Anyone else not telling???

124

Replies

  • Pinkee33
    Pinkee33 Posts: 769 Member
    The only person I've told is my husband. I think my mom and sister kind of know since I've mentioned the site before, but as far as I know no one else knows. I'd like to keep it that way. There's so much stigma over the word "diet".

    There is a lot of stigma attached to the word, "diet" therefore I refuse to use it! I just say I'm exercising and choosing to make better choices for a healthier lifestyle.... I don't tell myself that I cannot have something as that would be sabotage everything right there..... like today, I will be having pizza and I don't feel bad about it! lol All in moderation, right?
  • Jeffy67
    Jeffy67 Posts: 112 Member
    I need to. DH and I have both put on weight, but it's much more noticeable with my small frame. But everytime I try to start losing weight he makes me not want to by telling me I can't do it.

    That's to bad he tells you that. My partner encourages me.
    Stick to your guns and let him know your doing this and nothing is gonna stop you !
    :)
  • yowla
    yowla Posts: 127 Member
    Is anyone else keeping their diet/exercise a secret?
    [/quote]

    I would like to but he can see everything I do. He is on my friends list here. He tries to wake me up and work out in the morning and I would love to workout with him but he is mean when we workout together and then by the time I get home and have to deal with the kids and all the house hold stuff I am exhausted and ready to make dinner. He doesn't understand. He thinks the kids and house is easier than working. Well put a part time job plus cleaning when part time when needed too on top of all of it. I just can't hide anything from him. Everything I get up and leave the room he asks what I am doing or where I am going.
    I need help doing this? Anyone want to friend me and help me??? :flowerforyou:
  • junejadesky
    junejadesky Posts: 524 Member
    It seems strange to me that anyone would keep it a secret. Of course I have read why and understand why so many would, but I am the complete opposite. My hubby has been supportive, we meal plan together, and he is willing to do anything to change over to healthy habits to support me. I can't imagine being with someone who sabotages or eats bad food in front of you because that must be very discouraging and dis-heartening!

    I would tell your spouse and he'll give you the support you need. And I have seen a few guys comment that they just don't comment on their SOs weight loss because women are ticking time bombs in that respect... they just can't win sometimes so why say anything!

    Good luck with your goals!
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    When I first started, I didn't tell him. I never have when I started a new diet. But I have the opposite problem. He's TOO supportive. Constantly monitoring what I eat, commenting if he doesn't think I should be eating it. It drives me crazy. He's a health nut and to be honest I'd weigh WAY more than I do now if it wasn't for him. But he doesn't understand that I need to do this in my own way and not the way he would do it.

    I've been on MFP a year now and I told him a few months after I started. He's pretty much left me alone with my food choices and occasionally asks if I'm still logging.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
    If you're keeping the secret for the only reason of waiting for kudos you're going to have to wait a long time and you will be disappointed. The person who lives with you daily will be the last person to notice.

    I hope you don't get too disappointed and please don't make him look like an *kitten* when someone you haven't seen in a while notices in front of him...

    I agree with this, not to be mean, but it's hard to notice when you see someone every day! Just be prepared to wait a while before he says anything.

    I've been doing this off and on for two years, so mine is used to it. It never really comes up anymore.
  • DanaeMonique
    DanaeMonique Posts: 41 Member
    You shouldn't look at it as a "DIET", I highly dislike that word, because it is not a diet, it's a healthy and active lifestyle! You gained 30 lbs because of an unhealthy lifestyle, a diet to me is temporary because your only going to work out and eat right for a certain amount of time when you should do this for the rest of your life. Secondly, there is NO SECRET!!! lol, it's all about Consistency! Consistency in fitness and eating healthy, that is it! 30 lbs you got this! If you start today I am pretty sure you will lose it by mid-December! Well Wishes on your new lifestyle!
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    I find this to be a really touchy subject for me. I want to succeed and I have tried and failed so many times. My family/fiancé are an awesome support system, but I find when they critique me, that I get very defensive, and I don't think that helps anyone. I think from here on out I want to just keep it to myself, because this about me, not anyone else but me. I need to get healthy and do this for me. Once we are married we are thinking about having a baby, and I WILL NOT get pregnant at the weight I am at. I have to be healthier so that IF I do get pregnant that I can be healthy from the get go and hopefully continue to be active through my pregnancy
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    My husband is a VERY fit U.S Marine of 9 years. SOOO working out is "easy". I was always pretty much in shape, had a baby...got heavy....then really thin...then heavy.

    He kinda hinted I would start, stop, start, stop and complain I was "fat". I got fed up with him so I refused to talk to him about ANYTHING food/diet/fitness related. I did 30 day shred for 30 days without him knowing at all. I lost 10 lbs. Then I told him. I told him I can do it all on my own without him "pushing" me in the negative way. He saw the results, learned I'm a big girl and backed off.

