Recomp, eat less, eat more? Confused!

nettiklive
nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
edited November 26 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm going to Hawaii in mid-July and would love to get in the best shape I can by then to look good in a swimsuit! :p But I'm confused on what's best to do between now and then. I'm 5'4 and 115-117 lbs with a very small build, and a pear shape so most of my weight is in my legs and hips. I've been 110 for years and felt great at that weight but haven't been able to lose the 5-6 lbs since having my second child almost three years ago :/ I also haven't been able to consistently work out all this time so I feel I also lost muscle and gained fat so I look skinny fat and wider than I'd like.

Now I've started lifting again and hoping I'll be able to keep with it consistently, but I'm confused on how to eat. MFP estimates my TDEE at 1520 but I believe it's closer to 1400 as that's around how much I've been eating on average and maintaining on. My first instinct is to try and lose those five pesky lbs, but to lose .5 lb a week I need to eat 1260, which I can do but I don't know if eating that little and trying to lift can even work? Will I be able to build any muscle? I also have trouble getting enough protein, my diet is pretty carb-heavy and getting even .8 g per lb of protein on a 1200-1300 calorie diet leaves very little room for carbs! But I'm afraid if I stay at maintenance, I won't lose any fat by then and it'll just be covering up any muscle and make me look bigger. Thoughts??

A few notes: portion size and satiety are absolutely not an issue for me, I have some stomach issues and get full very quickly and have often gone days without realizing I've forgotten to eat till late in the evening, but I have trouble eating the 'right' things and giving up foods entirely. So I'm willing to go as low as needed calorie-wise but at this point absolutely not willing to try anything like low-carb, and I also despise cardio and HIIT makes me feel really ill, so I'd like to avoid it if possible and just stick to lifting. Any advice within these boundaries would be most welcome! I'm obviously not counting on looking like a fitness model by July, just whittling away as much fat as possible while still looking somewhat toned would be great.
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Replies

  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I agree with this. I saw your picture in the recomp thread. I think you're a very harsh critic of yourself. You've been given very good advice on how to go about recomping and adding more protein. Stick to that.
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    I totally agree with each poster above^!
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited April 2018
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I will be focusing in recomp in the long term but I wasn't sure if I should try and lose the extra few lbs first to look better quicker.
    I don't have unrealistic expectations from my appearance but I know what I looked like when I was 5 lbs thinner and on my frame it made a huge difference. I'll pull up a picture later.
    I'm fine with my upper body for the most part, it's my legs I struggle with as they look like they belong on a different person almost, they make me feel frumpy and look like the legs of a woman twice my age and weight :( here's a closer photo
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    collectingblues wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I will be focusing in recomp in the long term but I wasn't sure if I should try and lose the extra few lbs first to look better quicker.
    I don't have unrealistic expectations from my appearance but I know what I looked like when I was 5 lbs thinner and on my frame it made a huge difference. I'll pull up a picture later.
    I'm fine with my upper body for the most part, it's my legs I struggle with as they look like they belong on a different person almost, they make me feel frumpy and look like the legs of a woman twice my age and weight :( here's a closer photo

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but your legs are *fine*. They look like legs. They're muscular, and even if you try/think that five pounds will fix them, you can't guarantee that any loss will come from there.

    You don't have five pounds to lose.

    Cosigned...

    Just focus on recomp with the realization that recomp is very small changes occurring over a long period of time. It's not likely that you're going to see a ton of change in a matter of 3 months...which doesn't matter, you look totally fine IMO. I think you just have some body dysphoria going on here.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    edited April 2018
    nettiklive wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I will be focusing in recomp in the long term but I wasn't sure if I should try and lose the extra few lbs first to look better quicker.
    I don't have unrealistic expectations from my appearance but I know what I looked like when I was 5 lbs thinner and on my frame it made a huge difference. I'll pull up a picture later.
    I'm fine with my upper body for the most part, it's my legs I struggle with as they look like they belong on a different person almost, they make me feel frumpy and look like the legs of a woman twice my age and weight :( here's a closer photo

    My body carries weight the same way, and I have the same view about my legs because they, like yours, are muscular, so I feel your pain, I really do, but honestly, the BMI that you want to be is at an unhealthy level. And honestly, your legs are fine and look like a woman's legs.

