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My best friend is on another fad diet. I give up.
Replies
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Let it go. She doesn't want the help.
I had someone ask me today about my weight loss--what was I doing, was I working out, portion control? After I said calorie counting on MFP , they said "that makes sense" and then went on to talk about someone else who lost weight and what they did. Right then, I decided I will just save my breath next time, they don't really want to know.5 -
I have a high school friend, and, over the years, I have watched him and his wife skip from a vegetarian to a keto diet to Whole 30, etc., etc. and listened to him brag about losing weight for a time, followed by a period of silence, followed by the joyful announcement of how great his new diet is working for him and his wife. When I told him how I was losing, I was told it sounded too complicated, even with MFP. My MIL is the same way.
Nowadays, I just nod, ask questions, be supportive in their efforts to try to improve themselves, but, unless they're doing something potentially harmful, like a 500 calorie a day crash diet, I'm not going to tell them their way is the wrong way. Any way you get a calorie deficit, you're going to lose weight, and some people just like to complicate things.
This is why I never talk about my weight loss on social media outside of MFP. So many people constantly posting their miracle diets and drastic losses and so forth. I won't even go there. I actually had a former classmate HIDE FROM ME in Target and then sent me a message on facebook saying she was ashamed that she gained back the weight she had lost. It made me sad and really confused. People are weird.
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My personal rule for friends who insist on idiotic fad diets is that I won't try to stop them but I refuse to listen to them complain about how hard the diet is. You want to give up eating everything but organic alfalfa sprouts, jolly, but don't expect me to praise your hard work and willingness to suffer. About the third time someone pouts and says, "I'm never going to reach my goal! I'm not losing anything and really miss being able to eat X..." and I respond with, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm losing steadily and I eat x every day," they stop telling me about the fad diet.13
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Life's too short not to tell your best friend you tell everything to not do something you think is stupid, diets included.
Hugs, OP.
Still, it's not the end of the world if she doesn't listen, but at least you tried.
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I agree that fad diets are usually a bad idea, people who follow them usually end up yo-yo ing and can often be harmful. In saying that not everyone wants to count calories. Using mfp has been super helpful for me and I find entering data to be useful and interesting and loads of others feel the same way, but for some people calorie counting can become obsessive.
I think using something like Keto or IF can be good for some people if they use these diets for portion control and consume high satiating foods. Any time someone uses diets like this they are still doing CI CO, they just may not be physically tracking the calories.4 -
*sigh* it happens... I'd just let it go at this point tbh.. I have a friend who's the same, we used to be roughly the same size (she was a bit heavier than me, but she's also a bit taller, so probably same-ish BMI in the high 30s)... I lost weight through calorie counting and the concept of CICO... she's done keto, water fasting, some weird egg diet, etc... exercise (but didn't change her food habits much)... she'd at most lose 20-30lbs or so, then gain it all back within 3-4 months... it's been 10 years.. she's doing low carb again.. she weighs more than 10 years ago...
You can give all the advice in the world but if someone doesn't like it or doesn't want to listen then there's nothing you can do - besides, some people DO manage just fine without calorie counting or mfp5 -
At a point, I think the best thing to do is lead by example. My mother spent years on cleanses, supplements, bizarre foods, and a whole parade of other "magic bullets." Now, she's finally losing weight through -drumroll- weighing and logging her food, the same way I've been maintaining my weight all along. It just took her a while to accept that because I didn't have a talk show or a column in a women's magazine...14
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elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
If someone weighs the same for 6 months at a time they are eating at maintenance. If they were intending to lose weight, there is a mistake in their calculation of calories in or calories out - they are underestimating what they are eating or overestimating what they are burning, or both.