    Since then I've been dealing with alot of medical problems, but lost 10 more lbs.. He pretty much backs off and wont say anything due to before (even if I BEG). Now I'm pretty much open with him.

    The rest of the world: Private. I don't tell anyone anything. If they mention I lost weight, I will comment yes I have and thank you. It's just a hassel to hear numbers, diet choices, and so on.
  • Cinloykko
    Cinloykko Posts: 117 Member
    I told everyone because i thought that wud get me more support and what not... But all I've gotten are discouragements and the half hearted "you don't need to lose weight....." ... If i cud do it over, i wud keep it a secret until I've seen some results. Because right now, all my friends and family do is buy junk foods to tempt me to get off my diet and all my friends joke about my calorie counting.
    Lol

    I read somewhere that our friends and family will tend to be our downfall. Nobody likes change and losing weight is a dramatic change for us. But i say, keep up the good work!!! Don't let other's words get to you too much and in the end, you'll be happy and healthy and thats all that matters :-)
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    I find this to be a really touchy subject for me. I want to succeed and I have tried and failed so many times. My family/fiancé are an awesome support system, but I find when they critique me, that I get very defensive, and I don't think that helps anyone. I think from here on out I want to just keep it to myself, because this about me, not anyone else but me. I need to get healthy and do this for me. Once we are married we are thinking about having a baby, and I WILL NOT get pregnant at the weight I am at. I have to be healthier so that IF I do get pregnant that I can be healthy from the get go and hopefully continue to be active through my pregnancy
    Would it be an option to put all your cards on the table? I think often people don't do the obvious - choose open and friendly communication - but either say nothing or scream at each other. My idea was for you to just say how you feel about the project, tell them it's still new and you're struggling a bit, so would it be possible for the discussions to take place only when you bring the topic up? Perhaps think a bit more about what you would need from them, then give clear examples of it, so they know how you mean it? Just a thought, because I don't think it's necessary to always do some kind of extreme in communication, but perhaps people could make a bit of effort in not pushing their own agenda, when someone else is working hard on changing their lifestyle. And picking your own perspective only during a challenging discussion is even better, rather than "You always...".
  • luckynky
    luckynky Posts: 123 Member
    I told my husband for two reasons: 1) I wanted to make myself more accountable. If I told him I'm going to do it, then I am more likely to follow through. 2) I really am hoping that he joins me at some point. He seems really impressed that I've lost this much weight so far and have been sticking with it for 2 1/2 months. Hoping that he will feel a little peer pressure to get into shape, too. ;)
  • pennie63
    pennie63 Posts: 10
    LOL! You're funny. We are about the same weight and wanting to lose about the same ! I think it takes a good 15 pound for people to start to notice you are losing weight ! Good for you doing P90X !! You can friend me if you'd like. We can always use motivators!
  • water_coloured
    water_coloured Posts: 81 Member
    I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight because all they say is, "OMG you don't need to lose weight!"

    I heard somewhere that when you tell others you are going to start doing something (ie. losing weight, exercising every day), you are actually less likely to accomplish that goal. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but that may be the case for some people.
  • superfox12082
    superfox12082 Posts: 512 Member
    I lost 20 pound and my boyfriend never said a word. And yes, it was noticeable:huh: . Men!
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    My DH (not necessarily Darling Husband) knows. I was on another diet site and couldn't get MFP to work for me because I wasn't clicking in the right places. His doctor read him the riot act September 20, 2012 when he went in for an appointment and had a 10.6 A1C and I was able to go back on my diet because he had been told to lose weight at 296 pounds. I dieted with him and he showed me how to use MFP which the doctor's nutritionalist had turned him on to. He quit several months ago and gained all but about 10 pounds back but I just kept on plodding and lost 21 more pounds. Now he's decided to get back on the program. :D Most of my other friends know. They don't try to sabotage me because they know as a diabetic I eat what I can and if I don't eat it it's either not gong to help my blood sugars or I probably shouldn't have it. One of my friends knows that if I haven't eaten and I need to that 1 ounce of cheese will do me good. :) Lately I've gotten a lot of compliments on my weight loss but I've lost about 23% of my body weight since September 20.
  • flitabout
    flitabout Posts: 200 Member
    Well everybody in my house knows I am trying to eat different but I swear I have been so up and down for the last 3 years since I had my last baby. But I get really funny looks when I am running around scanning barcodes on my phone!
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    I feel like your husband might not ever outright comment on your actual weight loss. In men's minds that is a recipe for disaster. He might not know if you will respond in a stereotypical way by thinking he thought you were fat before. I personally never kept this from my boyfriend, and he has been nothing but supportive and complimentary the entire time.


