Anyone else not telling???

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  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    As for me, I don't feel comfortable telling people. It is admitting that I put on weight, wasn't in control etc before. By mentioning that I want to lose weight, I am embarrassed that I put the weight on in the first place.
    My husband is my partner, he knows. Other people I only tell when I have to (that is, I don't lie when asked), but I don't raise the topic.
    That's what I call the Facebook façade; everything needs to *look* good regardless of how it's been underneath the surface. It is interesting to see people's reactions when I'm telling them why I filed for divorce (psychological abuse etc.) and I'm in a state of mind where I can speak very matter-of-fact about things. Same goes for my weight. It's just how it's been but it's not how it is anymore and standing behind one's personality, flaws and good sides, is a huge step forward in my opinion. Why is hardship of various kinds embarrassing? Everybody struggles at some point in their life and on some people the weight will tell, in others the mess will be on the inside.
  • brandyme
    brandyme Posts: 400 Member
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    I am absolutely telling. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have twitter and facebook posts setup and all. Everybody around me is aware that I live a healthy lifestyle. I don't run around fishing for compliments or telling people how much I workout or how much I have lost, I just go about my business living my life how I choose and if it comes up in conversation so be it.

    I think it's important to let people around you know because they can be instrumental in helping you be successful. I was never fully successful, like I am now, until I brought my spouse in the mix with me. I needed the support in the house. We both had to start eating better, being more active... living better. Now that we do it together, it's been amazing and rewarding.
  • chandanista
    chandanista Posts: 986 Member
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    I've told people. Just comes out, here and there, and then others start to notice.

    I guess at work last week a bunch of the shop guys were commiserating about how they work hard all day and then work out in the evening, we don't know what they go through. My (lady) coworker asked them if they hadn't noticed how skinny I'm getting; "Well, yeah, but isn't she just on a fad diet or something?" As this coworker and I had attended the same gym (she's moved on) she proceeded to educate them on how hard I'm working, after leaving the office.

    So, now I think everyone in my life knows. And that's OK. Couple "you're crazy if you don't eat X right now" and "You may be getting obsessed" comments, but overall a ton of support.
  • MelStren
    MelStren Posts: 457 Member
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    DH=Dear Husband

    or "Damned husband" ....depending on how mad you are!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    I didn't go out of my way to keep it a secret, but I don't go out of my way to talk about it, either, except to my roommates and my mom (we all live in the same house). I figured people would figure it out when they saw me getting smaller, which they did. I didn't want everyone to feel like they had the right to comment on what/how I was eating and whether or not I was succeeding.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    "not telling" is how I quit tobacco. I didn't tell anyone, I just stopped. Nobody asked how I was doing, no one tried to encourage me, or share "their story", so really no one reminded me of the fact that I was doing something different, it just became normal.
  • Shaolin_Life
    Shaolin_Life Posts: 53 Member
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    I need to. DH and I have both put on weight, but it's much more noticeable with my small frame. But everytime I try to start losing weight he makes me not want to by telling me I can't do it.

    I know we tend to cave in easily to emotional pressures...That's how I got fat! WE GOTTA CHANGE THAT THINKING.

    Remember: He can't "make" you "not want to". It's your choice. Your life depends on it....All the best!
  • ArtemisRuns
    ArtemisRuns Posts: 251 Member
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    My husband and I are doing this together! We have our food diaries open and we support each other. We both have weight to lose. It's hard when he loses faster than I do, but I know he is here to support me all the way. However, I am not telling anyone outside of our household.
  • spoiledpuppies
    spoiledpuppies Posts: 675 Member
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    My husband knows. He's supportive and curious. I'm not sure that he'll end up doing it too, but he does see that I'm eating well and even randomly went and bought a book about healthy eating for himself. Otherwise, I don't really tell others. I mentioned to my mom that I'm waiting to buy a Bodymedia Core 2, but that's it. (She's coming for a visit at the end of the month for a few days, so she'll have to find out then. I expect that she'll be relatively supportive--just disappointed that I don't want to go to some of the usual restaurants.)

    I keep this stuff private for the most part. When I lived away from friends and family for a couple of years, I happened to lose 50 pounds. When I came back, people were really curious. One girl wanted to know how much I had lost, and I didn't want to talk about it. She was like, "Really, if I did that, I'd want to shout it from the rooftops." I just thought, "yeah, we'll you're a 5'10" beanpole who has no idea what it's like to be self-conscious about your weight."
  • sharon75uk
    sharon75uk Posts: 51 Member
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    I've been on holiday from work for 5 weeks, have another week to go and have lost 13lbs so far since just before we stopped. I am hoping my workmates see a small difference but won't be bothered if they don't. If no one notices I'm not telling them and will wait and see how long it takes them to notice me loosing weight.
  • comingsize12
    comingsize12 Posts: 21 Member
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    Sorry to hear that. Remember this is about YOU. Do it for you just stay focused don't be discourage. Good luck. You can do it!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Everyone in my life knows....how could they not I am loosin weight, eating differently and working out like a mad woman.