    Recomp will give you the change you want, but it will take time.

    I'm going to edit to add this: those of us who have been genetically "gifted" with muscle tissue layed down on our thighs look at women with thinner thighs and think our thighs are fat, when in fact, those women just have genetically less muscle tissue there. It's not that we're jacked or anything, but differences exist between individuals in how much muscle tissue is distributed and where. I'd love to have a lithe build, but, meh, I "won" the genetic lottery and inherited my grandmother's stocky peasant genes. You should have seen her. 4'10" if she was standing on her tiptoes, not an ounce of fat, and built like a tank, she was so muscular.
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,383 Member
    RE: hitting protein.

    There's lots of little sneaky way I get protein into my daily goal.

    - Mix protein powder into my Greek yogurt bowl
    - Use protein powder in baking recipes (protein muffins, pancakes, cheesecakes, etc.)
    - Choose the "High Protein" versions of prepackaged carbs (instant oatmeal, granola, pasta, etc.)
  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
    GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I will be focusing in recomp in the long term but I wasn't sure if I should try and lose the extra few lbs first to look better quicker.
    I don't have unrealistic expectations from my appearance but I know what I looked like when I was 5 lbs thinner and on my frame it made a huge difference. I'll pull up a picture later.
    I'm fine with my upper body for the most part, it's my legs I struggle with as they look like they belong on a different person almost, they make me feel frumpy and look like the legs of a woman twice my age and weight :( here's a closer photo

    My body carries weight the same way, and I have the same view about my legs because they, like yours, are muscular, so I feel your pain, I really do, but honestly, the BMI that you want to be is at an unhealthy level. And honestly, your legs are fine and look like a woman's legs.

    Recomp will give you the change you want, but it will take time.

    I'm going to edit to add this: those of us who have been genetically "gifted" with muscle tissue layed down on our thighs look at women with thinner thighs and think our thighs are fat, when in fact, those women just have genetically less muscle tissue there. It's not that we're jacked or anything, but differences exist between individuals in how much muscle tissue is distributed and where. I'd love to have a lithe build, but, meh, I "won" the genetic lottery and inherited my grandmother's stocky peasant genes. You should have seen her. 4'10" if she was standing on her tiptoes, not an ounce of fat, and built like a tank, she was so muscular.

    So much your edit.

    I sometimes feel bad about my thighs, because I look at other people's measurements in some threads and on some boards, and feel guilty. And then I remember that OK, there's no pinchable fat on them, and I don't want to be like a woman I saw at my park who was running, but had *no* muscle tone -- she was quite literally almost just skin on bone. And then I remember that these thighs can help me run for 13.1 miles, so I'm just going to have to keep them around.

    And, I <3 my leggings, because then, they really do look awesome.
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited April 2018
    GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    What did you make of your feedback when you posted in the recomp thread?

    (BTW - You seem to be a very harsh critic of yourself judging by the picture you posted.... See no reason why anyone wouldn't consider you to be "bikini ready" right now.)

    You don't need to lose any more weight and it would quite possibly be counter-productive.

    I will be focusing in recomp in the long term but I wasn't sure if I should try and lose the extra few lbs first to look better quicker.
    I don't have unrealistic expectations from my appearance but I know what I looked like when I was 5 lbs thinner and on my frame it made a huge difference. I'll pull up a picture later.
    I'm fine with my upper body for the most part, it's my legs I struggle with as they look like they belong on a different person almost, they make me feel frumpy and look like the legs of a woman twice my age and weight :( here's a closer photo

    My body carries weight the same way, and I have the same view about my legs because they, like yours, are muscular, so I feel your pain, I really do, but honestly, the BMI that you want to be is at an unhealthy level. And honestly, your legs are fine and look like a woman's legs.

