Ever Had A Stranger Insult Your Weightloss Success? (A bit of a rant)
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I cut to very low body fat levels just once a year (5-7%), the Wife calls me 'Skeletor' or 'The Scream mask' because I lose the fat from my face, I've also had people ask her if I'm ill1
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Don’t care what ppl think it’s what you think that counts ppl will try bring you down cause they wish they could do what you are doing and wish they had that drive and will power it’s as simple as that keep smashing it n that goes to everyone here who’s here to change for the better1
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Hold your head up. People say dumb things. I’ve lost 70 lbs since my highest weight. I have had a lot of encouragement and also a lot of idiotic comments like you have described. At the end of the day it’s about you and your journey. You will gain and lose lots of Weight throughout your lifetime. I maintain the person in your story will probably always be an idiot. My standard reply is “I’m healthy, I feel amazing, and I really do not care how you think I look”. Don’t let him get you down. If you lose too much people judge and if you gain too much people judge. Just do you and don’t worry about the rest of it. You will drive yourself mad if you try.9
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It's possible he's jealous (no idea if he's overweight or not). Also, when people are used to seeing someone at a heavier weight and they lose a significant amount, it may appear that they are "too skinny." He was very rude, however, and if he were truly concerned for your health, he could have been more diplomatic.
Kudos on your weight loss!!!2 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Gotta love it when someone "woos" everything but they have nothing helpful to add.
To be fair, for the first week I was on forums I thought woo was like "wooo/hooray/yay"
Uh oh... I did not realize it was a bad thing either. Ooops. Hope whoever I mistakenly did that to doesn't think I was being a b***h.6 -
I thought it meant woo as in woohoo. I hope I haven't appeared condescending. I don't think I pressed it many times, now I feel bad4
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cizzawizza wrote: »I thought it meant woo as in woohoo. I hope I haven't appeared condescending. I don't think I pressed it many times, now I feel bad
I wouldn't worry about it. The button is so vague that no one really pays attention to the "woo's" anymore.
It's too bad as it should be a good way to flag bad information, but it's lost its purpose.5 -
This is why we have curse words in the vocabulary. Same as car horns these are excellent in communicating corrections to ill mannered behavior.
A well placed "*kitten* You" is a marvelous corrective measure. Use it liberally and you'll feel much better.4 -
I’m sorry you experienced that. People say what they like about your body without thinking. I’ve had more comments on my body now after losing 103lbs than when I’ve been overweight my whole life. My cheek bones have just been uncovered and my face can appear a bit drawn when tired, but I’ve still got lower body fat to lose. One guy I hadn’t seen for a while said, you’ve changed, have you got cancer? In a very matter of fact way (not caring concern) and he’s a doctor colleague. When I said not that I know if he said cool, cross fit?!!! Some people!6
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I cannot imagine working in retail and having to bite my tongue when people make personal remarks like that. I wouldn’t last long in that job, LOL!3
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I would say to him, when has it ever been acceptable to say anything rude to a complete stranger? You have no right to tell me anything or give your opinion. You do not know me or my struggles. Have a nice day.
It is never ok to bully even if you are an adult. I have been where you are and bullied my whole life. I am sorry he was a jerk but for every jerk that there is, there is an abundance of supportive people.3 -
yep I've had the EXACT same thing to me on multiple occasions. It gets to mentally2
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I’m sorry you experienced that. People say what they like about your body without thinking. I’ve had more comments on my body now after losing 103lbs than when I’ve been overweight my whole life. My cheek bones have just been uncovered and my face can appear a bit drawn when tired, but I’ve still got lower body fat to lose. One guy I hadn’t seen for a while said, you’ve changed, have you got cancer? In a very matter of fact way (not caring concern) and he’s a doctor colleague. When I said not that I know if he said cool, cross fit?!!! Some people!
People are jerks.
My face wasn't all that different when I was heavier, only at like 280+ lb did I have a double chin, for example, and I've had a lot of people say "Oh you always had a skinny face for your body so I didn't know you lost sooooo much weight". Who says that to someone!? Apparently a lot of people think it's a perfectly normal and decent thing to say to their former classmate or coworker when they run into them in a store or something. Ugh!
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I do not miss working at a grocery store. Did for a few years and it made me realize just how crappy people are. Also hated how I had to bite my tongue so much or risk getting fired.1
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seltzermint555 wrote: »Ugh. Screw people like that guy. Seriously. I bet for every jerk like that, there are at least 20 other people noticing your awesome progress & thinking "she looks great" but who are just too polite to mention they noticed!
I am really sorry that he hurt your feelings.
I've had stuff like that too...mostly from people I know, though, not from strangers. I work in an office where I really don't come across a lot of people on that type of frequency. Either they're my coworkers for years or a person I see once, and never again.
Mostly though, to be honest I've always hated the comments from people who say "KEEP IT UP" because I feel like they're judging me. I'm sure it's my own insecurity. I'm really happy maintaining as a size 10 but when people say "Girl you look great - keep it up!" I don't take it as "You've made great progress from 130 lb ago" or "You look good", instead I take it like "You're almost normal, but you need to lose way more, so don't stop now".
We all have our things!
I'm sorry that the "keep it up" is annoying - sure, they're judging you, but also they're cheering you on! Maybe they realize the work you've put in.
My take.3 -
I lost 100lbs in highschool, and a kid I had never met before called me fatty... I had already lost 75lbs at that point, that one hurt a lot.9
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I find it annoying when ANYONE who is a total stranger comments on anything that anyone else does! My husband bought some steak one time - the woman behind us said "all that red meat is going to KILL YOU, you know." WTF? One time I was behind a quite-pregnant woman in line at the grocery store and the *cashier* was the one giving her *kitten*. "Where's your husband? Wait WHAT? You're driving?! OMG you're doing it wrong and I can't believe you're so irresponsible and why don't you care about your baby?"
I seriously don't understand what people think gives them the right to comment on anything about a complete stranger.
Friends, family - that could be annoying but it seems different.3 -
I'm guessing there are plenty of people who have been silently inspired by your progress.
As for that guy, I'd just give him a quizzical look or say, "Good thing it's my body, not yours, isn't it? I sure feel great! Have a nice day."2 -
I find turning the subject to them quite powerful "Thanks for noticing all my hard work. I feel great! So, how's your health? I've really been worried about you."4
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drbeanie2000 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »Ugh. Screw people like that guy. Seriously. I bet for every jerk like that, there are at least 20 other people noticing your awesome progress & thinking "she looks great" but who are just too polite to mention they noticed!
I am really sorry that he hurt your feelings.
I've had stuff like that too...mostly from people I know, though, not from strangers. I work in an office where I really don't come across a lot of people on that type of frequency. Either they're my coworkers for years or a person I see once, and never again.
Mostly though, to be honest I've always hated the comments from people who say "KEEP IT UP" because I feel like they're judging me. I'm sure it's my own insecurity. I'm really happy maintaining as a size 10 but when people say "Girl you look great - keep it up!" I don't take it as "You've made great progress from 130 lb ago" or "You look good", instead I take it like "You're almost normal, but you need to lose way more, so don't stop now".
We all have our things!
I'm sorry that the "keep it up" is annoying - sure, they're judging you, but also they're cheering you on! Maybe they realize the work you've put in.
My take.
I don’t think most people that say “keep it up” mean it in a negative way at all.
I’ve said it to people myself.
It means:
Keep it up—living healthy—exercising—eating well—taking care of yourself. All positive things, and “keep it up” is said in a supportive way. At least by me.7
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