What makes a guy hesitant to show interest ?

2

Replies

  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    Who hurt you?

    That's a story for another day or should I say another forum.
    I've just seen it back fire on too many fellas.
    Not to mention too many training sessions. Manly because of the guy in the White House. Oppps he did it again.....
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    Who hurt you?

    That's a story for another day or should I say another forum.
    I've just seen it back fire on too many fellas.
    Not to mention too many training sessions. Manly because of the guy in the White House. Oppps he did it again.....

    Que?
  • dniania
    dniania Posts: 251 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    That escalated quickly :o
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    dniania wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    That escalated quickly :o

    lol
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  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    denny_mac wrote: »
    dniania wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    That escalated quickly :o

    Yeah, he went right to the finish. You gotta let it build. There's gotta be some conversational back and forth. Give and take. Just like at a good meal, you don't start with dessert. He saw the appetizer and went right to the chocolate death brownie.

    She wanted the truth, and I just told it. No need to beat around the bush.
  • go_cubs
    go_cubs Posts: 1,183 Member
    He was showing interest then he wasn’t ?


    Lol I’m sorry but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out



    On to the next one honey
  • Unknown
    edited April 2018
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  • dniania
    dniania Posts: 251 Member
    OP, I remember you posting threads about your breakup, are you talking about the same guy? If so, do you not remember what I told you about that? Unless he has champagne coming out of his "kitten" and can make you shake like a broken washing machine, he's replacable. NEXT... :D Don't waste your time trying to figure out if a guy likes you or not, if he's interested you would know.

    Lol no i moved on :(
  • dniania
    dniania Posts: 251 Member
    OP, I remember you posting threads about your breakup, are you talking about the same guy? If so, do you not remember what I told you about that? Unless he has champagne coming out of his "kitten" and can make you shake like a broken washing machine, he's replacable. NEXT... :D Don't waste your time trying to figure out if a guy likes you or not, if he's interested you would know.

    Even though i didn’t want to lol
  • dniania
    dniania Posts: 251 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    denny_mac wrote: »
    dniania wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Because men are damned if they do damned if they don't. If a man shows interest in a woman and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings he's a creep or a perv. God forbid the interest was in a co-worker, now it's sexual herasment.
    Bloody hell it's just easier to stay celibate and play it safe and easy.
    Of course, I never do anything safe and easy.

    That escalated quickly :o

    Yeah, he went right to the finish. You gotta let it build. There's gotta be some conversational back and forth. Give and take. Just like at a good meal, you don't start with dessert. He saw the appetizer and went right to the chocolate death brownie.

    She wanted the truth, and I just told it. No need to beat around the bush.

    Lol
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    dniania wrote: »
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    the same reasons youd be hesitant to show interest in him :/

    Im not scared to show a guy i want him lol B)

    Have you showed this particular guy any interest?
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    1 - he's not interested
    2 - he's shy
    3 - he's not sensing that you're interested
  • Deisler26
    Deisler26 Posts: 357 Member
    Maybe because they’ve had a crisis of confidence?

    It’s probably not, but I know I’ve sabotaged a few budding relationships by convincing myself that it’s a sick joke that they like me and backing off
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    I'll try to answer this without letting a few bad experiences of my own come into play, or having it colored by the current cultural narrative and/or president, but it will be difficult.

    (But not really because it's impossible to know whether or not those things have anything at all to do with the situation presented, and I'm just not a big fan of blaming my personal foibles and experiences on others because at some point I managed to progress beyond puberty.)

    My guess, if he showed interest before and then stopped, he likely either found someone else he was more interested in, or he saw something there that outweighed his initial interest thusly causing it to wane. That's about all that can be assumed without more detail on both sides of the "relationship". I mean without creating a bunch of paper tigers like "OHNOES TEH WIMMINZ ARE ALL SO MEAN!!!!11!!1one!!!1!" If we go that route there's tons of assumptions to be made.

    giphy.gif
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  • ChaelAZ
    ChaelAZ Posts: 2,240 Member
    Being married. Makes it tough to date really.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    ChaelAZ wrote: »
    Being married. Makes it tough to date really.

    Oh come on tons of people do it. :joy:
  • ChaelAZ
    ChaelAZ Posts: 2,240 Member
    Just_J_Now wrote: »
    ChaelAZ wrote: »
    Being married. Makes it tough to date really.

    Oh come on tons of people do it. :joy:

    I said tough, not impossible :)
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    Years of rejection and feelings of inadequacy?
  • kschwab0203
    kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
    I agree with the whole "if he likes you, you will know" theory and here is why...

    When I was dating a few years ago I met this guy online. I thought he was cute and was really excited about him. We messaged, we exchanged numbers, and eventually went out on a date. The date was kinda of "meh". I didn't like him anymore. When he texted or called, I kept the convo short and sweet. I showed no more interest. It's not that I was nervous or feared rejection. I wasn't shy or in another relationship or working too much or whatever. I wasn't interested.

    Don't spend time overthinking it. NEXT!
  • drisley77
    drisley77 Posts: 11 Member
    Yes it's what Steveko says, fear of rejection is almost always the case.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    drisley77 wrote: »
    Yes it's what Steveko says, fear of rejection is almost always the case.

    Well, if you don't ask, the answer is always "No.".

    And....

    You miss 100 percent of the shots that you don't take.
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    drisley77 wrote: »
    Yes it's what Steveko says, fear of rejection is almost always the case.

    Well, if you don't ask, the answer is always "No.".

    And....

    You miss 100 percent of the shots that you don't take.

    Lived by that philosophy trying to carpe that diem through most of adolescence trying to out-kick my coverage with the girls I crushed on. Years of getting brushed off takes a toll on the ole self-esteem and you start to think harder about wanting to take that shot. Eventually, shot selection and execution improved. Thank god I got married when I did; trying to be single now in the Tinder-era sounds awful.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    I agree with the whole "if he likes you, you will know" theory and here is why...



    Don't spend time overthinking it. NEXT!

    I agree too. But some people are not self aware enough to figure this out. Or delusional.
  • Pinkferry12345
    Pinkferry12345 Posts: 430 Member
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I agree with the whole "if he likes you, you will know" theory and here is why...



    Don't spend time overthinking it. NEXT!

    I agree too. But some people are not self aware enough to figure this out. Or delusional.

    How do I tell bell
  • azironasun
    azironasun Posts: 137 Member
    dniania wrote: »
    Cause he don’t like you Plain and simple
    If a guy likes you he’s making it known ..
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Maybe because he's just not that into you.

    Guys who want me try to get in there. Guys who don't, don't call back.
    if he's interested in you, he'll show he's interested in you.

    Okay but he showed interest and then backed off ?

    Some people just like sharpening their claws on others.
  • dniania
    dniania Posts: 251 Member
    Just_J_Now wrote: »
    dniania wrote: »
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    the same reasons youd be hesitant to show interest in him :/

    Im not scared to show a guy i want him lol B)

    Have you showed this particular guy any interest?

    Umm kind of lol
  • notthistime_
    notthistime_ Posts: 76 Member
    Eh...I wouldn't waste time on someone who doesn't give two *kitten* about me