There's a guy over in the Fitness forum trying to gain weight and hasn't gained since October. He thought his maintenance calories were 2600, but since he's been on 3100 calories and isn't gaining weight, his maintenance calories for his activity level are 3100.11 -
It could be worse! It could be an unhealthy fad diet. At least your buddy picked something reasonably nutritious.5
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kshama2001 wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »You have to be ready to do it..she's not. Also.. i don't count calories. it is wonderful that it works for you and so many people. But, i don't like counting them either. However, i've lost 30 pounds on another plan where i eat six healthy whole meals a day. i love my way of eating becasue i don't have to think about every single bite of food and i'm lsoing weight effortlessly. I basically eat a whole foods diet ...
So, tell your friend there are other ways to lose besides CICO...but she can't cheat the fact you have to eat healthy meats, fresh vegetables and fruits, and exercise to get fit. period.
No, there is no other way to lose weight besides CICO. The problem is that you're mistaken in what "CICO" is. You lose weight by eating less calories than you burn - there are a lot of ways to arrive at that result, but it's all CICO (which is not a particular kind of diet, but an acronym for "Calories In, Calories Out", which is a short way of defining the law of energy balance - a proven, undeniable principle of physics which defines how weight loss occurs.
CICO is not calorie counting, nor is it eating certain kinds of foods, or at certain times of the day, or sa certain exercise program, or anything else. But no matter what you do, weight loss comes down to consuming less calories than you expend over time.
sorry.. i know you belive this.. and that's cool.. but you're wrong. for example. why do people plateau if CICO always works? k? Gosh.. i ve seen people talk about being stuck at a weight counting calories for three months.. six months.,..on and on. They are desperate to find out why it isn't working any longer. That's becasue the body is more compllicated than CICO.
If someone weighs the same for 6 months at a time they are eating at maintenance. If they were intending to lose weight, there is a mistake in their calculation of calories in or calories out - they are underestimating what they are eating or overestimating what they are burning, or both.
There's a guy over in the Fitness forum trying to gain weight and hasn't gained since October. He thought his maintenance calories were 2600, but since he's been on 3100 calories and isn't gaining weight, his maintenance calories for his activity level are 3100.
...and let's not forget starvation mode doesn't exist. When you go in countries where there's food shortages, people are all skin and bones. Or what about anorexic people, there's a reason they become so thin and frail. I never seen an obese who eats very little food (1000 calories or less) daily for years.9 -
I'd just like to add that I wish someone would have told me about counting calories a long time ago. I was ready to lose weight but didn't know what to do. I don't share anything about losing on fb or even my friends, when they notice & ask, I tell them2
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I've now read up on it. It's basically the "best" of vegan and the "best" of paleo (as determined by the creator). High in vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, high quality animal proteins, healthy fats, low glycemic fruits, moderate goat and sheep dairy, moderate real whole grains. Low in junk food and other heavily processed convenience foods. Apparently the creator (Dr. Hyman) uses the term "pagan" rather tongue in cheek. The author's previous book was about healthy fats.
So, as I said earlier, the OP's friend seems to have found a nutritious "fad" diet. "Fad" being an odd term for nutrient dense, old fashioned diet.6 -
One of my friends lost 25 lbs doing the HCG diet. She eats 500 calories a day and takes diet drops that dont even have hcg in them. She gains and loses the weight. Basically she starves herself. I dont think that is healthy but she does it and looks good and her results were fast.7
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Does she have undiagnosed thyroid problem that may be causing her confusion?4
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Dr Oz is one of the biggest charlatans out there. He may have been a great cardio-thoracic surgeon, but he sold out long ago.
The idea of CICO is simple enough, but humans are emotional creatures. We will hang onto preconceptions for as long as we possibly can because we want to pin the cause of something on a particular idea.
Give her time.5 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I've now read up on it. It's basically the "best" of vegan and the "best" of paleo (as determined by the creator). High in vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, high quality animal proteins, healthy fats, low glycemic fruits, moderate goat and sheep dairy, moderate real whole grains. Low in junk food and other heavily processed convenience foods. Apparently the creator (Dr. Hyman) uses the term "pagan" rather tongue in cheek. The author's previous book was about healthy fats.
