Ever Had A Stranger Insult Your Weightloss Success? (A bit of a rant)

tirowow12385

Candyspun wrote: »

drbeanie2000 wrote: »

I find it annoying when ANYONE who is a total stranger comments on anything that anyone else does! My husband bought some steak one time - the woman behind us said "all that red meat is going to KILL YOU, you know." WTF? One time I was behind a quite-pregnant woman in line at the grocery store and the *cashier* was the one giving her *kitten*. "Where's your husband? Wait WHAT? You're driving?! OMG you're doing it wrong and I can't believe you're so irresponsible and why don't you care about your baby?"

I seriously don't understand what people think gives them the right to comment on anything about a complete stranger.

Friends, family - that could be annoying but it seems different.

This. SO this. I've made it a rule of thumb not to make comments to people that are none of my business about their lives.

An example: someone prominent in our small town (and I used to see and talk to her often) lost a lot of weight, and the difference made her look like a whole new person. I was unsure of what to say: if she'd lost the weight deliberately, I wanted to congratulate her. But, also, it's been my experience that sometimes people drop a lot of weight because they've been sick, and I thought, if she has a serious illness, it could be really hurtful to say she looks great. I thought, I could ask her if she was trying to lose weight, but then realised it was none of my business to ask such a personal question. I thought, I could mention, 'you've lost a lot of weight', see what she says, and if I found out it was deliberate, then I could congratulate her. But then I realised, who the hell am I to comment on her weight? That's none of my business to comment on someone's appearance, and I'm sure she was well aware that she had lost weight.

I ended up seeing her on my walks. I STILL refused to ask her about her weight, or comment on it. But I did say hello and it's a lovely day to be walking.

An acquaintance who doesn't like this woman very much brought up her weight to me. In a cranky tone, she stated, 'and I'm sorry, but I think she looked better before!' So I told her it was not her body or her choice.

I've since found out this woman who lost all the weight has cancer. I don't know if the cancer caused the weight loss, or whether she intentionally lost weight before she found out, but you know what? None of that is ANY of my business, and I'm SO glad I never took it upon myself to say anything, despite my wanting to congratulate her if it was intentional. My need to give her positive feedback was not the most important thing.

We need to tread carefully. OP, one day, that guy is really going to put his foot in it and learn his lesson.

You're very thoughtful, we need more people who are thoughtful these days.

drbeanie2000

I think a pointed "How nice of you to say so!!!!!" in response to the "You look unhealthy" could work, given that "f*** you" wouldn't be that helpful.

I had this uncle who I'd see every Christmas. One year (actually, several years), he'd look at me and say "You look GREAT! You were kinda chunky last time." One year, I said "How nice of you to say so." And even though he's pretty clueless in general, there was a bit of a fleeting ray of light of understanding in his eyes....

sonarbabe wrote: »

Seems like a silly question, doesn't it? Unfortunately, I had the distinct displeasure of experiencing this for the first time. I'm a part-time cashier and one of my regulars came in today and decided it would be "okay" to spew some of the most insulting and hurtful verbal diarrhea I've ever heard. (Trust me. Being 60-75 lbs overweight most of my life, I've heard ALOT) The following is a pretty close account of what happened.

Him: Hey, girl. You've lost a lot of weight lately, huh?
Me: *starting to nod*
Him: You don't look good. Not at all. You're looking anorexic. How much have you lost?
Me: *shocked* Uh, 65 pounds...
Him: WHAT?! 65?? That's too much. You look unhealthy.
Me: *pissed* Um... Good morning?

I would love to say I'm exaggerating what he said, but I'm not. What gives this man the right to judge me? I don't know him and he certainly doesn't know me. If he did, he would know I've been made fun of my whole life for my weight. If he knew me, he would know that my self-esteem is shot or that I can't make myself believe loose skin isn't just fat.

Above all, if he knew me, then he would know I've worked my butt off for the last year to get to where I am. Or that my husband looks at me today the exact same way he did when we were teenagers.

But he doesn't know me and while I'm hurt and angry by his words, I used this negativity he dropped on me to push myself at the gym. My second trip after knee surgery, I walked 3 miles and it felt amazing! So, dear rude customer, you can take your unwanted--and unwarranted--comments and shove it.

Jimb376mfp

I have seen rude comments on line and I’m always amazed of how some people say IRL! Sorry for rude people!