    As for my husband that brat has the metabolism of an ant...doesn't matter what he eats...but he does not push it on me either.

    He personally doesn't care what I weigh......he loves me at 205 and loves me at 175 and compliments me and is attracted to me regardless (mind you he asked me not to get too small the other day based on pics we were looking at and I agreed I didn't want to be as small as the woman in the photo....)
  • kpick41
    kpick41 Posts: 81 Member
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    I needed to tell my husband, and some of my friends. Now everyone knows as I've started a fb page to help keep me accountable.
    https://www.facebook.com/Actually.Ican2
  • ACrowsDay
    ACrowsDay Posts: 66 Member
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    I've found that I do better when I don't really tell people but let them figure it out from me not ordering chinese take away or I mention how Shaun T kicked my bum. But I'm glad I haven't told anyone really so that when I do eat a candy bar or something I don't have people in my face about how I'm "supposed to be on a diet" or offering me tempting foods just to be sabotaging or telling me how I can't do it and whatnot. I like being able to do my own thing without too much outside commenting.

    The only one who I ever really talk to about it is my partner and he's really great about it usually. We see fat and carbs differently but he's supportive and encouraging and is honest with me about my weight. He does sometimes say things that make me wanna bonk him on the head but I hear men tend to do that.
  • eAddict
    eAddict Posts: 212 Member
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    My sister knows because the other day she asked what time it was and I looked in my bra to tell her. I then had to explain the fitbit. Lol.

    :laugh:

    "The magic boobies say it's 3:30!"
    I was thinking more along the lines of a new type of sun dial.
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
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    I would never keep this a secret. Everyone I am close to knows what I am trying to accomplish. If they support me, that's awesome. If not, then it's no loss and I'll just keep going on without them. I would never have people in my life that I didn't think would support me or I didn't think I could trust with them knowing. Everyone in my life loves me for who I am, and would still feel the same whether I was 20 pounds lighter or 100 pounds heavier and will support me either way. My husband didn't really get it at first but still supported me. Now when he cooks dinner, he saves all the packaging for me so I can log everything, he weighs things on my scale, and when we make plans to do things at night, he tries to plan so that I have some time to get some kind of a work out in before we go do whatever. I think he's getting more and more interested.
  • smerkord
    smerkord Posts: 101 Member
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    I feel like your husband might not ever outright comment on your actual weight loss. In men's minds that is a recipe for disaster. He might not know if you will respond in a stereotypical way by thinking he thought you were fat before. I personally never kept this from my boyfriend, and he has been nothing but supportive and complimentary the entire time.
    ^^^^^This^^^^
  • MidlifeGlowUp
    MidlifeGlowUp Posts: 91 Member
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    I haven't told anyone. I've told people in the past, and many seem to immediately move to thwart my effort. This time I'm keeping my own counsel. It's hard with no support, yet easier than fighting off blatant acts of sabotage.
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
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    I've told the people I spend a reasonable amount of time with (my husband of course, my parents, my best friend, etc.) because when they invite me to hang out with them, they know my goals and will support me in trying to meet them.

    For example, my parents know I'm probably not going to want pancakes and bacon in the morning when my husband and I go camping with them. My best friend doesn't ask me to split popcorn and a soda with her at the movies. My husband knows that our chances of ordering a pizza are slim to none.

    It's not something I obsess over or discuss at length with anyone, but it's good that the people in my life know so they can help support me and they understand when I turn down dinner at the local italian restaurant in favor of my home cooked salmon and veggies :)
  • Lindaspencer
    Lindaspencer Posts: 226 Member
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    I did keep it a secret at first - for the same exact reason - i wanted to see if he would notice - because how had he not noticed the 30 lb weight gain - lol - he never ever once said anything about it - which is awesome - but also made it easier to not put down the chocolate - and binge out - cuz he loves me no matter what - right? lol but i finally had to do it for me - i was unhappy with how i looked - but anyways it took about 15 pounds for him to notice which was about 3 months - lol - and then my confidence came back and i felt more sexy which then - that he noticed lol ;) good luck with your journey - hope his reaction is blown away :)

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