    Recomp will give you the change you want, but it will take time.

    I'm going to edit to add this: those of us who have been genetically "gifted" with muscle tissue layed down on our thighs look at women with thinner thighs and think our thighs are fat, when in fact, those women just have genetically less muscle tissue there. It's not that we're jacked or anything, but differences exist between individuals in how much muscle tissue is distributed and where. I'd love to have a lithe build, but, meh, I "won" the genetic lottery and inherited my grandmother's stocky peasant genes. You should have seen her. 4'10" if she was standing on her tiptoes, not an ounce of fat, and built like a tank, she was so muscular.

    well, I wouldn't mind so much if they were bigger but lean, as in athletic, firm with some muscle definition; but they're not, I may have some muscle underneath but there's a nice layer of fat on top that conceals any definition and makes them look flabby :/ It's 100% genetics - my 23 yo sister who works out like mad 5 times a week and watches her diet closely is super fit everywhere but her legs look exactly like that too except she's even a bit bigger. In contrast, my 60 yo MIL who has not worked out in decades and drives everywhere, has toned legs that show muscle like a 25 year old runner, just because her weight is distributed differently and her legs are very lean (she says she was actually always self conscious about her 'chicken legs' which is insane to me haha).

    For reference, this is what I looked like at 110 lbs and would love to get back to but failing so far :/ (and this was already after having my first child so I don't think the 'widened pelvis' argument stands here, plus my pelvis was already plenty wide before kids lol, 'birthin hips' I was told).

    mjckwdjzv416.jpg

  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    collectingblues wrote: »

    I sometimes feel bad about my thighs, because I look at other people's measurements in some threads and on some boards, and feel guilty. And then I remember that OK, there's no pinchable fat on them, and I don't want to be like a woman I saw at my park who was running, but had *no* muscle tone -- she was quite literally almost just skin on bone. And then I remember that these thighs can help me run for 13.1 miles, so I'm just going to have to keep them around.

    And, I <3 my leggings, because then, they really do look awesome.

    I can grab huge handfuls of fat on my hips and thighs unfortunately :neutral:
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    toxikon wrote: »
    RE: hitting protein.

    There's lots of little sneaky way I get protein into my daily goal.

    - Mix protein powder into my Greek yogurt bowl
    - Use protein powder in baking recipes (protein muffins, pancakes, cheesecakes, etc.)
    - Choose the "High Protein" versions of prepackaged carbs (instant oatmeal, granola, pasta, etc.)

    Thanks, yea I've been doing the Greek yogurt with protein powder; I am really sensitive to some tastes and textures and can't do protein shakes, in fact I'm not a huge fan of any shakes or smoothies period and I also hate the aftertaste of protein powder (same for any artificial sweeteners including stevia, which is actually in the Designer Whey powder I bought). I can also taste it in any baked stuff. It's tolerable in the yogurt, although not as enjoyable, I much prefer my yogurt plain with a bit of granola. I've tried adding protein to my diet before and kept stopping because basically I didn't want to waste 150 calories on something that tastes gross rather than something I actually enjoy lol.
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited April 2018
    GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    collectingblues wrote: »

    I sometimes feel bad about my thighs, because I look at other people's measurements in some threads and on some boards, and feel guilty. And then I remember that OK, there's no pinchable fat on them, and I don't want to be like a woman I saw at my park who was running, but had *no* muscle tone -- she was quite literally almost just skin on bone. And then I remember that these thighs can help me run for 13.1 miles, so I'm just going to have to keep them around.

    And, I <3 my leggings, because then, they really do look awesome.

    I can grab huge handfuls of fat on my hips and thighs unfortunately :neutral:

    No you can't. There aren't huge amounts there. Even the most fit people? Their muscle at rest is soft. Muscle is only rock hard when you're flexing it. I've urged you before to seek help, I'm going to urge you again.