So, as I said earlier, the OP's friend seems to have found a nutritious "fad" diet. "Fad" being an odd term for nutrient dense, old fashioned diet.
Which is great, but still won't cause you to lose weight unless you eat fewer calories than you expend.5 -
rheddmobile wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I've now read up on it. It's basically the "best" of vegan and the "best" of paleo (as determined by the creator). High in vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, high quality animal proteins, healthy fats, low glycemic fruits, moderate goat and sheep dairy, moderate real whole grains. Low in junk food and other heavily processed convenience foods. Apparently the creator (Dr. Hyman) uses the term "pagan" rather tongue in cheek. The author's previous book was about healthy fats.
So, as I said earlier, the OP's friend seems to have found a nutritious "fad" diet. "Fad" being an odd term for nutrient dense, old fashioned diet.
Which is great, but still won't cause you to lose weight unless you eat fewer calories than you expend.
Neither will weighing your food and counting every calorie. Millions of people have done that and still eaten more calories than they expended....and therefore not lost weight.
The point is to find a style of eating (either types of food and/or timing of when you eat them) that isn't overly burdensome for your lifestyle/personality and that makes it EASIER for you to eat less than you expend on a consistent basis. Counting calories is not necessary. And if you like the "fad diet" that you pick, you greatly increase the chance of being able to stick to eating appropriate amounts and losing weight.25 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I've now read up on it. It's basically the "best" of vegan and the "best" of paleo (as determined by the creator). High in vegetables, nuts, seeds, fish, high quality animal proteins, healthy fats, low glycemic fruits, moderate goat and sheep dairy, moderate real whole grains. Low in junk food and other heavily processed convenience foods. Apparently the creator (Dr. Hyman) uses the term "pagan" rather tongue in cheek. The author's previous book was about healthy fats.
So, as I said earlier, the OP's friend seems to have found a nutritious "fad" diet. "Fad" being an odd term for nutrient dense, old fashioned diet.
It's great to focus on healthy foods, and a lot of people would do better improving their diet from a nutritional standpoint. So in that regard, eating this way is a good thing.
I have issues with the naming of this plan, as I feel veganism is about the ethics of the choice and isn't a term that should be used casually. You don't dabble in it. I don't know, I just think it's tacky to coopt the word.
Selling the plan as a weight loss thing? Well, I guess the measure of success a person achieves would depend on why the person is carrying extra body fat. Assuming that it's just because their food choices suck, they'd probably drop some weight. However, that only holds true for a certain percent of people with weight issues, and obviously, the amount of calories consumed can still be a problem no matter how nutrient dense an eating plan is.
I wouldn't call this a fad diet, though. I'd say it's superior to what the OP is eating (like a poster upthread, I took a peek at her diary back when she was still here and logging, I think she flew the coop), but calories will still matter.
As for me and my approach with people and diets? I don't talk about it unless asked. I say what I do, tell them it suits my preferences, and change the subject. My sister tried this and hated it. She needs to use other methods to regulate her weight and is still looking for the right one for her.3 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »It's great to focus on healthy foods, and a lot of people would do better improving their diet from a nutritional standpoint. So in that regard, eating this way is a good thing.
For the time being, yes. But what happens when she fails to lose weight as she anticipates? She'll conclude that it "doesn't work" and either switch to some other fad or give up entirely.4 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »It's great to focus on healthy foods, and a lot of people would do better improving their diet from a nutritional standpoint. So in that regard, eating this way is a good thing.
For the time being, yes. But what happens when she fails to lose weight as she anticipates? She'll conclude that it "doesn't work" and either switch to some other fad or give up entirely.
If the person gives up...then maybe they don't want to do the work required to lose weight. At some point people have to take responsibility for themselves. They need to do their own research and figure out the best diet for them. I know the internet is filled with a lot of bad information but there is also some good info...you just have to keep searching until you find it. Most people that are successful at weight loss have done that.2
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