk to them yet. I wasn’t even fully prepared to tell the guy. So, I’m still working up the courage to tell. Sorry, I’m trying.
Don’t apologize I was simply asking because I was thinking maybe they said something to him and that’s why he hasn’t been there.0 -
kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
No-wasn’t entirely prepared to talk to them yet. I wasn’t even fully prepared to tell the guy. So, I’m still working up the courage to tell. Sorry, I’m trying.
Don’t apologize I was simply asking because I was thinking maybe they said something to him and that’s why he hasn’t been there.
Ohh...my bad. No, the gym is closed on weekends so he would have no clue. Element of surprise for him lol.
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Kick him in the junk repeatedly while yelling stranger danger5
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*waits impatiently for any update*0
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Oh...my bad. So he was there on Tuesday and I told him that he made me feel uncomfortable and that the comments he made were inappropriate and that he needed to leave me alone. I didn’t apologize once (was proud of that, though I did stutter a little.) His response..um..not the greatest. He was visibly ticked at what I had to say. He just walked away and did his workout. He kept staring (more of glaring imo) at me while I finished the rest of my workout, which I actually ended up cutting short due to feeling super uncomfortable.( had a little breakdown in the locker room. ) He hasn’t spoken to me and he’s been there when I am but he just watches. Idk if it’s just me overthinking things but when I move to a different machine he moves to another one also, and it so happens to have a clear view of where I’m at. Idk, I just have to do this for 6 days.
I’ve realized...I need a venting buddy..lol >.<3 -
I spoke to the one of the staff members, who it turns out was the one who told him when I was there, and she had no idea that anything was wrong. She thought that he was a family member. She apologized profusely and seemed genuine. She said that she would let her manager know to watch him. She no longer tells him where I am (though it’s only been 2 days). So I feel really confident with how things went between her and I but not with HIM and I. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3
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Oh...my bad. So he was there on Tuesday and I told him that he made me feel uncomfortable and that the comments he made were inappropriate and that he needed to leave me alone. I didn’t apologize once (was proud of that, though I did stutter a little.) His response..um..not the greatest. He was visibly ticked at what I had to say. He just walked away and did his workout. He kept staring (more of glaring imo) at me while I finished the rest of my workout, which I actually ended up cutting short due to feeling super uncomfortable.( had a little breakdown in the locker room. ) He hasn’t spoken to me and he’s been there when I am but he just watches. Idk if it’s just me overthinking things but when I move to a different machine he moves to another one also, and it so happens to have a clear view of where I’m at. Idk, I just have to do this for 6 days.
I’ve realized...I need a venting buddy..lol >.<
Get yourself some protection for those 6 days. Just you describing this is creeping me out.
I'm glad things went well with the staff member tho!
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Yeah...I’m trying to go at a different time but my schedule really isn’t having it. Rme0
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^^Very stalkerish and creepy. He is not going to stop behaving this way with you, its time to something and being rude is the last thing you need to worry about. It's most definitely past time to say something to the desk clerk and get the manager involved too about them giving out your gym time to anyone, I am quite disturbed by this part of your story just as much as the creepy man.
this
and if it persists, I strongly recommend you report him to your local police dept. Keep a log of the interactions, comments, behavior for the file.
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