    ha ha you got that right. My dh never says anything first about my weight. When I did tell him I was losing again, he was very encouraging, and continues to tell me how well I'm doing. But he has learned over the many years that we have been together to NEVER offer a comment on my weight !
  • jlear001
    jlear001 Posts: 6 Member
    Wow, that has to be hard! You should be so proud of your weight loss so far!!
  • abetterbrandi
    abetterbrandi Posts: 131
    I've told my boyfriend, and a few people close to me. I'm not announcing it. My results will speak volumes!
  • keg619
    keg619 Posts: 356 Member
    The first time I lost weight I told everyone how much I was losing each week and the total loss, all the time. I lost 65 pounds in 6 months. The weight loss slowed down, and the compliments stopped rolling in, which had an effect on my motivation. I eventually gained back 120 pounds.

    This time around I didn't tell anyone, and only mentioned it when people asked me. I'm not keeping it a secret, but I don't want to make the same mistake I did last time. Almost all of my friends now know, since I have lost quite a bit, but the only time I will really talk about it is if they have questions or offer a compliment. I lost 90 pounds in the first 8 months, plateaued for about a year and then slowly gained back 25 pounds the last couple of months. Now that I am back on track with healthy eating and losing the weight I don't feel like it's a necessity to let everyone know. MFP is the only place that I display my losses for everyone to see.

    For me, it's more motivating when I just have myself to rely on. If I keep needing compliments from other people or support from them, I will probably go back to the way I was when that supports dwindles.
  • Tigermum9
    Tigermum9 Posts: 546 Member
    All my family are either skinny or fat and proud, so any form of diet or exercise does not interest any of them in the slightest. \not a supportive family!

    I keep it all to myself x
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    My sister knows because the other day she asked what time it was and I looked in my bra to tell her.


    LOL!
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight because all they say is, "OMG you don't need to lose weight!"

    I heard somewhere that when you tell others you are going to start doing something (ie. losing weight, exercising every day), you are actually less likely to accomplish that goal. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but that may be the case for some people.

    Interesting. I have often heard the opposite - that telling leads to accountability. I wonder if the difference is in the reason for telling.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    So many people are the type that need the support of others to lose weight and be healthy. My MIL is always like, "Oh, will you come walking with me?" Blah blah bah. I am not that person at all.

    I made the decision to get in better shape over 2.5 years ago. I really didn't tell anyone. I just did it. It wasn't a 'I'm going on diet in the new year', or 'summer is coming, I want to look good in a bathing suit', kinda thing. I seriously just woke up one morning and decided, screw this being out of shape nonsense. I knew accountability was a big thing for me, so I downloaded the MFP app on my iPhone and religiously logged calories for weeks. Next thing I knew, I was down 18lbs. Eventually those around me started to notice that I was being more conscious of what I was eating, and I was walking my dog a couple of times a day. When they asked what I was doing, I told them.

    I have never been the kind of person who needs recognition or ego stroking. I like it when it comes my way, but I don't seek it. So, losing weight and being more physically fit makes me a happier person. That is enough of a motivator to keep me on track.

    Rereading the above makes me sound a bit like a loner. I am definitely a people person, but I am also more then comfortable doing my own thing too.

    Good luck to all!
    MB
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    Why is hardship of various kinds embarrassing? Everybody struggles at some point in their life and on some people the weight will tell, in others the mess will be on the inside.

    True dat.
  • laylaness
    laylaness Posts: 262 Member
    My boyfriend knows; when I started logging, he did too, a couple of weeks after I did. He's really supportive. And it's nice to talk about what we eat and get new ideas for lunch or whatever. We don't cook that much (we're lazy), but we help each other make better choices when we go to the grocery store.

    He's also proud of me for starting Insanity. He's allergic to working out, but he encourages me to.
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
    There have been many times that I haven't told anyone. But this time I decided to tell pretty much everyone important to me. I figure it will be harder for me to quit since I have told people. When I kept it a secret it was easy to secretly quit too.
  • iDuchaine
    iDuchaine Posts: 12 Member
    Told my bf and he's been pretty helpful. Haven't told him how much (don't think he'd be as supportive of me losing another 20), just focusing on the 'healthy active lifestyle' part. It's rubbing off on him; he's probably lost 10lbs in the past month and a half without trying too hard.
  • myzticsunshine
    myzticsunshine Posts: 20 Member
    my husband really likes my bigger frame -_-" so while he sees i work out he buys pizza or m&ms and trys to tell me I need to eat . Sigh lol , so no i havent told him


    I'm surprised he wouldn't notice 100IBs lost! Lmao, good job! Also I understand liking a big frame, but also it's just so much healthier to be active and eat right (not even necessarily diet). So being the fact that he cares for you, a man should totally be down for his woman loosing weight because she wants to lea a happier more fit lifestyle

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