    You have skin and yes, some fat on top of your muscles and bones. This is normal and what you're supposed to be like. You have very unrealistic expectations for yourself and unhealthy goals.

    Why would you say I have unrealistic goals when I'm even comparing myself to anyone else, just myself a few years earlier, when I was happy with my body? So I know it is possible for me, I'm just struggling to get there at the moment.

    Also just for reference and to show how much of a difference even a few lbs really do make on my frame (and also why I really really don't want to get back there), this is what I looked like at my highest weight at only 19 years old; I was only around 122-125 lbs here, believe it or not, and doing hours of cardio a week and constantly dieting and it wouldn't budge, however I was on birth control. Once I stopped, the weight fell off in six months with no real lifestyle changes. But I never ever want to look like this again. And it's only at most a 15 lbs difference with the photo I posted above, so naturally every extra lb worries me.

  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    collectingblues wrote: »

    If you're only happy with yourself when you are technically underweight, or even in that "you're underweight for a Caucasian population, even if your BMI is over 18.5", you need to talk to someone about your body dysmorphia.

    You're not going to get permission or validation here that it's OK to restrict back down to being underweight.

    erm...but doesn't it depend on your frame...? I have tiny child-size wrists which is why I always assumed I had a small frame. That's why I posted those pictures, to show how the weight actually looks on me - it's not about the weight itself, as plenty of 5'4 women weigh quite a bit more but look fit and smaller than I did at 125, yet on me it looked downright chubby, I hope you'll at least agree. I don't think I looked at all too thin or unhealthy at 110 either. Everyone carries weight differently, and just like some weigh more than they look, it's the opposite for me, people are usually surprised I weigh as little as I do.
  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
    edited April 2018
    nettiklive wrote: »
    collectingblues wrote: »

    If you're only happy with yourself when you are technically underweight, or even in that "you're underweight for a Caucasian population, even if your BMI is over 18.5", you need to talk to someone about your body dysmorphia.

    You're not going to get permission or validation here that it's OK to restrict back down to being underweight.

    erm...but doesn't it depend on your frame...? I have tiny child-size wrists which is why I always assumed I had a small frame. That's why I posted those pictures, to show how the weight actually looks on me - it's not about the weight itself, as plenty of 5'4 women weigh quite a bit more but look fit and smaller than I did at 125, yet on me it looked downright chubby, I hope you'll at least agree. I don't think I looked at all too thin or unhealthy at 110 either. Everyone carries weight differently, and just like some weigh more than they look, it's the opposite for me, people are usually surprised I weigh as little as I do.

    No, I don't agree that you looked chubby at 125. I don't disagree that *you* thought you looked that way, and that's why I'm telling you to go see a therapist about your dysmorphia.

    But, to play along. What's your wrist measurement? What's your underbust? What are your other measurements?

    Like, I have tiny wrists and narrow hips. I've got wide shoulders, though, thanks to years of swim training. And my elbows, which are supposedly that other frame-size marker, actually put me at a "large" frame.

    I'm 5'4", just like you. If I were to use my wrists as justification that I should be underweight, I'd be ignoring the reality that you can see my ribs, collarbones, and hips at my current weight, and that it would not be healthy for me to be underweight.
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited April 2018
    hesn92 wrote: »
    I’m just here to reiterate that you look fine as you are now. You don’t need to lose any more weight. Your legs look like legs, they seem perfectly fine to me. Honestly I feel it’s a little unhealthy to be this obsessed with how you look. If you want to look more “fit” then make time to lift weights.

    Okay :/ ...everyone's legs, and other parts, look like said body parts at almost any weight, so why do we have a site dedicated to fitness and weight loss at all? I don't recall saying I want my legs to look like ears, just legs that are slimmer, smaller and more toned. Didn't realize wanting to look better was considered unhealthy and wasn't par for the course for a weight loss and fitness forum. I guess I need to go to a different site. Thanks anyways.
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